Anxiety to Confidence - The Personal Development Unplugged Podcast

Paul Clough
  • 5.0 (8)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Weekly

A podcast for those wanting personal development but want it made simple and easy to understand and more importantly use, take action and make a difference to your life and the world you live in. If you want to change the way you feel and the way you act and react. If you have negative emotions, behaviours, that you want to lose forever and create something special in your life then I think you will like what you hear. This genre of self-improvement, self-development and mastery of your mind has, I believe, been made over complicated and secretive and here I am de-constructing the processes into their simple forms that we can all understand and easily use. There's no interviews just little ol' me ;0) Who am I and what do I do?………Paul Clough. I now love helping making changes in people and guiding them to create the life they really want. A personal look at me: The above sentence was not always the case and being the best in the financial realms of the building industry was my aim and getting there by any means. I now know this is, and was, the worst way ~ even if I did make director of one of the largest building companies in Cambridge by the age of 30. One of the major realisations came on my first ever training in hypnosis. I found that it's not a win lose world and that a win win is only a low basis to live. Being true to your beliefs and coming from a place of integrity where service is paramount. This understanding together with lots of NLP skills helped create my last partnership in the building industry grow from a turnover of £800k to £16m in less than twelve years and that can only be done with giving more than expected. Another shaping of me came from two traumatic events in my life that happened within six months of each other which created a number of major changes in me and by beliefs in what is possible. I have written about my experience and how I dealt with it but more importantly it really showed me my love for my three boys and theirs for me and resulted in the step up to become a trainer of NLP (which I never intended) and my close and exciting work with two of my sons. In supporting Joseph and help create change in people in our training's and his wonderful life changing 'Be your potential weekend' and with Luke the continuing development of Cambridge Hypnotherapy and Hypnosis processes. My relationship with my third son Daniel just keeps getting better and better too. Not knowing how good I had become in change work in the beginning I generally studied, practiced and saw clients then things started to happen when I started to work following just my instincts. Two clients come to mind both in effect dying from the effects of what was happening to them and the way they felt and within one and two sessions respectively not only won the will to live they changed virtually in front of my eyes and being apart of that process was and is the best feeling alive. The above are just three of many brilliant learnings I have had in my life. The more formal bit Paul Clough I am a Trainer and Master Practitioner of NLP and Hypnosis and am passionate in assisting those who want to reach their full potential and his special skills form a unique foundation for success. I constantly seek and develop new skills and learning's – through advanced levels of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), Time Line Therapy ™, Hypnosis and to improve everyone I work with. I have an understanding of the mind/body connection which enables me to create in my clients the difference that makes the difference ~ from excellence to outstanding. For those that want qualifications: Certified Trainer and Consultant of Neuro-Linguistic Programming Certified Master Practitioner of NLP & Time Line Therapy Certified Master Hypnotist and Hypnotherapist

  1. Sep 4

    FMQ 540 A Question That Stopped Me In My Tracks

    A Question That Stopped Me In My Tracks Have you ever heard a question that made you stop dead? Not because you didn't understand it. Quite the opposite. Because you understood it too well. That's what happened to me. I was listening to Chris Williamson on the Modern Wisdom podcast when he asked a question that stopped me in my tracks. And almost immediately I started searching for an answer. Not because I didn't know the answer. I did. And that was the bloody interesting bit. I realised that knowledge wasn't my problem. Action was. I knew what I wanted. I knew some of the things I needed to do. I've been doing this personal development stuff for long enough to have a pretty good toolbox. So why wasn't I acting? That question took me somewhere much more interesting than I expected. It got me thinking about my own search for meaning, direction, purpose and my North Star. It made me wonder about the dreams, goals and desires we have — and what might actually be stopping us from moving towards them. Because perhaps sometimes the problem isn't that we don't know what to do. Perhaps there's something underneath that knowledge quietly saying: "Not yet." And that's where things like limiting beliefs, emotional blockages, self-doubt and our internal voice can start to show themselves. What happens when you see opportunity differently? In this FMQ, I start exploring what might happen if we could make our dreams and goals: Bigger Brighter Richer Quicker And, perhaps most importantly, more enjoyable to pursue Because achieving something isn't the whole story, is it? How we experience the journey matters too. I want to explore how the way we see the world, the things we believe about ourselves and that little voice inside our heads can influence whether we actually take action. And I've got a feeling that question might give us a rather useful way of uncovering what's getting in the way. This is the seed... This is a Five Minute Quickie, so I'm deliberately leaving the question hanging. I'd like you to think about something you're working towards right now. Perhaps it's: Work. Health. Relationships. A project. A dream. A goal. Or simply letting go of something that's been holding you back. Write it down if you can. Don't solve it yet. Just bring it with you. Because in the longer Deeper Dive, we're going to explore the question properly and see whether we can turn it into a practical process for uncovering what's stopping us — and perhaps finding a better way forward. And who knows? Maybe your answer will surprise you. That's certainly what happened to me. Have a think. And enjoy every heartbeat. Please Share and pay it forward https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-540-a-question-that-stopped-me-in-my-tracks And if you want to see m,e recording this https://youtu.be/QM19D4Hzu8I 🎧 Listen to the Deeper Dive If this question has already started rattling around inside your head, don't leave it there. Come with me into the next longer episode where we'll explore the question properly and see what it can teach us about taking action, overcoming limiting beliefs and moving towards the life we actually want. About Personal Development Unplugged I'm Paul Clough, and for years I've been exploring NLP, hypnosis, personal development, confidence and the wonderfully strange workings of the human mind. These days, I'm becoming increasingly interested in something beyond simply fixing problems. How do we create a life we actually want to experience? That's the conversation I'm having with myself — and with you. 🎁 Free Hypnosis Tracks If there's something getting in the way of your confidence, goals or personal development, I've created a growing collection of free hypnosis tracks that you can explore. Find them at: paulcloughonline.com/podcast Connect With Me I'd genuinely like to know what this question does to you. What did it make you think about? And more importantly... What do you already know you should be doing — but aren't doing? Drop me a line: feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here. Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com. Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page. Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall. And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism         Welcome to this five-minute quickie with me, Paul, Paul Clough. I had a question that stopped me right in my tracks. It was thrown out by, I say thrown out, by a guy called Chris Williams of the Modern Wisdom podcast.   Now, if you haven't subscribed to that one, I'd subscribe because it is bloody, bloody good, really is. But let's get back to the story. You see, have you had that experience where you hear something or you see something, someone asked you a question and boom, it stops you in your tracks and somehow the words don't come out and you go and search for an answer.   If you look at people doing this, their eyes go in all different directions. It's called a trans-derivational search in NLP terms, but you look everywhere for the answer. It's like going into the place we call the void to try to find something.   And this question, well, it stopped me in my tracks, but made me think. I love questions that make me think. It made me think about my search for meaning, my North Star, my direction, you know, my redesign, as it were, finding my new way, my path.   And you see, it got me so much. I was so excited about this question. I shared it.   It's good to share. It's good to share. I shared it with two of my sons and they were blown away by it.   Made them think. And as we talked about it, we got the same type of reactions, but I wasn't happy just to use that one question. I wanted to find out why, even knowing the answer to that question was triggering me.   You see, I wasn't doing the answers to the question and I had knowledge. I know a lot about it. As soon as that question came along, I was starting to think of different answers.   So knowledge wasn't the problem. It was action, wasn't it? I wasn't acting. So something must be stopping me.   So you have to have a little think, I guess. And that's where the longer, deeper dive comes into. And that's where we're going to go next, because I think you'll find it really exciting.   See, I want to explore that question and how we, you and I, might use it to really get our dreams, our goals, our desires, or basically anything you want quicker. Maybe we can get them a little bit bigger, you know, dream bigger. Maybe we'll get them even brighter, so they're even richer.   Maybe we'll get them even quicker. Did I say quicker? Maybe get in there just a little bit quicker. And most importantly, enjoy the process of all of that.   Can you imagine doing that? What would it be like if you could think of ways to make your dreams, goals, desires, become bigger, brighter, come along quicker? And how would you be in the world? Think about it. How would you see the world? How would you see the world through your eyes? I think you'd start to see it with more opportunity, wouldn't you? And when you see things with more opportunity and you believe in yourself with the opportunity, you start to believe in your competence, which gives you the confidence to really step out. What would that feel like? I mean, what would you say to yourself inside? What would your internal voice be? I don't think it would be that, oh, I'm not really good enough, or I'm not sure, or maybe what happens if I fail, or maybe, you know, I shouldn't be here.   I shouldn't be thinking, you know, who am I to think of these dreams, these goals, desires? No, I think you'll think, you know, I've got this. I deserve this. I'm going to get it.   I'm so lucky I get the opportunity. That's what goes in my head. What goes in your head? What would the inner voice say? And when you put what you see, how you see the world, you filter the world, all those opportunities, you've got that good feeling, you've got that great internal voice, you'd probably have some really powerful, positive beliefs that support you, wouldn't it? Wouldn't you? Just think about them all now.   Now you see, all of that got me, and I wanted to explore what stops us following those answers? What stops us getting into that wonderful way of being, seeing opportunities, having supportive beliefs, feeling so competent and confident in the world, achieving things, getting rid of things like limiting beliefs, because that's what we have, don't we? We have hold ups, we have emotional blockages, we have limiting beliefs, and if we can discover them because of this question, then I think we might be onto something. Might not be the whole panacea of getting everything, but I think it'll go a long, long way. Take a pause

  2. Aug 28

    #488 Your'e Not Who You Think you Are

    You're Not Who You Think You Are Who the f*ck am I? That was the question that dropped into my head while I was sitting with my puzzle book. And what started as a bit of quiet thinking took me somewhere I didn't expect. We often confuse who we are with what we do. I'm a therapist. I'm a parent. I'm a partner. I'm successful. I'm anxious. I'm confident. But those are roles, behaviours and experiences. They aren't necessarily our identity. So who are we underneath all of that? I started thinking about Superman, Spider-Man, Batman and Wonder Woman. They all have different identities, different roles and different ways of showing up in the world, but underneath the costume there's something deeper: values, purpose, a calling and a direction. And perhaps that's true for us too. In this episode, I explore identity, self-discovery, personal growth, purpose and finding your North Star, along with a simple process for meeting the different versions of yourself and asking one rather interesting question: Which one is pretending to be you? I also share how my puzzle book has become a surprisingly powerful tool for thinking, asking better questions, exploring the unconscious mind and finding my way through change. This isn't me teaching you who you are. It's me sharing what I'm discovering about myself and inviting you to explore alongside me. Because maybe we're not here to find ourselves once and for all. Maybe we're here to keep discovering who we're becoming. Enjoy every heartbeat. What You'll Explore Why we can confuse our roles and behaviours with our identity The difference between what you do and who you are How self-discovery can reveal parts of ourselves we've overlooked Why values and purpose may matter more than rigid goals Finding your calling and personal direction My North Star approach to personal development A simple process for exploring the different versions of yourself How a puzzle book can help uncover thoughts, ideas and unconscious insights Why leaving a question unfinished can sometimes be surprisingly useful How to use curiosity and reflection for personal growth A Question For You Which version of you is pretending to be you? And perhaps the more interesting question: Who's noticing them all? Don't forget to share or should I say REMEMBER to share this episode https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/488-youre-not-who-you-think-you-are And if you want to me recording this episode https://youtu.be/B1Ci7953cME Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here. Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com. Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast. Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page. Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall. And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism   So, welcome to this longer podcast with me, Paul. You're not who you think you are. Sometimes the roles we mistake for ourselves.   You see, the other night I had a conversation with my puzzle book. Yeah, I speak to my puzzle. My puzzle book speaks to me.   And I sat there. Sometimes you sit there and you just have to wait for something to arrive and then completely out of nowhere, the question just appeared. And it was, who the f**k am I? Simple as that.   Who the f**k am I? You see, it wasn't in a desperate way. It was a genuine question of me asking myself. Because sometimes, as we say, the roles we have or we think we have are a mistake.   A mistake of how we recognize. A long, not a long time ago, a little while ago on an FMQ and a longer podcast, I talked about behavior, the behaviors and the roles that we think we have. You see, sometimes, I mean, I used to say, I was a therapist.   I'm a therapist. I am a therapist. I'm a hypnotist.   I'm a parent. I'm a dad. And I'm none of those.   What do you call yourself? Who do you think you are? Who do you identify? Because none of those are what you are, who you are. They're just the roles that you play. And you see, it's just what you're doing.   It's not your identity. You're not your roles. I want to think about something.   You see, what came to mind while this bloody question got into my head was, what does Superman, Spider-Man, Batman, and even throw Wonder Woman in there, all have, all have in common? What do they have? Take a moment. That's what puzzle books do for you. They get you to think weird things.   And what do they have? They have two identities, don't they? One that the world sees, yeah? Everyone sees them from the outside. But there's another one. The one that they know private.   And that's what the puzzle book does for me. Get inside. But there's a twist, you see.   Neither are actually who they are. Clark Kent isn't bloody Superman. Superman isn't really Superman either.   Both are just expressions, aren't they? Peter Parker is Spider-Man, isn't he? Peter Parker. Bruce Banner is not the Hulk. And the Hulk is.   They're all trying to, I don't know, reconcile the parts of themselves. And there was this mixture going on in my head. And then I thought, this isn't about superheroes, even though I've written notes about them.   It's about integration. You see, I had another thought. Doesn't every superhero have a calling? They're not a goal, are they? It's not the goal.   They have a calling. You see, Spider-Man never says, my goal is. Have you ever heard him say that in the movies? No, of course you have.   Because he lives by value. You see, they're value and they have a great. Superman lives by service.   Batman, by justice. And a thought came up to me, and I've talked about my North Star. We've all have a North Star, a direction.   You see, my North Star, I started to think of goals, identity, direction, purpose. And it was as if I began to think about they're all joining together to become one being, one thing. Bloody me, Cluffy.   Yeah, that was surprising. All coming through this, this puzzle book, sitting down quietly, being suddenly jolted. Who the f**k am I? Why don't you do something with me? If it's okay, by the way, I'd like you to close your eyes.   Because I want to do a little process. Because even though we're doing conversations, I'm always going to include a process or two. So if it's safe to do so, you can close your eyes.   Maybe be undisturbed just for a little while. I want you to do some imagining. It'll be great.   So find a place where you'll be undisturbed if you can. Close your eyes. Take a moment or two.   Give yourself permission to explore. Be curious. Yeah.   And if not, bookmark this place. But if it's okay, take a nice in-breath. Allow your eyes to close as you breathe out.   Because I want you to use your imagining. See, I want you to imagine meeting all the different of yourself. So imagine now in front of you, the working, the career, what you've trained to see yourself, the work.   Maybe you're a parent. So see that version of you now, the parent. Or if you've been like a parent to sometimes take that role, don't we? So see that version of you, the work partner.   Meet that you, the notice what you know. And I guess we've all helped people in some way by talking, having a conversation, guiding, effectively being a coach. So see that version of you, the helper, the assistant.   And then we've all been frightened at one time or another in our life, haven't we? What about that frightened version? It doesn't have to be the big scary fright. Maybe we're a lank. We've been anxious about something.   We've been worried. See that version of you. See them walking, thinking, talking, notice everything about them.   But then there's a reverse of that, isn't there? There's that confident version of you. Confident because you're competent. You have skills and you carry out those skills so wonderfully well because you've learned them over time.   So see that confident version of yourself now. And from that confident version, maybe there's that successful version of you where you've just succeeded. Maybe there was a few obstacles in the way, but you got over them.   You were so successful. It doesn't have to be the biggest success in the world. There are big ones and there's little successes all throughout.   See that version of you, the version of you that's just successful. And then again, there's always a reverse of that. What about the version of you that's, let's say, failed just for the sake of it? You failed at doing something.   That could be a failure for not starting something, not finishing something, mayb

  3. Aug 21

    FMQ539 My Puzzle Book Asked Me One Question

    My Puzzle Book Asked Me One Question Who the f*ck am I? That was the question that suddenly popped into my head while I was sitting with my puzzle book. Not what do I do?, not what's my job?, not what role am I playing? — but who am I underneath all of that? It got me thinking about identity, behaviour, the different versions of ourselves we move through in life, and whether we sometimes mistake what we do for who we are. My puzzle book has become a simple way for me to explore these questions, especially when I'm trying to find my way through change. I write down a question, let it sit, and sometimes the answer appears when I'm not even consciously looking for it. And this one opened up a whole new conversation about identity, Superman, Spider-Man, the Hulk… and where all that took me. This is the seed. The longer, deeper dive takes the conversation much further. What if you stopped asking "What do I do?" and started asking "Who the f*ck am I?" or as the deeper dive goes in search of, "You're Not Who You Think You Are" Come and explore it with me and share what you learn; pay it forward https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-539-my-puzzle-book-asked-me-one-question Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here. Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com. Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast. Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page. Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall. And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism So, an interesting title to this 5 minute quickie Who the f**k am I? Or, you could say Conversations with my puzzle book Yeah, either will do Maybe the second one's... No, it's just me But anyway, I wasn't going to do this so quickly, but Last evening I was just sitting down with my puzzle book I'll explain what that really is, but I was sitting down with my puzzle book Just Waiting for something to come along, because I was Trying to get some ideas and then Nothing would come along And then a really interesting question popped Right out of nowhere Have you ever had that, when Something just suddenly pops in Not an aha moment It's just, ooh, where did that come from? And it was that question Who the f**k am I? And it wasn't like, who am I to do this or expect that It was just a question that came into my head So I had a Little think, just sitting there quietly, because the question's here This is my conversation So I started to think about Things like identities, which we've talked about Because you see Sometimes we link identities To what we do, our behaviours Our job And in that way Our identity would change, wouldn't it? Because everything you do, when you do it differently You know, now I'm a parent Now I'm a father Now I'm a this at work And then I'm a this, you know No you're not, they're just things you're doing They're not your identity That's the trouble, you see And we get into this realm of This is me And when you've got all those different identities going round I started to think, well, maybe this is what's coming up Who the f**k am I? But it It didn't seem to be that So I sat there a little bit longer This is like a A one-sided conversation, where nothing is happening I'm sitting there thinking, nothing is happening But then I started to think And recall Now if you've been here Listening to the longer episodes You'll notice that They've changed slightly from the What was, if you go back to the very early episodes They were all process driven How to deal with this, how to do that And now, yes, this process is still within the episodes But they're geared around the episode The content And the content's changed now to To like a sharing A sharing for me, what I'm searching for My difficulties, how I'm getting over them And it's not a diary It's a sharing so we can Both start to consider things And if you think about it, even the last Whether it was the last one or the one before that I'm still finding my way Where I explain how Things are changing in my life And then I started to think, well, maybe that's about my identity So maybe that's where this question's popping up Still finding my way Who the f**k am I? And then I started to To be able to write Write in that puzzle book Now what is a puzzle book? I'll let you know now You see, for me a puzzle book is purely a book A book, it could be a piece of paper It could be a f*g packet If one of those is, that's a cigarette packet That's an old English term I shouldn't have said that, yeah, it did, anyway But it's just a book that you can Put your thoughts down Puzzle books, you can puzzle about questions of your life Issues in your life, things that are happening And it's like an anchor, it's an anchor to me Because when I open that and I get my pencil Or pen and I just sit there Things like this come to mind Or I write a question down I want to Discover more about And sometimes I'll do a little bit and leave it And sometimes it's the leaving that is the thing Because it's unanswered or not completed And that buggers up your old unconscious mind Because it likes to finish So it goes away and helps you finish the question So when you come back to your puzzle book You start to get answers And sometimes I deliberately leave it open like that To get an unconscious answer Not in case I'm getting too conscious about this thing And it's a dance between conscious and unconscious So the puzzle book, I really suggest just get a book Because you can always go back to it and you flick through it So a piece of paper is okay But unless you're going to put them together A lovely puzzle book And they're so cheap because they're just a plain book Any size you want So that's a puzzle book I don't have any selling rights on puzzle books No, that was just silly But a puzzle book is a great thing to have But the thing is, while I was sitting there Back to the story, Cloughie This conversation I started to have this conversation with myself About who the f**k am I But the thing is I started to think about something quite random I started to think about Do you know what? Superman Spiderman The Hulk What was all that about? Now, I did explore that a lot more And I think there's a lot more to come So if you want to come with me And have a conversation about my conversation My talks, my conversation with the puzzle book About identity If that's something that's resonated with you now Who the f**k am I? Because it's good to explore Even if you know who you are Sometimes just below the surface There's an even richer source of learnings Where we really get to, let's say, find our way And I'm still searching for mine And I'm going to share the hell out of it with you But if that's something of real interest to you Please come with me on the longer, deeper dive Where we'll do, I think, something really interesting And explore Explore about the bloody Superman, the Spiderman, the Hulk And where it took me I think you'll find it really good And I'm sure I'm going to find a little process or two To put in there So we can really start to To find out who we are Where we feel solid in who we are Where we feel comfortable who we are You know, we're happy with who we are That's something you might want to think about Those questions Am I happy who I am? Do I know who I am? Now maybe it's other people who are giving me my identity Is it my behaviours giving me my identity? And that's not who I am So come with me on a lovely conversation On the next full, longer episode The deeper dive Press that subscribe button so you don't miss it Say that every time, don't know if you do But if you do, press the button And if this has sparked your interest I'm sure you have a friend who has a similar interest So share it with them too And then we can all find who the f**k we are That's what came out in a conversation It's the way I speak to myself in my head And it's done in a joking way I'm not having a pop at me I'm trying to spur myself on I think And it just comes out that way So I hope that hasn't offended you But I'm doing it in a very genuine, loving way If you can do that With a swear word You can, because I did Enjoy, have more fun than you can stand Enjoy every heartbeat as usual And I'll be in your head, in your ears With that longer, deeper dive to follow Enjoy, go fly We all need time to de-stress, don't we? We all need that space Everyone needs space Our own place of personal retreat And going to retreats are great But if you can't, why not have one in your mind? You know, if you don't go to that special place That stress just builds and builds and builds

  4. Aug 14

    #487 Why Goals Stopped Working Foe Me

    Why Goals Stopped Working For Me — And What I Discovered Instead I've spent years setting goals, teaching goal setting and helping people turn dreams and desires into something they could actually achieve. And goals are bloody useful. They give us motivation, direction and something to move towards. But I eventually noticed something: sometimes you reach the goal and still think, "Is that it?" That was the clue for me. I realised I had been asking goals to give me things they were never designed to provide — meaning, purpose, direction, peace and a sense of belonging. So perhaps goals aren't the problem. Perhaps we're expecting too much from them. In this deeper dive I explore what happened when I started looking beyond goals and towards my own North Star — not as a destination, but as a direction for how I want to live and experience my life. There's also a simple reflective process to help you explore a goal you've already achieved and discover what you were really hoping it would give you. Because maybe life isn't about reaching the right destination. Maybe it's about learning how you want to travel. And, as I'm discovering for myself, that might be much closer to enjoying every heartbeat. In this episode Why goals are brilliant servants but terrible masters. What can happen when achieving a goal still leaves you asking, "Is this it?" The difference between achievement and meaningful experience. Why my North Star is becoming more about direction than destination. A simple process for discovering what you're really looking for through your goals. How goals, dreams and desires can become experiences rather than just milestones. If you've ever achieved something you thought would make you happy, only to find yourself wondering "What's next?", this one's worth a listen. And if you agree, please share the hell out of it with everyone you know :o) https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/487-why-goals-stopped-working-for-me and if you want to see me recording this in an unplugged way https://youtu.be/DAJM7ROz8vk Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here. Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com. Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast. Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page. Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall. And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism       So, the longer deeper dive. Why goals stop working for me? Well no, actually, what I discovered instead.   Because this isn't an episode about goals. It's changed. It's changed in a way that it's more about, I don't know, meaning.   There's more meaning to our lives than the structure of goals. And that's what it's all about. You see, there's something that goals can, will, never give us.   If you remember from the five minute quickie, you did watch or listen to the five that precedes this. I said, and I think it was sort of profound, what if the reason you keep setting goals isn't because you need another goal, but because you're looking for something goals can never, or were never designed to do for you. Yeah.   Now, here's the thing, you're probably thinking, probably thinking, is this guy against goals then? Because what is personal development if it doesn't have an element of it as goal setting, goal achieving, having aims, desires, dreams. And yeah, goals are wonderful. Why are they wonderful? Well, they give you an aim in mind.   What are promises? What do goals promise you? In your head, with that intention of that goal, they give you an outcome, motivation. And this is what I found in my life, is by having goals, they have sometimes, quite often, unexpected items. Because between you and I, you are not intelligent enough, brainy enough to know exactly what you want.   And by the way, nor am I. But when you start working towards a goal, a dream, a desire, something you want, you have that wonderful intention, you have that motivation, you have that feeling inside. Sometimes we just attract or find new doors, new opportunities that just like synchronicity, come along. In fact, when I first started training in NLP, I wanted to do NLP.   And I went to see this guy and he said, no, you can't do NLP. First of all, you have to do hypnosis. I didn't want to do hypnosis, that's not part of my goal.   I want to do NLP to be really, really good at business. But when I got into hypnosis, man, changed my life 26 years ago. And counting, maybe 26 and a half now.   And I love it. It was never on my radar. It was not on the horizon.   It was, it wasn't to be seen. It helped me build businesses, not just the business I wanted to use NLP things for, but the goals helped me build businesses for NLP trainings, hypnosis clinics, doing coaching sessions, going around different countries and training people in trauma therapy. Man, if it didn't have a goal for one of those, and the options and the synchronicity, I wouldn't have done any of that.   Goals have helped me learn, I've learned so much. Because you don't realize when you have a goal, what you are going to learn, the experiences you have, the things you're going to take with you into the next one. It's that skill stacking, isn't it? And there's also that bit when you're down, when you're in a bad time, like I was.   If I didn't have a goal, certainly a goal to get out of it. But also mini goals within that period to help me find a way out, give me the leg up, give me the hand holes to climb out of that hole. I'd still be there now.   Or maybe not even be here in this planet Earth. So they really help you overcome difficult periods in your life. So when you think about it, goals are brilliant servants.   That's what they are. They're brilliant servants. But there's a but, and they don't normally use buts, but they are.   But they are terrible masters. And that's what you've got to think of. Servants, don't let them master your life, because that's what I discovered instead.   So the title says goals stopped working for me, they didn't. But I did discover something even deeper beyond goals. You see, sometimes when I've set goals in the past, and it does happen quite a bit sometimes, I hear that small voice.   That small voice which says, is that it? Set the goal, I've done the work, come out at that end, the ending of the goal. And even if the words didn't come as words, that's the feeling I got. Is this it? Is that all there is? Think about that.   Maybe you can think of examples in your life. You know, even think of the little goals like buyer's remorse. We've all had buying something we've wanted for ages.   And when we got it, is that it? When we've got promoted in that job, we've strived and strived and strived, striven. Is this all there is? Maybe you think, when I lose weight, I'm gonna have all that confidence. Do you? Sometimes, when you finish a project, and I've had this, there's a lot of my goals were projects.   And it's that strange emptiness. You know, it's now what? Because the chase has ended, hasn't it? The chase has ended. But the thing is, again, I've had some good goals, by the way.   And I still have that feeling sometimes, is that it? Unless I've, I realised it's a progression. The goal is not necessarily the singular destination. But the thing is, I discovered this.   I'd been asking the goals, the goals in my life to do a job they were never designed to do. So what am I really asking them? You see, a little bit of vulnerability here. I want to say just lately, but it's been a good six, nine months, even.   I think I started this additional work on myself, call it additional, but new work on myself. Because things were changing in my life. Different structures, we've talked about structures and freedom and all this stuff, all come through this path I'm beginning to tread.   And I've been seeing my life changing. And they're changing as if there's no goals. But there's, even there was a few goals.   I was just trying too hard. And things weren't gelling for me. You know, the now what? Is this all there is? So instead of asking those goals to do a job for me, maybe I was looking for something different.   And this is what I was looking for. And you might get this. What I was really asking was to find purpose, to find direction, to find meaning, peace.   That was a big one. And belonging. Because things changing in your lives, these things allow you to bring things together.   You see, goals can can produce achievements. But they can't produce things on their own. It co

  5. Aug 7

    FMQ 538 Why Goals Stopped Working For Me

    Why Goals Stopped Working For Me We all need goals. They give us direction, motivation and something to aim for. I've spent years teaching goal setting, visualisation, Timeline Therapy and even a little Law of Attraction. Goals work... but I discovered they weren't the whole story. A while ago something felt off. I was achieving what I'd set out to do, yet there was still a quiet feeling that something was missing. It wasn't about fear of failure or limiting beliefs. It was something much deeper. In this Five Minute Quickie I share the beginning of that discovery and ask a question that completely changed the way I now think about success and fulfilment. What if you don't need another goal? What if you're asking goals to give you something they were never designed to provide? In the next longer episode I'll share what I discovered, how it changed my direction, and why it became such an important part of my own personal development journey. If you've ever reached a goal and still wondered, "Is this really it?" then this episode is for you. In this episode you'll discover: Why achieving goals doesn't always create fulfilment. The hidden feeling many people experience after reaching success. The question that changed my thinking. Why the deeper answer isn't another goal. A preview of the next Deep Dive episode. Subscribe so you don't miss the next episode where we'll explore what I found instead. And share with a friend or two so they don't miss out too: https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-538-why-goals-stopped-working-for-me And if you want to see me recording this https://youtu.be/wMVSjF8Hthk Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here. Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com. Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast. Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page. Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall. And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism FMQ Why Goals Stopped Working For Me I want to share something personal with you. A little while ago, a little while ago, something felt off. Something just didn't feel right in my life.   The thing is, what I'm trying to say is, I want to rewind that slightly because we all need goals in our life, don't we? Aims, desires, even dreams. We need them all, don't we? And don't get me wrong, this is not a goal setting workshop or anything like that at all. You see, for years, I used to have loads of goals, dreams, visualisations, you name it, I had them.   I even taught goal setting. I taught putting goals in the future. I did it with my clients.   Timeline therapy. I even did a little bit of the law of attraction because they're all intertwined, aren't they? And they do all have a purpose, but, and it's the but, I felt something was missing. You know, getting goals helped me.   Yeah, yeah, they did. They helped motivate me. They felt good for a time.   But after a while, say a little while ago, I wasn't truly fulfilled. You know, getting the goals is one thing, but it just didn't, well, I don't, it just didn't make me feel right. There was something missing.   I didn't know what it was. Well, not then. Does that resonate with you a little bit? Can you remember? Well, I'll explain the feeling I had.   And maybe you, it'll resonate with you. Maybe you can remember the type of feelings that you've had. I just felt hollow inside.   Yeah, I was pleased with what I was doing. But again, it was just there was something maybe out of reach. Something, you know, I said unfulfilling, but I could look back over my life and say, Yeah, you've had a fulfilling life, Cloughie.   Yeah, there's ups and downs and some big downs. And yes, big ups. But really, I couldn't put my hand on it.   I couldn't grasp what was missing. Not then. Sometimes by the vision I was looking through my eyes in internally, I guess, was a bit blurred.   Because I couldn't quite see the direction I wanted to go in. Something was missing. It really was.   Now, I know, sometimes we can put that to things like fear of success, fear of failure. You've even got things like, I'm not good enough, all those limiting beliefs, you know, I shouldn't be here. What if they find me out? And we can deal with those.   And we will deal with those. You see, there are things that prevent us having goals, getting our dreams, getting that getting our desires. And I've got 60 plus hypnosis tracks for you completely free.   Well, complimentary is a better way of saying it. Just go to paulcluffonline.com forward slash podcast and have what you like. And if there's anything that you require help in, in achieving your goals, or something is stopping you and you want to let go of the block, you get in touch with me.   Feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com and we'll sort out things for you. That's my email address, by the way. Just let me know.   But that's not what I'm talking about, really, because we can get the goals, but I was getting my goals. But that unfulfilled feeling. It's a little bit like getting somewhere and going, is that it? Is that all there is? And even started affecting me in looking at my life.   Is that all there is here? And what's next? Because I can keep doing the same thing over again, but will it change this feeling? And you see that even affects our beliefs, isn't it? We've got those limiting beliefs, even on those goals. But you know, that unfulfilled feeling begins to give you limiting beliefs. And a bit like, is that all there is? What's is it worth it? And then about yourself? Maybe I'm not good enough.   Maybe I'll just get it wrong. Maybe I'm a failure. And then the values that we hold so dearly sometimes start to get just rocked a little bit.   And that ultimately affects our identity, the identity that we we believe we have. But, and this is the but, so that was pretty down. But this is the but.   What if? What that lovely question? What if? What if the reason you keep setting goals isn't because you need another goal? Oh, that's different, isn't it? I'll say that again. With that wonderful question. What if the reason you keep setting goals isn't because you need another goal? But because you're looking for something goals were never designed to do? Have a think about that for the moment.   I'm going to give you a little bit of time to think about it anyway. Because on the deeper dive, the next episode, I'll tell you what I discovered instead, because I found the answer. And I'll take you through my personal journey, my adventure of of what happened.   And I'll share with you, hopefully the things that get you thinking that, yeah, I can have that too. That resonates with me. I'll come along with Cloughie.   Because this is a personal sharing. And I hope you hope it helps. Because you know, I want to support you in your dreams, your goals, your desires.   And all the things that maybe stop you getting them and all that. The process is stuff. But there's also the deeper thing, the deeper thing that I discovered.   I think it'll make a huge difference. So do press that subscribe button, follow button. So when then it'll be next week, the next episode, when the next episode, the deeper dive, the hashtag, deeper dive comes along, it'll come on your listening device, just like that, without you thinking.   And then we can have a wonderful conversation together. Because this is what these are all about now, having a conversation and sharing of things I've learned along the way. And hopefully, it'll save you having to go through what I've gone through.   So I'll see you next time on the deeper dive, or just have a think. I'll just repeat that question one more time. What if the reason you keep setting goals isn't because you need another goal? It's because you're looking for something goals were never designed to do.   That's deep, isn't it? Have a good think of that. And I'll see you next time. Bye bye.   Time to fly my friend. Enjoy every heartbeat.  Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited   Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

  6. Jul 31

    #486 I'm Still Finding My Way

    I'm Still Finding My Way – Why You Don't Need Your Old Self Back Have you ever caught yourself saying, "I just want the old me back"? I know I have. I've heard it from hundreds of clients too. It sounds comforting because we believe our old self represents certainty, confidence and stability. But what if that's not really what we're looking for? In this deeper dive I explore an idea that completely changed the way I see personal development. Instead of chasing an old version of ourselves—or even trying to discover some perfect "real me"—perhaps we're simply finding our way. Because your way changes as you change. I'll share part of my own journey through depression, identity and the work I've been doing around my North Star. Together we'll explore why identity isn't somewhere you arrive, but something that keeps unfolding, and I'll guide you through a simple reflective process to help you reconnect with the qualities that have always been part of you. If you've ever felt lost, uncertain or caught between who you were and who you're becoming, I hope this episode helps you realise that maybe you haven't lost your way at all. In this episode you'll discover: Why wanting your "old self" back may be keeping you stuck. The difference between identity and the qualities that never leave you. A simple "Museum of Selves" exercise to reflect on every version of your life. Why your future isn't about becoming someone different, but continuing to unfold. Practical journal questions to help you take your next small step. Remember... You're not going backwards. You're still finding your way. And your way changes as you change. If this episode resonates, please share it with someone who needs to hear it: https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/486-im-still-finding-my-way/ and if you'd like me to explore a particular challenge, email me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. Oh! And there's a video of me recording this. It's rough and ready because that's all it needs to be https://youtu.be/hWcLgtawcp0 Until next time... Have more fun than you can stand. Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here. Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com. Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast. Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page. Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall. And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism     So the longer podcast, we're back again for the deeper dive, the deeper dive. And if you listen to the FMQ, the seed of this longer podcast, I hope you did listen. It was, I would just want my old self back.   But I thought to myself, that's not really the thing. The more I thought about what we're going to be talking about, I got a different idea. You see, it's more about finding my way, finding your way, and why you don't want your old self back.   Now that's a completely counterintuitive, turn it on its head spin, isn't it? Think about this. Have you ever caught yourself saying something like this? I just want the old me back. I know I have.   I've heard it hundreds of times from virtually every one of my clients. We go through the problem, I said, what do you want? And instead of I want more confidence, I want this. I just want my old me back.   And that's been a generalisation. But since ever, I've been working with clients, seems to be the goal that some want. And I don't think you do though.   I really don't think you do. You see, I thought that's what I wanted. I really did.   And guess what? It wasn't at all. That's not what I wanted. I realised something completely different.   You see, I think there are three identifying, or not, say it again, Paul, three identities that we have. And they're usually, I say that word again, too, usually edited, they're filtered, filtered for all the good bits. Oh, it was so good back then.   You know, they're usually romanticised and very often, totally incomplete. If you're thinking about this, you know, the real self, what do you think these deeper values might be? The real you, the real self, what are your deeper values? Because these are the qualities that remain. They're constant.   You see, for me, there's a mixture. Could be curiosity, being curious of what I want, what's available, how I find it. There's kindness.   Talked so much about kindness. Creativity. You know, really getting into those creative juices.   And you don't have to be an artist. You don't have to be a writer. It's just creatively thinking about you, the world, and other people.   There's humour. Some people don't get mine, but I've got a bit of humour. But there's humour.   And there's love. Soppy. But there's love.   Love for life. Love for your friends, your family, and love for you. And those qualities I was thinking was, you know, they all survive.   They survive things like depression. They survive things like change. And changes can be weird, can't it? You see, this is all about, not the old you, but the emerging you.   The emerging self. But it's the emerging you. It's the person you're becoming.   You're not finishing. You're not getting to a point and then starting again. No, it's not fixed.   It's fluid. It's always evolving. Yeah, you get that? And to me, this is where I got this from, because it was all from my personal North Star work that I've been working on over the last, I don't know, six months, maybe a year.   But it's certainly the six months and I'm going to go through that in different podcasts. These are the type of values I've been looking for behind that romanticised old me. Now, here's the thing.   Forget the old romanticised old self, because you don't need it. You don't want it. Yes, I do, Cluffy.   I do. No. This is what I think you want.   You want to have a confidence and a competence, you know, in a feeling of, I can do this. And you know, you're right. You're not overconfident.   You want certainty. Everybody wants a little bit of certainty. And it's difficult in this ever changing world, but have some certainty about yourself.   You want a bit of energy. And above all, we always want, and your unconscious mind wants it for you, safety. Yeah.   And we always, when I say romanticise, we always associate with that period in the past, different things, not those. Or maybe we just, you know, take the good bits out. Now, let me tell you a story.   True story. My story. A long time ago, I was in a very deep black hole.   Emotionally, very broken. I had brief thoughts of, you know, do I really want to be on this little old planet earth anymore? No, only brief, but it was that low. I never realised you could get that low.   I've talked about it before. I'd worked with people who went to the bottom of the barrel, because I always used to think you have to get to the bottom of the barrel before you start changing. But this was something affecting me in my life.   And suddenly, everything had disappeared on me. And I was trying everything. I was being my own therapist, going through every blooming thing I could think of, because all I was looking for was the old Paul.   The old Paul. I was desperate to find the old me. And then I had this little breakthrough.   I didn't want the old Paul back. I really didn't. Because it didn't fit.   The old Paul was part of that old problem. I was part of the choosing of creating that black hole. I was part of that depression.   I was part of that breakdown. And even chasing that real me. You know, I wanted the real me, the real me.   And that became another destination. Oh, who's the real me? I was chasing and chasing now another, say, another direction, another destination. Another identity, as it were.   Then I came to another aha moment. And what it was, and it's so simple. I'm just still finding my way.   That's all it is. I'm finding my way. And my way changes as I change.   That's it. Let's just think about that again. You're still finding your way.   And your way, whatever that is, changes as you change. Oh, and that was really powerful to me. Really was.   You see, there's so many different changes, isn't there? There's the teenage self, the young parent that I was, there was my career dreaming self. I got pretty successful at one particular career. Well, I think I've been pretty successful at different changing careers, but I was successful in myself, I thought.   But then I'd lost myself. Can you appreciate each one? Could you learn from each one? You see, let's think. Just

  7. Jul 24

    FMQ537 I Want The Old Me Back

    I Want My Old Me Back Have you ever caught yourself thinking, "I just want the old me back"? It's something I've heard from clients for years. It's something I said to myself too. But what if that's not what you really want? What if the old you was part of the struggle... and what you're really looking for is the real you? In this Five Minute Quickie, I share a personal insight that changed how I think about personal growth, identity and lasting change. The next deeper dive explores why you don't need to become your old self again—you simply need to keep finding your way. In this episode you'll discover: Why so many people long for their "old self" The surprising problem with trying to go backwards A simple mindset shift that brings hope and stability Why your path naturally changes as you change A preview of the deeper hypnosis episode to come If you're feeling lost, stuck or disconnected from yourself, this episode is a gentle reminder that you're not broken—you may simply be becoming. Remember to share what you hear: https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-537-i-want-my-old-me-back/ and there's a video of me doing the recording https://youtu.be/L7S0uAc9bRU Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here. Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com. Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast. Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page. Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall. And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Hey my friend, back for a five minute quickie, the seed of something I think you're going to find interesting, but I also think is so important in this adventure of personal development, your personal development, you're creating the best version of you. You see, this is what I've been thinking of. When we're suffering, when we're suffering issues, you know, anxiety, fear, depression, loneliness, anything you can think of, you know, self-sabotage, procrastination, you know, that every blooming OCD, anything you can think of, you fill in the blank.   When it hits us to get out, we're looking for certainty, I guess. Everyone needs certainty. We need certainty and uncertainty.   But in that realm, we want certainty, stability. You know, I'm not going mad. I want to find a way out.   I certainly want to find a way out. You know, something I can hold on to, to lead me out. And I think that here's something that I experienced so often.   When I work with clients, we talk about their issues. And I talk about what you want. And you might think they want, well, you know, I'm so anxious, depressed.   I want happiness. I want fulfillment. I want this.   And they do. But then they really just go, do you not pull? I just want my old self back. The old me, you know, because that's stability, isn't it? The old me, the old me that I can remember.   You see, I don't know. That old me is something that you can remember with fondness, maybe. And we're going to talk about that in a longer podcast somewhere else.   Why the disconnection? Maybe even on this longer, deeper dive, following this FMQ. But you see, another thing, a personal thing. In my life's adventure, way back over there, I was in a big black hole.   And it was big and it was deep. And I was at the bottom of it. And I was doing all sorts of things to get myself out.   Because I knew a lot of different things. I was becoming my own therapist, day in, day out. It was literally day in, day out.   And what I used to say to people, I just want my old self back. The old Paul. If only I had the old Paul, I'd be okay.   And you see, during that time, I had a lot of help. Gave myself a lot of help. Looking for the old me.   So just like my clients. And then one day, one day, guess what? I had an aha moment. We have them occasionally, don't we? An aha moment.   I didn't want the old me. Why would I want that? I'd want the real me. Because the old me had, and was part of, those issues.   And the real me didn't. The thing is, I had something came about in my head. Because whilst that seemed to give me some stability to let go of that and look for this real me, I realised something that changed my thoughts.   This constant looking for this, to me, a new identity. Whatever that was, the real me. Well, it wasn't working.   And that's where the deep dive comes in, in the next longer podcast. You see, I think it's going to be really important when we go there. Because we'll discover something that will give you that certainty, will give you that stability, something to hold on to.   And give you something as a foundation to let go of things such as that fear, that anxiety, that depression, that loneliness, the old whatever, you fill in the blank. But on this lovely, I call it a lovely adventure. But sometimes it's, you know, adventures can be a little bit scary, can't they? I want to share with you one thing.   And I'd like you to think about it before the dive. And this one thing is, and it's like my second aha moment, when I've been sitting down with my puzzle book, and just thinking and trying to find a way, trying to find that certainty. I came up with this little sentence.   And it just makes me feel okay. And what I said was, I'm still finding my way. And my way changes as I change.   Say that again. I'm still finding my way. And my way changes as I change.   And that's where I think the direction of this podcast is going to go. It's how life changes as we change and how we can use these changes. And all the tools, I'm not forgetting all the tools, we're going to go through the tools, the things to help you get rid of anxiety, fear, depression, loneliness, all that stuff.   But realise we're finding our way. And when you're certain you're going to find your way, that's when, well, there you go. Come with me on the longer podcast, the next one to follow this.   I might still call it, I want my old me back. I might call it something else, who knows in between. But come with me, it'll be a longer, deeper dive.   It'll have a process or two to really get into understanding and feeling and grasping hold of this way of changing. So you can look forward to a wonderful future, a wonderful life. You know, creating your dreams, because I'm here to support your dreams.   Support you in getting whatever you want, because I believe you're entitled to it in this little old life. You're entitled to dream and have those dreams come true. Providing, and there is always a providing.   And the proviso is this, as long as it's good for you, the people around you, and little old planet Earth, because I want them economical. Economical? No. I want it good for the planet.   I want it good for the people around you. I want it good for you, because it makes sense then, doesn't it? So do join me on the longer podcast. Please do share this with people, anybody you can think of, because everyone, even if you say to them, hey, how you doing? Yeah, I'm good.   I'm good. We are all suffering in some way, because we're all changing. And changing gives you a little bit of a, you know, sometimes a little bit of uncertainty.   I don't want to give you certainty. So even if they're not saying that they have anxiety, fear, depression, loneliness, you fill in the blank. We all have something somewhere, don't we? That we're working through.   And this, I believe, will help you and help them. So do please share. Please press that subscribe button or follow button or whatever it is you have on your listening device of choice, because that means you won't miss out.   It'll come up on your feed and you go, yay, here comes Cloughie With. Yeah, just have a listen. And last upon last, and everyone tells you, don't keep asking too many things, but this is the third one.   If there is anything that you'd like help with, if you are having any challenges, do email me. My email address is feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. Do that, you get a personal request from me because I'm the only bugger here. And we'll create an episode just for you.   And I say just for you, but what it means is everyone gets the benefit of, because we're all suffering in some way, big, small, little, in the challenges that you have. We all have this very similar challenges, and we can transform the processes to deal with the ones that we have. Okay, please do that.   Let me know how you're getting on. Give me some feedback. Tell me if I'm talking a load of old, you know what, or if there's something you'd l

  8. Jul 17

    #485 How To Create A Life Without Becoming Lost

    Finding Your Way: When You Feel Lost in Life Have you ever quietly said to yourself, "I've lost my way"? Not necessarily out loud. Just inside your own mind. That feeling that somehow you've become disconnected from where you're going, who you're becoming, or even who you really are. In this deeper dive episode, Paul explores a personal experience of feeling lost after making significant changes in life and identity. What emerged was a surprising realisation: perhaps we don't lose our way at all. Perhaps we simply lose connection with the part of ourselves that already knows the way. This episode explores the uncomfortable space between who you've been and who you're becoming, why that space can feel like grief, and how looking outside yourself for answers often keeps you stuck. Most importantly, you'll experience a guided hypnosis and visualisation process designed to help you reconnect with your future self, discover your inner direction, and uncover the next small step on your journey. Because maybe your path isn't something you find. Maybe it's something you feel. IN THIS EPISODE • Why feeling lost often follows personal growth and change • The hidden link between identity and feeling directionless • Why searching for answers outside yourself can make things worse • The difference between finding a thing and following a direction • How your future self may already know the next step • Using emotion to communicate with your unconscious mind • Why purpose is often discovered through feeling rather than logic • A guided hypnosis process to reconnect with your inner compass KEY TAKEAWAYS ✓ Feeling lost doesn't mean you've lost your way. ✓ Identity shifts can temporarily create uncertainty and confusion. ✓ Your future self can provide guidance when your conscious mind feels stuck. ✓ Direction often appears before the destination becomes clear. ✓ Purpose is experienced through alignment and feeling, not just thinking. ✓ Small steps create clarity far more effectively than endless searching. QUOTE FROM THE EPISODE "You don't have to have the whole plan. You don't need the perfect map. Your future self doesn't hand you the whole journey. It simply nudges you, one step at a time." REFLECTION QUESTIONS • Have I really lost my way, or have I simply lost connection with myself? • What parts of my identity am I currently letting go of? • What feeling am I truly seeking in my future? • If my future self could guide me today, what small step would it suggest? • Am I searching for answers outside myself that may already exist within? CALL TO ACTION If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who may be feeling uncertain about their direction in life. https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/485-finding-your-way-when-you-feel-lost-in-life And if there is a subject you'd like explored in a future episode, email: feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com Together we'll keep exploring, learning, and evolving. Until next time... Have more fun than you can stand. Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here. Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com. Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast. Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page. Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall. And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism   Hey friend, hope you're doing well and welcome to this longer, deeper dive. And we had the FMQ, the seed of freedom versus structure, freedom or structure. But maybe that's the wrong question.   Maybe I'm asking the wrong question. Maybe a better question might be, how do I create a life that feels free without becoming lost? Okay, something to think about here straight away. If I gave you complete freedom tomorrow, what would you do? There's no schedule, no obligations, no one telling you what to do.   Sounds wonderful doesn't it? Maybe you can feel it, feel what that would feel like, complete freedom. Just imagine what you'd see, hear, feel. Yeah, but just think for a moment.   What happens on day three? What happens when no one's asking anything from you? What happens when there's no deadlines, no structure, no bloody routine? Yeah, didn't think of that did we? I mean, me personally, I've been really wrestling with this. You know, this has been deep inside with my puzzle books and all that thing. Been struggling, wrestling, trying to get a grip of it.   You see, for years, I really wanted freedom. In fact, every client of mine, when I ask them, what do you really want? They say, I just want to be free Paul, I want freedom. But the thing is, when I got closer to it, I found something surprising, and so did they.   You see, I tell you what, let's do a little bit of exploration, the first part of our dive. So take a deep breath, and let's explore this myth. I'm going to call it a myth of freedom.   You see the dream? We've all got it, we've all had it, haven't we? No alarm clocks. Oh dear. No obligations.   You don't have to do anything. No one's telling you what to do, because there's no restrictions. You have a total choice in all of this now.   Total choice, oh my. But then, what's the reality of that? What is the reality? Maybe too many choices? Hmm. Too many choices, oh wow.   Because when you have too many choices, guess what? No direction, is there? There's no momentum. I feel disconnected. I feel stuck.   Can you get that? Can you feel that? That's the way I was feeling. I was feeling stuck because of all these things I started to look at. Feel it with me.   Now you see, I have been doing a lot of work lately on myself. You see, my roles have been changing. I've been deeply into a lot of work with therapy, and I'm starting to just ease that out a bit now.   Not doing quite so much. There's a lot of activities I have been doing, and I've decided to say, well, no, actually, I'm going to push them away. I'm going to change.   And so they dropped off. And because of that, I got space. It started to appear to me.   And you see, here's the thing. I look forward to it. I did.   Because space, to me, is precious. And it sounded so wonderful, until I found I was standing right in the middle of too much space. There's just too much of it.   You see, what I found out was, freedom without direction can start to feel surprisingly like being lost. I'm going to repeat that, because that started to really get inside me. Freedom without direction can start to feel surprisingly like feeling lost.   Let's go deeper. We've done that a little bit. Let's go even deeper now.   You see, maybe it isn't freedom versus structure. This is where we started. This is where I started.   It's a bit of a false choice, really. Because that's what I'm thinking. Maybe it isn't freedom versus structure.   Maybe that was the wrong question I was asking myself. In fact, that's what I've been asking you. Maybe, instead, I ought to have been asking, what type of support allows me to be free? What type of support allows me to be free? Because that was a good question, wasn't it? You see, when you think of structure, and this is what I did, I began to think of restriction, rules, pressure, obligation.   That was stuff I used to have sometimes, but it's too much now. When I think about it now, having structure, it's too much restriction, too many rules. The pressure was on, and there was an obligation.   But here's the thing, not all structure is control. Because some structure allows you, gives you support. Here's a couple of weird examples.   You know, riverbanks create flow. They're in a pond, they're in a lake that just sits there. Sitting there's good, but we want flow, creative flow.   Music is made of scales, isn't it? Because without those scales and notes, and the structure of that, we wouldn't have music. Sometimes you need a frame around a painting to make it stand out. Because if you think about it now, and I started to think about it, it's as if everything has a structure, a strategy, and it has a strategy that it follows.   And they're the things that started to make me think. You see, without that structure, the bloody thing disappears, isn't it? You see, freedom doesn't flourish in chaos. And I think that's what happens when we have freedom.   Sometimes, you know, you can hear the chaos going on because things are too free. Freedom flourishes when it has something to grow through, feeling alive. Think about that again.   Fr

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A podcast for those wanting personal development but want it made simple and easy to understand and more importantly use, take action and make a difference to your life and the world you live in. If you want to change the way you feel and the way you act and react. If you have negative emotions, behaviours, that you want to lose forever and create something special in your life then I think you will like what you hear. This genre of self-improvement, self-development and mastery of your mind has, I believe, been made over complicated and secretive and here I am de-constructing the processes into their simple forms that we can all understand and easily use. There's no interviews just little ol' me ;0) Who am I and what do I do?………Paul Clough. I now love helping making changes in people and guiding them to create the life they really want. A personal look at me: The above sentence was not always the case and being the best in the financial realms of the building industry was my aim and getting there by any means. I now know this is, and was, the worst way ~ even if I did make director of one of the largest building companies in Cambridge by the age of 30. One of the major realisations came on my first ever training in hypnosis. I found that it's not a win lose world and that a win win is only a low basis to live. Being true to your beliefs and coming from a place of integrity where service is paramount. This understanding together with lots of NLP skills helped create my last partnership in the building industry grow from a turnover of £800k to £16m in less than twelve years and that can only be done with giving more than expected. Another shaping of me came from two traumatic events in my life that happened within six months of each other which created a number of major changes in me and by beliefs in what is possible. I have written about my experience and how I dealt with it but more importantly it really showed me my love for my three boys and theirs for me and resulted in the step up to become a trainer of NLP (which I never intended) and my close and exciting work with two of my sons. In supporting Joseph and help create change in people in our training's and his wonderful life changing 'Be your potential weekend' and with Luke the continuing development of Cambridge Hypnotherapy and Hypnosis processes. My relationship with my third son Daniel just keeps getting better and better too. Not knowing how good I had become in change work in the beginning I generally studied, practiced and saw clients then things started to happen when I started to work following just my instincts. Two clients come to mind both in effect dying from the effects of what was happening to them and the way they felt and within one and two sessions respectively not only won the will to live they changed virtually in front of my eyes and being apart of that process was and is the best feeling alive. The above are just three of many brilliant learnings I have had in my life. The more formal bit Paul Clough I am a Trainer and Master Practitioner of NLP and Hypnosis and am passionate in assisting those who want to reach their full potential and his special skills form a unique foundation for success. I constantly seek and develop new skills and learning's – through advanced levels of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), Time Line Therapy ™, Hypnosis and to improve everyone I work with. I have an understanding of the mind/body connection which enables me to create in my clients the difference that makes the difference ~ from excellence to outstanding. For those that want qualifications: Certified Trainer and Consultant of Neuro-Linguistic Programming Certified Master Practitioner of NLP & Time Line Therapy Certified Master Hypnotist and Hypnotherapist

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