Bereaved But Still Me

HUG Podcast Network
  • 5.0 (10)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Monthly

"Bereaved But Still Me" is a podcast for the bereaved community that was formerly known as "Heart to Heart with Michael." As we entered Season 5, we decided to rebrand our podcast to make it easier for the bereaved community to find us. "Bereaved But Still Me" is a product of the Hearts Unite the Globe Network of Podcasts. Our Host is Michael Liben, our Producer is Nancy Taylor Jensen, and our Executive Producer is Anna Jaworski. Our monthly program has been designed to empower, educate, and support the bereaved community. New episodes are broadcast every 1st Thursday of the month. For more information about the "Bereaved But Still Me," please check out our website: www.heartsunitetheglobe.org and look at the "Bereaved But Still Me" tab. To support the podcast, use this link: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/bereaved-but-still-me--2108929/support

  1. A Vietnam Widow At 19 Finds A Way Forward

    Jun 4

    A Vietnam Widow At 19 Finds A Way Forward

    (00:00:00) The Knock That Changes Everything (00:00:33) Welcome And Ellen’s Story (00:01:33) Nineteen And Dreaming Of A Future (00:03:08) Six Weeks Married Then Goodbye (00:04:36) The Telegram And Raw Shock (00:08:31) When Grief Gets Misunderstood (00:09:53) Finding Meaning Through New Friends (00:12:14) Overdose And The Choice To Stay (00:16:20) Rejecting The Widow Identity (00:18:13) Meditation And Beliefs That Help (00:21:24) Writing The Memoir As War Returns (00:28:32) Closing Reflections And Next Steps A telegram at the door can split your life into “before” and “after.” Ellen M. Laura knows that moment intimately. At 19, she’s newly married, writing letters to her husband Brian in Vietnam, dreaming about California and a future that finally feels like it’s starting. Then Marine officers arrive with a priest, and she becomes a widow after only six weeks of marriage. The shock isn’t quiet or tidy, it’s rage, denial, numbness, and a body that can’t make sense of what’s happening. Michael Liben and Ellen talk about what comes next when the world expects you to “be strong” while also having no idea what to say to you. We dig into grief literacy, the cruel comments people make when they’re uncomfortable, and the isolating feeling of being treated like a problem to manage instead of a person in pain. We also connect that early trauma to the way grief triggers work years later, especially when war returns to the headlines and your nervous system reacts before you can think. Ellen shares the darkest part of her story, including a suicide attempt soon after Brian’s death, and the moment she decides she has to find a deeper path. From meditation and yoga to spiritual questioning and beliefs about life continuing, she explains what helped her move through anger and finally weave grief into her identity without being defined as a victim. We also talk about why she revisited and revised her memoir, Love In The Shadow Of Saigon, and how new conflict and propaganda pushed her to speak out again. If you care about grief support, bereavement healing, trauma after sudden loss, widowhood at a young age, or the long arc of meaning-making, this conversation offers honesty and tools you can sit with. Subscribe to Bereaved But Still Me, share this with someone who needs a steady voice, and leave a review so more grieving people can find us. Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/bereaved-but-still-me--2108929/support.

    30 min
  2. Grief Through Two Lenses: Therapist and Survivor

    May 7

    Grief Through Two Lenses: Therapist and Survivor

    (00:00:00) A Grounding Breath To Begin (00:01:29) Jesse’s Losses And Calling (00:03:26) What People Get Wrong About Grief (00:04:15) What People Get Wrong About Grief (00:09:00) Individual Timelines And Real Empathy (00:12:37) Grieving As A Therapist (00:14:05) Small Practices For Stuck Grief (00:17:04) Humor As Release And Connection (00:20:18) Supporting Grief That Looks Different (00:22:08) Supporting Grief That Looks Different (00:23:49) Live Better Course And Farewell The weirdest part of grief is how quickly we start judging it. Too much crying means you’re “not coping.” Not enough crying means you “didn’t love them enough.” And if you laugh for a moment, it can feel like betrayal. We sit with all of that honestly and gently, and we name what so many people are afraid to say out loud: grief doesn’t follow a script, and trying to force it into one can make the pain sharper. I’m joined by Jesse Rafeh, a licensed marriage and family therapist whose life has been shaped by profound loss, including multiple suicides in her family and the recent death of her father. Jesse brings a trauma-informed, emotional regulation-focused approach to bereavement that makes room for the full spectrum of reactions, from being unable to get out of bed to functioning “too well” while quietly carrying the weight. We also talk about what it means to feel truly understood, why empathy changes the nervous system, and how rituals, presence, and permission can support long-term grief. We get practical too: what to do when you feel stuck, how to tell the difference between your inner compass and your survival voice, and why the smallest tool can be the most powerful one, stopping to breathe and asking what you need right now. We also explore humor as release, not avoidance, and why moving forward is not moving away. If you’re searching for grief support, bereaved parent resources, or simple coping with loss practices you can use today, you’ll find real footing here. If something resonates, share this with someone who needs it, subscribe so you don’t miss the next conversation, and leave a review to help more grieving people find support. What’s one thing you wish others understood about your grief? Jesse’s website: https://live-better.me/       Jesse’s Instagram: @jesserafeh Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/bereaved-but-still-me--2108929/support.

    27 min
  3. When A Dream Shuts Down: Grieving A Business Closure After COVID-19

    Apr 2

    When A Dream Shuts Down: Grieving A Business Closure After COVID-19

    (00:00:00) Introducing Christina Vidovich (00:01:40) Dance Studio As Family (00:02:22) COVID Closes The Doors for Good (00:08:28) Creating a Goodbye Without Ritual (00:15:55) Releasing Blame and Reclaiming Worth (00:21:21) Turning Grief into a New Voice (00:26:18) Women Getting Visible and Brave Stories A studio can be more than a business. It can be your calendar, your friendships, your creative outlet, your sense of worth, and the place where you watch other people become themselves. When that disappears overnight, the grief is real, even if no one brings flowers or holds a service. We sit down with Christina Vitovich, international speaker, producer, and founder of Women Getting Visible, to name a loss that often goes unseen: grieving the end of a livelihood and the identity wrapped around it. After spending more than 20 years building a thriving ballroom dance community, COVID forced a permanent closure, and the shock hit her nervous system hard. Christina talks honestly about insomnia, the hollow quiet of an empty room, and the strange pain of losing something that is not a person but still feels like family. We also dig into what helps healing actually begin. Christina shares the ritual she created to say goodbye, why it took years to speak about dance again, and how acceptance grows when you stop treating an uncontrollable event like a personal failure. From there, the conversation turns practical and hopeful: transferable skills, finding your voice again, and building community without a brick-and-mortar space through podcasting, speaking, and women’s events around the world. If you are facing career loss, business closure, identity shifts, or complicated grief, you will leave with language for what you feel and steps to keep moving forward without pretending it did not hurt. Subscribe, share this with someone rebuilding after a loss, and leave a review so more listeners can find support. Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/bereaved-but-still-me--2108929/support.

    31 min
  4. A Near-Death Encounter, A Father’s Legacy

    Mar 5

    A Near-Death Encounter, A Father’s Legacy

    Grief isn’t an ending; it’s a relationship that changes. Judy Tashbook Safern joins us with a story that stops the clock: cascading surgeries, pneumonia, and a coma that opens into an enveloping light and a felt encounter with God. She returns with a message—“you are necessary”—only to learn that her father, a larger-than-life psychoanalyst and professor who built Jewish community in West Texas, has been diagnosed with advanced liver cancer and passes within days. The timeline feels like a switch, a mystery that begs hard questions about fate, faith, and why one life continues while another concludes. We explore the details that make this more than a headline. Judy paints her father through action: freezer trucks of kosher meat hauled across states, hand-typed holiday invitations posted around a university and an Air Force base, and a seven-hour drive to Dallas and back for Passover staples. When she wakes, pain floods back; survivor’s guilt arrives fast. Grounded in Jewish mourning practices—shiva, shloshim, and a year of gentler abstentions—she sits shiva alone on a hospital floor, 10,000 miles from her family, learning how ritual can still hold when improvised. She also draws on a lineage tied to Rabbi Isaac Luria to give vocabulary to the inexplicable, without forcing certainty where only awe belongs. What follows is a living bond. Judy senses her father in small joys and sharp wit, at Seders where his annual pilgrimage becomes family lore, and in quiet moments when purpose feels like a vow. The lesson she brought back from the light reframes worth beyond roles—parent, partner, child—while still honoring how love threads those roles with meaning. If you’ve wondered whether the dead keep shaping our days, or how to carry a legacy without being crushed by it, this conversation offers language, practice, and hope. If this resonated, subscribe, share with a friend who needs it, and leave a review to help others find the show. Tell us: how do you keep your continuing bonds alive? Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/bereaved-but-still-me--2108929/support.

    34 min
  5. The Intimacy of Death

    Feb 5

    The Intimacy of Death

    A heartbeat in your ear changes how you see a person. That’s where we begin—with the intimacy of listening and the quiet vigilance of an anesthetist whose job is to guide people to the brink and bring them safely home. Frank Jaworski has lived at that edge for decades, and he joins us to share what most of us never witness: how dignity is protected in the operating room, what families truly need in the ICU, and why the smallest human gestures can calm a storm of fear. Frank takes us from early regret after his mother’s death to a clear-eyed choice to spare his father futile procedures, revealing how experience reframes hope and mercy. He explains the real work of anesthesia—constant scanning, pattern recognition, and presence—while separating sleep, anesthesia, and death with honesty that reassures rather than frightens. We talk about awareness under anesthesia, the art of waking someone with their own name, and the role of humor when it helps and restraint when it doesn’t. Along the way, we visit the hardest rooms: resuscitations that look like violence because they must be, the unforgettable sight of broken ribs in the pursuit of a heartbeat, and the moral whiplash of organ donation after brain death when the machine turns off and the caregiver walks away. What emerges is a practical, compassionate guide to the end of life. You’ll hear how to talk with clinicians, why planning matters, and how presence—touch, voice, and attention—transforms final moments into something sacred. This conversation offers comfort without illusion, clarity without coldness, and a reminder that love shows up in the smallest, steadiest ways. If this moved you, share it with someone who needs the language for a hard conversation. Subscribe for more stories at the intersection of grief, medicine, and meaning, and leave a review to help others find their way here. Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/bereaved-but-still-me--2108929/support.

    43 min
  6. How We Teach Children To Face Grief And Move Forward

    Jan 1

    How We Teach Children To Face Grief And Move Forward

    Grief doesn’t run on a schedule, and kids feel that truth in their bones. We sit down with author and grief group facilitator Ta'Shay Mason to unpack how children experience loss, why feelings often arrive in waves, and what adults can do to create safety without forcing conversation. From a mother’s steady persistence to the surprising comfort of equine-assisted activities, Ta'Shay shares practical ways to help kids express themselves when words feel too heavy. You’ll hear about a powerful memorial option many families don’t know exists: eco-friendly reef balls that incorporate a loved one’s ashes and become a living habitat for marine life. Families decorate the form together with handprints, shells, and ribbons, then watch it lowered into the sea and receive coordinates to visit later. This ritual turns goodbye into a shared act of care for the ocean, giving children something tangible, creative, and hopeful to hold onto. We also talk about common dynamics like anger, magical thinking, and memory gaps, and how to normalize them with honest language and gentle choices. Ta'Shay walks us through her series A Child’s Journey Through Grief, where a nine-year-old learns to say goodbye, finds connection in group therapy, and builds new traditions for birthdays and recitals. The core takeaway: don’t push kids to “move on.” Help them move forward—one story, one photo, one small tradition at a time. If you’re supporting a child or navigating your own loss, you’ll leave with grounded strategies, fresh ideas for memorials, and a kinder framework for the long road of remembrance. If this conversation helped you, subscribe, share it with someone who’s grieving, and leave a review so more families can find these tools. Here's Ta'Shay's website: https://tashay-mason.com/books Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/bereaved-but-still-me--2108929/support.

    31 min
  7. Hope All The Way with Theo Boyd

    12/04/2025

    Hope All The Way with Theo Boyd

    A life can fall apart and still grow deeper roots. That’s the energy of our conversation with award-winning author and podcaster Theo Boyd, whose first memoir sparked national attention and whose next book, Hope All the Way, turns tender signs and hard data into a roadmap for living with loss. We begin with the question so many grievers whisper: am I doing this right? Theo shares how formal training validated what her heart already knew—there’s no single path, but there are better choices. Integrated grief becomes our north star: building a future that holds the past, telling stories that keep loved ones present, and creating rituals that transform memory into momentum. We move from personal to cultural with Theo’s original national study, The Silent Weight of Grief in America. The findings are striking: most grieving Americans want more media that actually teaches coping, while many feel pressure to hide their sorrow, especially younger millennials. We talk about why people look to media for guidance, how that can help or hurt, and what needs to change across workplaces, schools, and social feeds to normalize grief literacy. Instead of vague platitudes, we offer concrete language and practices that lower the burden: permission to feel, community that listens, and habits that anchor the day. Threaded through it all are the signs Theo trusts: a partner whose life echoes her parents, a song about dirt that sent her home, and a plan to build on the family farm with pieces of the old house woven into the new. Hope becomes tangible—recipes saved for the holidays, a notebook on the kitchen table, fences repaired, pastures prepared. It’s the opposite of moving on; it’s carrying forward with care. If you’ve struggled to reconcile love and loss, you’ll leave with language, perspective, and a few next steps that make the weight easier to bear. If this conversation resonated, follow the show, share it with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more people can find tools and hope when they need it most. To learn more about Theo, visit her website: https://thinktheo.com/ Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/bereaved-but-still-me--2108929/support.

    23 min
  8. The Acceptance Ladder: Climbing From Curse To Gift with Stephen Nawotniak

    11/06/2025

    The Acceptance Ladder: Climbing From Curse To Gift with Stephen Nawotniak

    (00:00:00) Authenticity, Grief, And Purpose (00:00:55) Meet Stephen: Trek, Diagnosis, And Work (00:02:04) Hospitalization And The Two Lies Of Depression (00:04:52) Medication, Perspective, And Self-Talk As Opinion (00:06:00) Daily Function: Rest Breaks And Zero Days (00:08:23) Fulfillment Over Happiness (00:09:01) Identity Shift: I Have It, I’m Not It (00:12:01) Reframing Negative Self-Talk For Everyone (00:14:59) From Stigma To Self-Acceptance (00:17:20) The Acceptance Ladder Explained (00:20:19) Children’s Books And Finding Self Within (00:23:10) Speaking, Resources, And Perspective Shift (00:25:21) Closing Reflections And Takeaways We explore how perspective turns pain into purpose, from hospitalization and stigma to practical tools that make tough days workable. Stephen Nawotniak shares the Acceptance Ladder, reframing self-talk, and small habits that change how we move through depression and bipolar. • two lies of depression and how to challenge them • medication as intensity-softener, not magic cure • negative self-talk as opinion rather than fact • fulfillment over happiness as a daily aim • zero days, rest breaks and night-before prep • identity shift from I am to I have • community stigma vs self-stigma and selective disclosure • the Acceptance Ladder from curse to gift • turning pain into purpose through service and craft • children’s books that guide an inner journey • personal growth vs illness management framing If this conversation resonates, share it with someone who needs real, usable tools. Subscribe for new episodes, leave a review to help others find the show, and tell us: which rung of the Acceptance Ladder are you on today? Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/bereaved-but-still-me--2108929/support.

    33 min
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5
out of 5
10 Ratings

About

"Bereaved But Still Me" is a podcast for the bereaved community that was formerly known as "Heart to Heart with Michael." As we entered Season 5, we decided to rebrand our podcast to make it easier for the bereaved community to find us. "Bereaved But Still Me" is a product of the Hearts Unite the Globe Network of Podcasts. Our Host is Michael Liben, our Producer is Nancy Taylor Jensen, and our Executive Producer is Anna Jaworski. Our monthly program has been designed to empower, educate, and support the bereaved community. New episodes are broadcast every 1st Thursday of the month. For more information about the "Bereaved But Still Me," please check out our website: www.heartsunitetheglobe.org and look at the "Bereaved But Still Me" tab. To support the podcast, use this link: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/bereaved-but-still-me--2108929/support

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