Healing Her

Donna Durham, LMFT & Christi Vander Voort
  • 5.0 (7)
  • MENTAL HEALTH
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Life comes at us fast and keeping our balance can take real work. What would it look like to be emotionally and spiritually strong? Welcome to the Healing Her podcast. Listen in as best friends Christi and Donna share stories of God's healing work in their lives. Donna Durham is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) in Nashville, TN. and Christi Vander Voort is a seasoned communicator. They want to offer valuable tools and stories to listeners to help navigate the ups and downs of everyday life.

Episodes

  1. 10/15/2024

    Season 2 - Episode 7: Lament - Crying Out to God in Grief

    We are ending this season of The Healing Her Podcast by learning about Lament. God is our Comforter, Healer, Strong Tower, and Provider. We know that in grief we sometimes turn away from God and feel that God is not present in our pain. But God is not uncomfortable with our grief or grieving. We want to share a Biblical way to cry out to God in our grief because we believe HE is the answer to it! We want to encourage our listeners to keep praying through pain. What is Lament A lament is a prayer expressing sorrow, pain, or confusion. It’s not looking at the bright side but through the Psalms of lament and the Book of Lamentations, we learn to give voice to our pain. Lament gives us permission to wrestle with sorrow before God. In the book we’re following Dark Clouds Deep Mercy by Mark Vroegop, he writes on page 27: "Because the book of Psalms is filled with lament, it is the songbook for God’s covenant community. They reflect the joys, struggles, sorrows, and triumphs of life. It’s noteworthy that at least a third of the 150 psalms are laments. What this tells us is sorrow and grief are not a surprise to God." As believers, we can look to scripture to see how Jesus - "a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief”- the Son of God himself, showed us how to grieve. FOUR KEY ELEMENTS OF LAMENT: Turn Complain Ask Trust Every step of lament is a part of the pathway toward hope. Lament invites us to turn our gaze from the pain of loss to the Redeemer of every hurt. The cross shows us that God has already proven himself to be for us and not against us. Jesus bought the right to make everything right. Lament prayers celebrate this truth through tears.  Psalm 77 invites us to keep asking: "I cried out to God for help; I cried out to God to hear me. When I was in distress, I sought the Lord; at night I stretched out untiring hands, and I would not be comforted." God isn’t turned off by our sorrow. He wants us to turn to Him and tell him about our struggles, ask questions, and share our fears. It takes faith to pray in pain, even with its messy struggle and tough questions, is an act of faith where we open our hearts to God. Biblical lament offers an alternative to a prison of despair and bitterness or living in an emotional cave. Lament is the language of a people who believe in God’s sovereignty but live in a world with tragedy. Start complaining- He can take it and He already knows it!  Psalm 10:1 the psalmist asks: "Why, O Lord, do you stand far off? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?" Boldly ask for God’s help. The movement from complaining to asking takes place when grief becomes shadowed by who God is - my fortress, my protector, my redeemer, my strong tower, my rock, my refuge, my help. When Jesus was on the cross, he used David’s questions from Psalm 22:1: “My God, my God, why have you abandoned me? Why are you so far away when I groan for help?” But notice, after David’s strong and heartfelt complaints he turns to God’s character. The key word is “yet”. “Yet you are holy, enthroned on the praises of Israel. Our ancestors trusted in you, and you rescued them.” David is in deep pain and feels abandoned, yet he anchors his soul to who God is and what He has done. His complaints become bridges leading him to God’s character. But what do we ask? What we ask is as diverse as the painful circumstances we find ourselves in. Express Trust and/or Praise to God Suffering refines what we trust in and how we talk about it.  Pain can bring clarity. Loss affirms trust. Pain can become a platform for worship. We can turn from hardship to the character of God. But we are going to have to choose to take this final step. Not once and for all. It’s not like you need one lament prayer and you never need to lament again. Grief is not that tame. We must enter into lament over and over again so that it can keep leading us to trust

    32 min

  2. 10/08/2024

    Season 2 - Episode 6: How to Show Up for a Friend who is Grieving

    The Do’s and Don'ts - What to Say and What NOT to Say to Someone in Grief The Don’ts 1. DO NOT SILVER LINING THE LOSS!! Do not say  “God needed another angel” “They are in a better place”… “You will have more children” “At least you have….” You can find another job… DO NOT utter a sentence that starts with AT LEAST... 2. Do Not Ghost your friend - Keep checking in- It is common for a grieving person to have a flat affect and may not be fun to be around… it is normal. 3. Do not say, I know how you feel- You do NOT know how they feel. You may have experienced a loss, but you did not have the exact situation or exact relationship scenario. And it is not helpful when people say, "I know how you feel." 4. Do not judge their grief- We have been discussing the many ways people grieve. In grief, we very likely are not the best versions of ourselves. If someone wants to be alone, don't judge. If they eat a lot, don't judge. If they throw themselves into work, don't judge. 5. Do not tell them how to grieve- Do not tell them, you should cry more, or you should get out more, or you don't look sad, or you look too sad, or you should go away for a while, or you should stay home more, etc. No two people grieve in the same way. 6. Don't disregard your own grief- You may not be the closest person to the loss but you may still experience grief. It is important to care for yourself. Just because you were not close to the person or you aren't close to the person anymore doesn't mean you don't have grief. The Do’s 1. Show up- Go to the funeral, make a donation, send the flowers, write the note, make a social media post. 2. Use the name of the person who died. “How have you been since Steve passed away? Tell me about Mary. A common experience when we lose someone is people stop talking about them. 3. Check in a week later, a month later, a year later- Touching base and stopping by regularly helps. Make a plan and invite them out instead of “let me know if you want to get together”…  Can you go out for lunch on Saturday? If they say no, ask them again later.  Offer to clean the house or hire someone to clean for them. Offer to do the laundry. Offer to take the kids. Set up the meal train. Offer to help with landscaping. 4. Remember the anniversary. Send the text, make a call, mail a card. (A friend of mine received a card signed by the leadership of the church at the first anniversary of his mother's passing)

    25 min

  3. 10/01/2024

    Season 2 - Episode 5: Growing Up With a Mentally Ill Mother - Donna’s Story

    In this episode, Donna shares her experience growing up with a mother who has a mental illness. Since most people will be in a relationship with someone who has a mental illness, we wanted to provide information, empathy, and tools for dealing with this delicate topic. From the National Association of Mental Illness website- https://www.nami.org/ A mental illness is a condition that affects a person’s thinking, feelings, behavior, or mood. These conditions deeply impact day-to-day living and may also affect the ability to relate to others. Mental health conditions are far more common than you think, mainly because people don’t like to, or are scared to, talk about them. 1 in 5 U.S. adults experience mental illness each year - that’s 20%! 1 in 20 U.S. adults experience serious mental illness each year 1 in 6 U.S. youth aged 6-17 experience a mental health disorder each year 50% of all lifetime mental illness begins by age 14, and 75% by age 24 How to help yourself when you are in a relationship with someone with mental illness. Give yourself permission to tell the truth about the behavior you are seeing in your loved one. It is common for a person with mental illness to lack personal insight regarding their behavior. Give yourself permission to keep yourself safe. Set boundaries that you need in the relationship. (How often you see each other, boundaries around when calls are too early or too late) How to help a person with mental illness. You can only help someone who wants help. You can share your experience with the person you are concerned about and see if they are willing to see a professional.  If someone knows they have a diagnosis and is willing to share it with you, ask them, "How can I support you?" Be a good listener when they need to talk. Let them know their diagnosis is just part of them, not all of them. However, if their behavior becomes violent, or too much of a roller coaster for you, you must choose to care for yourself by setting necessary boundaries. OR if they threaten to harm themselves or you,  call 911 or 855 274- 7471 - for Mobile Crisis. It can truly be a challenging journey that includes lots of grief when walking with a person on a mental health journey. Getting the right diagnosis and the right medication and help takes a process. When those things are in place people can also experience real joy.  Adjusting to the news that someone you are close to has a mental illness can be hard. Here are a few tools to help with that journey. Talk to a therapist Journal about your own experience Talk to a friend to find support Allow yourself to grieve, this is a different reality than you expected Set boundaries that you need in the relationship Consider joining a support group https://www.nami.org/ What helped Donna? People who were brave enough to let me know they could see my mom wasn't “typical” Friends who listened with compassion Friends that didn't say, “You shouldn't talk about your mother that way”

    24 min

  4. 09/24/2024

    Season 2 - Episode 4: There's SO Much To DO!

    In this episode of Healing Her Grief we share tips and tools on how to manage many of the tasks that have to be done when someone passes, as well as thoughts on how to think through special dates and anniversaries. Things To Do: Plan the service Arrange for death certificates Locate the will Gather photos of the loved one for the service Write the obituary Make phone calls Tools Talk to aging parents and ask them if you can create a notebook of what needs to be taken care of when they pass away. (This can be a sensitive conversation where many are not willing to plan for the event of their death.) If they are unwilling, be compassionate and understanding. You can let them know that you respect them, and if there is ever a time they feel comfortable making these plans, you would welcome that conversation. After the passing of a loved one: Cleaning out clothes and belongings - There is no set time when going through clothes and possessions is appropriate. We recommend talking with family members and showing compassion for all involved.  Anniversaries - Permit yourself to remember the ‘firsts' of everything. Share what you remember with a close friend. Write about it in your journal. You will have documentation and be able to look back and see how you got through the first year of loss. Holidays - Give yourself permission to consider what you want and need during the holidays. Have open conversations with your family about how you would like to celebrate this year. It may feel right to keep the same traditions but expect tears along the way. Blue Christmas - Consider attending a church service set aside for grieving people. Can't find one?  Stay at home, light a candle, honor your loss and remember your loved one.

    15 min

  5. 09/17/2024

    Season 2 - Episode 3: Am I Normal?

    We don't feel or act like ourselves when we experience loss, leaving some people asking, am I normal? This episode of Healing Her Grief focuses on some normal things people experience in loss. We also discuss tools to use to help you cope. Relief If someone has been sick for a long time, it is normal to experience relief when they pass. This doesn't mean you didn't love them. It just means you can see they were suffering and are grateful it has ended.  TOOL - Hold space for… I wish my loved one had continued living a healthy life. That is not how things played out. I can give myself permission to admit parts of this season/ journey were very hard and it is normal to experience relief when that part of the journey ends.  Tears Tears are normal. It is your body's way of regulating emotions. The authors of On Grief and Grieving write, “The worst thing you can do is to stop short of really letting it out. Uncried tears have a way of filling the well of sadness even more deeply.” Give yourself permission to cry. TOOL- When it isn't a good time to cry... Honor the feelings.  Imagine you are going into a job interview. Maybe you are returning to work after a divorce or the loss of your spouse. There is a lot of emotion showing up for you. Put your hand on your chest and speak to yourself calmly... “I know you are hurting ... but we have something to do right now.  When we finish, we can sit down and have a good cry. But now let's go in there and do our thing.” Dreams It is common for people to dream about their loved ones after they die. Research says these dreams have several purposes. One is to help us deal with the overwhelming feelings we experience in loss. Dreams help us visualize what is happening inside of us. One man had a dream that he was working out and weights kept getting added to the bar he was lifting. This symbolized “too much too fast” of all the things he had to do after his wife died. (On Grief and Grieving) Sometimes dreams remind us of the healthy version of the person we lost.  TOOL - Write your dreams in a journal to keep track of this part of your healing process.

    24 min

  6. 09/10/2024

    Season 2 - Episode 2: Symptoms of Grief

    Ways we see grief in the Resurrection Story from John 20 NIV Mary Magdalene, in her grief, needs to do something. She goes to anoint and prepare Jesus' body. She finds the tomb empty and hurries to tell the disciples—John and Peter race to the tomb. Peter rushes in to see the clothes and still thinks they have stolen Jesus' body. (maybe he’s in denial) Mary stays back and isolated in her grief crying, she even speaks to Jesus, it's not until he calls her name that her grief allows her to see him. Thomas was absent when Jesus walked through walls and revealed Himself to the disciples. Maybe he was a doer and could not stay shut up in a room with his grief. He needs to hear and see the Lord for himself, touch and feel to make sure it is Jesus, the man he walked, ate, and lived with. Our grief symptoms present themselves physically, socially, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. Symptoms of Grief 1. Difficulty Sleeping- It is so common to wake up at night and not be able to fall back to sleep. 2. Feelings of Detachment- It's normal for people to feel like they are not connected to themselves or their people. They feel 'floaty' and have trouble following their own line of thinking. 3. People do strange things in grief- In grief, we are not the best versions of ourselves. 4. Mental struggles are normal in griefWorry tends to be specific and grounded in reality. ex: worry about the future, the kids, finances Anxiety tends to affect our bodies and interrupt our daily functioning. Frustration shows itself when we no longer have the emotional margin we need to deal with the typical ups and downs of life. ex: Hot Dog scene in Father of the Bride (see Resources)5. Physical symptoms- Fatigue is a HUGE symptom of grief. Grief is exhausting. Lack of energy to exercise, to see friends, and to complete seemingly easy household tasks can be too hard. This is so normal.  6. You may notice people will lose weight when they are grieving- Many people stop eating or don't feel like eating when they are grieving. It is ok. Appetite will come back. 7. It's common for clients to experience aches and pains in grief- we call this a somatic experience. 8. There is something weird about time in grief. It is common to take a long time to complete a task or wonder where the day went. Treating Grief Counseling, along with medication when needed, have been the most common methods of treating grief. Initially, your doctor may prescribe medications to help you function more fully. These might include sedatives, antidepressants, or anti-anxiety medications to help you get through the day. In addition, your doctor might prescribe medication to help you sleep. Should you take medication (like an antidepressant or a sleeping pill)? The use of medication in grief treatment is controversial. Some providers believe it can mask feelings that arise as one goes through the grieving process, and potentially delay healing. You and your physician can determine a treatment plan that's best for you. Should you contact a therapist? It's a good idea to contact a therapist when you have experienced a loss. Support groups, bereavement groups, or individual counseling can help you work through unresolved grief. This is a beneficial treatment alternative when you find the grief event is creating obstacles in your everyday life and you are having trouble functioning. This support in no way "cures" you of your loss, rather, it provides you with coping strategies to help you effectively deal with your grief. The Kübler-Ross Model is a tried and true guideline, but there is no right or wrong way to work through your grief. Personal experiences may vary as people move through the stages of grief. RESOURCES: Father of the Bride - Hot Dog Scene https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oYIHLUxzRr8

    18 min

  7. 09/02/2024

    Season 2 - Episode 1: Stages of Grief

    Healing Her Grief The stages of grief are common experiences that people notice when they go through loss. Some people will experience all the stages, some will only experience a few stages, but often we don't recognize what is going on with us. By understanding what you are going through and knowing that you are normal you can practice self compassion and patience with yourself. Sometimes just putting words to what we feel brings relief. It will also help you be equipped to show kindness and compassion to your friends and family when they have loss.  “Why grieve? For two reasons. First, those who grieve well, live well. Second, and most important, grief is the healing process of the heart, soul, and mind; it is the path that returns us to wholeness. It shouldn’t be a matter of if you will grieve; the question is when will you grieve. And until we do, we suffer from the effects of that unfinished business.” ~David Kessler (pg 229) On Grief and Grieving STAGES OF GRIEF Denial Anger Bargaining Depression Acceptance Making Meaning Denial is the stage that can initially help you survive the loss. You might think life makes no sense, has no meaning, and is too overwhelming. You start to deny the news and go numb. Denial may look like disbelief. "Did it really happen?”“I can’t believe he’s gone.”“Did I just dream that?”““I’m going to go home and she’ll be there.” Anger is the stage where you think "Why me?" and "Life's not fair!" You might look to blame others for the cause of your grief and also may redirect your anger to close friends and family. You find it unbelievable how something like this could happen to you. If you are strong in faith, you might start to question your belief in God: “Where is God? Why didn't he protect me?” Bargaining is when you try to figure out how the loss could have been avoided. “What ifs” and Promises are the most common versions of bargaining. "What if she had gone to the doctor earlier?" "What if he had gotten another Covid shot?" "If she survives the surgery I will be the best husband ever." "I will dedicate my life to God if He heals me."   Depression is commonly associated with grief. It can be a reaction to the emptiness we feel when we are living in reality and realize the person or situation is gone or over. In this stage, you might withdraw from life, feel numb, live in a fog, and not want to get out of bed. The world might seem too much and too overwhelming for you to face. You might not want to be around others or feel like talking, and you might feel hopeless. Acceptance is the stage where your emotions may begin to stabilize. Not in the sense that "it's OK my husband died" but rather, "my husband died, but I'm going to be OK." You re-enter reality and come to terms with the fact that the "new" reality is your partner is never coming back, or that you are going to succumb to your illness. It's not a "good" thing, but it's something you can move forward from. Making Meaning has to do with the story we tell ourselves. This is the stage that David Kessler added to the first 5 stages and it helps us make sense of grief. People who can find meaning in loss are less likely to get stuck. We find meaning in doing something that honors the person we loss. WE plant a tree, start a non- profit organization, make a donation. RESOURCES On Grief and Grieving by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross M.D. & Davis Kessler ⁠Grieving Like God⁠ Healthy Feeling Thriving Faith by Bill & Kristi Gaultiere Dark Clouds Deep Mercy by Mark Vroegop Steel Magnolias scene-⁠M'Lynn: "I Wanna Know Why Shelby's Life Is Over" | Steel Magnolias (Sally Field)⁠ Forrest Gump scenes Lt. Dan - ⁠Forrest Gump (1994) - Lt. Dan Makes His Peace Scene | Movieclips⁠ Tools- Personal Reflection- Reflect on seasons of loss that you have experienced. Do you remember experiencing any of these stages? Are you in a season of loss now? What do you notice about yourself? Spend time journaling, giving yourself permission not to judge the difficulty of grief.

    31 min

  8. 02/14/2024

    Season 1 - Episode 5: Grief Is The Cost Of Love

    In this episode Christi and Donna discuss the VERY NORMAL challenges that show up when kids become adults. Parents have loved their children through infancy, preschool, elementary school years, and finally high school. There is often a tension between wanting to continue to protect them and knowing they must make their own decisions, and figure out how to function in the adult world. Normal changes that need to take place: Treat them like adults by allowing them to have more responsibility, do their own laundry, manage money, etc. Advice giving. If they ask for advice give it. If they don't ask for advice, you might say, I have some thoughts on... Would you like to hear them? If they say ‘no”. Its ok. Money and support. Adult kids should be decreasing their financial dependence on parents. It is normal to experience grief in the launching process Part of the grief is the mystery of How are they going to do? There is a normal fear because you haven't gone through it yet AND they haven't gone through it yet. What do I do with myself? This is a great time to ask how you want to develop parts of yourself. Grief is the cost of love. It's normal to need time to adjust to the fact that they are not here anymore. Some kids stay connected, some kids don't. Don't punish them if they are focused on adjusting to their new life. Let your kids make their own decisions, even if you can see some of them will be a mistake. Remember to ask yourself, "What was I like at that age?" Don't expect kids to think like your middle aged self. They are still developing. Tools: Spend some time crying What is in your heart to do next for you? Go for some walks- Allow yourself time to miss your kid. Talk to your spouse - Let this be a bonding time for you. Focus on what is next for me?- Career Change? New hobby? Talk to your friends - How are they experiencing these changes? Spend time journaling - Acknowledge how things are different. Spend time praying - Let Jesus give you comfort and wisdom.

    19 min

  9. 02/14/2024

    Season 1 - Episode 4: Chaos To Calm

    In this episode Donna and Christi discuss the valuable tools of going to breath and practicing mindfulness during anxiety or panic attacks. A panic attack is a sudden experience of fear and anxiety with physical symptoms. The symptoms often include feeling like you can't breathe as well as shaking or thinking you are having a heart attack. To interrupt a panic attack 1. push feet into the floor 2. breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth 3. and say “the floor is strong enough to hold me” 4. continue breathing 5. focus on the feeling of your bottom on the chair and say “The chair is strong enough to hold me.” 6. look around the room and name things that they see in the room. This practice interrupts the anxious thoughts. Practice 1. Body Scan 2. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth 3. Starting at the top of your head, notice any tension or words you don't need right now. 4. Imagine you are blowing away that tension and blowing away those words just like you would blow away a dandelion. 5. Allow your attention to float down to your shoulders. Bring your shoulders up towards your ears on your inhale. Release them on your exhale and again. 6. Allow your attention to float down your back, noticing any tension in your shoulder blades, 7. Bringing relaxation to your shoulder blades. 8. Noticing your lower back. Bringing relaxation to your lower back. 9. Noticing the feeling your bottom on the couch or chair. The couch is strong enough to hold you...pushing your feet into the floor. Reminding yourself that the floor is strong enough to hold you. 10. Making two fists, inhale, and bringing your fists up towards your shoulders and squeeze in your torso, then shake out your fists. Now what do you notice in your body? Favorite Weather Imagine you are walking on a path. As you are walking you realize , this is my favorite type of weather! What is your favorite type of weather? For a few seconds, bask in that experience of your favotir type of weather. Where are you? ( Field, Meadow, Lake?) Set your timer for 1 minute and allow yourself to experience 1 minute of your favorite weather. Safe place Keep walking on path. As you're walking you notice, this path is taking me to the place where you feel safest in the world. It can be real of imaginary. Allow yourself to be there, bask in that safety. Would you like to bring in a comforting presence? A person you fell loved by?

    33 min

  10. 02/14/2024

    Season 1 - Episode 3: Staying Calm When You Feel Like Exploding

    In this episode of The Healing Her podcast Christi and Donna discuss emotion regulation, the process of staying calm and grounded when you feel like exploding. Everyone gets upset from time to time. But losing your temper can damage relationships and cause disconnection with people you love. Here are some tools for staying calm when you feel upset. Regulate yourself first Donna shares a story of getting angry when her teenager yells at her. Instead of yelling back she regulates her own emotions by going to another room and breathing until she feels calmer. Hit the Pause Button- you may tell the person you are with that you need to hit the pause button and come back to the conversation when you don't feel so flooded or activated. Go to another location, another room, take a walk, go for a drive. Focus on your breathing. Take a deep breath, notice your feelings. Keep taking deep breaths until your body and your mind feel calmer. How do you need to re-engage the conversation? In the story Donna shares that she reminds her son “You may not talk to me that way.” She stayed calm and grounded, which opened up communication. The Do-Over, we all say things we regret. Asking someone for a do-over is a way to apologize and practice changing the regretful behavior. When you realize you have said or done something that you wish you hadn't, say out loud. “Can I have a Do_Over?" You may need to go to another room and calm yourself before deciding what would be a better thing to say. Come back to your person and say, I am sorry, I wish I had said... Staying in your adult - According to Jan Bergstrom's book, Gifts from a Challenging Childhood, we all have child part, teen parts and adult parts. Our child parts often feel small and overwhelmed. Our teen parts are critical, judgemental or rude. Our adult parts stay grounded, not get flooded emotionally, and can be reasonable. They can be the calming presence in the room. Resources: Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs Voice of the Heart by Chip Dodd Gifts From A Challenging Childhood by Jan Bergstrom

    18 min

  11. 02/14/2024

    Season 1 - Episode 2: Lies In My Head

    In this episode Christi shares her story of expecting marriage to make her world perfect. She wanted to belong to someone. But when her husband's job took him away from home every week, Christi was alone with her two young sons and spiraling thoughts. What helped? Beth Moore's bible study Breaking Free and the gift of a Mentor. She learned to examine her thoughts through the filter of what God says. “My truth + the enemies lies = bondage” “My truth + God's truth = Freedom” What did change look like? “As I began unraveling the lies that I believed, I was able to see myself in a different light. To see myself how God sees me.” But it wasn't until she started journaling and practicing the presence of God that her life started changing. He spoke into her heart, healing her in the deepest places. A word from the Lord can change your life forever. The Tools that helped: 1. Mentor- an older woman and bible study leader that met with her on a personal level. 2. Bible Study- studying Gods word and applying its truth to her life. 3. Journaling- writing out her pain and inviting God to speak to her. 4. Praying- Talking to God about all the things. 5. Sitting/ Practicing the Presence of God- Inviting the Holy Spirit into her daily life.

    20 min

  12. 02/14/2024

    Season 1 - Episode 1: PTSD to Peace

    PTSD is a part of Donna’s story beginning when she was 32 years old. Donna and Christi explore Donna’s story of working through Post Traumatic Stress Disorder after her son experienced a health crisis. What is PTSD? PTSD is a mental condition that results in a series of emotional and physical reactions in individuals that have either witnessed or experienced a traumatic event. The difference between trauma and PTSD is the length of time a person experiences symptoms after the event. When symptoms last longer than a month traumatic symptoms are diagnosed as PTSD. A short definition of trauma is your brain got overwhelmed and doesn't know how to process what happened. This experience revealed her bad theology. She believed that if she was a good mom and wife , nothing bad would happen to her family. Donna's symptoms included: a flinch, left eye would blur, shaking in the middle of the night, a sense of unease throughout the day. A feeling of not being grounded in herself. The Tools discussed in this episode: 1. Reach out to people who know more than you. A friend, medical personnel, therapist. 2. Prayer, Invite the Lord to show you where the fear is coming from - go back to the memories to heal. 3. Medication to support your brain in recovery. 4. Inner healing ministry 5. Therapy- Psychology Today www.psychologytoday.com/us 6. Exercise- regular exercise will help your body release the stress of PTSD 7. Talking/ walking with a friend 8. Reading - Leanne Payne- The Healing Presence book 9. Forgive people who have harmed you- ask for the power of the cross 10. Mindfulness- noticing thoughts and recognizing I am separate from my thoughts 11. Breathing tools- in through your nose out through your mouth. I am giving you what you need right now 12. Grounding tools- pushing your feet into the floor and breathing. 13. Bring to mind a loving presence- who is someone who loves you. Think about that person in times of stress. Resourses: The Healing Presence by Leanne Payne, The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk

    30 min
  • 12 Episodes

5
out of 5
7 Ratings

About

Life comes at us fast and keeping our balance can take real work. What would it look like to be emotionally and spiritually strong? Welcome to the Healing Her podcast. Listen in as best friends Christi and Donna share stories of God's healing work in their lives. Donna Durham is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) in Nashville, TN. and Christi Vander Voort is a seasoned communicator. They want to offer valuable tools and stories to listeners to help navigate the ups and downs of everyday life.

Information

  • Creator
    Donna Durham, LMFT & Christi Vander Voort
  • Years Active
    2K
  • Episodes
    12
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Donna Durham, LMFT & Christi Vander Voort
  • Show Website
    Healing Her