Bloodsucking Feminists Bloodsucking Feminists

The last time we dipped into the science fiction end of vampirism, it was humans using science as a response to vampirism in Ultraviolet. Now it’s the vampire’s turn, using technology to shape the world around them as half the day proves lethal and humanity’s numbers dwindle.

Okay, so it does kind of devolve into standard action movie at the end, and it certainly could do better with its female characters and characters of colour, and it most definitely would have made a better TV show than a movie. But it’s a movie that got us thinking about the implications of such a world, the consequences of vampire domination, and the way people might cling to and yet deny their past humanity.

Also it has evil corporate vampire Sam Neill, which is more than enough to save it from being another movie about a vampire named Edward.

Some things we have liked. Some things we didn’t. And some things were Eclipse.

But behold, the movie that feels like it was made for us, a high-brow Cannes award winner that just gets us.

Sure, there’s awkward sex, awkward men, awkward ghosts, awkward ghost men interrupting awkward sex, but we’ve also got religion, power within families, moral quandaries, a dude drinking from another dude’s IV, women finding power, and (of course) vampires.

(Just not the pus we were promised in last month’s starred review.)

Sometimes there is such a thing worse than being bad: it’s being nothing. And in this case, taking some interesting ideas and squandering them. Yes, we totally noticed you dropped that plotline there, move.

Take BBC’s adaptation of Dracula back in 2006. Raiding the BBC period costume closet may seem like a good idea, but looking at a text and thinking, “You know what this needs? More men whining about their genitals” is most certainly not. And an even worse idea: make the whole thing boring.

Oh, and don’t google syphilis.

Behold, the Id of the great director Quentin Tarantino – there’s more feet than you can shake a stake at! Also boobs, discussion of toxic masculinity, feet, boobs, the monstrous feminine, two plots smushed together, feet, some more tits, discussion of sexual violence and the men who perpetrate it, the lack of development of female characters, and breasts. And feet.

We had some issues with recording, so apologise in advance for the sound quality.

Full title: Total Eclipse of the Plot, Characterisation, World-Building, and Everything That Isn’t Bella and Edward

Or, in short: Fuck. This. Book.

 

For further Quileute reading:

Home



http://www.burkemuseum.org/static/truth_vs_twilight/

Home



Home





http://www.hcn.org/issues/44.11/the-quileute-reservation-copes-with-tourists-brought-by-twilight

Let’s be real for a moment: you’re only here because Idris Elba is in it, aren’t you? Well regardless we’re glad you’ve tuned into Ultraviolet, a six episode BBC series from the 90s with a very scientific and police procedural approach to vampires. Think The Bill with vampires. And that guy from the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. But a thousand times more bleak than you’d expect, tackling vampiric takes on environmentalism, abortion, and paedophilia.

(Plus it proves once again that you can’t just be in one vampire film or TV show – be prepared for a Stephen Moyer with his original accent, not a forced Southern one. So when’s our next Idris Elba vampire story, guys?)