REAL LIFE STORIES PLUS

3 Great Shows. All Ad-Free.

7 days free, then $3.99/month

How Did We Get Here?

In this new original series from Somethin' Else, Claudia Winkleman and Professor Tanya Byron identify struggles faced by real-life parents and family members by inviting them in and hearing their story, in a one-time unscripted session with a real person. Claudia listens in to the conversation to discover how Tanya begins to unlock the story behind the issue and help find solutions. With topics ranging from parental estrangement, gender identity, domestic violence, trauma, inheriting mental health issues, family dynamics after cancer and raising a severely disabled daughter, How Did We Get Here? is a passionate, insightful and moving experience with clear outcomes to each episode. This podcast doesn’t tell people how to raise their children, or reconnect with family members, rather it helps people understand why, as perfectly competent adults, they can’t put into practice what they know they should do. Each episode passes on useful links and contacts which listeners can find in the programme notes. This is a Somethin' Else production.

  1. You Might Also Like: On Purpose with Jay Shetty

    02/03/2025 ·  Bonus

    You Might Also Like: On Purpose with Jay Shetty

    Introducing Dr. Ramani: If You're Thinking About Going No Contact With a Family Member - Listen to THIS (How to Know If It's Time To Walk Away) from On Purpose with Jay Shetty. Follow the show: On Purpose with Jay Shetty Some relationships leave us questioning whether love is enough to stay. In this conversation, Jay sits down with Dr. Ramani to explore the painful reality of family estrangement and the growing number of people considering no contact with those closest to them. Together, they unpack the difference between self-protection and punishment, why guilt often accompanies healthy boundaries, and how years of unresolved hurt can lead someone to step away from a relationship they once fought hard to save. Rather than offering simple answers, this episode invites a deeper reflection on safety, repair, accountability, and healing. It challenges the belief that family ties should come at the expense of your well-being and reminds us that choosing yourself is rarely easy. Whether you're navigating a difficult relationship, supporting someone who is, or trying to understand a loved one's decision, this conversation offers compassion, clarity, and the reassurance that healing doesn't always look the way we expect. In this episode you'll learn: How to Know When No Contact Is Necessary How to Stop Abandoning Yourself for Family How to Recognize When Repair Isn’t Working How to Handle Guilt After Going No Contact How to Protect Your Peace Around Toxic Relatives How to Navigate Family Pressure and Backlash How to Choose Self-Protection Over Self-Betrayal Not every relationship is meant to be kept at the cost of your peace. Sometimes healing means repairing a connection, and sometimes it means creating distance from what continues to hurt you. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty JAY’S DAILY WISDOM DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX Join 900,000+ readers discovering how small daily shifts create big life change with my free newsletter. Subscribe https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe   Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast  What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 01:29 What Does Going No Contact Really Mean? 06:24 When No Contact Becomes Your Only Option  08:10 Can a Broken Relationship Be Repaired? 11:40 The Most Common Reasons People Go No Contact 14:48 It's Not the Mistake, It's the Repair 17:01 Pay Attention to Your Why 21:58 Detaching from a Harmful Relationship 26:29 You Have to Do What Feels Right for You 30:12 When Family Requires Self-Abandonment 35:37 The Weight of Internal Shame 36:44 The Hidden Cost of Always Keeping the Peace 42:26 When Someone Cuts You Off Without Explanation 44:13 When Is It Time to Cut Off Contact? 48:01 But They're Family... 53:16 Building Your Chosen Family 55:05 No Contact vs. A Falling Out 55:54 The Silent Treatment Is a Form of Emotional Aggression 58:01 Are We Getting Worse at Repairing Relationships? 01:02:38 The Relief of Finally Deciding to Go No Contact  01:04:09 How to Repair a Relationship After Being Cut Off 01:05:37 Forgiveness Isn't Always Healthy 01:08:26 The Challenges of Trying to Heal Trauma 01:11:29 Why Some Parents Don't Understand Estrangement 01:13:13 Handling Family Backlash After Going No Contact 01:15:12 When a Parent Is Both Supportive and Harmful 01:17:54 When Breaking No Contact Is Worth Considering 01:19:26 Can a Narcissistic Parent Change? 01:22:16 Should You Invite an Estranged Family Member to Your Wedding?  Episode Resources: Website | https://doctor-ramani.com/  YouTube | https://www.youtube.com/@DoctorRamani  Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/doctorramani  Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/doctorramani/  LinkedIn | https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramani-durvasula-4132067  TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@doctorramani  X | https://x.com/DoctorRamani See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. DISCLAIMER: Please note, this is an independent podcast episode not affiliated with, endorsed by, or produced in conjunction with the host podcast feed or any of its media entities. The views and opinions expressed in this episode are solely those of the creators and guests. For any concerns, please reach out to team@podroll.fm.

  2. 09/23/2021 ·  Bonus • Subscribers Only

    Season 1 & 2 Guests Revisited: Prof Tanya asks Jack if he's made contact with his father & whether a long-term relationship is more feasible for Sally

    In this third bonus episode of How Did We Get Here? Tanya catches up with two more of our previous guests from Season 1 and 2, to see how things have moved on since they last spoke and what they have learned in the process. First we hear from Jack, our first ever episode. He was estranged from his father and was thinking about reconnecting. Listen back to Jack’s episode from Season 1 here: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/my-distant-father/id1491735705?i=1000527123924 We’ll also hear from Sally, who found it hard to make a relationship last more than 18 months. She realised that a key moment in her life had changed her forever and needed to move on. Listen back to Sally’s episode from Season 2 here: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/my-long-term-relationships-dont-work/id1491735705?i=1000521783165 If you have been affected by any of the issues discussed in this episode please see below for information about further support and advice. To find help via talking therapies you can either go to your GP or the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) bacp.co.uk or bps.org.uk - they should be HCPC registered. Other helpful organisations: NHS - www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/mental-health-helplines SAMARITANS - www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan or call 116 123 MIND - www.mind.co.uk NSPCC - www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe WELLDOING - www.welldoing.org NICE - www.nice.org.uk/guidance Anxiety UK - www.anxietyuk.org.uk How Did We Get Here? is a Somethin' Else Production.

    38 min
  3. 08/26/2021 ·  Bonus • Subscribers Only

    Season 1 Guests Revisited: Professor Tanya asks Donia if her daughters are back in their own bed & finds out how Lara and her son Will, are getting on

    In this second bonus episode of How Did We Get Here? Tanya catches up with two more of our previous guests from Season 1, to see what they came away with from their session with her, how they’ve been getting on since, and their hopes for the future. First we hear from Donia, to find out if her daughter’s are sleeping in their own beds, and if she has dealt with her personal struggles with guilt and anxiety. Listen back to Donia’s episode from Season 1 here: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/how-did-we-get-here/id1491735705?i=1000527123923 We’ll also hear from Lara, to see if she has found a new perspective on her diagnosis of bipolar, and to find out how her son Will is getting on now. Listen back to Lara’s episode from Season 1 here: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/how-did-we-get-here/id1491735705?i=1000527123972 If you have been affected by any of the issues discussed in this episode please see below for information about further support and advice. To find help via talking therapies you can either go to your GP or the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) bacp.co.uk or bps.org.uk - they should be HCPC registered. Other helpful organisations: NHS - www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/mental-health-helplines SAMARITANS - www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan or call 116 123 MIND - www.mind.co.uk NSPCC - www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe WELLDOING - www.welldoing.org NICE - www.nice.org.uk/guidance Anxiety UK - www.anxietyuk.org.uk How Did We Get Here? is a Somethin' Else Production.

    42 min

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Shows with Subscription Benefits

REAL LIFE STORIES PLUS

3 Great Shows. All Ad-Free.

7 days free, then $3.99/month

4.4
out of 5
117 Ratings

About

In this new original series from Somethin' Else, Claudia Winkleman and Professor Tanya Byron identify struggles faced by real-life parents and family members by inviting them in and hearing their story, in a one-time unscripted session with a real person. Claudia listens in to the conversation to discover how Tanya begins to unlock the story behind the issue and help find solutions. With topics ranging from parental estrangement, gender identity, domestic violence, trauma, inheriting mental health issues, family dynamics after cancer and raising a severely disabled daughter, How Did We Get Here? is a passionate, insightful and moving experience with clear outcomes to each episode. This podcast doesn’t tell people how to raise their children, or reconnect with family members, rather it helps people understand why, as perfectly competent adults, they can’t put into practice what they know they should do. Each episode passes on useful links and contacts which listeners can find in the programme notes. This is a Somethin' Else production.

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