How Do We Deal?! Coping With the Confounding

Dara and Amber
  • 5.0 (20)
  • SOCIETY & CULTURE
  • UPDATED BIWEEKLY

We're all struggling with the unbearable weight of issues that society just can't seem to solve—while paying endless bills, making infinity dinners, and replying to inane work emails. So how do we deal? With some colorful and transparent commentary from hosts Dara and Amber, and helpful insights from occasional guestsperts.​ Trump's second term has only made the theme more relevant since the podcast began. Friends of different backgrounds from the same Boston suburb, Dara and Amber inevitably dive deep into meaningful conversation, whether they're shooting around on the basketball court or sipping Sauvignon Blanc. In each episode of "How Do We Deal: Coping with the Confounding," they attempt to make sense of simply existing in the world today, at the nexus of massive conundrums (from the rise of fascism, to deeply rooted racism to the mental health to climate change crises) and everyday responsibilities and challenges (maintaining faith in humanity while in rush hour traffic with kids, for example).  Sometimes talking it all through is enough to help find some hope, calm, and clarity. With honesty and openness about their own experiences with everything from race and neurodivergence to parenting and balling, they want to share the conversation with you. The goal is simply to make each day a little better.

  1. 12/19/2025

    Holiday Confessions and a Look Back at 2025

    A new elf arrived in town (Dara caved), belief is on the line (is Santa real?), and there's a lot of decor that may not be necessary (why is Amber doing all this?). Join Dara and Amber as they reflect on holiday magic, madness, wonder, and consumerism, and look back at how we survived and even thrived in the insanity of 2025. Side notes: Amber apologizes for talking too much in this episode and will calm down in 2026. Dara is still developing her "No Social Media Until 18" group and will update us as campaign progress unfolds.  Thanks so, so much to all our listeners (Dealers) for coming along for the ride this year! Music by the talented Amanda Zorzi. Find her on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/4W7xuppzxE0ntRhDNncNtU

    34 min

  2. 11/21/2025

    No Room For Error

    Dara and Amber stumbled on a new theory: Everyone is going insane because there's no room for error in today's world. Get sick? You could go bankrupt. Kid won't go to bed? Experts say they're doomed to fail in life. Not on top of work emails? You're on thin ice with your boss. Amber points out that with neurodivergent kids, getting to a pricy therapy appointment on time can be almost impossible because the usual parenting strategies are useless. And in workplaces like Dara's, people's lives are on the line and a mistake could be deadly. No big deal! Listen in as they explore all the ways we need to give ourselves a break (or at least a little grace). Also: Maybe don't allow robots in your home (build a village to help carry the load instead).   Music by the talented Amanda Zorzi. Find her on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/4W7xuppzxE0ntRhDNncNtU

    42 min

  3. 11/21/2025

    No Social Media Until 18!

    Dara and Amber talk about their POVs and experiences related to protecting kids from social media, at least until they turn 18. Dara has started a local movement by forming an alliance of parents who are supporting each other in delaying social media. Amber talks about her own battle to secure her teen's phone and what she learned at a recent school seminar about how phones shape kids' and teens' daily existence. We don't put our kids in the ocean when there's a riptide, yet so many children experience the digital equivalent: algorhythms that pull kids into dangerous online waters. Listen in to hear how Dara and Amber are dealing with this issue, trying to stay sane while keeping their girls safe. Music by the talented Amanda Zorzi. Find her on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/4W7xuppzxE0ntRhDNncNtU

    36 min

  4. 09/15/2025

    Capturing Inspiration When It Calls Us

    Our world is more confounding than ever, but Dara and Amber are still finding ways to cope, and still laughing whenever possible. In this episode they discuss a recent revelation: that by heeding and not reflexively dismissing a sudden calling to pursue creative inspiration, they found solace, purpose, and a feeling of control in uncertain times. Hear how they listened to gut intuition, without a lick of experience or skill as a basis for their projects (typical!), and dove headfirst into gardening and painting, with shockingly good results. Maybe, just maybe, creativity provides pathways to dealing with these un-dealable times....and this very podcast just could be the ultimate proof of that. They hope that after listening, you'll let your creative spark shine, too. Music by the talented Amanda Zorzi. Find her on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/4W7xuppzxE0ntRhDNncNtU

    36 min

  5. 06/20/2025

    Peeking Through Death's Door

    As our country spirals deeper into chaos, Dara and Amber continue to cope with the confounding by finding new perspective. This time, they confront the certain yet mysterious fate we all face: death. Dara and Amber reflect on the tragic loss of their dear friend Monica (interviewed last season in her 9th year living with metastatic breast cancer), another friend's need for a life-saving kidney donation, their own experiences with the death of family members... plus black holes, weirdly dark things Dara's kids say, and how 90's fashion was the beginning of the end for our society.   Episode resources: - Kidney donation for Joshua Mason (O blood type donor needed): If you are at all interested or know someone who might be, call the Umass Medical Center Transplant team at 508-334-1269, option #4 (living donation), and indicate that you are calling on behalf of Joshua Mason. You can also reach out to Paula Chesley at PdChesley18@gmail.com with any questions.  - Theme music by Amanda Zorzi https://open.spotify.com/artist/4W7xuppzxE0ntRhDNncNtU?si=OFaXUyJgQKS91AkpC2YXLg

    38 min

  6. 04/15/2025

    Rising and Resilience in Boomer Town with Amber's Dad, Greg, PART 2

    This is Part 2 of Dara and Amber's sitdown with Amber's father, Greg. Born in 1949, he's an optimistic yet empathetic guy who reps the best qualities of the Baby Boomer generation. His story prompts us to examine how we choose to respond to change, opportunity, and loss. While Part 1 focused on Greg's early years (growing up, going to Vietnam with the Air Force, and using the GI bill to go to college), Part 2 focuses on loss. In 2019, he lost the amazing woman who his wife, the love of his life, and Amber's mom, Barbara. How do you go on when you lose the one person your whole world has revolved around for close to 50 years? It's almost impossible, but he has found a way to somehow go on. Thank you so much to Greg for sharing so openly about the ups and dows of your incredible life's journey! And thanks as always to Amanda Zorzi for our podcast's theme music. Find her on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/4W7xuppzxE0ntRhDNncNtU?si=wR-qK7dMTy26mS80KHHaBg

    36 min

  7. 04/15/2025

    Rising and Resilience in Boomer Town with Amber's Dad, Greg, PART 1

    How do you deal with change, and respond to difficulties and opportunities that emerge along the way? Dara and Amber sat down with Amber's Dad, Greg, to talk about it! In Part 1, we get his take on growing up poor in our Massachusetts hometown in the 50s, including his parents' unique union (urban astral-projecting atheist meets bible-thumping farm boy) and his time in the Air Force, with a tour in Vietnam.  Fun fact: He spent most of his childhood with broken front teeth due to lack of dental care, and you'll hear how a British doctor fixed his choppers on an airstrip in Da Nang with no pain meds! Boomers may get a bad rap but we think Greg exemplifies the best of this generation. We hope you agree that it's refreshing to hear the perspective of someone born in 1949 and who carries an appreciation and zest for life despite some hardships.  Don't miss your chance to learn from "The Smartest Man in America" (his ridiculous tagline within the family). Thanks as always to Amanda Zorzi for our podcast's theme music. Find her on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/4W7xuppzxE0ntRhDNncNtU?si=wR-qK7dMTy26mS80KHHaBg

    46 min

  8. 03/14/2025

    Childhood Independence with Lenore Skenazy

    As parents who often feel like they worry too much, or not enough, or have no idea what they're doing, Dara and Amber were thrillled to connect with the woman dubbed “America’s Worst Mom” only to flip it into a positive movement. Lenore Skenazy sure had a lot of deal with after unleashing a media firestorm with her 2008 column, “Why I Let My 9-Year-Old Ride the Subway Alone." But she didn't apologize or back down. Instead, Lenore has been tirelessly advocating for the common-sense notion that our kids are safer and smarter than our culture gives them credit for.  We talked to her about her journey as a parent, and how she so bravely swam against the current of parental anxiety, using research, data and her own experience to illuminate the dangers of keeping kids insulated from the world.  In 2018, she co-founded Let Grow, the nonprofit with a mission to give kids back the developmentally crucial independence that was deleted from childhood. She has lectured at corporations, conferences and schools across the country, and even the Bulgarian Happiness Festival. You may have seen her on The Today Show, The Daily Show, Dr. Phil, or her own reality show, World’s Worst Mom. Before all this, she was a reporter and columnist at The New York Daily News and New York Sun.  Lenore lives in New York City with her husband and beloved computer. Her sons are gainfully employed. EPISODE LINKS Thanks as always to Amanda Zorzi for our podcast's theme music. Find her on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/4W7xuppzxE0ntRhDNncNtU?si=wR-qK7dMTy26mS80KHHaBg Learn more about Let Grow: https://letgrow.org/ Read the column by Lenore that started it all: https://www.nysun.com/article/opinion-why-i-let-my-9-year-old-ride-subway-alone Get Lenore's book, Free-Range Kids: How Parents and Teachers Can Let Go and Let Grow: https://www.thriftbooks.com/w/free-range-kids-giving-our-children-the-freedom-we-had-without-going-nuts-with-worry_lenore-skenazy/291195/item/3850903/

    38 min
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Trailer

5
out of 5
20 Ratings

About

We're all struggling with the unbearable weight of issues that society just can't seem to solve—while paying endless bills, making infinity dinners, and replying to inane work emails. So how do we deal? With some colorful and transparent commentary from hosts Dara and Amber, and helpful insights from occasional guestsperts.​ Trump's second term has only made the theme more relevant since the podcast began. Friends of different backgrounds from the same Boston suburb, Dara and Amber inevitably dive deep into meaningful conversation, whether they're shooting around on the basketball court or sipping Sauvignon Blanc. In each episode of "How Do We Deal: Coping with the Confounding," they attempt to make sense of simply existing in the world today, at the nexus of massive conundrums (from the rise of fascism, to deeply rooted racism to the mental health to climate change crises) and everyday responsibilities and challenges (maintaining faith in humanity while in rush hour traffic with kids, for example).  Sometimes talking it all through is enough to help find some hope, calm, and clarity. With honesty and openness about their own experiences with everything from race and neurodivergence to parenting and balling, they want to share the conversation with you. The goal is simply to make each day a little better.

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