Going Deeper with Benjamin Leppier

Benjamin Leppier

Benjamin Leppier is the founder of Going deeper and is on a mission to equip, empower and support men and women, to let go of all things that don't serve them, become more loving husbands, wives, partners and  find more quality time with the kids, to get ahead in life, increase physical and emotional health, leading to more fulfilment and freedom in life.

  1. 15 SEP

    Bitesize: When Love Listens Book Launch - Sneaky Peaky

    When Love listens buy it now - http://bit.ly/4ptPpxm What if the breakdown in your marriage wasn’t the end—but the beginning of something deeper, stronger, and far more honest than anything you’ve had before? When Love Listens: The Marriage Book You Never Got (But Definitely Needed) is a lifeline for couples who are exhausted from trying, fed up with feeling unseen, and quietly terrified that their relationship is slipping through their fingers. This isn’t another surface-level self-help book full of vague advice and tidy clichés. This is the real thing—raw, compassionate, and relentlessly practical. Marriage coach Ben Leppier brings over a decade of in-the-trenches experience to this book. He’s worked with hundreds of couples and seen it all: the stonewalling, the sexless months (or years), the parenting battles, the resentment that builds like plaque in your emotional arteries. He’s sat with people in their ugliest moments—and helped them find the courage to love differently. This book is not about fixing your partner. It’s about understanding the patterns, pain points, and survival strategies that silently sabotage connection. It’s about learning the difference between listening to defend and listening to understand. It’s about responsibility—not as blame, but as power. It’s about growing up emotionally, without losing the messy, beautiful vulnerability that intimacy requires. You’ll find: Stories of real couples navigating real chaos—with honesty, heartbreak, and hope Tools to stop circular arguments and actually move forward Deep dives into the emotional dynamics underneath money fights, sexual disconnection, and parenting pressure Insight into identity, ego, childhood wounds, and how they show up in adult love A powerful section on the Enneagram to help you understand yourself—and your partner—like never beforeYou won’t find neat formulas or false promises. Instead, you’ll find clarity, courage, and a roadmap that helps you recover the love you thought was lost—and build something more meaningful in its place. Whether you’re the one doing all the emotional heavy lifting, or the one who’s finally ready to show up differently, When Love Listens meets you where you are and calls you forward. It’s a book that doesn’t sugar-coat the truth, but holds your hand through it. If you’re done with shallow fixes, and ready for deep repair—this is your book. Ben’s approach is deeply informed by the likes of Brene Brown, Richard Rohr, Byron Katie, and the Enneagram framework—but it’s not theoretical. It’s gritty, grounded, and forged in the crucible of real-life relationship struggle. He doesn’t write from an ivory tower; he writes as someone who’s made his own mistakes, learned the hard way, and walked the long road back to connection in his own marriage. When Love Listens isn’t just a book—it’s a mirror, a flashlight, and a map. A mirror to see your part more clearly, a flashlight to illuminate what’s really going on beneath the surface, and a map to help you move forward with intention and love. You’ll laugh, cry, feel seen—and, most importantly, start to believe that healing is possible. If you’ve ever sat across the room from someone you used to feel so close to and wondered, “How did we get here?”—this book will help you answer that. And if there’s still

    20 min
  2. 27 MAY

    Q&A with Ben: Stop the Madness - How Anger, Arguments, and Perfection Are Killing Connection

    Our Resources: My Website: https://www.thedamngoodlistener.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thedamngoodlistener/ Linkedin: benjaminleppier Links etc: Link for intelligent change https://www.intelligentchange.com/?rfsn=8339894.e05f4e7&utm_source=refersion&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=8339894.e05f4e7 Use discount code: DAMNGOODLISTENER for 10% discount If you enjoyed this episode why not buy Ben (or Kerry) a coffee, all donations, small or great, are gratefully received: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/headtohearttransform Todays Q&A Content: 1 - My husband constantly gets angry around the kids. I hate it and, honestly, it intimidates me. What can we do? Anger is really unpleasant to be around, it says a number of things I don't care about you only me It can feel threatening like you might be physically hurt When someone is angry at you, it's hard to see anything other than what they might do to you. Unless its your children, then you might determine, this is awful, what are they going to d to themselves, then we jump into the pain pit of 'I am a terrible parent' Well you are the kind of person listening to this so that helps The angry people who really need to hear this will not be seeking it because they don't even know they need it,m they haven't even woken up yet One thing for sure, is that there is always some untreated hurt underneath the anger You get what you need first Partner second - see them clearly before you can help them Kids 3rd There may be previous life events that they are still carrying from back in primary school they might be having a tough time at work and feeling like they aren't providing, if you haven't had sex in a while and haven't spoken about it, they might be feeling unattractive and distant from you physically. There are a multitude of reasons  2 - Every time I try to bring something up, it turns into an argument. How do we break that cycle? You're saying I need you to love me, he says I need you to love me, then you say No No NO, you aren't listening again you need to listen to me! Timing, timing, timing.  If he just walks in the door and barks at the kids - that is not the time to bark at him. I am not saying that his anger is acceptable, merely helping you find an effective time TO communicate with him So get the kids down to bed, let him know after dinner that you would really like to talk about X & Y for 30 minutes after the kids are down. If he is really not in a good place you either scrap it that night or tell him, do whatever you like to relax until I come down then we can talk. Know that whatever you say, he will have a counter argument and believe that what you have to say is unfair or unjust, he can't help it. You have a long way to go but this is a great start. In other words once you have told him what you want he will also want to tell you what he wants to change and that's alright. You do get to say - Can we talk about what you want tomorrow, if you are just not in that place.  As calmly as you can suggest checking in again same time next week to see how we're doing with it - this is an accountability issue as much as it is a behavioural issue 3 - I am afraid of my wife - she wants everything perfect all of the time and if I am not on point 100% of the time, then its hell https://www.enneagraminstitu

    34 min
  3. 15 MAY

    The Rites of Passage: a call to Manhood. Will you answer?

    To find out more go to: https://www.malesireland.ie/rites-2/ Content: Listen to the voices of men who stepped into the unknown as boys and emerged as men, grounded in their value and clear in their place in the world. Their stories are raw, real, and transformative. Is it time you answered the call? The Rites of Passage is being held in Ireland this year and we warmly invite you to follow the link and apply.  The next Rites of Passage event in the UK is being planned for 23rd - 27th July 2025. This is not about religion, but about spirituality.  About age-old traditions that guide men into manhood.  About coming to trust that there is something much greater at work in your life than you could ever imagine. Taking you sometimes OUT of your comfort zones, but more deeply back into your own life. You may find yourself mentally, intellectually, emotionally or spiritually challenged. This is part of the experience for some men: it may feel risky or uncomfortable; you may not always feel in control. Throughout the 5 days you will be held by an experienced team of male elders who have all previously undertaken the Rites themselves. As the Elders take you through the process of the Rites you will experience drumming, ritual, fire, silence, small groups, wilderness, solo-time, teaching... and more. Our Resources: My Website: https://www.damngoodlistener.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thedamngoodlistener/ Linkedin: benjaminleppier Link for intelligent change https://www.intelligentchange.com/?rfsn=8339894.e05f4e7&utm_source=refersion&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=8339894.e05f4e7 Use discount code: DAMNGOODLISTENER for 10% discount If you enjoyed this episode why not buy Ben (or Kerry) a coffee, all donations, small or great, are gratefully received: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/headtohearttransform

    46 min
  4. 7 MAY

    Beneath the Armor: Why Strong Men Are Failing at Love with James Ray

    James resources: Website: https://www.xcc.org.uk/ Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/james-ray-a6400b72/ In this episode we: Why the wilderness is good for men (and to be together as men) What masks and armour have we worn as men and why? What is Alpha male and how does it serve us? Fierce and tender 'all the time' [Last of the Mohicans] Responsibility (you are 100% responsible for your life) and balance (be aware of the extremes). Take responsibility for yourself. Take responsibility for what's next.  Mansplaining - Why do we do it and what the hell is it? Joining community - we have to bend and twist, but it will be a great good for us Our Resources: My Website: https://www.damngoodlistener.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thedamngoodlistener/ Linkedin: benjaminleppier Links etc Link for intelligent change https://www.intelligentchange.com/?rfsn=8339894.e05f4e7&utm_source=refersion&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=8339894.e05f4e7 Use discount code: DAMNGOODLISTENER for 10% discount If you enjoyed this episode why not buy Ben (or Kerry) a coffee, all donations, small or great, are gratefully received: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/headtohearttransform Tell us a bit about yourself What have men been lacking and what are they currently lacking? Alpha males - nature story Victimhood What do men say is missing in relationship? They really thought it was a trade, I do this for you and you do this for me. You look after the kids and the home and I go to work to earn the money and then when I get home I want good sex and time with my friends. Now in working relationships where both partners are working often fullt time, but she also has familial responsibility, things are wearing a bit thin What does strong look like? Emotionally strong, means you say sorry and mean it, admit and see when you are wrong, be willing to take responsibility or ownership when your partner screws up and don't hold it against her. Being able to hold a hard line with your kids when necessary and know when they want a tender touch Kerry says Daniel Day Lewis in Last of the Mohicans in the perfect male

    1 h

Acerca de

Benjamin Leppier is the founder of Going deeper and is on a mission to equip, empower and support men and women, to let go of all things that don't serve them, become more loving husbands, wives, partners and  find more quality time with the kids, to get ahead in life, increase physical and emotional health, leading to more fulfilment and freedom in life.