The Luella Jonk Show

Dr. Luella Jonk, PhD
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From the therapy room of a registered psychotherapist, dating coach and solopreneur who has tirelessly attempted a 'healthy' work-life balance for 25 years, it rarely existed for me and likely does not for most business owners, entrepreneurs and executives. The truth is relationships can really suffer. I will be interviewing expert guests who are doing things right so we can all learn to mix business with pleasure. Topics will range from building better relationships, connection, dating, and how to spread more kindness and compassion towards others while doing so. Listeners, you have the right to have passion surrounding your work while maintaining passionate relationships. You can have your cake and eat it too. New episodes premiere every Tuesday.

  1. Episode #97: Hannah Spier on Why Feminism Taught Women to Resent Men in Marriage

    3D AGO

    Episode #97: Hannah Spier on Why Feminism Taught Women to Resent Men in Marriage

    In this second conversation with Norwegian psychiatrist Hannah Spier, we're diving into territory that most clinicians won't touch: the rise of personality disorders among women, the feminization of therapy that's made gatekeeping impossible, and why credentials alone won't fix what's broken in mental health care. Hannah doesn't hold back. After years treating patients in outpatient psychiatry, she's watched the diagnostic manual get diluted, differential diagnosis disappear, and an entire generation of women get labeled with disorders they wear like badges of honor. I'll walk you through: ✅ Why Cluster B personality disorders (borderline, narcissism, histrionic, antisocial) are rising—and what's fueling them ✅ How low agreeableness and high neuroticism create the "weaponized emotionality" we see everywhere now ✅ Why the self-esteem movement of the 90s and participation trophies set us up for narcissistic traits ✅ The feminization of therapy—why 85% female therapists means no incentive to gatekeep diagnoses ✅ How secondary gains (attention, accommodation, identity, redemption arcs) keep people sick ✅ Why feminism has trained women to overemphasize their own suffering and contributions in marriage ✅ The difference between relational aggression (women) and outward aggression (men)—and why both are equally destructive Whether you're a woman who's been called "too much," a therapist struggling with what you're being taught to validate, or someone watching workplace bullying and campus protests wondering what's happening to our culture—Hannah offers the kind of clinically-grounded, fearless perspective that's nearly extinct today. 🔔 Remember: Not every struggle is a diagnosis. And a diagnosis you've incorporated into your identity can never be treated. Real compassion doesn't remove truth—it holds both. Connect with Hannah Spier: 📰 Substack: https://substack.com/@psychobabblewithspier 📷 Instagram: @psychobabblewithspier Recommended Videos from Hannah: ▶️ How Dark Traits Express Themselves in Women — https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4YOmG62tyl0 ▶️ Why Women Get Away With Narcissism (3 Patterns You'll Recognize) — https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXCRI6u1bl8 ▶️ Still Selling Feminism: Our Response to Diary of a CEO — https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vIys5zTk-xs

    55 min
  2. Episode #96: Why I'm Calling Out Chatelaine - The Dangerous Truth About Weight and Responsibility

    APR 7

    Episode #96: Why I'm Calling Out Chatelaine - The Dangerous Truth About Weight and Responsibility

    In this episode, I share my reflections after listening to a recent Chatelaine podcast on weight, identity, and responsibility. This is an important and, at times, uncomfortable conversation. As a therapist, I work with women every day who feel exhausted, disconnected from their bodies, and unsure of what is actually within their control. While modern culture often emphasizes external factors such as media influence, hormones, and environment, we risk removing something essential in the process, personal responsibility. At the same time, I want to be clear that this conversation does not apply to individuals facing legitimate medical or hormonal conditions that significantly affect weight regulation. Those situations are real and deserve proper care and attention. What I explore in this episode is something different: the everyday patterns I see in my practice, where chronic stress, lifestyle habits, and disconnection from the body quietly shape a woman’s health. True compassion does not remove truth. It holds both. This episode is an invitation to reflect, not react, and to consider where responsibility can become a source of empowerment rather than shame. 🎧 Listen to the Chatelaine podcast episode discussed here: Chatelaine's Group Chat Podcast: Listen here

    36 min
  3. Episode #95: Kate Christie - She Bought a Palazzo in Sicily—Here's Why Every Woman Should Have a Life List

    MAR 31

    Episode #95: Kate Christie - She Bought a Palazzo in Sicily—Here's Why Every Woman Should Have a Life List

    In this episode, I'm sitting down with Kate Christie—Australia's top time management expert and the woman who bought a palazzo in Sicily as her midlife manifesto. After losing her ex-husband to pancreatic cancer while raising three teenagers solo, Kate discovered that waiting for "someday" is the biggest trap we fall into. She created what she calls a Life List—not a bucket list for when you're old, but a guide for living audaciously right now. I'll walk you through: ✅ Why tragedy taught Kate that "later might be too late" and how it transformed her entire approach to time ✅ The "24 out the door" parenting philosophy that empowers adult children to thrive independently ✅ How to break down audacious goals into 90-second moments of action ✅ Why empty nesting should be celebrated, not mourned—and what that says about healthy relationships ✅ The three types of Life List goals: Go Big (palazzo dreams), Go Small (daily joy), and Go Now (spontaneity) Whether you're stuck in survival mode, convinced you need to wait until retirement to live your dreams, or struggling to prioritize yourself after years of giving to everyone else, this conversation offers the framework and permission you need to start living now. Sometimes the path to fulfillment isn't through more planning—it's through taking that first brave step. 🔔 Remember: This isn't about abandoning responsibility or being selfish—it's about recognizing that you've earned your turn. Life is precious, and the relationships we build with our children, partners, and ourselves are strongest when we model what it means to live intentionally. Connect with Kate Christie: Website: www.katechristie.com.au Instagram: @katechristieloves Facebook: Kate Christie LinkedIn: Kate Christie Email: kc@katechristie.com.au Kate's Book: The Life List: Master Every Moment and Live an Audacious Life

    1 hr
  4. Episode #94: The Defensiveness You Feel in an Argument? Here's What It's Really Telling You.

    MAR 24

    Episode #94: The Defensiveness You Feel in an Argument? Here's What It's Really Telling You.

    There's a version of conviction that looks a lot like control. And most of us have been living there without realizing it. This week I'm coming to you solo — and honestly, a little vulnerably — because something came up in my own Faith Formation group that I wasn't expecting. I got defensive. I got reactive. And somewhere in the middle of trying to defend the faith I love, I stopped actually living it. So let's talk about that. I'll walk you through: ✅ Why defensiveness is one of the most honest signals you'll ever get — if you know how to read it ✅ The difference between standing in truth and standing in your wound ✅ What St. Joseph shows us about how to hold your convictions without becoming loud, harsh, or reactive ✅ Why correcting the people you love the most is probably making things worse — not better ✅ The moment a client told me she just wanted her husband to understand her — and what she actually meant ✅ Why truth never panics — and what it means for the way you show up in conflict ✅ What living your faith quietly actually looks like — because it's not silence and it's not a doormat Whether it's your marriage, your kids, your politics, or your faith — most of us are trying to force what only presence and consistency can build. We explain more. We get louder. We leave the book on the bedside table and wonder why nothing changes. St. Joseph never argued. He never convinced anyone of anything. He just lived it — steadily, faithfully, quietly. And it was enough. It can be enough for us too. 🔔 Remember: Truth doesn't panic. It doesn't need to win. It was here before the argument started — and it'll be here long after it ends. Connect with Luella: 🙏 Faith Formation Group — reach out to join! Message me through @luellajonk on IG. 💑 Ongoing Conjugal Love Course — now with monthly additions!

    46 min
  5. Episode #93: Ester Munt-Brooks on Why Loving Well Is the Hardest — and Only — Thing That Brings You Peace

    MAR 17

    Episode #93: Ester Munt-Brooks on Why Loving Well Is the Hardest — and Only — Thing That Brings You Peace

    In this episode, Catholic educator Ester Munt-Brooks returns for a deeply honest conversation about what it really means to love — not as a feeling, but as a decision. From her years as a free-spirited musician in Spain who wanted nothing to do with commitment, to becoming a daily communicant, devoted wife, and mother of three, Ester unpacks what shifted — and why it took so long to look in the right place. We'll walk you through: ✅ Why the women you're comparing yourself to might actually be leading you away from peace ✅ What St. Thomas Aquinas can teach us about emotions, free will, and why love is never "just a feeling" ✅ How staying home with her children felt both wrong to her intellect and completely right in her heart — at the same time ✅ Why putting your children first might quietly be destroying your marriage ✅ The small, unsexy acts of love that bring warm feelings back when they've gone cold ✅ Why original sin was — at its root — a trust problem. And why yours probably is too ✅ What it means to be both a strong woman and a receptive one — and why you don't have to choose Whether you're a high-achieving woman who's starting to feel the weight of all that striving, a wife who has slowly drifted from her husband somewhere between school drop-offs and career deadlines, or someone who has always kept faith at arm's length — Ester speaks your language. Because she used to speak it too. 🔔 Remember: Peace is not the absence of chaos. It's the sign that you're finally loving in the right direction. Connect with Ester Munt-Brooks: 🌐 Website: https://fevaloryalegria.org 📱 Instagram: @faithwithjoytalks

    1h 4m
  6. Episode #92: Hannah Spier: Depression Is Your Body Speaking. Are You Listening?

    MAR 10

    Episode #92: Hannah Spier: Depression Is Your Body Speaking. Are You Listening?

    In this eye-opening episode, Norwegian psychiatrist Hannah Spier joins us from Zurich to share what she discovered after years of treating anxious, depressed women in outpatient clinics — and why she ultimately walked away from a high-flying career to become a stay-at-home mother of three. Hannah is the voice behind Psychobabble with Spier, where she analyzes the psychological patterns in our culture that quietly incentivize dysfunction. What started as a conversation about her clinical work turned into something far more personal — and far more powerful. I'll walk you through: ✅ Why so many women in their 30s are flooding therapists' offices — and why it's not a psychological problem ✅ How modern therapy (including CBT) has drifted toward endless validation instead of real behavioral change ✅ The moment Hannah realized she was on the same path as her most struggling patients ✅ What happened when she put her daughter in daycare at 7 months — and what it cost her family ✅ Why she calls feminism "an ideology of resentment" — and how she broke free from it ✅ The surprising statistics on Norwegian mothers extending maternity leave at their own expense ✅ How Cluster B personality disorders are rising — and what's fueling them Whether you're a woman questioning whether your career ambitions are truly yours, a therapist wondering if your sessions are actually helping, or someone who senses that our culture's prescription for female fulfillment just isn't working — Hannah offers the kind of honest, medically-grounded perspective that is rarely heard today. 🔔 Remember: Anxiety and depression are often your body speaking to you. The solution isn't always found on the therapy couch — sometimes, it's found in how you're choosing to live. ======================================================== Hannah's relevant links: Substack (Psychobabble with Spier): https://substack.com/@psychobabblewithspier?r=1rqrel&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=profile&shareImageVariant=image Instagram: @psychobabblewithspier — https://www.instagram.com/psychobabblewithspier/ ======================================================== 🎥 Noteworthy Videos from Hannah — Recommended Watching: ▶️ How Dark Traits Express Themselves in Women — https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4YOmG62tyl0 ▶️ Why Women Get Away With Narcissism (3 Patterns You'll Recognize) — https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXCRI6u1bl8 ▶️ Still Selling Feminism: Our Response to Diary of a CEO — https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vIys5zTk-xs

    57 min
  7. Episode #91: Fr. Joseph de Viveiros on Why Lent Should Humble You, Not Make You Proud

    MAR 3

    Episode #91: Fr. Joseph de Viveiros on Why Lent Should Humble You, Not Make You Proud

    In this episode, I sit down with Father Joseph de Viveiros, a priest of the Congregation of the Resurrection and chaplain for the Nipissing-Parry Sound Catholic District School Board. Father brings decades of pastoral experience—from directing liturgy for World Youth Day 2002 with John Paul II to now caring for his 94-year-old mother with dementia—and his insights on Lent cut straight through the surface-level stuff we've been getting wrong for years. I'll walk you through: ✅ Why Lent is about transformation, not willpower—and why the palms that become ashes hold the secret ✅ The two types of fasting nobody talks about—and why one of them you should never stop doing after Easter ✅ Why giving up chocolate is fine—but only if you're filling that emptiness with what actually matters ✅ How fasting from evil (gossip, harsh words, judgment) is the real fast God wants from us ✅ Why Pope Francis is calling us to "disarm our language" this Lent—and what that looks like in practice ✅ The difference between suffering we create and suffering that just comes our way—and how both can be redemptive ✅ Why showing up matters more than you think—and what Father's 94-year-old mother taught him about presence ✅ How we've become isolated in a hyperconnected world—and why getting to Mass is about becoming who you were made to be Whether you're trying to figure out what to give up for Lent, struggling with discipline in a world of endless comfort, or wondering why showing up to church even matters anymore, Father Joseph offers wisdom that's grounded in real life, real suffering, and real transformation. This isn't about perfection. It's about conversion. 🔔 Remember: Fasting from things that are good creates space for God. But fasting from evil? That's the fast you keep forever. ======================================================== Fr. Joseph de Viveiros's relevant links: Instagram: @fr.josephcr Location: North Bay, ON Canada

    51 min
  8. Episode #90: Discipline Gave Me Freedom. And It Can Give You Yours Too.

    FEB 24

    Episode #90: Discipline Gave Me Freedom. And It Can Give You Yours Too.

    Today it's just me. And I'm angry. I wasn't supposed to record a solo episode today. I had two guest interviews scheduled. But ten minutes before we were supposed to go live, one of them canceled. "Not feeling well." At 2 p.m. their time. And here's the thing—I have empathy. Life happens. But this isn't just about today. This is about what I see everywhere: a catastrophic lack of discipline. A refusal to honor commitments. An entire generation that wakes up asking, "How do I feel today?" instead of "What did I commit to today?" I'll walk you through: ✅ Why your morning routine reveals everything about the rest of your life ✅ The difference between emotional connection and "emotional safety"—and why one of those terms is destroying your relationships ✅ How Instagram reels are scattering your thoughts like a snow globe—and why that's the same pattern I see in trauma survivors ✅ Why your feelings should never drive your behavior (and what should instead) ✅ The one thing I'm doing for Lent that will change everything—and why you should too ✅ How discipline gives you freedom (yes, really) ✅ Why farmers don't quit when the weather's bad—and what that has to do with your marriage Whether you're tired of breaking your own commitments, exhausted from letting your emotions run your life, or drowning in the noise of conflicting advice on social media, this episode is a wake-up call. Discipline isn't punishment. It's structure. It's freedom. It's the difference between drifting and living intentionally. 🔔 Remember: God gave us free will—the most beautiful gift. That means you have a choice every single day. To love is a decision. To forgive is a decision. To show up and do the hard things is a decision. Park your feelings aside and do what you committed to do.

    42 min
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About

From the therapy room of a registered psychotherapist, dating coach and solopreneur who has tirelessly attempted a 'healthy' work-life balance for 25 years, it rarely existed for me and likely does not for most business owners, entrepreneurs and executives. The truth is relationships can really suffer. I will be interviewing expert guests who are doing things right so we can all learn to mix business with pleasure. Topics will range from building better relationships, connection, dating, and how to spread more kindness and compassion towards others while doing so. Listeners, you have the right to have passion surrounding your work while maintaining passionate relationships. You can have your cake and eat it too. New episodes premiere every Tuesday.

Information

  • Creator
    Dr. Luella Jonk, PhD
  • Years Active
    2021 - 2026
  • Episodes
    228
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2025
  • Show Website
    The Luella Jonk Show

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