33 episodes

Many of us believe it’s always wrong, and bad for us, to hold a grudge. But what if our grudges, when handled correctly, can be positively good for us and for others? What if grudges are actually great — not a cause for guilt, but exactly what we need to lead a happier, safer, more fulfilled life? Join internationally bestselling crime writer and grudge-holder extraordinaire Sophie Hannah to find out all about the power of grudges to transform your life for the better and to make the world a more peaceful and compassionate place.

How To Hold A Grudge Sophie Hannah

    • Alternative Health
    • 4.8, 4 Ratings

Many of us believe it’s always wrong, and bad for us, to hold a grudge. But what if our grudges, when handled correctly, can be positively good for us and for others? What if grudges are actually great — not a cause for guilt, but exactly what we need to lead a happier, safer, more fulfilled life? Join internationally bestselling crime writer and grudge-holder extraordinaire Sophie Hannah to find out all about the power of grudges to transform your life for the better and to make the world a more peaceful and compassionate place.

    S3 Episode 10 - Dame Agatha's Grudges

    S3 Episode 10 - Dame Agatha's Grudges

    Sophie is joined by psychotherapist and fellow Agatha Christie superfan Helen Acton to discuss grudges — valid/reasonable and invalid/unreasonable — in the novels of Agatha Christie, the Queen of Crime. Also in this episode: the beauty of three-layered puzzle solutions, the Insufficient Poirot Content grudge some fans have about novels like Cat Among the Pigeons and After the Funeral, and Sophie reveals her grudge-related theory about why Murder on the Orient Express and And Then There Were None are Agatha's two most popular and beloved books.

    • 58 min
    S3 Episode 9b - The Cultural Artefact

    S3 Episode 9b - The Cultural Artefact

    Sophie is joined by award-winning, bestselling novelist Naomi Alderman for this special bonus episode. They discuss the popular misconceptions that give rise to that widespread phenomemon, the Misunderstanding-of-Loyalty Grudge, and what loyalty truly means in a grudge-holding context. Also in this episode: when couples separate and friends pick a grudge side, why it's always grudgeworthy to write insulting blog posts about your best friends, and a grudgey dilemma involving a potentially devastating but brilliant cultural artefact.

    • 1 hr 3 min
    S3 Episode 9 - Against My Better Grudgement

    S3 Episode 9 - Against My Better Grudgement

    Being judgemental is bad, we tend to think, but using our judgement is essential. So how do we distinguish between good judging and bad judging? Having a lower opinion of some people than others has to be okay, surely, even if one's aim and wish is to be all-forgiving and grudge-free. Sophie and Helen Acton discuss the ways in which our own ethics and opinions in relation to infidelity and meat-eating, among other things, can influence how lenient/empathetic we're able to be where those issues are involved.

    • 51 min
    S3 Episode 8 - The Newcomer

    S3 Episode 8 - The Newcomer

    There's always room for a newcomer — a new grudge type — in the Periodic Table of Grudge Categories. After a new TV crime drama attracts hundreds of comments that strike fear into Sophie's heart, she tries to find a name for this emerging grudge in order to classify it accurately. Also in this episode, Sophie plays a newly invented grudge game, Judge That Grudge, with poet Nic Aubury and psychotherapist Helen Acton. Grudge types receiving judgemental scrutiny include: people turning up on time instead of realising you'd love it if they were a bit late, and passive aggressive CC-ing of senior colleagues into work emails.

    • 45 min
    S3 Episode 7 - The Messenger

    S3 Episode 7 - The Messenger

    We all know messengers sometimes get shot. When is telling — passing on an unwelcome or upsetting message — grudgeworthy, and when is it worse to withhold or hide information in order to spare someone's feelings? If you know that a close friend's partner is cheating on them, should you tell them? Sophie and psychotherapist Helen Acton debate the moral ramifications of being the messenger, and discuss whether Sophie was right or wrong to say nothing about a vicious and vitriolic email she recently received from the angry mother of a teenage girl...

    • 46 min
    S3 Episode 6 - Grudges, Boundaries and The Manual

    S3 Episode 6 - Grudges, Boundaries and The Manual

    Sophie and Podcast Grudge-Poet Laureate Nic Aubury discuss those grudges that we might not need to hold if only we were better at creating and sticking to personal boundaries. If we're so busy people-pleasing that we allow ourselves to do things we hate in order to placate others, isn't that our fault rather than theirs? Also in this episode: what does American life coach Brooke Castillo have to say about boundaries and the 'manuals' we have in our minds for how other people should behave, and do Sophie and Nic agree with her?

    • 38 min

Customer Reviews

4.8 out of 5
4 Ratings

4 Ratings

KillerQueen789 ,

Delightfully enlightening and lightly cerebral.

I love the way SH unravels the entire concept of gruges from her own perspective, which is not “new age PC” but authentic and human. She then, in an effortlessly balanced way, addresses the POVs from which someone may look at SH’s analysis of her own grudge from their own, authentic and human perspective. SH does not try to justify her own actions and opinions as opposed to the unreasonable actions of others. There is no promotion divisiveness or appeal to self-righteousness. The goal seems to be almost a demonstration of an analytical process that can be applied to other much maligned “feelings”. Instead of allowing society’s norms to dictate how one should react to a slight, one is empowered to stay with the feeling and tune into its resonance with oneself. The fragmentation of disappointment and/or shame is sutured through the warming glow of self-trust and confidence that healthy boundaries. The types of boundaries that give us form, but are never dense enough to make us uncomfortably rigid or obscure the beauty of human interaction on all levels. Incredibly enjoyable podcast, now I shall go buy the book!

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