I AM MADELINE

marcia doherty AKA Madeline
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A performer (actress, singer), leader, mentor, & community volunteer with her hands on a number of projects, Madeline(now fully public as Marcia)is a joy to know. She loves gardening & The Sound of Music. Her friends describe her as "effervescent." She's one of more than 600,000 Canadians living with family of diseases twice as common as Multiple Sclerosis, little doctor education, strong correlation to viral infections, esp COVID-19. She & others face painful deadly deterioration without more government supports. Petition https://bit.ly/Marcia_petition GoFundMe https://gofund.me/6d981312

  1. Aug 7

    medical instruction REST

    it won't let me post all of what I posted in the GoFundMe update so here's that link if you want to read the rest ( https://gofund.me/6d981312 ) I'm hanging in best I can. But I'm definitely burnt out between fighting for minimal supports and doing larger advocacy. Medically advised to take a break in August. Although it's a little more like medically demanded truthfully. Hard to step back from advocacy what with staying alive on a gofundme. But current GoFundMe money does last until the first week of November so I'm going to follow medical orders as best I can. (I've been chewing on doing an op-ed about advocacy which makes it hard to step back from advocacy LOL. It doesn't have a place to be published yet so I know I shouldn't put too much brain power to it. but I so want to offload what I wish I knew 30 years ago so others could have it) Needless to say It's going to be hard for me to be a good girl and not do advocacy in August. I've been pressurized and focused for so long. But I keep reminding myself for the first time in 18 months I'm not month to month survival. I have until the first week in november. And that's only thanks to recent gofundme donations. Thank you thank you! Since I agreed to rest I keep having to remind myself I have almost 3 months. Still far closer to the line of catastrophic health failure than I would like which is why it's hard to step back from the advocacy even for a month. But one medical provider rebutted me by saying think of how much better you'll be able to communicate if you've had some proper rest. And the brain fog has been quite profound so that's probably true But I am still having to fight for simple supports. There I don't get to rest. The mobility scooter is coming toward end of life. As is my back brace. Both are going to be quite the long battle. As per usual. The day back brace falling apart in particular has become a pain catastrophe. Apparently without it I am attempting to hold up my very hypermobile lower back with my intestines, According to my physio. Which explains what's been happening with my digestive system. Being hypermobile is weird. The body attempts to accommodate and manage in the strangest ways I think the stress of all of that plus getting my apartment in order because of an imminent suite incursion cuz they're supposed to be changing out the lights plus still needing to get the bad air of the downstairs duct work venting into mine dealt with plus the mast cell activation getting progressively worse worse is still more than I have in me. All of those kinds of things have had and have a me in such a pressurized state that I'm in a bad mood. And that's not really like me. I'm finding everything annoying. And when I say bad mood I mean BAD MOOD So feel free to remind me I'm supposed to be resting in August lol. Severe me day is August 8th. And I have to say that having severe ME(although I'd prefer to call it stage 3 ME), which for me is being patchwork held sort of kind help together and alive on minimal supports knowing that the minute I stop them the catastrophic failure will precipitate the worst kind of suffering and then of course death. there's a brutality to that reality that I never get to look away from. It never gets less scary. And I think being so outside my energy envelope there is an element of progressively compromising my psychological and emotional wellness. I think that's why I'm feeling so bad tempered. I think it's the emotional equivalent of when I scream myself upright because the back pain is so bad. The crankiness is a different kind of distress klaxon wail barbecue. And that's medically approved because it's good for me emotionally. So we'll see how I fare with that. Here are some photos from some other bouquets I made this summer (for the podcast I'll do it as the icon)

    medical instruction REST

  2. Jul 25

    ADVOCACY

    where I talk about layers and kinds of advocacy from medical to bureaucratic to systemic. personal advocacy and larger disability and disease advocacy. And also different kinds of advocacy and what I have learned from other kinds of advocacy in regards to my advocacy

  3. Jul 18

    Music Magic

    alive in the field episode from the music festival I've been talking about. I did manage to make it well hopefully I can do the whole thing. at least I'm here mid-afternoon on Saturday so I will enjoy what I can. But melancholy does tend to intrude. And I talk about what that's like. How the intensity and severity of difficulty of what I'm going through intrudes on even magical moments and events like this

    Music Magic

  4. Jul 14

    I'm scared

    where I talk about an aha moment around why not being able to pull my brain together as I describe in the previous episode freaked me out so much. Because if I can't be eloquent then that will be a death sentence for me. I can't be a magical TED talk If and when the government speaks to me if and when any journalists speak to me then I have no shot at all of survival

  5. Jul 14

    blArgh

    The perils of tired brain and trying to be at magical Ted talk in a volunteer situation(see my project hail Mary episode). le sigh

  6. Jul 11

    my Project Hail Mary

    where I talk about my lived experience life and death against seeming insurmountable odds resonance with the movie Project Hail Mary some of the things I referenced today are the latest GoFundMe update https://gofund.me/6d981312 and THE DOCUMENT https://docs.google.com/document/d/19W73z4kQrQydqGEkndAyF87t33BBpFXHnEwNVxc75b4/edit?usp=drivesdk

  7. Jul 3

    DOCUMENT done! woohoo

    finally! The document is done. sent to ministers and ministries here in BC and to the same media we sent the press release for the petition presentation. obviously it was sent along with the petition with his 1,451 signatures and various supporting documents. I also posted THE DOCUMENT online so everyone could have access to it especially if I don't survive https://docs.google.com/document/d/19W73z4kQrQydqGEkndAyF87t33BBpFXHnEwNVxc75b4/edit?usp=drivesdk

  8. Jun 20

    *the DOCUMENT*

    In the home stretch on this document to go with the petitions to the BC ministers of health, social development of poverty reduction and finance as well as the premier's office But boy is it taking everything out of me. hopefully I can get somebody to do one last look over before I send it. I'm crossing my fingers that's before Wednesday. Cuz I really needed to get sent off. GoFundMe money only for sure loss until mid-July and it's already mid June I also talk about housekeeping, the The ongoing problem with the downstairs ductwork venting into my apartment, and ongoing problems with management in my BC housing building So I'm documenting the process of making the document lol. Especially with everything else that's going on. I really do feel like garbage today after spending so long working on it. NOTE; please forgive the background hum. That's the air conditioner with fans and air purifiers going. I would normally turn some of those off but the downstairs stink keeps messing with the air conditioner's ability to do its job especially cuz I kept having to leave the kitchen and bathroom fans on and then regularly open the balcony door and turn The aircon off. So I hope that's okay. I didn't think it would be quite so loud but then I haven't had the aircon and the fans on at the same time when I did an episode. blArgh

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About

A performer (actress, singer), leader, mentor, & community volunteer with her hands on a number of projects, Madeline(now fully public as Marcia)is a joy to know. She loves gardening & The Sound of Music. Her friends describe her as "effervescent." She's one of more than 600,000 Canadians living with family of diseases twice as common as Multiple Sclerosis, little doctor education, strong correlation to viral infections, esp COVID-19. She & others face painful deadly deterioration without more government supports. Petition https://bit.ly/Marcia_petition GoFundMe https://gofund.me/6d981312

Information

  • Creator
    marcia doherty AKA Madeline
  • Years Active
    2021 - 2026
  • Episodes
    158
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © marcia doherty AKA Madeline
  • Show Website
    I AM MADELINE