The Modern Leadership Coaching Podcast

Marc & Teresa Hildebrand
  • 4.8 (99)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Weekly

Modern Leadership Coaching is where Marc and Teresa Hildebrand, a 20-year LAPD Sergeant and a former UCLA Health executive, help driven people get out of their own way and reach their next level. Real conversations about what actually holds people back, how to get your own thinking working for you instead of against you, and how to show up as who you know you can be in your business, your family, and your life. Want to go deeper? Start our free series on leading yourself through anything at https://www.modernleadership.us/lead New episodes weekly.

  1. 3d ago

    Why Curiosity Helps People More Than Any Advice You Could Give

    Send us Fan Mail The fastest way to lose someone’s trust is to “help” them too quickly. When we rush to give advice, we often solve the problem we imagine, not the problem they are actually living with, and we accidentally create distance in the very relationship we want to strengthen. We dig into the coaching mindset that changes that pattern: slow down, get curious, and ask a few more questions than feels necessary. We walk through a real leadership coaching moment with a husband who opens with a familiar line: “My wife needs to change.” Instead of jumping into mentoring mode, we explore the hidden drivers under his frustration and introduce a relationship tool we teach often: the “manual.” These are the unspoken expectations we carry for the people we love and lead, the private rules that decide whether we feel respected, heard, or cared for. We connect that to real-life triggers like the dishwasher and the trash bins, and show how quickly the brain turns neutral facts into painful stories. From there, we expand into practical coaching skills for leaders, parents, and managers: staying present, removing the pressure to have the answer, and separating adaptive challenges (mindset, meaning, identity) from technical fixes (what to say, what to do next). When the adaptive layer shifts, the technical advice finally lands. If you want to lead people well, it starts with self-leadership. If you want support building this skill, grab our free self-leadership resource at modernleadership.us/lead, and if you want us to help you get under the surface, reach out for a free call. Subscribe, share this with a friend who “fixes” too fast, and leave a review so more leaders can find the show. Most people try to solve the wrong problem. They add more effort, more information, more action, when what's actually running the show is underneath all of it. We put together a short series on how to lead yourself through whatever life puts in front of you. Start at modernleadership.us/lead

  2. Aug 3

    What Changed When We Stopped Giving Our Kids the Answer

    Send us Fan Mail The moment someone you love says “I’m struggling,” do you feel the urge to jump in with the perfect solution? We do too and it’s exactly why this conversation matters. Marc and Teresa unpack how “fixing mode” can accidentally shut people down, create dependence, and even lower psychological safety, even when our intent is pure love and protection.  We walk through two real parenting stories that changed how we lead at home. First, a school situation where repeated advice goes nowhere until Marc asks a single question that lets his son generate his own plan and actually follow through. Then, a morning routine struggle where punishments and rewards fail, but curiosity uncovers a simple experiment the child owns. The big lesson: buy-in beats tactics. When the idea is theirs, the energy, confidence, and consistency go way up and when it stops working, they learn how to adapt instead of waiting for us to rescue them.  We also zoom out to modern leadership and relationships: this is not just a parenting tool. The same coaching mindset helps with spouses, teams, and clients, especially in high-emotion topics like health, habits, and change. If you want stronger communication, more independence, and less pressure in your relationships, start practicing better questions instead of better answers.  Subscribe for more leadership coaching tools, share this with someone who’s stuck in fixing mode, and leave a review so more people can find the show. What’s one question you can ask today instead of giving advice? Most people try to solve the wrong problem. They add more effort, more information, more action, when what's actually running the show is underneath all of it. We put together a short series on how to lead yourself through whatever life puts in front of you. Start at modernleadership.us/lead

  3. Jul 27

    When Inspiring People Stopped Being Enough

    Send us Fan Mail Motivation feels like the answer until you watch it wear off. We have both lived that moment: you care, you bring energy, you share the plan, and the person still does not change. So we slow it down and tell the real story behind our shift from being “cheerleaders” to becoming coaches who can help at the root. We start with a personal turning point that still hits hard: our son Andrew was born at 28 weeks, spent 73 days in the NICU, and we were forced to face stress, fear, and the limits of sheer willpower. That season became a catalyst for Marc’s rock bottom, the internal work behind losing 100 pounds, and a new understanding of what drives sustainable behavior change. The takeaway is not a workout program. It is the mindset and identity shift that makes follow-through possible. From there, we unpack a core leadership coaching lesson: inspiration is a powerful spark, but it is only one part of the puzzle. Real change requires managing thoughts, understanding how the brain runs on autopilot, and spotting the “loops” that repeat old emotions and old actions. We talk coaching versus consulting, why frustration is actually a useful signal, and what changed when we finally invested in learning the skill of coaching so we could help people in health, relationships, teams, and business. If you’ve ever wondered why smart, capable people keep doing the thing they said they would stop doing, this conversation will give you a clearer framework and language to lead. Subscribe, share this with a friend who coaches or leads, and leave a review so more people can find Modern Leadership Coaching. Most people try to solve the wrong problem. They add more effort, more information, more action, when what's actually running the show is underneath all of it. We put together a short series on how to lead yourself through whatever life puts in front of you. Start at modernleadership.us/lead

  4. Jul 20

    Get Energy Vs Serve Energy: The Thing People Feel Before You Speak

    Send us Fan Mail If you’ve ever felt like you’re taking action but nothing is moving, this might be the missing piece: the energy underneath what you’re doing. We talk about two “rooms” you can walk into at any moment, get energy and serve energy and why the same words, the same strategy, and the same script can land completely differently depending on which one you’re carrying. It’s just the human experience, and people can often feel it before you even speak. We unpack what get energy sounds like in real life: trying to get a client, trying to get your spouse to change, trying to get your kids to listen, trying to get your team to buy in. Even when it comes from a good heart, it can create pressure, resistance, and that “something feels off” vibe that’s hard to explain. Then we show what serve energy looks like: leading with influence instead of control, helping with no strings attached, and letting outcomes be the other person’s choice. Along the way, Marc shares a personal story about years of trying to push Teresa to work out and how one shift in approach changed everything for the long term. We also go deeper on leadership and coaching by separating technical problems from adaptive problems, and why switching tactics can fail or even crush confidence when the real issue is what’s happening under the surface. If you sell, lead, coach, or parent, you’ll walk away with a simple self-check for spotting your intention in the moment and a clean way to make an offer without getting pushy or hiding. If you found this helpful, subscribe, share it with a friend who feels stuck, and leave a review with your biggest takeaway. Most people try to solve the wrong problem. They add more effort, more information, more action, when what's actually running the show is underneath all of it. We put together a short series on how to lead yourself through whatever life puts in front of you. Start at modernleadership.us/lead

  5. Jul 13

    The One Word That Changes How You Lead Yourself

    Send us Fan Mail One tiny word can quietly cap your results, and most of us never notice it happening. When we say “I can do this or that,” we’re often not making a smart decision, we’re accepting a false trade-off that blocks better answers. We dig into how “or thinking” shows up in leadership, entrepreneurship, health goals, and family life, and how a simple shift to “and” can reopen your creativity on the spot.  We walk through concrete examples that make the idea click fast: a coach who feels forced to choose between selling an offer or selling supportive products, and people who believe a demanding fitness challenge must pull them away from their family. We show how “and” thinking leads to solutions that actually work in real life, like designing habits that build connection instead of stealing it. If you’ve ever felt stuck between ambition and what you value most, this is the mindset tool that helps you stop negotiating against yourself.  We also talk about why the brain loves “or” in the first place: it saves energy by subtracting options, and it can disguise self-sabotage as responsibility. From there, we explore how to use pros and cons lists without spiralling, how to make decisions logically and then recommit emotionally, and why programs and coaches are not the thing that “fixes” you. The transformation comes from who you become while using the tools.  If you’re ready to test this immediately, listen for every “or” you say this week and replace it with “and,” then ask yourself what a third option could look like. Subscribe, share this with a friend who’s stuck in a trade-off, and leave a review so more leaders can find the show. Most people try to solve the wrong problem. They add more effort, more information, more action, when what's actually running the show is underneath all of it. We put together a short series on how to lead yourself through whatever life puts in front of you. Start at modernleadership.us/lead

  6. Jul 6

    What If This Is the Thing That Changes Everything

    Send us Fan Mail The most dangerous mindset traps are not the loud, dark thoughts. They are the ones that sound like wisdom. Marc and Teresa unpack how a “reasonable” definition of success can quietly poison your energy, distort your decisions, and make you hold back from the very people you want to serve, even when your intentions are good. If you care about self-coaching, modern leadership, and building a business without losing your integrity, this conversation hits the nerve in the best way.  We start by drawing a hard line between self-coaching and isolation. Self-coaching is not pretending you can see your own blind spots on command. It is getting a clean mirror from outside yourself, a coach, a conversation, even a book, then learning to coach yourself when life is messy and your brain wants the easy story. Along the way, we share a powerful reframe for entrepreneurs and leaders: your most valuable asset is not your intellectual property, it is you, because you are the creator and you can create again.  Then we bring it home with a real example from our own business. While building a self-coaching program, we noticed how tempting it is to design something as a bridge into the next offer, and how quickly that “logical” approach can turn into withholding value to manufacture demand. We talk about how to measure success without spiraling, why growth often feels uncomfortable before it feels empowering, and why most “marketing problems” are really belief problems wearing a technical disguise.  If you want more clarity, more courage, and a cleaner way to lead, press play, then share what came up for you. Subscribe, send this to a friend who needs the reframe, and leave a review so more leaders can find the work. Most people try to solve the wrong problem. They add more effort, more information, more action, when what's actually running the show is underneath all of it. We put together a short series on how to lead yourself through whatever life puts in front of you. Start at modernleadership.us/lead

  7. Jul 3

    Leading Yourself When you Really Want to Grow

    Send us Fan Mail If you keep chasing the perfect plan but still feel stuck, the issue might not be your strategy at all. We pull together the biggest lessons from our recent run of conversations and get brutally clear on what we see again and again in coaching: people come to us asking for tactics, but the real problem is the mindset and identity running underneath the behaviour. When your internal operating system is outdated, you can work hard, stay busy, and still get the same results.  We talk about the first step that actually changes things: awareness. Not vague “positive thinking,” but noticing what is driving you in real time, especially when the pressure hits. We break down why the same actions can produce wildly different outcomes depending on the energy behind them, whether it is health and fitness consistency, business growth and getting clients, or building deeper connection with your spouse and kids. If you are taking action from disbelief, fear of bothering people, or the story that success will cost you your relationships, your results will keep reflecting that.  Then we move into step two: building self-coaching skills you can use when life is messy, not just when you feel motivated. We explain why a one-day webinar rarely creates lasting behaviour change, why self-coaching is not isolation, and why having a system and support helps uncover blind spots in the unconscious. We also share a concrete example of how improved mind management can create tangible ROI, including financial growth, without working harder, simply by wasting less time in overthinking spirals.  If you want more consistency, confidence, and follow-through across every area of life, press play and start with the thoughts that steer the wheel. Subscribe for more, share this with a friend who is stuck in their head, and leave a review so more people can find the tools to keep leading from the front. Most people try to solve the wrong problem. They add more effort, more information, more action, when what's actually running the show is underneath all of it. We put together a short series on how to lead yourself through whatever life puts in front of you. Start at modernleadership.us/lead

  8. Jul 1

    Leading Yourself Through the Hard Seasons

    Send us Fan Mail Hard seasons don’t just hurt, they rewrite your story if you let them. When life throws a diagnosis, a job loss, family stress, or any curveball that feels out of your control, it’s easy to decide it “ruined everything” and shut down the parts of life you care about most: your relationships, your health, your goals, your business. We get real about the mental habits that keep people stuck, especially the sneaky “I can’t because…” thoughts that sound responsible but actually hand your power over to the circumstance. We talk about why this isn’t about shame, guilt, or blame, and how the brain often frames feedback like a personal attack just to keep you safe. Then we walk through what to do instead: focus on what you can control, take ownership of your inner world, and stop compounding the hard moment by obsessing over what you can’t change. You’ll hear our approach to processing pain, including the idea that life is 50-50 and the real goal is not to eliminate the negative but to keep it from expanding. We also share a practical “thought ladder” so you can shift perspective in believable steps, plus a clear warning about isolation. If you’re going through it, don’t wait until things “cool off” to get help. Reach for a therapist, a coach, or a couple of grounded people who can help you hold the line. If this helped, subscribe, share it with someone in a hard season, and leave a review so more people can find these tools. What’s one circumstance you’re ready to stop letting run your life? Most people try to solve the wrong problem. They add more effort, more information, more action, when what's actually running the show is underneath all of it. We put together a short series on how to lead yourself through whatever life puts in front of you. Start at modernleadership.us/lead

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Modern Leadership Coaching is where Marc and Teresa Hildebrand, a 20-year LAPD Sergeant and a former UCLA Health executive, help driven people get out of their own way and reach their next level. Real conversations about what actually holds people back, how to get your own thinking working for you instead of against you, and how to show up as who you know you can be in your business, your family, and your life. Want to go deeper? Start our free series on leading yourself through anything at https://www.modernleadership.us/lead New episodes weekly.

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