In this episode, Tanya walks clinical psychologist and author, Dee Donaldson, through what coercive control looked like before she had the words for it: the innocent country girl, pub culture, the isolation, the apology cycle, and the moment she realised she had to plan an escape to survive. She also speaks to the part people rarely name: what it costs after you leave — being treated like the villain, living with shame, battling self-blame, the judgement of others, and learning to rebuild an identity in silence. Later, Tanya connects the dots across multiple relationships (“the black hole”), then turns outward to prevention: what every 14-year-old should be taught about early harm, safe people, and the difference between romance and ownership. Content note: discussion of domestic violence, coercive control, threats, and family court stress. If this episode resonates: save it, share it with a friend, and subscribe to follow for future releases. HearHER - Women Breaking Silence is a podcast that gives voice to women harmed - hosted by Clinical Psychologist, Writer, and Founder of WiseWOMAN Studio. For practical evidence-informed resources for women after harmful relationships or experiences and for those wanting to reclaim their voice, WiseWOMAN Studio offers the RECLAIM SELF (An educational program for women making sense of harmful relational experiences): https://wisewomanstudio.com/reclaim self To find out more about the programs that our guest, Tanya, offers: https://www.iamwomanempowerment.com/ Disclaimer: The views, experiences, and opinions expressed in this episode are those of the guest and do not necessarily reflect the views of HearHER, its host, producers, affiliates, or associated organisations. This podcast provides a platform for personal storytelling. HearHER does not independently verify individual claims, allegations, or accounts shared by guests. Any references to individuals, institutions, or systems are based solely on the guest’s personal experience and perspective. No identifying information is intentionally disclosed, and any resemblance to specific individuals is incidental. This content is provided for general educational and awareness purposes only. It does not constitute legal, medical, psychological, or professional advice. Listeners seeking support or advice should consult appropriately qualified professionals. HearHER does not endorse or assume responsibility for statements made by guests. #podcast #dangersign #abusesurvivors #domesticviolencesurvivors #relationship #domesticviolenceawareness #redflag #narcissisticabuse #coercivecontrol #abuserecovery HearHER is a project of WiseWOMAN Studio and is an educational platform, not therapy, and provides no psychological guidance. For more educational resources and programs for women recovering from harmful relationships and experiences visit: https://www.wisewomanstudio.com