Anxiety to Confidence - The Personal Development Unplugged Podcast

Paul Clough
  • 5.0 (8)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Weekly

A podcast for those wanting personal development but want it made simple and easy to understand and more importantly use, take action and make a difference to your life and the world you live in. If you want to change the way you feel and the way you act and react. If you have negative emotions, behaviours, that you want to lose forever and create something special in your life then I think you will like what you hear. This genre of self-improvement, self-development and mastery of your mind has, I believe, been made over complicated and secretive and here I am de-constructing the processes into their simple forms that we can all understand and easily use. There's no interviews just little ol' me ;0) Who am I and what do I do?………Paul Clough. I now love helping making changes in people and guiding them to create the life they really want. A personal look at me: The above sentence was not always the case and being the best in the financial realms of the building industry was my aim and getting there by any means. I now know this is, and was, the worst way ~ even if I did make director of one of the largest building companies in Cambridge by the age of 30. One of the major realisations came on my first ever training in hypnosis. I found that it's not a win lose world and that a win win is only a low basis to live. Being true to your beliefs and coming from a place of integrity where service is paramount. This understanding together with lots of NLP skills helped create my last partnership in the building industry grow from a turnover of £800k to £16m in less than twelve years and that can only be done with giving more than expected. Another shaping of me came from two traumatic events in my life that happened within six months of each other which created a number of major changes in me and by beliefs in what is possible. I have written about my experience and how I dealt with it but more importantly it really showed me my love for my three boys and theirs for me and resulted in the step up to become a trainer of NLP (which I never intended) and my close and exciting work with two of my sons. In supporting Joseph and help create change in people in our training's and his wonderful life changing 'Be your potential weekend' and with Luke the continuing development of Cambridge Hypnotherapy and Hypnosis processes. My relationship with my third son Daniel just keeps getting better and better too. Not knowing how good I had become in change work in the beginning I generally studied, practiced and saw clients then things started to happen when I started to work following just my instincts. Two clients come to mind both in effect dying from the effects of what was happening to them and the way they felt and within one and two sessions respectively not only won the will to live they changed virtually in front of my eyes and being apart of that process was and is the best feeling alive. The above are just three of many brilliant learnings I have had in my life. The more formal bit Paul Clough I am a Trainer and Master Practitioner of NLP and Hypnosis and am passionate in assisting those who want to reach their full potential and his special skills form a unique foundation for success. I constantly seek and develop new skills and learning's – through advanced levels of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), Time Line Therapy ™, Hypnosis and to improve everyone I work with. I have an understanding of the mind/body connection which enables me to create in my clients the difference that makes the difference ~ from excellence to outstanding. For those that want qualifications: Certified Trainer and Consultant of Neuro-Linguistic Programming Certified Master Practitioner of NLP & Time Line Therapy Certified Master Hypnotist and Hypnotherapist

  1. 3d ago

    #487 Why Goals Stopped Working Foe Me

    Why Goals Stopped Working For Me — And What I Discovered Instead I've spent years setting goals, teaching goal setting and helping people turn dreams and desires into something they could actually achieve. And goals are bloody useful. They give us motivation, direction and something to move towards. But I eventually noticed something: sometimes you reach the goal and still think, "Is that it?" That was the clue for me. I realised I had been asking goals to give me things they were never designed to provide — meaning, purpose, direction, peace and a sense of belonging. So perhaps goals aren't the problem. Perhaps we're expecting too much from them. In this deeper dive I explore what happened when I started looking beyond goals and towards my own North Star — not as a destination, but as a direction for how I want to live and experience my life. There's also a simple reflective process to help you explore a goal you've already achieved and discover what you were really hoping it would give you. Because maybe life isn't about reaching the right destination. Maybe it's about learning how you want to travel. And, as I'm discovering for myself, that might be much closer to enjoying every heartbeat. In this episode Why goals are brilliant servants but terrible masters. What can happen when achieving a goal still leaves you asking, "Is this it?" The difference between achievement and meaningful experience. Why my North Star is becoming more about direction than destination. A simple process for discovering what you're really looking for through your goals. How goals, dreams and desires can become experiences rather than just milestones. If you've ever achieved something you thought would make you happy, only to find yourself wondering "What's next?", this one's worth a listen. And if you agree, please share the hell out of it with everyone you know :o) https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/487-why-goals-stopped-working-for-me and if you want to see me recording this in an unplugged way https://youtu.be/DAJM7ROz8vk Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here. Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com. Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast. Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page. Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall. And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism       So, the longer deeper dive. Why goals stop working for me? Well no, actually, what I discovered instead.   Because this isn't an episode about goals. It's changed. It's changed in a way that it's more about, I don't know, meaning.   There's more meaning to our lives than the structure of goals. And that's what it's all about. You see, there's something that goals can, will, never give us.   If you remember from the five minute quickie, you did watch or listen to the five that precedes this. I said, and I think it was sort of profound, what if the reason you keep setting goals isn't because you need another goal, but because you're looking for something goals can never, or were never designed to do for you. Yeah.   Now, here's the thing, you're probably thinking, probably thinking, is this guy against goals then? Because what is personal development if it doesn't have an element of it as goal setting, goal achieving, having aims, desires, dreams. And yeah, goals are wonderful. Why are they wonderful? Well, they give you an aim in mind.   What are promises? What do goals promise you? In your head, with that intention of that goal, they give you an outcome, motivation. And this is what I found in my life, is by having goals, they have sometimes, quite often, unexpected items. Because between you and I, you are not intelligent enough, brainy enough to know exactly what you want.   And by the way, nor am I. But when you start working towards a goal, a dream, a desire, something you want, you have that wonderful intention, you have that motivation, you have that feeling inside. Sometimes we just attract or find new doors, new opportunities that just like synchronicity, come along. In fact, when I first started training in NLP, I wanted to do NLP.   And I went to see this guy and he said, no, you can't do NLP. First of all, you have to do hypnosis. I didn't want to do hypnosis, that's not part of my goal.   I want to do NLP to be really, really good at business. But when I got into hypnosis, man, changed my life 26 years ago. And counting, maybe 26 and a half now.   And I love it. It was never on my radar. It was not on the horizon.   It was, it wasn't to be seen. It helped me build businesses, not just the business I wanted to use NLP things for, but the goals helped me build businesses for NLP trainings, hypnosis clinics, doing coaching sessions, going around different countries and training people in trauma therapy. Man, if it didn't have a goal for one of those, and the options and the synchronicity, I wouldn't have done any of that.   Goals have helped me learn, I've learned so much. Because you don't realize when you have a goal, what you are going to learn, the experiences you have, the things you're going to take with you into the next one. It's that skill stacking, isn't it? And there's also that bit when you're down, when you're in a bad time, like I was.   If I didn't have a goal, certainly a goal to get out of it. But also mini goals within that period to help me find a way out, give me the leg up, give me the hand holes to climb out of that hole. I'd still be there now.   Or maybe not even be here in this planet Earth. So they really help you overcome difficult periods in your life. So when you think about it, goals are brilliant servants.   That's what they are. They're brilliant servants. But there's a but, and they don't normally use buts, but they are.   But they are terrible masters. And that's what you've got to think of. Servants, don't let them master your life, because that's what I discovered instead.   So the title says goals stopped working for me, they didn't. But I did discover something even deeper beyond goals. You see, sometimes when I've set goals in the past, and it does happen quite a bit sometimes, I hear that small voice.   That small voice which says, is that it? Set the goal, I've done the work, come out at that end, the ending of the goal. And even if the words didn't come as words, that's the feeling I got. Is this it? Is that all there is? Think about that.   Maybe you can think of examples in your life. You know, even think of the little goals like buyer's remorse. We've all had buying something we've wanted for ages.   And when we got it, is that it? When we've got promoted in that job, we've strived and strived and strived, striven. Is this all there is? Maybe you think, when I lose weight, I'm gonna have all that confidence. Do you? Sometimes, when you finish a project, and I've had this, there's a lot of my goals were projects.   And it's that strange emptiness. You know, it's now what? Because the chase has ended, hasn't it? The chase has ended. But the thing is, again, I've had some good goals, by the way.   And I still have that feeling sometimes, is that it? Unless I've, I realised it's a progression. The goal is not necessarily the singular destination. But the thing is, I discovered this.   I'd been asking the goals, the goals in my life to do a job they were never designed to do. So what am I really asking them? You see, a little bit of vulnerability here. I want to say just lately, but it's been a good six, nine months, even.   I think I started this additional work on myself, call it additional, but new work on myself. Because things were changing in my life. Different structures, we've talked about structures and freedom and all this stuff, all come through this path I'm beginning to tread.   And I've been seeing my life changing. And they're changing as if there's no goals. But there's, even there was a few goals.   I was just trying too hard. And things weren't gelling for me. You know, the now what? Is this all there is? So instead of asking those goals to do a job for me, maybe I was looking for something different.   And this is what I was looking for. And you might get this. What I was really asking was to find purpose, to find direction, to find meaning, peace.   That was a big one. And belonging. Because things changing in your lives, these things allow you to bring things together.   You see, goals can can produce achievements. But they can't produce things on their own. It co

  2. Aug 7

    FMQ 538 Why Goals Stopped Working For Me

    Why Goals Stopped Working For Me We all need goals. They give us direction, motivation and something to aim for. I've spent years teaching goal setting, visualisation, Timeline Therapy and even a little Law of Attraction. Goals work... but I discovered they weren't the whole story. A while ago something felt off. I was achieving what I'd set out to do, yet there was still a quiet feeling that something was missing. It wasn't about fear of failure or limiting beliefs. It was something much deeper. In this Five Minute Quickie I share the beginning of that discovery and ask a question that completely changed the way I now think about success and fulfilment. What if you don't need another goal? What if you're asking goals to give you something they were never designed to provide? In the next longer episode I'll share what I discovered, how it changed my direction, and why it became such an important part of my own personal development journey. If you've ever reached a goal and still wondered, "Is this really it?" then this episode is for you. In this episode you'll discover: Why achieving goals doesn't always create fulfilment. The hidden feeling many people experience after reaching success. The question that changed my thinking. Why the deeper answer isn't another goal. A preview of the next Deep Dive episode. Subscribe so you don't miss the next episode where we'll explore what I found instead. And share with a friend or two so they don't miss out too: https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-538-why-goals-stopped-working-for-me And if you want to see me recording this https://youtu.be/wMVSjF8Hthk Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here. Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com. Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast. Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page. Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall. And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism FMQ Why Goals Stopped Working For Me I want to share something personal with you. A little while ago, a little while ago, something felt off. Something just didn't feel right in my life.   The thing is, what I'm trying to say is, I want to rewind that slightly because we all need goals in our life, don't we? Aims, desires, even dreams. We need them all, don't we? And don't get me wrong, this is not a goal setting workshop or anything like that at all. You see, for years, I used to have loads of goals, dreams, visualisations, you name it, I had them.   I even taught goal setting. I taught putting goals in the future. I did it with my clients.   Timeline therapy. I even did a little bit of the law of attraction because they're all intertwined, aren't they? And they do all have a purpose, but, and it's the but, I felt something was missing. You know, getting goals helped me.   Yeah, yeah, they did. They helped motivate me. They felt good for a time.   But after a while, say a little while ago, I wasn't truly fulfilled. You know, getting the goals is one thing, but it just didn't, well, I don't, it just didn't make me feel right. There was something missing.   I didn't know what it was. Well, not then. Does that resonate with you a little bit? Can you remember? Well, I'll explain the feeling I had.   And maybe you, it'll resonate with you. Maybe you can remember the type of feelings that you've had. I just felt hollow inside.   Yeah, I was pleased with what I was doing. But again, it was just there was something maybe out of reach. Something, you know, I said unfulfilling, but I could look back over my life and say, Yeah, you've had a fulfilling life, Cloughie.   Yeah, there's ups and downs and some big downs. And yes, big ups. But really, I couldn't put my hand on it.   I couldn't grasp what was missing. Not then. Sometimes by the vision I was looking through my eyes in internally, I guess, was a bit blurred.   Because I couldn't quite see the direction I wanted to go in. Something was missing. It really was.   Now, I know, sometimes we can put that to things like fear of success, fear of failure. You've even got things like, I'm not good enough, all those limiting beliefs, you know, I shouldn't be here. What if they find me out? And we can deal with those.   And we will deal with those. You see, there are things that prevent us having goals, getting our dreams, getting that getting our desires. And I've got 60 plus hypnosis tracks for you completely free.   Well, complimentary is a better way of saying it. Just go to paulcluffonline.com forward slash podcast and have what you like. And if there's anything that you require help in, in achieving your goals, or something is stopping you and you want to let go of the block, you get in touch with me.   Feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com and we'll sort out things for you. That's my email address, by the way. Just let me know.   But that's not what I'm talking about, really, because we can get the goals, but I was getting my goals. But that unfulfilled feeling. It's a little bit like getting somewhere and going, is that it? Is that all there is? And even started affecting me in looking at my life.   Is that all there is here? And what's next? Because I can keep doing the same thing over again, but will it change this feeling? And you see that even affects our beliefs, isn't it? We've got those limiting beliefs, even on those goals. But you know, that unfulfilled feeling begins to give you limiting beliefs. And a bit like, is that all there is? What's is it worth it? And then about yourself? Maybe I'm not good enough.   Maybe I'll just get it wrong. Maybe I'm a failure. And then the values that we hold so dearly sometimes start to get just rocked a little bit.   And that ultimately affects our identity, the identity that we we believe we have. But, and this is the but, so that was pretty down. But this is the but.   What if? What that lovely question? What if? What if the reason you keep setting goals isn't because you need another goal? Oh, that's different, isn't it? I'll say that again. With that wonderful question. What if the reason you keep setting goals isn't because you need another goal? But because you're looking for something goals were never designed to do? Have a think about that for the moment.   I'm going to give you a little bit of time to think about it anyway. Because on the deeper dive, the next episode, I'll tell you what I discovered instead, because I found the answer. And I'll take you through my personal journey, my adventure of of what happened.   And I'll share with you, hopefully the things that get you thinking that, yeah, I can have that too. That resonates with me. I'll come along with Cloughie.   Because this is a personal sharing. And I hope you hope it helps. Because you know, I want to support you in your dreams, your goals, your desires.   And all the things that maybe stop you getting them and all that. The process is stuff. But there's also the deeper thing, the deeper thing that I discovered.   I think it'll make a huge difference. So do press that subscribe button, follow button. So when then it'll be next week, the next episode, when the next episode, the deeper dive, the hashtag, deeper dive comes along, it'll come on your listening device, just like that, without you thinking.   And then we can have a wonderful conversation together. Because this is what these are all about now, having a conversation and sharing of things I've learned along the way. And hopefully, it'll save you having to go through what I've gone through.   So I'll see you next time on the deeper dive, or just have a think. I'll just repeat that question one more time. What if the reason you keep setting goals isn't because you need another goal? It's because you're looking for something goals were never designed to do.   That's deep, isn't it? Have a good think of that. And I'll see you next time. Bye bye.   Time to fly my friend. Enjoy every heartbeat.  Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited   Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

  3. Jul 31

    #486 I'm Still Finding My Way

    I'm Still Finding My Way – Why You Don't Need Your Old Self Back Have you ever caught yourself saying, "I just want the old me back"? I know I have. I've heard it from hundreds of clients too. It sounds comforting because we believe our old self represents certainty, confidence and stability. But what if that's not really what we're looking for? In this deeper dive I explore an idea that completely changed the way I see personal development. Instead of chasing an old version of ourselves—or even trying to discover some perfect "real me"—perhaps we're simply finding our way. Because your way changes as you change. I'll share part of my own journey through depression, identity and the work I've been doing around my North Star. Together we'll explore why identity isn't somewhere you arrive, but something that keeps unfolding, and I'll guide you through a simple reflective process to help you reconnect with the qualities that have always been part of you. If you've ever felt lost, uncertain or caught between who you were and who you're becoming, I hope this episode helps you realise that maybe you haven't lost your way at all. In this episode you'll discover: Why wanting your "old self" back may be keeping you stuck. The difference between identity and the qualities that never leave you. A simple "Museum of Selves" exercise to reflect on every version of your life. Why your future isn't about becoming someone different, but continuing to unfold. Practical journal questions to help you take your next small step. Remember... You're not going backwards. You're still finding your way. And your way changes as you change. If this episode resonates, please share it with someone who needs to hear it: https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/486-im-still-finding-my-way/ and if you'd like me to explore a particular challenge, email me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. Oh! And there's a video of me recording this. It's rough and ready because that's all it needs to be https://youtu.be/hWcLgtawcp0 Until next time... Have more fun than you can stand. Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here. Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com. Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast. Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page. Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall. And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism     So the longer podcast, we're back again for the deeper dive, the deeper dive. And if you listen to the FMQ, the seed of this longer podcast, I hope you did listen. It was, I would just want my old self back.   But I thought to myself, that's not really the thing. The more I thought about what we're going to be talking about, I got a different idea. You see, it's more about finding my way, finding your way, and why you don't want your old self back.   Now that's a completely counterintuitive, turn it on its head spin, isn't it? Think about this. Have you ever caught yourself saying something like this? I just want the old me back. I know I have.   I've heard it hundreds of times from virtually every one of my clients. We go through the problem, I said, what do you want? And instead of I want more confidence, I want this. I just want my old me back.   And that's been a generalisation. But since ever, I've been working with clients, seems to be the goal that some want. And I don't think you do though.   I really don't think you do. You see, I thought that's what I wanted. I really did.   And guess what? It wasn't at all. That's not what I wanted. I realised something completely different.   You see, I think there are three identifying, or not, say it again, Paul, three identities that we have. And they're usually, I say that word again, too, usually edited, they're filtered, filtered for all the good bits. Oh, it was so good back then.   You know, they're usually romanticised and very often, totally incomplete. If you're thinking about this, you know, the real self, what do you think these deeper values might be? The real you, the real self, what are your deeper values? Because these are the qualities that remain. They're constant.   You see, for me, there's a mixture. Could be curiosity, being curious of what I want, what's available, how I find it. There's kindness.   Talked so much about kindness. Creativity. You know, really getting into those creative juices.   And you don't have to be an artist. You don't have to be a writer. It's just creatively thinking about you, the world, and other people.   There's humour. Some people don't get mine, but I've got a bit of humour. But there's humour.   And there's love. Soppy. But there's love.   Love for life. Love for your friends, your family, and love for you. And those qualities I was thinking was, you know, they all survive.   They survive things like depression. They survive things like change. And changes can be weird, can't it? You see, this is all about, not the old you, but the emerging you.   The emerging self. But it's the emerging you. It's the person you're becoming.   You're not finishing. You're not getting to a point and then starting again. No, it's not fixed.   It's fluid. It's always evolving. Yeah, you get that? And to me, this is where I got this from, because it was all from my personal North Star work that I've been working on over the last, I don't know, six months, maybe a year.   But it's certainly the six months and I'm going to go through that in different podcasts. These are the type of values I've been looking for behind that romanticised old me. Now, here's the thing.   Forget the old romanticised old self, because you don't need it. You don't want it. Yes, I do, Cluffy.   I do. No. This is what I think you want.   You want to have a confidence and a competence, you know, in a feeling of, I can do this. And you know, you're right. You're not overconfident.   You want certainty. Everybody wants a little bit of certainty. And it's difficult in this ever changing world, but have some certainty about yourself.   You want a bit of energy. And above all, we always want, and your unconscious mind wants it for you, safety. Yeah.   And we always, when I say romanticise, we always associate with that period in the past, different things, not those. Or maybe we just, you know, take the good bits out. Now, let me tell you a story.   True story. My story. A long time ago, I was in a very deep black hole.   Emotionally, very broken. I had brief thoughts of, you know, do I really want to be on this little old planet earth anymore? No, only brief, but it was that low. I never realised you could get that low.   I've talked about it before. I'd worked with people who went to the bottom of the barrel, because I always used to think you have to get to the bottom of the barrel before you start changing. But this was something affecting me in my life.   And suddenly, everything had disappeared on me. And I was trying everything. I was being my own therapist, going through every blooming thing I could think of, because all I was looking for was the old Paul.   The old Paul. I was desperate to find the old me. And then I had this little breakthrough.   I didn't want the old Paul back. I really didn't. Because it didn't fit.   The old Paul was part of that old problem. I was part of the choosing of creating that black hole. I was part of that depression.   I was part of that breakdown. And even chasing that real me. You know, I wanted the real me, the real me.   And that became another destination. Oh, who's the real me? I was chasing and chasing now another, say, another direction, another destination. Another identity, as it were.   Then I came to another aha moment. And what it was, and it's so simple. I'm just still finding my way.   That's all it is. I'm finding my way. And my way changes as I change.   That's it. Let's just think about that again. You're still finding your way.   And your way, whatever that is, changes as you change. Oh, and that was really powerful to me. Really was.   You see, there's so many different changes, isn't there? There's the teenage self, the young parent that I was, there was my career dreaming self. I got pretty successful at one particular career. Well, I think I've been pretty successful at different changing careers, but I was successful in myself, I thought.   But then I'd lost myself. Can you appreciate each one? Could you learn from each one? You see, let's think. Just

  4. Jul 24

    FMQ537 I Want The Old Me Back

    I Want My Old Me Back Have you ever caught yourself thinking, "I just want the old me back"? It's something I've heard from clients for years. It's something I said to myself too. But what if that's not what you really want? What if the old you was part of the struggle... and what you're really looking for is the real you? In this Five Minute Quickie, I share a personal insight that changed how I think about personal growth, identity and lasting change. The next deeper dive explores why you don't need to become your old self again—you simply need to keep finding your way. In this episode you'll discover: Why so many people long for their "old self" The surprising problem with trying to go backwards A simple mindset shift that brings hope and stability Why your path naturally changes as you change A preview of the deeper hypnosis episode to come If you're feeling lost, stuck or disconnected from yourself, this episode is a gentle reminder that you're not broken—you may simply be becoming. Remember to share what you hear: https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-537-i-want-my-old-me-back/ and there's a video of me doing the recording https://youtu.be/L7S0uAc9bRU Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here. Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com. Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast. Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page. Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall. And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Hey my friend, back for a five minute quickie, the seed of something I think you're going to find interesting, but I also think is so important in this adventure of personal development, your personal development, you're creating the best version of you. You see, this is what I've been thinking of. When we're suffering, when we're suffering issues, you know, anxiety, fear, depression, loneliness, anything you can think of, you know, self-sabotage, procrastination, you know, that every blooming OCD, anything you can think of, you fill in the blank.   When it hits us to get out, we're looking for certainty, I guess. Everyone needs certainty. We need certainty and uncertainty.   But in that realm, we want certainty, stability. You know, I'm not going mad. I want to find a way out.   I certainly want to find a way out. You know, something I can hold on to, to lead me out. And I think that here's something that I experienced so often.   When I work with clients, we talk about their issues. And I talk about what you want. And you might think they want, well, you know, I'm so anxious, depressed.   I want happiness. I want fulfillment. I want this.   And they do. But then they really just go, do you not pull? I just want my old self back. The old me, you know, because that's stability, isn't it? The old me, the old me that I can remember.   You see, I don't know. That old me is something that you can remember with fondness, maybe. And we're going to talk about that in a longer podcast somewhere else.   Why the disconnection? Maybe even on this longer, deeper dive, following this FMQ. But you see, another thing, a personal thing. In my life's adventure, way back over there, I was in a big black hole.   And it was big and it was deep. And I was at the bottom of it. And I was doing all sorts of things to get myself out.   Because I knew a lot of different things. I was becoming my own therapist, day in, day out. It was literally day in, day out.   And what I used to say to people, I just want my old self back. The old Paul. If only I had the old Paul, I'd be okay.   And you see, during that time, I had a lot of help. Gave myself a lot of help. Looking for the old me.   So just like my clients. And then one day, one day, guess what? I had an aha moment. We have them occasionally, don't we? An aha moment.   I didn't want the old me. Why would I want that? I'd want the real me. Because the old me had, and was part of, those issues.   And the real me didn't. The thing is, I had something came about in my head. Because whilst that seemed to give me some stability to let go of that and look for this real me, I realised something that changed my thoughts.   This constant looking for this, to me, a new identity. Whatever that was, the real me. Well, it wasn't working.   And that's where the deep dive comes in, in the next longer podcast. You see, I think it's going to be really important when we go there. Because we'll discover something that will give you that certainty, will give you that stability, something to hold on to.   And give you something as a foundation to let go of things such as that fear, that anxiety, that depression, that loneliness, the old whatever, you fill in the blank. But on this lovely, I call it a lovely adventure. But sometimes it's, you know, adventures can be a little bit scary, can't they? I want to share with you one thing.   And I'd like you to think about it before the dive. And this one thing is, and it's like my second aha moment, when I've been sitting down with my puzzle book, and just thinking and trying to find a way, trying to find that certainty. I came up with this little sentence.   And it just makes me feel okay. And what I said was, I'm still finding my way. And my way changes as I change.   Say that again. I'm still finding my way. And my way changes as I change.   And that's where I think the direction of this podcast is going to go. It's how life changes as we change and how we can use these changes. And all the tools, I'm not forgetting all the tools, we're going to go through the tools, the things to help you get rid of anxiety, fear, depression, loneliness, all that stuff.   But realise we're finding our way. And when you're certain you're going to find your way, that's when, well, there you go. Come with me on the longer podcast, the next one to follow this.   I might still call it, I want my old me back. I might call it something else, who knows in between. But come with me, it'll be a longer, deeper dive.   It'll have a process or two to really get into understanding and feeling and grasping hold of this way of changing. So you can look forward to a wonderful future, a wonderful life. You know, creating your dreams, because I'm here to support your dreams.   Support you in getting whatever you want, because I believe you're entitled to it in this little old life. You're entitled to dream and have those dreams come true. Providing, and there is always a providing.   And the proviso is this, as long as it's good for you, the people around you, and little old planet Earth, because I want them economical. Economical? No. I want it good for the planet.   I want it good for the people around you. I want it good for you, because it makes sense then, doesn't it? So do join me on the longer podcast. Please do share this with people, anybody you can think of, because everyone, even if you say to them, hey, how you doing? Yeah, I'm good.   I'm good. We are all suffering in some way, because we're all changing. And changing gives you a little bit of a, you know, sometimes a little bit of uncertainty.   I don't want to give you certainty. So even if they're not saying that they have anxiety, fear, depression, loneliness, you fill in the blank. We all have something somewhere, don't we? That we're working through.   And this, I believe, will help you and help them. So do please share. Please press that subscribe button or follow button or whatever it is you have on your listening device of choice, because that means you won't miss out.   It'll come up on your feed and you go, yay, here comes Cloughie With. Yeah, just have a listen. And last upon last, and everyone tells you, don't keep asking too many things, but this is the third one.   If there is anything that you'd like help with, if you are having any challenges, do email me. My email address is feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. Do that, you get a personal request from me because I'm the only bugger here. And we'll create an episode just for you.   And I say just for you, but what it means is everyone gets the benefit of, because we're all suffering in some way, big, small, little, in the challenges that you have. We all have this very similar challenges, and we can transform the processes to deal with the ones that we have. Okay, please do that.   Let me know how you're getting on. Give me some feedback. Tell me if I'm talking a load of old, you know what, or if there's something you'd l

  5. Jul 17

    #485 How To Create A Life Without Becoming Lost

    Finding Your Way: When You Feel Lost in Life Have you ever quietly said to yourself, "I've lost my way"? Not necessarily out loud. Just inside your own mind. That feeling that somehow you've become disconnected from where you're going, who you're becoming, or even who you really are. In this deeper dive episode, Paul explores a personal experience of feeling lost after making significant changes in life and identity. What emerged was a surprising realisation: perhaps we don't lose our way at all. Perhaps we simply lose connection with the part of ourselves that already knows the way. This episode explores the uncomfortable space between who you've been and who you're becoming, why that space can feel like grief, and how looking outside yourself for answers often keeps you stuck. Most importantly, you'll experience a guided hypnosis and visualisation process designed to help you reconnect with your future self, discover your inner direction, and uncover the next small step on your journey. Because maybe your path isn't something you find. Maybe it's something you feel. IN THIS EPISODE • Why feeling lost often follows personal growth and change • The hidden link between identity and feeling directionless • Why searching for answers outside yourself can make things worse • The difference between finding a thing and following a direction • How your future self may already know the next step • Using emotion to communicate with your unconscious mind • Why purpose is often discovered through feeling rather than logic • A guided hypnosis process to reconnect with your inner compass KEY TAKEAWAYS ✓ Feeling lost doesn't mean you've lost your way. ✓ Identity shifts can temporarily create uncertainty and confusion. ✓ Your future self can provide guidance when your conscious mind feels stuck. ✓ Direction often appears before the destination becomes clear. ✓ Purpose is experienced through alignment and feeling, not just thinking. ✓ Small steps create clarity far more effectively than endless searching. QUOTE FROM THE EPISODE "You don't have to have the whole plan. You don't need the perfect map. Your future self doesn't hand you the whole journey. It simply nudges you, one step at a time." REFLECTION QUESTIONS • Have I really lost my way, or have I simply lost connection with myself? • What parts of my identity am I currently letting go of? • What feeling am I truly seeking in my future? • If my future self could guide me today, what small step would it suggest? • Am I searching for answers outside myself that may already exist within? CALL TO ACTION If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who may be feeling uncertain about their direction in life. https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/485-finding-your-way-when-you-feel-lost-in-life And if there is a subject you'd like explored in a future episode, email: feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com Together we'll keep exploring, learning, and evolving. Until next time... Have more fun than you can stand. Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here. Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com. Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast. Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page. Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall. And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism   Hey friend, hope you're doing well and welcome to this longer, deeper dive. And we had the FMQ, the seed of freedom versus structure, freedom or structure. But maybe that's the wrong question.   Maybe I'm asking the wrong question. Maybe a better question might be, how do I create a life that feels free without becoming lost? Okay, something to think about here straight away. If I gave you complete freedom tomorrow, what would you do? There's no schedule, no obligations, no one telling you what to do.   Sounds wonderful doesn't it? Maybe you can feel it, feel what that would feel like, complete freedom. Just imagine what you'd see, hear, feel. Yeah, but just think for a moment.   What happens on day three? What happens when no one's asking anything from you? What happens when there's no deadlines, no structure, no bloody routine? Yeah, didn't think of that did we? I mean, me personally, I've been really wrestling with this. You know, this has been deep inside with my puzzle books and all that thing. Been struggling, wrestling, trying to get a grip of it.   You see, for years, I really wanted freedom. In fact, every client of mine, when I ask them, what do you really want? They say, I just want to be free Paul, I want freedom. But the thing is, when I got closer to it, I found something surprising, and so did they.   You see, I tell you what, let's do a little bit of exploration, the first part of our dive. So take a deep breath, and let's explore this myth. I'm going to call it a myth of freedom.   You see the dream? We've all got it, we've all had it, haven't we? No alarm clocks. Oh dear. No obligations.   You don't have to do anything. No one's telling you what to do, because there's no restrictions. You have a total choice in all of this now.   Total choice, oh my. But then, what's the reality of that? What is the reality? Maybe too many choices? Hmm. Too many choices, oh wow.   Because when you have too many choices, guess what? No direction, is there? There's no momentum. I feel disconnected. I feel stuck.   Can you get that? Can you feel that? That's the way I was feeling. I was feeling stuck because of all these things I started to look at. Feel it with me.   Now you see, I have been doing a lot of work lately on myself. You see, my roles have been changing. I've been deeply into a lot of work with therapy, and I'm starting to just ease that out a bit now.   Not doing quite so much. There's a lot of activities I have been doing, and I've decided to say, well, no, actually, I'm going to push them away. I'm going to change.   And so they dropped off. And because of that, I got space. It started to appear to me.   And you see, here's the thing. I look forward to it. I did.   Because space, to me, is precious. And it sounded so wonderful, until I found I was standing right in the middle of too much space. There's just too much of it.   You see, what I found out was, freedom without direction can start to feel surprisingly like being lost. I'm going to repeat that, because that started to really get inside me. Freedom without direction can start to feel surprisingly like feeling lost.   Let's go deeper. We've done that a little bit. Let's go even deeper now.   You see, maybe it isn't freedom versus structure. This is where we started. This is where I started.   It's a bit of a false choice, really. Because that's what I'm thinking. Maybe it isn't freedom versus structure.   Maybe that was the wrong question I was asking myself. In fact, that's what I've been asking you. Maybe, instead, I ought to have been asking, what type of support allows me to be free? What type of support allows me to be free? Because that was a good question, wasn't it? You see, when you think of structure, and this is what I did, I began to think of restriction, rules, pressure, obligation.   That was stuff I used to have sometimes, but it's too much now. When I think about it now, having structure, it's too much restriction, too many rules. The pressure was on, and there was an obligation.   But here's the thing, not all structure is control. Because some structure allows you, gives you support. Here's a couple of weird examples.   You know, riverbanks create flow. They're in a pond, they're in a lake that just sits there. Sitting there's good, but we want flow, creative flow.   Music is made of scales, isn't it? Because without those scales and notes, and the structure of that, we wouldn't have music. Sometimes you need a frame around a painting to make it stand out. Because if you think about it now, and I started to think about it, it's as if everything has a structure, a strategy, and it has a strategy that it follows.   And they're the things that started to make me think. You see, without that structure, the bloody thing disappears, isn't it? You see, freedom doesn't flourish in chaos. And I think that's what happens when we have freedom.   Sometimes, you know, you can hear the chaos going on because things are too free. Freedom flourishes when it has something to grow through, feeling alive. Think about that again.   Fr

  6. Jul 10

    FMQ 536 Freedom or Structure - Which one?

    FMQ 536 – Freedom or Structure… Which One? Do you really want complete freedom? I thought I did. No rules. No schedule. Just the freedom to do whatever I wanted. But the more I explored it, the more I realised something didn't feel right. Total freedom can leave us drifting, while too much structure can feel like a prison. So maybe we're asking the wrong question. Perhaps it isn't freedom versus structure at all. Maybe it's about support versus control. In this Five Minute Quickie I'm sharing a real part of my own North Star exploration as I try to discover what allows creativity, purpose and meaningful progress without feeling trapped. This isn't the answer. It's the seed. In the next longer episode we'll explore how a few gentle anchors can create more freedom, not less. In this episode you'll discover: Why complete freedom isn't always as freeing as it sounds. How too much structure can quietly drain creativity. The surprising difference between support and control. Why gentle anchors may be more powerful than rigid routines. A simple question to begin exploring your own balance. If you've ever felt torn between wanting complete freedom and needing enough structure to actually move forward, this episode will give you something worth reflecting on. Please share the episode: https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-536-freedom-or-structure-which-one Ready for the deeper dive? Follow the podcast so you don't miss the next episode, where we'll explore how to create a life that feels both free and grounded. Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here. Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com. Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast. Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page. Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall. And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism     Welcome to the personal development unplugged podcast with me Paul, Cloughie and at the five-minute quickie. And in this five-minute quickie, I just want to have a little conversation with you because I've been wondering about something In fact, it's been more than just wondering, it's something that I've been struggling with. You see, it's all about having freedom, complete freedom, or is it? Or do we need structure? Because sometimes, well, I don't know which one I want.   Does that resonate? You see, loving freedom, we all want freedom, don't we? I know I did, and I do. I want total freedom. Well, I thought I did, you know, what does total freedom look like? To do anything you want, whenever you want, but there's a but there, isn't there? And that's what I've been, it's been like a battle for me, because I really want that freedom.   But then, there's a feeling of being lost, lost, you know, because I need some order, because without order, what gets done? Let that roll around inside your mind for a moment. And then, I think, sometimes, we just want complete freedom, and we're just going to Total freedom or complete structure? But, here's the thing that I came up with, and I'm still not there yet, and that's what I want to share with you in the longer podcast. You see, I had this void, because I couldn't make up my mind.   Because it didn't feel right. Total freedom didn't feel right. Total structure didn't feel right.   And then the aha moment came along. Maybe, just maybe, it's not structure. It's not structure versus freedom.   Maybe it's about support versus control. That's a weird difference isn't it? How much support do you need? How much control do you need? And the answers started to emerge and one of the answers came up was, in sort of an aha, intuitive, it came up and it said, I think I need some gentle anchors, not rules. And the thing is, that seems to make sense to me, but I'm still not fully there yet.   I'm still working on this thing. I'm exploring it. I'm sharing it with a few people, but mainly myself.   And I'm getting some answers. And that's where I'd like to go on this longer podcast, the one that follows this, because this is to sow the seed in your mind. Is it something that resonates with you? Maybe you have things that really need some structure, some control.   There are other places where you need freedom and the support to be able to be free. Maybe you're changing your life circumstances, like me. Moving from different roles, and we've talked about roles before, but these things that I used to do, and now I no longer do it.   And I have a path to follow, and I need to find that path. And in that path, is it constrained by freedom? And imagine that being constrained by freedom or structure. So what I want to dive deeply with you is, in the longer episode, I want to find the freedom that we're comfortable with.   And I think the answers will surprise you. I hope that's of interest. And we can just have a meander down this path of exploration.   And I think the things that I find will resonate with you too, as you wouldn't be here. So please have a little thing, let it roll around in your mind. Maybe you do some little bit of diving yourself before the longer episode comes along.   What do you think of freedom? What do you think of structure? What do you think of support? What do you think of control? And then we can dive deeper together. And I believe we'll find the answers. So come with me.   Make sure you don't miss it by clicking on that subscribe or the support support follow button. Don't know where we got that from. To make sure that you don't miss any episode whatsoever.   Because we're going to have fun, but you've got to be there. You've got to come with me, you've got to do some work with me. And then that's when dreams become our reality.   And you make wonderful, subtle changes. So it's only when you look back, you go, wow, that thing I did back then has created such wonders and richness in my life. Didn't seem so at the time, but wow, when I look back now, where I am now, it was so worthwhile.   So if you'd like that type of feeling, come with me on that longer podcast. So until then, have a think and have a fly because it's time to fly. See you next time.   But before you fly, so the 90 seconds of hypnosis tracks. Why have I put hypnosis tracks on a separate website? Well, it's so simple, really. I wanted you to have them all in one place.   So you can look through them all, you can find the particular one you want. I've even made them downloadable. So you can put them on any of your playing devices that you prefer.   You don't need Wi Fi, you don't need the iTunes or whatever, you can put them anywhere you like. You can even burn them onto disk if you want. Where'd you get them? Well, there you go.   I told you it's paulcloughonline.com/podcast. If you're worried about your email address, please don't be because they stay totally safe with me. I only use them to send you out that email and give you access.   Simple as that. I'll send you a link, a special link so you and only you can access those hypnosis tracks because I want them just for you. And the other thing about this is you've taken responsibility.   I don't want to make these open to everyone, just random. You have taken responsibility to listen and be part of this community of personal development. And I want to help you.   I want to help you personally to get your dreams, your goals, and therefore I'm giving you these tools, these protocols, these paradigms, whatever you want to call them, but in deep hypnosis. So just enjoy. Have more fun than you can stand with hypnosis.   Warning. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly.   Be brave, my friend. Personal development unplugged.  Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited    Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

  7. Jul 3

    #484 Resistance- The Fear That Is Stopping Your Success

    Resistance- The Fear That Is Stopping Your Success Why do we resist doing the very things we know would move our lives forward? In this episode, I share a live training session exploring the hidden force behind procrastination, self-sabotage, overthinking, limiting beliefs, and the fear of change. Although these challenges appear different on the surface, I believe they often stem from the same place – fear-based resistance. We'll look at why your unconscious mind may be holding you back, how overthinking disguises itself as productivity, why perfectionism creates paralysis, and how small steps can dissolve fear far more effectively than giant leaps. I also share practical ways to work with resistance, including reflection, visualisation, questioning limiting beliefs, and reconnecting with the feeling of where you truly want to go. Because success isn't about forcing yourself forward. It's about understanding what's holding you back and learning how to move beyond it. In This Episode Why resistance often shows up as fear rather than laziness The hidden connection between procrastination, self-sabotage and overthinking How perfectionism keeps you stuck Why limiting beliefs create resistance to success The fear of change and stepping beyond your familiar zone Using reflection and journaling to uncover answers already inside you Why small steps beat giant leaps every time How to create momentum without overwhelming yourself The question that helps dissolve resistance and create movement Key Takeaway Resistance isn't the enemy. It's a signal. When you stop fighting it and start understanding what fear is underneath it, you can begin to move forward with confidence, clarity and purpose. Success often isn't about learning more. It's about removing the resistance that's already stopping you. Please share with a friend: https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/484-resistance-the-fear-that-is-stopping-your-success Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here. Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com. Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast. Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page. Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall. And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism #484 Resistance- The Fear That Is Stopping Your Success   . Hey, welcome to the Personal Development Unplugged podcast with me, Paul Clough. And a little while ago, I recorded a live call all about resistance.   Resistance and what resistance is, where it comes from, that fear-based resistance, and how it affects our lives in all different areas. And then how to cognitively be able to deal with that resistance and that fear. And then also added a process that allows you to do it a different way with one very special question.   And I think, well, I thought it was so interesting that I wanted to put that on to the Personal Development Unplugged podcast too. So here it is, have a lesson, have some fun and give me some feedback. It'd be great.   Because we had a discussion about resistance. Resistance and what form resistance plays in our lives and where it shows up, how we can deal with it cognitively, because I think there's always a good space that there are things that we can do just ourselves. And then there was a question that I found that I thought would be absolutely brilliant to go with it.   And we may just do a little process at the end. So resistance. Now, Stephen Pressfield, who's an author, wrote a lovely book.   And most of his books are all about resistance. And he, I think he's one of those, The War of Art. That was the first one I read.   And there's a few more. And it's all about being a creative. He talks about writing a lot.   But it's that creative side where we want to do something, we have something, and we resist doing it. And that resistance, he is saying, is born out of fear. And I think he's right.   Because if you think about anything that we do, or don't do, because we're resisting it, then there's some fear in there somewhere. What the cause is, what the positive intention is, may be different. But I think it's something that we could explore.   So here's a few things that I came up with. One of it was cognitive dissidence, which is basically holding to conflicting beliefs. A typical example of that is a smoker.   A smoker who smokes because they're a smoker. But also, they know, and they believe that smoking causes them bad health. And in the future, we'll do that.   You know, we'll create not such a good ending, probably. Yet they continue to smoke. And they're probably smoking because they believe it does something for them.   They've got two conflicting beliefs. It does good for me, it does bad for me. But the way I see it is, in the cognitive, I can't even say it all the time, cognitive dissidence is things like, it's an intuition.   You know, when you want to do something, or you think you ought to be doing something. And what happens is, I think we've all had it, haven't we? We've all had that feeling where, I'm not sure, it's not a voice, it's not anything concrete. And sometimes we go with it, and sometimes we don't.   But that feeling, I think, is like your unconscious mind connecting with you, and wait, do something, think about something. And I think sometimes when, if you're like me, and you've gone against that feeling, because if the other thing was the right thing to do, you know, either peer pressure, or social or whatever it is, you just think, I think this is the right thing to do because of everything out there. But yeah, I still got that feeling.   Most times it doesn't quite go as good as you thought it would. Sometimes it doesn't go good at all. I can remember a time when I spent days thinking about a particular thing, an opportunity I had.   And I knew peer pressure. Everyone said, no, do it, do it, do it. It's what we've been thinking about.   This is the thing you've been thinking about. You're going to have such a great time when you do this thing. But all the while inside, there was this feeling of, I don't know what, but it wasn't a good feeling.   It wasn't going, yes, Cluffy, go do it. It was, I don't know. And I went against it.   And if you've had those similar examples, I went against it, and it didn't turn out right at all. Yeah, I made a similar decision a few years later. And it did feel, yes, this is the right thing.   So, but there's that fear. But it's like an unconscious signal, I think. So have a think about that.   Have a think about that. There's another area, another area I thought of, which was fear of change. Now everyone says, oh, everyone is, doesn't like change.   Well, it maybe doesn't like change, but it's a bit like, well, I'm in my comfort zone. And you know, what we call our comfort zone, we call it a familiar zone. Because there's that imaginary line, although it doesn't feel imaginary, because we're in this pocket of familiarity.   I can't say the word all the time. Familiarity, nearly got it, nearly got it. And stepping past that line is not sure.   And we resist going past that line. You know, we think it's good for us, but not sure. I'm going to give you a little example.   Everyone who has come to mind mastery, probably had that feeling. You know, I've got this issue, I really want to get rid of it. But you know, there's that thing about being unsure of maybe the result.   But also, I've lived with this for a long time. I know what it is. Doesn't feel good all the time.   But I know what it is. And I know of people who have completely resisted any stepping over that boundary. And it's imposed up here, isn't it? It's our boundary that we put on it.   Because even how bad it is in the world, not knowing what's on the other side. Well, they don't, they don't go past it. But we've all had that experience when we just fear of change, we just go past that familiar zone and things have happened, which can be so brilliant.   Especially if we do it in the right way. But there's that signal of fear. Signal of fear is a resistance.   Where else do we notice it? Have a little think yourself. You see, what about self-sabotage? Now, if you've listened to me over the years, I really have trouble with self-sabotage. Not myself doing it, but listening to people.   Because at one time, it was like a badge of honour. Instead of having this little thing emblem here, it was I self-sabotage and people were proud of it. Oh, yeah, I haven't been able to do that because I just keep

  8. Jun 26

    FMQ535 What's Stopping You Reaching Success?

    What's Stopping You Reaching Success? You know there's something you need to do. A conversation. A decision. A project. A change. And yet... you don't do it. We often call it procrastination or self-sabotage, but what if that's not what's really happening? In this Five Minute Quickie, I explore what might actually be stopping us from moving forward, why change can feel uncomfortable even when we know it's right, and how unconscious resistance may be behind many of the fears, doubts and limiting beliefs that keep us stuck. This isn't about forcing yourself to do more. It's about understanding what's really going on underneath. In this episode: Why we resist change even when we want it The hidden cost of limiting beliefs How fear disguises itself as procrastination Why overthinking keeps us stuck The one emotion that may sit underneath it all A preview of the deeper dive to come Questions to consider: What are you currently avoiding? What would happen if you embraced the change instead? What would life feel like without that resistance? The deeper dive is coming next, where we'll explore what's really driving this unconscious resistance and how to move through it. Please share: https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-535-whats-stopping-you-reaching-success Remember if you want to see the video, go here: https://youtu.be/4U14pVlGWAA Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here. Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com. Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast. Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page. Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall. And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Hey, welcome to the five minute quickie. The seed of something really interesting.   And the thing is, question to you. A question. A question I've been thinking about.   We've all got them. We've all got that thing. The thing that you have to do.   But for one season, one reason, guess what? You don't. I mean, some people will call it bloody self-sabotage. Some will call it procrastination.   And what gets me is some people wear those badges of honour. I hope you're not one of them. But would it be important, would it be important to you to learn what's causing that? And how to do the things you're not doing? Would that be important? You see, there's that feeling we get, isn't there? That feeling we get when change comes.   And I know about this because I've had it so many times before and I've really resisted it. I've resisted that bloody change. Even, even, and this is, I don't know, this is hard for me to admit.   Even when I know I shouldn't be resisting it. I know it's wrong, but I've resisted it all the same. That's really weird, isn't it? And it just feels weird, doesn't it? So what if, here's a question for you, what if we could choose to embrace the right change? Yeah.   And have or be part of the success that would bring. Because there's a special way of doing it. You see, sometimes, sometimes I think it's those limiting beliefs that we have.   You know the ones. I'm not good enough. Oh, I don't belong here.   I'm not worthy. They'll find me out. All those ones.   And with each one of those negative beliefs, even though they're trying to do something for us, I'll explain that. There's an anxiety around it, isn't there? There's a fear. There's a loss of confidence.   Bloody self-esteem gets a whack around the ears, doesn't it? What would it be like? Here's a question. What would it be like if we didn't have those negative beliefs? We didn't have that anxiety. We didn't have that fear.   We didn't have that loss of confidence or that lack of self-esteem. What would that be like? Do you want to know how? Because that's where I'll be going. I'll explain that in a minute.   And there's another thing that we do is when we get this feeling that's sort of stopping us. I'm not going to call it self-sabotage or procrastination. It's just that feeling we have, that unknown feeling.   We tend to overthink it, don't we? And it's that feeling of being stuck. What shall I do? It's that feeling. What's that about? That's what I want to know.   That's what I've been thinking about. Now, everything, and I know that's a big generalisation because everything is a big generalisation, but I think it's pretty 99% bang on the money on this one. Everything I've just mentioned is, well, we could put it down to an unconscious resistance.   You're not consciously stopping doing things. It's an unconscious resistance, your unconscious mind. And that unconscious resistance is linked to one emotion.   That's all. One emotion. Now, final question.   If you didn't have that resistance, you didn't have that stuck feeling, you didn't have those negative beliefs, you didn't have that old feeling, all that anxiety, lack of confidence, low self-esteem, all the stuff that's stopping you moving, moving on, doing the things that you just, well, to get success. And success could be in everything, to live a rich life in every different way. What would that be like? Just think about it now.   What would it feel like? Well, that's where I'm going. That's where I'm going on the deeper dive. So in the next episode, we're going to explore this.   And it's really fascinating. It's interesting. What really happens when you start changing yourself? Because personal development isn't just about changing you.   It's about changing everything. It creates ripples in the whole of your life. Internally, externally.   It affects you, the people around you, the little old planet Earth. And when we get it right, we're on the money. So if that's of interest to you, and it's important to be able to do the things you're not doing that you know you need to do, come with me on the deeper dive, the longer podcast.   To do that, to make sure you don't miss it, press that bloody subscribe button, or that follow button. Because it's there somewhere on that listening device that you have. Press that so that the next time the longer podcast comes along, the deeper dive, you've got it all in one.   And if you know somebody who is always self-sabotaging, procrastinating, always has this problem with change, tell them about it. Share this episode. Share the Personal Development Unplugged podcast.   And then we can do some real good stuff together. Okay? I'll support you in every way I can. But I will see you on the longer podcast.   Well, I'll be in your ears. Have fun. Time to fly.   So before you leave this unplugged mind of mine, this hypnotic mind, if you enjoyed this podcast or any of the other podcasts, please do subscribe. It helps this podcast grow and affect so many more people. And we love to leave everyone in a better place than we found them.   And this will help. Help the podcast. It will help you.   And it will help, well, everyone that you know. So if you could just subscribe and share. Share this podcast to everyone you bloody well know.   That's the only cost. Pay it forward to everyone. And when you do that, boom, we are all going to make a difference to this little old planet Earth of ours and the people in it.   Let's make a good world, a nice world. Okay. Okay.   You can now prepare to leave this unplugged mind. Warning. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough.   It's time to fly. Be brave, my friend. Personal development unplugged.  Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited   Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

See All (1.1K)

5
out of 5
8 Ratings

About

A podcast for those wanting personal development but want it made simple and easy to understand and more importantly use, take action and make a difference to your life and the world you live in. If you want to change the way you feel and the way you act and react. If you have negative emotions, behaviours, that you want to lose forever and create something special in your life then I think you will like what you hear. This genre of self-improvement, self-development and mastery of your mind has, I believe, been made over complicated and secretive and here I am de-constructing the processes into their simple forms that we can all understand and easily use. There's no interviews just little ol' me ;0) Who am I and what do I do?………Paul Clough. I now love helping making changes in people and guiding them to create the life they really want. A personal look at me: The above sentence was not always the case and being the best in the financial realms of the building industry was my aim and getting there by any means. I now know this is, and was, the worst way ~ even if I did make director of one of the largest building companies in Cambridge by the age of 30. One of the major realisations came on my first ever training in hypnosis. I found that it's not a win lose world and that a win win is only a low basis to live. Being true to your beliefs and coming from a place of integrity where service is paramount. This understanding together with lots of NLP skills helped create my last partnership in the building industry grow from a turnover of £800k to £16m in less than twelve years and that can only be done with giving more than expected. Another shaping of me came from two traumatic events in my life that happened within six months of each other which created a number of major changes in me and by beliefs in what is possible. I have written about my experience and how I dealt with it but more importantly it really showed me my love for my three boys and theirs for me and resulted in the step up to become a trainer of NLP (which I never intended) and my close and exciting work with two of my sons. In supporting Joseph and help create change in people in our training's and his wonderful life changing 'Be your potential weekend' and with Luke the continuing development of Cambridge Hypnotherapy and Hypnosis processes. My relationship with my third son Daniel just keeps getting better and better too. Not knowing how good I had become in change work in the beginning I generally studied, practiced and saw clients then things started to happen when I started to work following just my instincts. Two clients come to mind both in effect dying from the effects of what was happening to them and the way they felt and within one and two sessions respectively not only won the will to live they changed virtually in front of my eyes and being apart of that process was and is the best feeling alive. The above are just three of many brilliant learnings I have had in my life. The more formal bit Paul Clough I am a Trainer and Master Practitioner of NLP and Hypnosis and am passionate in assisting those who want to reach their full potential and his special skills form a unique foundation for success. I constantly seek and develop new skills and learning's – through advanced levels of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), Time Line Therapy ™, Hypnosis and to improve everyone I work with. I have an understanding of the mind/body connection which enables me to create in my clients the difference that makes the difference ~ from excellence to outstanding. For those that want qualifications: Certified Trainer and Consultant of Neuro-Linguistic Programming Certified Master Practitioner of NLP & Time Line Therapy Certified Master Hypnotist and Hypnotherapist

Information