Wonder In The Weeds

Cristie Ritz-King
  • 5.0 (4)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Weekly

"Wonder in the Weeds" with trauma therapist Cristie Ritz-King. This is the show where we talk about how to live, love, and grow right alongside grief, change, and the "wild messiness of this human life". Moving beyond the role of the "blank slate" therapist , Cristie combines her professional experience with her personal stories of challenge and reinvention. We're not about toxic positivity or influencer-style advice. Instead, this is a space for authentic connection, community , and understanding that we don't have to wait for life to be perfect to feel good. Each week, we'll talk about: Finding "wonder" even when you feel like you're "walking through the weeds". Navigating personal change, from parenting to finding your authentic self. The "Weeds of the Week," where we discuss everything from small daily annoyances to the big things that bother us. Sharing stories to feel less alone in our experiences. Join us to get through the weeds together. Let's connect: ➡️ Website: https://thewonder.life/ ➡️Join Our community: https://wonder.myflodesk.com/womenofwonder critzking.substack.com

  1. What Is Explicit Parenting? A 4-Pillar Framework for Raising Good Humans

    3d ago

    What Is Explicit Parenting? A 4-Pillar Framework for Raising Good Humans

    I keep referencing “explicit parenting” on the show, so this week I finally explain what I mean. It started with a little book I wrote over a decade ago, Explicit Parenting: Tips from the Trenches for Raising Good and Happy Humans. It pulled together everything I know as a teacher, doula, childbirth educator, and trauma therapist, plus what I’ve lived as a wife and mom. Over the years it turned into a framework I use for parenting, relationships, and honestly just living. The name throws people off (yes, “explicit” gets funny reactions online), but the idea is simple: say the thing. Don’t make your kids, or anyone, guess at your meaning. The less we leave for interpretation, the better off we are. Kids who aren’t given the explanation will fill in the blanks themselves, and they usually fill them in with “I must be the problem.” We don’t want that. In this episode I walk through the four pillars: * Tuning In. Know yourself first. Your triggers, your strengths, your expectations, your attachment style. None of the rest works without this. * Know Your Relationships. Get clear on your expectations and boundaries, and focus on the relationship you want long-term, not just the milestones. Come back to the relationship. * Lead With Curiosity, Not Judgment. Swap “they always do this” for “I wonder why they’re doing this.” Kids rarely mean to hurt you as much as we assume. * Consistency and Persistence. The hardest one, and the easiest once the first three are solid. Show up the same way, and when you mess up, repair it. The glue holding it all together is grace, for yourself and everyone else. And if you’re worried about whether you’re doing this parenting thing right, that worry is the proof you’re already doing a great job. Timestamps0:09 Why this episode1:08 The little book that started it4:03 Where “explicit” comes from5:55 Just say it: don’t make kids interpret8:20 The four pillars9:08 Pillar 1: Tuning In10:13 Pillar 2: Know Your Relationships15:47 Pillar 3: Curiosity over judgment20:00 Pillar 4: Consistency and persistence23:04 Grace as the glue24:57 If you worry about it, you’re already doing great26:45 Outro Reflection posts and show musings drop on Substack twice a week. Join the paid Women of Wonder community for Monday discussion prompts and monthly live calls. Join here: https://thewonder.life/show/ Get full access to Cristie Ritz-King, PsyD at critzking.substack.com/subscribe

    28 min
  2. Curiosity Is a Privilege | Why We Stopped Asking Questions

    Jun 17

    Curiosity Is a Privilege | Why We Stopped Asking Questions

    What happens to a country when curiosity disappears? I’m by myself on the couch this week, sitting with something that’s been frustrating me lately: how little curiosity and nuance there seems to be in the world right now. Everywhere I look there’s an extreme view on one side, an extreme view on the other, and almost nothing in between. We assume the other person is evil or dumb instead of stopping to ask whether they’re just working with different information. So I put on my trauma therapist hat. My theory is that curiosity is a privilege of safety. When you’re stuck in survival mode, your nervous system doesn’t leave space for questions, nuance, or seeing the gray. After years of chaos and a global pandemic, a lot of us are still living in that defensive posture even when the danger has passed. In this episode I get into the ICE detention protests, why the angriest voices are always the loudest, why you’re probably aiming your anger at the wrong person, and the small things we can actually do to feel safe enough to get curious again. Plus my reading recommendation this week: Your Heart Was Made for This by Oren Jay Sofer. Turn off your phone, get out into the world, talk to real people, and stay curious. Resources mentioned * Your Heart Was Made for This: Contemplative Practices for Meeting a World in Crisis with Courage, Integrity, and Love by Oren Jay Sofer * Say What You Mean by Oren Jay Sofer * Women of Wonder community on Substack: https://thewonder.life/wow/ Find more over on Substack, including the Women of Wonder community: https://thewonder.life/wow/ Get full access to Cristie Ritz-King, PsyD at critzking.substack.com/subscribe

    31 min
  3. Nobody Prepares You for This Part of Empty Nesting

    Jun 10

    Nobody Prepares You for This Part of Empty Nesting

    This Week’s Weeds: There’s No Buffering Yourself From Empty Nest Grief I’m flying solo this week (Z is off chasing the theater dream; she’ll be back), and it’s fitting because this episode is about exactly that: my kids not being here. Here’s the thing I got wrong about empty nesting. I thought the women who struggled were the ones who’d lost themselves in motherhood. I made sure that wasn’t me: I wrote, taught, got certified in yoga and meditation, and earned a master’s and a doctorate while raising three kids. I judged the sad empty nesters (bratty of me, I know) and assumed I’d be fine. I wasn’t prepared anyway. What I’m grieving isn’t the chaos of little kids (I genuinely don’t miss that). It’s the clearly defined role. The bowling banquets, the snack shop, the PTA, knowing exactly what my job was. For 22 years, everything I pursued fit into the spaces around parenting. Now there’s just space. And no instructions. Add a move to Minnesota where I literally GPS my way home, and you get the moment a friend asked me “so what are you up to now?” and I had no answer. In this episode: * The empty-nest myth I believed (and why preparing didn’t protect me) * Six months of “dogged pursuit of connections”: pickleball leagues, golf trips, and volunteering, and why I’m exhausted anyway * The golf weekend that woke up my inner junior-high girl: alone on the first floor while everyone else roomed upstairs * Why old triggers roar back when you’re worn down, and what they’re pointing to * Reaching back for “Cristie Ritz-King”: the girl who pitched on the softball team and tried out for field hockey having never played. She’s still in there. * Being a “freshman in adulthood”: not retirement, not young parenthood, just new * My honest wrestle with whether talking about empty nesting is “enough” when the world is on fire, and why I’m sticking with the personal This Week’s Wonder Change is a gift. I have the time and space to choose who I become next (questions that weren’t even an option when I was in survival mode). And the internet, for all its junk, is full of genuinely rich, nuanced, fact-based creators helping us learn and grow. That’s wonder, too. Watching / Listening: * 🎬 The Four Seasons (Netflix): Season 2 opens on the Jersey Shore and made me openly weep with homesickness * 🎙️ If Books Could Kill: The palate cleanser I need from political podcasts * 🎵 My “Cristie Ritz-King” playlist: Queen Latifah, The Cure, Public Enemy, REM, U2. My daughter’s friend thinks I’m hip. I’m just 17 at heart. If something here resonated, I’d love a review, a share, or a hello. And remember: keep looking for the wonder in the weeds. The sun will come up tomorrow. Get full access to Cristie Ritz-King, PsyD at critzking.substack.com/subscribe

    47 min
  4. Raising Kids Who Actually Like You as Adults

    Jun 3

    Raising Kids Who Actually Like You as Adults

    Welcome to another episode of Wonder in the Weeds! This week it was just me. No Gen Z counterpart in the chair, though I promise we talked about her plenty. I just got back from five days on the road. I drove two of my three adult kids out to Colorado to see family, called the third one from the car so it would feel complete, and somewhere along those thirteen hours I realized this is exactly the relationship I always hoped I’d have with them. So this one is more wonder than weeds. It’s about what it actually feels like to parent your kids once they’re grown, the relationship you can build on purpose, and a little hope for anyone still in the thick of it. So grab a warm drink, get comfortable, and tune in. Key Topics We Discuss * The Sitting on the Beach Question: The one thing I ask every parent I work with, picturing the adult relationship you want years before it arrives. * Friend vs. Mom: Why I hesitate to call my kids my friends, and the kind of teasing and honesty that only works because the love underneath it is clear. * It Wasn’t an Accident (But It Wasn’t All Me): How intentional choices shaped these relationships, and how much my kids shaped each other in ways I never saw coming. * The Humbling Conversations: What I learned hearing my kids describe the same memories completely differently than I remember them. * Finding Your Identity in the Empty Nest: Figuring out who I am now that showing up for them isn’t my full-time job. Episode Chapters * Welcome to the Episode * A Bag Full of Good Intentions * The Relationship I Always Wanted * The Sitting on the Beach Moment * Still the Mom, and Also Just a Guest * The First Time They Get Sick Away From Home * Drop-Off Day: Two Kids, Two Very Different Stories * Grace, Humility, and a Little Hope * The Wonder: A Big Old World Out There Resources Mentioned * The Frozen River by Ariel Lawhon — dense, not a quick read, but a rich story about a midwife in the late 1700s and a whole lot of early women’s rights. I almost gave up on it and ended up really glad I didn’t. * Noah Kahan — still on the album, still not sorry about it. A lot of this trip was scored by him. Leave a comment below and tell me what kind of relationship you’re hoping to build with your kids, or what you’re reading, watching, and listening to right now. I’m in a serious rut and I need the help. Keep looking for the wonder in the weeds, and until next time, take care of yourself. Get full access to Cristie Ritz-King, PsyD at critzking.substack.com/subscribe

    32 min
  5. Gen X vs. Gen Z on Finances: Budgeting, Taxes, and Breaking the Taboo

    May 27

    Gen X vs. Gen Z on Finances: Budgeting, Taxes, and Breaking the Taboo

    Welcome to another episode of the XYZ Podcast! This week, I sat down with my daughter and Gen Z co-host, Faith, to talk about financial literacy from our two very different generational perspectives. It feels like everything is incredibly expensive all the time lately. We decided to sit down and discuss the stark differences in how we learned about personal finance, credit cards, and staying afloat. From my memories of surviving on tight paychecks to Faith navigating her gig income and dealing with tax season surprises, we are covering the realities of personal wealth without the shame. Plus, if you are one of our New Jersey listeners dealing with those wild temperature swings, grab a warm drink, get comfortable, and tune in. Key Topics We Discuss * The Generational Wealth Gap: Exploring the differences between entering the workforce as a Gen X graduate versus a Gen Z adult in today’s gig economy. * Overcoming Financial Taboos: Why talking openly about your income with friends is an act of rebellion that builds stronger relationships. * Budgeting Without the Guilt: Finding a system that works for your brain, whether that is a complex spreadsheet or a simple notebook and pen. * Comparison Culture: How the internet makes us feel like everyone else has their finances figured out, and why that is usually a carefully curated illusion. * Tax Season Lessons: The importance of understanding your pay stubs and what to look for before tax day arrives. Episode Chapters * Welcome to the Episode * Learning Financial Literacy: Self-Taught vs. School * Credit Cards, Debt, and Gen Z Fears * Managing Irregular Income as a Creative * Social Media and the Trap of Comparing Finances * Taxes, W-2s, and Understanding Your Paycheck * Why Simple Notebook Budgets Work * Breaking the Taboo: Talking About Your Income Resources Mentioned * Faith’s current playlist favorites: “Click Clack Symphony” and “Where Is My Husband?” by Raye. Leave a comment below and tell us about your own financial wins or struggles. Remember, you will always think of something! Get full access to Cristie Ritz-King, PsyD at critzking.substack.com/subscribe

    1 hr
  6. What No One Tells You About Sending Your Kid to College (From Both Sides)

    Apr 29

    What No One Tells You About Sending Your Kid to College (From Both Sides)

    Nearly a year after sending my daughter Faith off to college, we're finally sitting down to talk about what that transition really looked like — the messy, uncomfortable, growth-filled truth of it. In this episode, Faith and I dig into what we're calling the "weeds of the week": growing pains. From both sides — me as a mom and a parenting professional, and Faith as the one who actually lived through it. We cover: - Why I drove six hours alone on Labor Day weekend — and why I'd do it again - The isolation Faith felt as an out-of-state acting major navigating COVID anxiety on a relaxed-policy campus - How that one visit helped her claim the campus as *her* place, not just a place she was surviving - The sophomore housing decision I disagreed with (and never said "I told you so" about — until she figured it out herself) - Why setting honest, low expectations for freshman year might be the best thing I did - The car breakdown that proved Faith could handle real life without us - Why parents who tailgate are actually doing their kids a favor (you're welcome) - My one parenting tip: **ask questions instead of giving answers** — it's how you help them see without telling them what to see Wonders this week: - Family group chats — from Bruce Springsteen to March Madness, our core five is just *good* - The Artemis 2 mission — I cannot talk about it without tearing up Read/Watch/Listen: - 📚 *Husbands and Lovers* by Beatrice Williams — a dual-timeline novel that doesn't feel fluffy - 🎧 *Good Hang* with Amy Poehler — women my age being delightful - 📚 *Sea of Tranquility* by Emily St. John Mandel — time travel you don't see coming (Faith) - 🎧 Olivia Rodrigo's back catalog — Faith's deep dive ahead of the new album **Moving to Substack!** Come find us there for community, full episodes, and everything in between. If you're on YouTube, subscribe. If you're on a podcast app, we'd love a review — it helps us reach more ears. Until next time — take care of yourself, and keep looking for the wonder. Get full access to Cristie Ritz-King, PsyD at critzking.substack.com/subscribe

    47 min
  7. The AI Therapy Trap: Why ChatGPT Cannot Replace Real Therapists

    Apr 22

    The AI Therapy Trap: Why ChatGPT Cannot Replace Real Therapists

    Are tech companies paying therapists to train their automated replacements? In this episode of Wonder and the Weeds, I expose the troubling reality of artificial intelligence infiltrating the mental health space. From electronic health records pushing AI note-taking to the alarming rise of social media self-diagnosis, I examine why human connection cannot be automated. Discover the critical difference between true therapeutic pattern recognition and the echo chamber of chatbot advice. I also discuss how normal trauma responses are frequently mislabeled as major personality disorders online. In this episode, I cover: The AI Replacement Threat: Why tech companies are recruiting therapists to train language models.Privacy Concerns in Therapy: The risks of using AI software for patient notes and sensitive data.The TikTok Diagnosis Epidemic: Why you should stop letting the internet convince you that you have ADD, bipolar disorder, or narcissistic traits.Trauma vs. Red Flags: How to tell the difference between a trauma response and an actual toxic situation.My Weekly Recommendations: I share my current favorites, including a review of Abby Jimenez's book The Night We Met, the movie Is This Thing On, and live music highlights from Bruce Springsteen. Connect with the Community: If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a review and subscribe on YouTube or your favorite podcast app. Join the Women of Wonder community and get full episodes delivered straight to your inbox by subscribing to my new Substack! Get full access to Cristie Ritz-King, PsyD at critzking.substack.com/subscribe

    40 min
  8. The Unapologetic Woman: Dating, Boundaries, and Unlearning Conditioning

    Apr 15

    The Unapologetic Woman: Dating, Boundaries, and Unlearning Conditioning

    In this episode of Wonder in the Weeds, I sit down with my daughter, Faith, to talk about the realities of being a woman in the world today. As a therapist and a mother, I started noticing the deep societal conditioning that taught me to constantly read a room and accommodate others to keep the peace. I brought Faith on the show to get her take on this as a 23-year-old navigating the dating world. We discuss the pressure to fit a specific mold and what happens when you decide to show up as an unapologetic, confident woman. We also explore the struggle to set boundaries without feeling like you are failing, and we take time to rethink what feminism actually means across different generations. In this episode, we discuss: * My realization about accommodating men to keep the peace. * Why taking up space and dominating a conversation can make people uncomfortable. * Setting boundaries and refusing to engage in toxic arguments. * Faith's experience with dating and the societal pressure to find a steady partner. * Our weekly media recommendations, including the books, shows, and music we are loving right now. Connect with Us: * Follow Kristy on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drcritzking/ * Follow Faith on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/queenofkings912/ * Join our community on Substack: Wonder in the Weeds If you enjoyed this conversation, please like, subscribe, and leave a comment below! Get full access to Cristie Ritz-King, PsyD at critzking.substack.com/subscribe

    51 min
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5
out of 5
4 Ratings

About

"Wonder in the Weeds" with trauma therapist Cristie Ritz-King. This is the show where we talk about how to live, love, and grow right alongside grief, change, and the "wild messiness of this human life". Moving beyond the role of the "blank slate" therapist , Cristie combines her professional experience with her personal stories of challenge and reinvention. We're not about toxic positivity or influencer-style advice. Instead, this is a space for authentic connection, community , and understanding that we don't have to wait for life to be perfect to feel good. Each week, we'll talk about: Finding "wonder" even when you feel like you're "walking through the weeds". Navigating personal change, from parenting to finding your authentic self. The "Weeds of the Week," where we discuss everything from small daily annoyances to the big things that bother us. Sharing stories to feel less alone in our experiences. Join us to get through the weeds together. Let's connect: ➡️ Website: https://thewonder.life/ ➡️Join Our community: https://wonder.myflodesk.com/womenofwonder critzking.substack.com

Information

  • Creator
    Cristie Ritz-King
  • Years Active
    2023 - 2026
  • Episodes
    93
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Cristie Ritz-King
  • Show Website
    Wonder In The Weeds

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