
6 episodes

CHILDPROOF: Tony Martin & Geraldine Quinn Bad Producer Productions
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- Comedy
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5.0 • 8 Ratings
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Winner of Best Comedy at the 2018 Australian Podcast Awards, CHILDPROOF is an unproduced TV sitcom written by Tony Martin and Sarina Rowell.
The six episodes were performed live at the 2017 Melbourne Fringe by Tony Martin, Geraldine Quinn, Roz Hammond, Andrew McClelland, Damian Cowell, Cristina Laria, Djovan Caro and Lachy Hulme, with a gaggle of guests and narration by Jay Mueller.
It concerns those controversial types, the ‘childfree by choice’. They've been called ‘selfish’, ‘immature’, ‘unfulfilled’ and even ‘unAustralian’ – by their own families! Out of step with a world that exalts the traditional family unit above all else, Ian and Jennifer are also battling extinction in their workplaces – commercial radio and book publishing.
Contains foul language. Not suitable for children.
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Episode 1 - Bring the Kids
Ian and Jennifer, a happily childfree couple, don’t fit in at work, where family values are ascendant, or at home, where all their friends are having kids.
Starring:
GERALDINE QUINN as Jennifer and Bec
TONY MARTIN as Ian and Tarquin
ROZ HAMMOND as Caitlin, Shelley and Claire
ANDREW McCLELLAND as Mike Pomfrey and Wayne
DAMIAN COWELL as John
CRISTINA LARIA as Brittany
DJOVAN CARO as Paul
and LACHY HULME as Sturgo and Sir Leo
With guests:
SIMON ROGERS as Ted
SARINA ROWELL as Kerry and the Receptionist
and SAM PETERSEN as Dion
And JAY MUELLER as the Narrator.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. -
Episode 2 - In the Vichysoisse
Ian and Jennifer become the public face of ‘child-hating’ after an incident with a screaming child at a restaurant propels them onto the front pages.
Starring:
GERALDINE QUINN as Jennifer and Bec
TONY MARTIN as Ian and Tarquin
ROZ HAMMOND as Caitlin, Mandy-Anne and the Angry Mother
ANDREW McCLELLAND as Mike Pomfrey and the Waiter
DAMIAN COWELL as John
CRISTINA LARIA as Brittany
DJOVAN CARO as the Maitre’D
and LACHY HULME as Sturgo and Mal Paget
With guests:
SIMON ROGERS as Roderick
and SARINA ROWELL and SAM PETERSEN as Society Members
And JAY MUELLER as the Narrator.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. -
Episode 3 - A Long Weekend
Ian and Jennifer are forced to look after three young children over a long and increasingly disastrous Anzac Day weekend.
Starring:
GERALDINE QUINN as Jennifer and Bec
TONY MARTIN as Ian and Tarquin
ROZ HAMMOND as Caitlin, Shelley and Katie
ANDREW McCLELLAND as Mike Pomfrey and Wayne
DAMIAN COWELL as John
CRISTINA LARIA as Brittany
DJOVAN CARO as Captain Keith and the Kids
and LACHY HULME as Sturgo, Henry and Sir Leo
With guests:
CASEY BENNETTO as Christos Tsiolkas
and SAM PETERSEN as Ernie Dingo
And JAY MUELLER as the Narrator.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. -
Episode 4 - Child Labour
Ian finds himself competing with the work experience kid, while Jennifer pretends to have a foster child in order to reap the benefits at work.
Starring:
GERALDINE QUINN as Jennifer and Bec
TONY MARTIN as Ian, Tarquin and Gavin Wood
ROZ HAMMOND as Caitlin
ANDREW McCLELLAND as Mike Pomfrey, Jeff and Con the Fruiterer
DAMIAN COWELL as John
CRISTINA LARIA as Brittany
DJOVAN CARO as Cyrus, Anton and Hurley
and LACHY HULME as Sturgo and Sir Leo
With guests:
SAM PETERSEN as Mitchell Block
and LEE SIMON and BRIAN MANNIX as Themselves
And JAY MUELLER as the Narrator.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. -
Episode 5 - The Cat's Pajamas
Ian and Jennifer get a cat and become even more obsessive than the baby-mad parents they so frequently mock.
Starring:
GERALDINE QUINN as Jennifer and Bec
TONY MARTIN as Ian and Tarquin
ROZ HAMMOND as Caitlin, Shelley and Trish
ANDREW McCLELLAND as Mike Pomfrey, Wayne and Judy
DAMIAN COWELL as John
CRISTINA LARIA as Brittany
DJOVAN CARO as Shane
and LACHY HULME as Sturgo
With guests:
SARINA ROWELL as the Receptionist
and SAM PETERSEN as Mitchell Block and Dion
And JAY MUELLER as the Narrator.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. -
Episode 6 - Baby Fever
Ian and Jennifer assist with a home birth and, with their jobs in jeopardy, consider a lucrative offer to become surrogate parents.
Starring:
GERALDINE QUINN as Jennifer and Bec
TONY MARTIN as Ian and Tarquin
ROZ HAMMOND as Caitlin and Claire
ANDREW McCLELLAND as Mike Pomfrey
DAMIAN COWELL as John
CRISTINA LARIA as Brittany and Kat
DJOVAN CARO as Captain Keith and the Wingnut
and LACHY HULME as Sturgo and Barry Ginnane.
With guests:
SARINA ROWELL as Baby Shower Mum
and SAM PETERSEN as Burnsey
And JAY MUELLER as the Narrator.
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See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Customer Reviews
So funny for the child free crowd...
Very entertaining and true to live. Loving this podcast.
Outstanding
I can’t believe how much I fell in love with this in the first minute. It’s hilarious, live reads...like old time radio but with more swears.
Count me in. I love some marvelously constructed comedy. You’ll be doing yourself an injustice by not having a listen!