What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms

Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson

When you're a parent, every day brings a "fresh hell" to deal with. In other words, there's always something. Think of us as your funny mom friends who are here to remind you: you're not alone, and it won't always be this hard. We're Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables, both busy moms of three kids, but with completely different parenting styles. Margaret is a laid-back to the max; Amy never met a spreadsheet or an organizational system she didn't like. In each episode of "What Fresh Hell" we offer lots of laughs, but also practical advice, parenting strategies, and tips to empower you in your role as a mom. We explore self-help techniques, as well as ways to prioritize your own needs, combat stress, and despite the invisible workload we all deal with, find joy amidst the chaos of motherhood. If you've ever wondered "why is my kid..." then one of us has probably been there, and we're here to tell you what we've learned along the way. We unpack the behaviors and developmental stages of toddlers, tweens, and teenagers, providing insights into their actions and equipping you with effective parenting strategies. We offer our best parenting tips and skills we've learned. We debate the techniques and studies that are everywhere for parents these days, and get to the bottom of what works best to raise happy, healthy, fairly well-behaved kids, while fostering a positive parent-child relationship. If you're the default parent in your household, whether you're a busy mom juggling multiple pickups and dropoffs, or a first-time parent seeking guidance, this podcast is your trusted resource. Join our community of supportive mom friends laughing in the face of motherhood!   whatfreshhellpodcast.com

  1. Is American Parenting the Problem? Or Is It Parenting *in* America?

    1H AGO

    Is American Parenting the Problem? Or Is It Parenting *in* America?

    We're often told that the American style of parenting is inferior—that we're doing it all wrong compared to, say, a laissez-faire Parisian whose kids eat whatever is served. But is it our too intense/ too lax/ too snack-heavy parenting style that is making us (and our kids) so stressed? Or is it where we're doing that parenting? In this episode, we explore the forces shaping parenting in America today, and the ways in which other countries offer parents more support. From the pressure to “do it all” to the lack of community support, we examine how our American struggles may be rooted in American ideals. There's no doubt cultural expectations can shape our parenting decisions, leading to the "intensive parenting" that's so easy for others to criticize. But there's plenty about our circumstances as American parents that makes things harder. Our friend Janelle Hanchett (whose writing inspired this episode) was exactly right when she wrote: "As much as we may in the US give lip-service to universal healthcare, parental leave, labor rights, and childcare subsidies as key tenets of good parenting, just below these assertions is the implication that if American parents simply tried harder, they would not be so stressed and they would parent better. The narrative bombards American parents relentlessly: Others do it better because they are culturally superior. They are not better people. They live in societies with better policies." Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Jannelle Hanchett on Substack: They aren't better parents because they're culturally superior Claire Cain Miller for the NYT: Today’s Parents: ‘Exhausted, Burned Out and Perpetually Behind’ Reddit/attachmentparenting: Thoughts on “Bringing Up Bébé” book? Kate Cray for The Atlantic: Parenting in America Keeps Getting More Intensive Kate Juilan for The Atlantic: What Happened to American Childhood? Joe Pinsker for The Atlantic: ‘Intensive’ Parenting Is Now the Norm in America Patrick Ishizuka for Social Forces journal: Social Class, Gender, and Contemporary Parenting Standards in the United States: Evidence from a National Survey Experiment Yu-Chin Her for Population Research and Policy Review: Having Fun or Having Kids? Leisure Aspirations and Attitudes Toward Parenthood in Europe Susan Kelley for The Cornell Chronicle: Hands-on, intensive parenting is best, most parents say What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    44 min
  2. DEEP DIVE: Olivia Martinez-Hauge on Special Needs Parenting

    2D AGO

    DEEP DIVE: Olivia Martinez-Hauge on Special Needs Parenting

    This Deep Dive series revisits some of our past episodes about the joys and the challenges that come with raising kids with differences and disabilities. Olivia Martinez-Hauge is a marriage and family therapist specializing in the treatment of families, couples, and individuals who are caregiving for children or adults with neurodiversity. She is also a licensed occupational therapist with over two decades of experience helping children and their families. She is also a mother of three children, two with neurodiversity. In this "Fresh Take" interview, Olivia explains the grief and isolation that might come with special needs parenting her own journey moving past those emotions by parenting "from a place of present" the team of support that a parent of a special needs child needs how we can change our friend groups, schools, and societies to be more supportive of families with children who have special needs Whether you're a parent of a special needs or neurodiverse child, or just want to be a better friend to someone who is, you'll learn so much from this interview. Find out more about Olivia and her work at The Center for Connection and Neurodiversity here: https://www.thecenterforconnection.org/ What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    35 min
  3. Fresh Take: Elizabeth Preston on What Animals Have to Teach Us About Parenting

    5D AGO

    Fresh Take: Elizabeth Preston on What Animals Have to Teach Us About Parenting

    Why does modern parenting feel so difficult? If a chimpanzee knows what to do without reading a hundred parenting books, why doesn't it just come naturally? Science journalist and author Elizabeth Preston is the author of The Creatures' Guide to Caring: How Animal Parents Teach Us That Humans Were Born to Care. Drawing from animal behavior, evolutionary biology, and neuroscience, this book explains why studying the parenting of every species from poison frogs to bonobos, from rats to birds, can remind us how human parenting is supposed to work—and how parental anxiety may result from the belief we were ever supposed to do things differently. In this episode, we discuss: Why humans are “cooperative breeders” Why maternal anxiety and hypervigilance is an evolutionary advantage, not a personal failure The truth about “mom brain” and what actually happens to the brain during pregnancy Why fathers and non-biological caregivers are equally capable of deep caregiving The role of alloparenting and why kids benefit from many trusted adults Why caregiving is central to what makes us human Here's where you can find Elizabeth: https://elizabethgpreston.com/ @by.elizabeth.preston on IG https://elizabethgpreston.substack.com/ Buy THE CREATURES' GUIDE TO CARING: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593657102 What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    36 min
  4. Getting Our Kids to Help Around the House

    APR 29

    Getting Our Kids to Help Around the House

    How do you get kids to help out—ever, at all—without default resistance that makes it feel like it's not worth the trouble of your having asked? Kids *should* contribute to their families' lives without their parents resorting to nagging or threats. Kids in other cultures, we are told, participate willingly and fully. Why does this seem so hard for so many of us? We discuss: Whether "chores" framing is part of the problem How gender roles shape the expectations of who's helping Whether they have to like participating for it to matter Why we seem to find this harder than our parents did Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Susan Newman for Psychology Today: Raising Baby Hunter-Gatherer Style Jennifer Katzenstein for Johns Hopkins Medicine Wellness and Prevention blog: How to Get Your Kids to Do Chores Reem Raouda for CNBC Make It: I’ve studied over 200 kids—parents who have an easy time getting their children to listen never use these 5 ‘toxic’ phrases Amy Sutherland for the NYT: What Shamu Taught Me About a Healthy Marriage Frank Bruni for the NYT: Tolstoy and Miss Daisy Deborah Gilboa: GET THE BEHAVIOR YOU WANT...WITHOUT BEING THE PARENT YOU HATE! Our Fresh Take with Michaeleen Doucleff, author of HUNT, GATHER, PARENT Subscribe to our newsletter here! What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    45 min
  5. DEEP DIVE: Dr. Lynn Koegel on the Hidden Brilliance of Autism

    APR 27

    DEEP DIVE: Dr. Lynn Koegel on the Hidden Brilliance of Autism

    This Deep Dive series revisits some of our past episodes about the joys and the challenges that come with raising kids with differences and disabilities. What if we're looking at autism in the wrong way? Dr. Lynn Koegel, co-author of ⁠Hidden Brilliance: Unlocking the Intelligence of Autism⁠, explains how to engage with the strengths in kids with autism rather than focusing on what they're lacking. ⁠Dr. Lynn Koegel⁠ is a clinical professor at the Stanford School of Medicine. She and her husband developed Pivotal Response Treatment which focuses on motivation. She has been supporting autistic individuals for more than 40 years. Dr. Koegel and Margaret discuss: Why we're focusing on the wrong things when we assess kids with autism The power of peer support Connecting authentically with kids with autism Dr. Koegel explains that professionals are often trained to look at what's "wrong" with children with autism rather than what's right. It helps to look at the differences in children with autism, as Margaret likes to say, as morally neutral. Here's where you can find Lynn: ⁠autismPRThelp.com⁠ ⁠@lynn.koegel on Facebook⁠ ⁠hidden-brilliance.org⁠ What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    36 min
  6. Fresh Take: Leah Ruppanner on "DRAINED" and What the 'Mental Load' Really Means

    APR 24

    Fresh Take: Leah Ruppanner on "DRAINED" and What the 'Mental Load' Really Means

    Are women really better at all the things we do? Or are we just used to doing more? Amy talks with sociologist and author Leah Ruppanner, author of the new book DRAINED, about her definition of the "mental load" and why so many women feel constantly overwhelmed. Leah defines the mental load as much more than keeping track of tasks. It’s deeply emotional work tied to caring for others, anticipating needs, and managing relationships. In this interview Leah breaks down the different types of mental load, from organizing daily life to providing emotional support, maintaining relationships, creating special moments for families, and supporting everyone else’s goals. While many partners contribute in visible ways, much of this broader, invisible work still falls to women. Leah also shares a practical framework for evaluating your mental load: understanding where your energy is going, who you’re carrying, and what you can delegate, drop, or rebalance. When reducing the load isn’t possible, rest and recovery become essential. Think of yourself as the family MVP. This episode is a reminder that the mental load is real, complex, and worth examining—and that making it visible is the first step toward meaningful change. Here's where you can find Leah: @prof.leahruppanner on Instagram, TikTok The Miss Perceived Podcast https://www.leahruppanner.com Buy DRAINED: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593850909 What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    45 min
  7. Emotional Intelligence: Can It Be Taught?

    APR 22

    Emotional Intelligence: Can It Be Taught?

    What is emotional intelligence, exactly? Is it the yin to IQ's yang? Is it equally crucial to our success and well-being? In this episode we talk about what EQ (or EI, depending on who you're asking) actually means, why it matters, and whether it can be taught to both adults and kids. We discuss: The four core components of emotional intelligence: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship skills (plus what's been taken off the list) Why emotional intelligence is morally neutral Why neurodivergent kids may experience emotional intelligence differently Practical ways to help kids build emotional intelligence Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Suzanne Ross for The Explainer: What is emotional intelligence and why do you need it? Crystal Ott for Ohio University Extension: What is Emotional Intelligence? Daniel Goleman on LinkedIn: The Four Domains of Emotional Intelligence Adam Grant for Medium: The Dark Side of Emotional Intelligence Peg Rosen for Understood.org: Emotional intelligence: What it means for kids Brigham Young University: Study visually captures hard truth: Walking home at night is not the same for women University of Cambridge Judge Business School: The psychologist who reminds us that emotions affect our working lives Find all of our guests' books, as well as books we personally recommend: https://bookshop.org/shop/whatfreshhellcast What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    44 min
  8. DEEP DIVE: Kate Swenson of "Finding Cooper's Voice" on Parenting Autism

    APR 20

    DEEP DIVE: Kate Swenson of "Finding Cooper's Voice" on Parenting Autism

    This Deep Dive series revisits some of our past episodes about the joys and the challenges that come with raising kids with differences and disabilities. Kate Swenson writes and creates videos about her life as a mother of four and and an autism advocate for ⁠"Finding Cooper's Voice⁠," a living, thriving community of people who not only advocate for autism, but also make the world a better place for individuals with disabilities and their families. We discuss Kate's book ⁠Forever Boy: A Mother's Memoir of Autism and Finding Joy⁠ and her nonprofit ⁠The More Than Project, ⁠which supports the needs of special needs families that go beyond the needs of their special needs child. Kate tells us about: Kate's journey to finding the correct diagnosis for her child what led her to put her story out into the world the sometimes-loneliness of special needs parenting, and how the Finding Cooper's Voice community offers insight, support, and fellowship Get FOREVER BOY in our Bookshop store: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780778311997 and follow @findingcoopersvoice on Facebook and Instagram. What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    32 min
4.8
out of 5
1,009 Ratings

About

When you're a parent, every day brings a "fresh hell" to deal with. In other words, there's always something. Think of us as your funny mom friends who are here to remind you: you're not alone, and it won't always be this hard. We're Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables, both busy moms of three kids, but with completely different parenting styles. Margaret is a laid-back to the max; Amy never met a spreadsheet or an organizational system she didn't like. In each episode of "What Fresh Hell" we offer lots of laughs, but also practical advice, parenting strategies, and tips to empower you in your role as a mom. We explore self-help techniques, as well as ways to prioritize your own needs, combat stress, and despite the invisible workload we all deal with, find joy amidst the chaos of motherhood. If you've ever wondered "why is my kid..." then one of us has probably been there, and we're here to tell you what we've learned along the way. We unpack the behaviors and developmental stages of toddlers, tweens, and teenagers, providing insights into their actions and equipping you with effective parenting strategies. We offer our best parenting tips and skills we've learned. We debate the techniques and studies that are everywhere for parents these days, and get to the bottom of what works best to raise happy, healthy, fairly well-behaved kids, while fostering a positive parent-child relationship. If you're the default parent in your household, whether you're a busy mom juggling multiple pickups and dropoffs, or a first-time parent seeking guidance, this podcast is your trusted resource. Join our community of supportive mom friends laughing in the face of motherhood!   whatfreshhellpodcast.com

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