Your creature fix in podcast form. Monster Porn is an anthology of horror stories, weird fiction, bizarro fiction, and speculative fiction from creators Matt Cummins and Bret Norwood. When Matt and wannabe sorcerer Bret accidentally summon a Lovecraftian horror, trapping him in the body of an adorable teacup piggie, they are compelled to create the horror anthology podcast that will destroy the world. This is the horror podcast where every day is like Halloween...and prom night! From Lovecraftian horror to new weird to bizarro, we've got it all. Prepare to get weird.
"The Embiggening" by Matt Cummins
Happy Halloween!!! We’re back with some surprise blue super moon monsterbation for your All Hallow’s. In “The Embiggening” by Matt Cummins, a boy who thinks himself weak makes a wish that weak things can be strong…but the wish proves a little vague. BUT FIRST: sex robots, candy corn, and sexy sexy heads of rock star hair!!!
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Godspeed and Happy All Hallow’s, monsterbators!
"Pastoress: We Will Be Changed"
Before we launch into today’s feature, “Pastoress: We Will Be Changed,” please indulge us while we discuss how the podcast has struggled with Apple Podcasts over the last nine months and the rather surprising way in which online censorship might have impacted Monster Porn…I say “surprising” because it has nothing to do with any of the off-color things we’ve said or that the word “porn” is in our name. We cover the evidence we’ve seen in our own listener stats that Apple has algorithms in place suppressing criticism of the Chinese government and how this may have nearly strangled this podcast.
Today’s story is “Pastoress: We Will Be Changed” by Bret Norwood. The Pastoress has returned to Earth following her quest to find God, realizing that Naomi is in danger. However, dark forces bear down upon her before she can reach her friend. If you enjoy Pastoress, the saga begins back in MP012 and you can find our Pastoress playlist on Youtube.
If you enjoy comics, back Mr. Guy: Zombie Hunter from our friends at Oneshi Press, now on Kickstarter! https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/oneshipress/mr-guy-and-the-origins-comics-anthology
Read Bret’s write-up on the China thing on our blog at MonsterPornPodcast.com.
Visit the Monster Porn Store at MonsterPornPodcast.com/store.
"Interdimensional Cancer a la Mode" by Matt Cummins
Monsterbators! Today we present “Interdimensional Cancer a la Mode,” an interdimensional body horror comedy from Matt Cummins. When Jerry gets a bike tire in the backside and ends up in the E.R., the anesthetics take him to a strange and uncomfortable place, a parallel dimension perhaps, where he witnesses a horrible mimicry of his operation.
But first, Matt plays wingman to Bret once more when they hit up the Fourth of July Singles Mingle down at the park and Bret shows the ladies the magic of romance. And his sexy, sexy cape.
Thanks for joining us, monsterbators! If you enjoy this show, please be sure you’re subscribed and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts! Every little bit helps this show keep growing!!
Check out the new comic book from friends of the show Oneshi Press, now on Kickstarter! Back “Mr. Guy: Zombie Hunter” here: http://kck.st/3dRjZuD
Hit the official Monster Porn Store at MonsterPornPodcast.com/store, and sign up for the newsletter at MonsterPornPodcast.com!
"Starbat" by Bret Norwood
Presenting “Starbat” — When teen Eddie Adder dies and finds his shade on the moon, he also encounters Avery Case, the classmate who went missing a year ago, only she’s not dead. She’s dressed like some sort of Goth cosmic superheroine and has been sent to shepherd Eddie’s shade to the center of the galaxy…a journey to oblivion that becomes derailed by horror.
But first, Bret and Matt have rediscovered an ancient gateway buried in the sands…a gateway to a much radder world full of pow and blam and fraga-boom, a gateway to the world of comic books…Yes, Bret and Matt enter the COMICSGATE. (That’s what that means, right??)
Thanks for listening to this episode of Monster Porn! Check out our merch store at MonsterPornPodcast.com/store and be sure to get on the newsletter for bonus Monster Porn at MonsterPornPodcast.com!
"Race Invaders" and "Pastoress: The Zealots"
Today on a Monster Porn double feature, Matt and Bret play the game you just can’t win: Race Invaders! First, in Matt Cummins’ “Race Invaders,” a traffic stop puts a black man in a dangerous situation with a bad cop before things get weird. Then, in “Pastoress: The Zealots,” by Bret Norwood, the Pastoress on the hunt by night finds herself in the midst of a riot she doesn’t understand.
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Thanks for listening and godspeed, monsterbators!
"Blackbirds" [Dracula / Lovecraft Mashup] by Bret Norwood
Today, Monster Porn: Weird Fiction & Horror Podcast presents a Lovecraftian take on Bram Stoker’s Dracula called “Blackbirds” by Bret Norwood. The narrator, fleeing over winter New England roads from an unknown danger, reflects upon the maddening knowledge he encountered by cross-referencing a certain forbidden tome with his grandmother Harker’s journals. It’s “What if Lovecraft wrote the sequel to Dracula?” today on MP!
“Blackbirds” originally appeared on “Once Upon a Time in Transylvania” presented by OctoberpodVHS. To experience the entire anthology of reinterpretations of Stoker’s Dracula united by verses of Wallace Steven’s poem “Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird,” head here: https://youtu.be/yG8W-PLg_QA
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If you enjoyed this cosmic / Lovecraftian interpretation of Dracula, you might check out our other vampire-based episode, MP033 – A Vampire Story Special, featuring two of my personal favorite MP stories, “The House on Sumner” and “Eateth of my Flesh”!
Thanks to Edward October at OctoberpodVHS for bringing authors and artists together for “Once Upon a Time in Transylvania”!
Thanks for listening and godspeed, monsterbators!
ONE OF MY ALL-TIME FAVORITE PODCASTS!!!!
I’m binging every episode, I love this wacky topsy-turvy podcast so darn much...and although I’m not finished yet, I noticed that they haven’t made ANY recent episodes, and that makes me so sad and nervous, I really hope they continue with this because it is SUCH a fun and unique and special podcast!!! In fact, I’MA GO CONTRIBUTE AND BUY MERCH RIGHT NOW!!!!!🙌🙌🙌I LOVE THIS PODCAST!!!😂I NEED PSYCHIATRIC HELP!!!😅
Really worth it
These guys are trying some weird stuff and I think they’re coming at their experiments with good hearts and weird brains. Look, I don’t like every story but they’re going outside the box and dealing with relevant topics and putting forth interesting work. I started cringing when I saw that they did a race episode but man, they did it well. No thoughtless pandering but also no weird failures of empathy or accidental racism that I could tell. I felt... weirdly proud of them. These folks are doing good work.
Explicit content aside this is awesome!