Monster Crush Monster Crush

In the March of Madness is back with PART TWO - THE WESTERN CONFERENCE (not that the cardinal direction has any meaning here). We are back with even more eldritch horrors to drive you to the very brink of madness... in a sexy way? Get ready the final rounds of our Salty 17-single-elimination-smiooch bracket featuring more tentacles and mouths than you can literally imagine. So strap in and strap on because we're going even deeper on this one.

Featuring: Eastern Conference recap, Daggy Dagon, Lovecraft is still trash, Spooky News!, Mothman’s new ink, 10 feet on ground/30 feet in air, THE WESTERN CONFERENCE, Late Night with Conan The Barbarian, Don’t mess with snakes, The King in Yellow is a Man of Mystery, Instant mummy, Twilight “toys”, “Six-legged polar bear with a narwhal horn”, even cosmic horrors gossip, The toughest decision LD has ever had to make    

CW: Tentacles (general Lovecraftian theme), implied non-consent (general Lovecraftian theme), madness/mental illness as a general “eldritch” concept, real world tragedy (i.e. Bridge Collapse) at 17:00-17:33, Mention of suicide/gun violence 19:45-21:26, Mentions of ill/infirm loved ones 20:00-21:00, Implied harm to animals 27:30-28:00, living mummification/paralysis 43:00-45:00
We are proud to be a part of the Sword & Key Network. Our music is by the handsome and talented Nick Lambert. Find him on Instagram @lambertropolis. All other music and sounds are licensed through Epidemic Sounds.

In the spirit of March Madness we give you a showdown between some of the most madness-inducing monsters ever imagined. Get ready for In The March of Madness, a 17-monster single-elimination bracket featuring some of the most notable eldritch horrors of Lovecraftian fiction. We get really deep with these old ones as we narrow down who is the most smoochable cosmic horror.



Featuring: Lovecraft is a piece of **** but his monsters are neat, the worst name for a cat, THE EASTERN CONFERENCE, big fish vs. flaccid volcano, galaxy-sized mass of swirling tentacles vs. flappy slug that controls dolphins, plus some major upsets and so much more!



CW: the racism, xenophobia, misogyny, and otherwise ultra-conservatism of H.P. Lovecraft, discussions of "madness" outside of mental health definitions, mention of SA, occultism



We are proud to be a part of the Sword & Key Network. Our music is by the handsome and talented Nick Lambert. Find him on Instagram @lambertropolis. All other music and sounds are licensed through Epidemic Sounds.

WaHOOO Happy Mario Day! Or rather Happy March 10 (MAR10)! To celebrate we pulled inspiration from everyone’s favorite plumber/shell-stomper to present two monsters from the real-world. So make sure you have extra lives and get ready for The Tanuki and the Kayeri!. The Tanuki is a yokai from Japanese folklore and mythology which presents as a shapeshifting racoon dog with a massive set of… attributes. Meanwhile the Kayeri are giant mushroom monsters Cuiba people of Colombia and Venezuela. Will LD find love with these monsters? Listen to find out! 



Featuring: Our first Mario games, who we main in Mario Kart and what that says about us, some Mario facts and history, we are not a video game podcast, the most useful balls in monsterdom, prankster yokai, playground songs about monster scrotums, super strong fungi, mushrooms will take your daughters and your cows, and what if the balls are… too big?



CW: A LOT of genital talk in this one, mentions of trickery/deception/gaslighting, mentions of kidnapping, mentions of damage to internal organs/death



We are proud to be a part of the Sword & Key Network. Our music is by the handsome and talented Nick Lambert. Find him on Instagram @lambertropolis. All other music and sounds are licensed through Epidemic Sounds.

Take the jump with us into a whole new series of dates! For this Leap Year Derek presents LD with two monsters who use jumping as their primary means of motion. So hop on in, strap on, and strap in for the Pérák, the Spring Man of Prague, and the Jiangshi, the hopping vampires of China. Also, get ready for some Spooky News that also weirdly features a jumping monster and just so much more. 



Featuring: Jumping as the best method of movement, happy Leap Year to all the “Bisextiles”, Leap Year traditions, Leap Year Monsters that will break your heart, Spooky News!, Japanese chode snakes will boost the economy, The Spring Man is the Czech Captain America, Hopping for Qi, unkillable monsters with way too many weaknesses, recognizing red flags, and MORE.



CW: Mentions of attacks, mentions of sexual assault, discussions of WWII, discussions of war, discussions of death/corpses
We are proud to be a part of the Sword & Key Network. Our music is by the handsome and talented Nick Lambert. Find him on Instagram @lambertropolis. All other music and sounds are licensed through Epidemic Sounds.

Happy New Year… again! That is, Happy Lunar New Year and according to the Chinese zodiac it is the year of the Wood Dragon! So 28 episodes after first mentioning them, we are finally giving Chinese Dragons their own episode. Join us as we delve into the millennia of tradition and culture that have shaped the various types of Chinese Dragons and be patient with Derek as he does his damn best to pronounce Chinese words.



Featuring: The caffeine that powers Monster Crush, Happy Lunar New Year, LD & Derek’s Chinese Zodiac signs, Snek, A LOT of nines and other numbers, clam bellies, dragons are camel/bull/rabbit/stag/snake/clam/carp/tiger/eagles, so many Chinese dragons, even more Chinese dragons, no jokes about Longwang, lethal fashion, dragons are EVERYWHERE… so are dinosaurs?, Phoenix yes/Tiger no



CW: Real world religions, Ancient religious beliefs, Storms/Dangerous weather phenomena

We are proud to be a part of the Sword & Key Network. Our music is by the handsome and talented Nick Lambert. Find him on Instagram @lambertropolis. All other music and sounds are licensed through Epidemic Sounds.

Where do you plan to spend your afterlife? For some of the departed, they chose an eternity of entertainment in the theater! Join us as LD joins two of her loves: Scares and Stagecraft to discuss Theater Ghosts! These paranormal performers and spectral spectators are sure to send a shiver up your spine when all is dark except the ghostlight!

Featuring: An unasked for deep dive into Derek’s religious ideologies, Hot takes on Jackalopes, 10 foot tall aliens EVERYWHERE, Theater Superstitions, The REAL Phantom of the Opera and Spooky News: Democracy chooses Chupacabra, High Quality Collectible Cryptid Bobbleheads, Brazilian mountain aliens, Miami Mall Aliens



CW: Real world religions, Ancient religious beliefs, Death/Tragedy, Historical discrimination, and Tragedies related to fire


We are proud to be a part of the Sword & Key Network. Our music is by the handsome and talented Nick Lambert. Find him on Instagram @lambertropolis. All other music and sounds are licensed through Epidemic Sounds.