Confessions of a Pageant King

I help pageant queens win in pageantry AND in life.

Pageant coaching and a healthy dose of pageant tea with Adrian Kwan, Founder of The Pageant Project. Over the last decade, Adrian has coached titleholders from every major pageant system including: Miss Universe, Miss USA, and Miss America, as well as interviewing over 350 pageant contestants from around the world. He is a qualified Tony Robbins life-coach, serial entrepreneur, and an Amazon Best-Selling Author. Adrian is currently based in Sydney, Australia. www.thepageantproject.com

  1. 21h ago

    Stop Asking Everyone What They Think

    Win at pageants. And at life. Start your journey for free: 👉 https://thepageantproject.com/subscribe Stop collecting opinions It’s crunch time. For some of you, your pageant is days away. For others, it’s close enough that every tiny detail now feels bigger than it probably should. That is exactly why you need to be careful about who you let inside your head. The final stretch before your pageant is NOT the time to ask ten more people what they think of your walk, wardrobe, platform, interview, onstage answer, hair, makeup, talent, opening statement, or entire existence. At some point, more input stops helping. It becomes noise. And if you keep listening to noise this close to your pageant, don’t be surprised when you cannot hear yourself think. Advice has an expiry date I’m not saying advice is bad. Obviously. I’m a coach. People pay me for my opinion. But timing matters. If someone had serious concerns about your preparation, the time to raise them was months ago. Not the night before. Not the week of. Not when you are already nervous, tired, emotional, and trying to hold yourself together. People love saying, “I’m only trying to help.” Fine. But the road to hell is paved with good intentions. If your “help” puts doubt into someone’s head right before she needs to perform, you’re not helping. You’re hurting. Stop outsourcing your brain Here is the bigger problem. Some contestants get so used to asking everyone else what they think that they stop developing their own judgment. They ask their coach. Their mum. Their director. Their pageant friends. Random people online. Then, when you ask them what they think, they say: “I don’t know.” No. I don’t believe that. You probably do know. You’ve just trained yourself to believe your opinion doesn’t count until someone else validates it. That is dangerous. Because when you are onstage, no one can think for you. When you are in interview, no one can sit beside you and whisper the “right” answer. At some point, you need to be able to say: This is what I think. This is what I want. This is what I’m doing. That does not mean you ignore good advice. It means you stop treating every outside opinion as gospel. A coach can see things you cannot see. A coach can challenge you. A coach can sharpen your strategy, interview, delivery, mindset, and preparation. But your coach is not God. If you are dependent on someone else to tell you what to think, what to wear, what to say, how to feel, and whether you are doing well, that is not confidence. That is dependence. And dependence does not make a strong titleholder. Lock in The closer you get to your pageant, the more selective you need to become. Not everyone gets access to your head. Not every comment needs to be processed, analysed, defended, debated, or cried over. Some of it is just chatter. “You should have been Top 2.” “The judges had no idea what they were doing.” “Your dress should have been different.” “Your answer was too much.” Noise. The more attention you give to that, the more unfocused you become. Your job in the final stretch is not to become available to every opinion. Your job is to lock in. Know what you have worked on. Know what you bring to the table. Know what you want to show. Know what kind of woman you want to be when you walk into that room. Then use that as your compass. Decide what you want Before your pageant, ask yourself: * What do I want to show the judges? * What energy do I want to bring? * What have I worked on hardest to improve? * Which voices help me perform better? * Which voices make me spiral? Then act accordingly. Listen to the people who make you clearer, calmer, stronger, and more prepared. Block out the people who make you doubt yourself. And yes, that might include people who love you. Love does not automatically make someone useful in your final stretch. Final thought Pageantry is subjective. Different panel, different day, different result. That does not mean preparation doesn’t matter. But if your only measure of success is the crown, you are putting yourself in a fragile position. The better question is: Did I become better through this process? More self-aware. More disciplined. More courageous. More articulate. More capable of thinking for yourself. That is the part no judging panel can take from you. So stop asking everyone what they think. Ask yourself what you want. Then lock in and go get it. Adrian. The Beginner’s Guide to Pageantry - Everything You Need to Compete in Your First Pageant With Confidence... Even If You’re Starting From Zero: 👉 https://www.amazon.com/dp/0645070327 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.thepageantproject.com/subscribe

    Stop Asking Everyone What They Think
  2. Jul 7

    Stop Catastrophizing Before You Sabotage Your Pageant

    Win at pageants. And at life. Start your journey for free: 👉 https://thepageantproject.com/subscribe Stop turning one bad mock into a disaster I made this video because one of my private clients is competing in her dream pageant in roughly two weeks. She has worked hard for close to six months. She has practised. She has improved. She has put in the time. Then she had one mock interview that she felt went badly. And suddenly, in her mind, everything was falling apart. No. That is catastrophizing. One bad mock does not erase six months of work. But panicking over it can absolutely stop you from accessing the skills you have built. That is the real danger. You did not suddenly forget how to interview If you have genuinely worked on a skill for six months, you have improved. You may not perform perfectly every time. You may have an off day. You may get nervous. You may tighten up under pressure. But you did not suddenly lose the skill overnight. Unless you hit your head and developed retrograde amnesia, your interview ability is still there. The issue is not always skill. Sometimes the issue is that you are so far inside your own head that you can no longer access the skill. That happens in sport all the time. Athletes train brilliantly, then fall apart under pressure. The ability did not disappear. Their state changed. And if your performance suddenly gets worse two weeks before the pageant, that timing is not random. The pageant is closer. The stakes feel higher. You are making it bigger in your head. Stop making one bad performance mean everything A bad mock means you had a bad mock. That is it. It does not mean: * you are hopeless at interview * your preparation has failed * you are not ready * you have wasted six months * you are going to lose You are the one adding that meaning. And once you do, you create a much bigger problem. Now you are practising from fear. You are questioning everything. You are adding more talking points. You are trying to control every sentence. You are rehearsing harder while becoming less natural. Then you wonder why interview feels worse. You are allowed one freak-out. Cry. Rant. Complain. Be dramatic for five minutes. Then stop. Because catastrophizing is not preparation. It is emotional self-sabotage. More practice may make it worse Your first instinct will probably be: I need to practise more. Maybe you do. But if you have already been practising constantly, more of the same may be exactly what you do not need. If the problem is pressure, repeating more answers in a comfortable room will not fix it. If the problem is overthinking, adding more notes will not fix it. If the problem is exhaustion, another late-night practice session will not fix it. If the problem is that you have made the pageant feel like life or death, memorising another talking point will not fix it. Stop automatically assuming the answer is more work. You need to work on the right problem. Ask yourself: * Was I tired? * Was I distracted? * Did one question throw me off? * Was I trying to remember too much? * Have I practised only when I feel comfortable? * Have I made this pageant so important that I can no longer think properly? That is diagnosis. “I just need to practise harder” is not diagnosis. If pressure is the problem, practise pressure Once you understand the cause, do something specific. If pressure makes you freeze, introduce pressure into practice. If one type of question rattles you, practise that type of question. If you are too rehearsed, stop scripting and learn to talk. If you are distracted by something happening in your life, deal with it or learn to compartmentalise. If you are exhausted, fix your sleep, food, and recovery. Do not keep hammering away at interview mechanics when the real problem is psychological. This is why I keep saying pageantry is 80% psychology and 20% mechanics. Your talking points do not matter if panic stops you from accessing them. Your preparation does not matter if you convince yourself it has all been pointless. Your skill does not matter if you turn the interview into a threat. Interview is not life or death You cannot communicate well when you are treating every answer like a survival test. When your brain thinks you are under threat, it does not care about warmth, connection, humour, or persuasion. It wants to escape. That is why you freeze, rush, ramble, forget obvious things, or give answers that sound nothing like you. The contestants who interview best are not usually the ones trying hardest to be perfect. They are the ones who enjoy communicating. They prepare. They practise. They watch themselves back. They confront their weaknesses. But they do not walk into the room thinking the judges are there to execute them. They talk. They connect. They persuade. What to do now After a bad mock: * Stop catastrophizing. * Work out what actually went wrong. * Fix that specific problem. That is it. Do not turn one bad performance into your identity. Do not tell yourself the entire pageant is over. Do not spend the next two weeks panicking and call it preparation. The mock did not erase your ability. The panic might stop you from using it. The Beginner’s Guide to Pageantry - Everything You Need to Compete in Your First Pageant With Confidence... Even If You’re Starting From Zero: 👉 https://www.amazon.com/dp/0645070327 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.thepageantproject.com/subscribe

    Stop Catastrophizing Before You Sabotage Your Pageant
  3. Jul 2

    [EP 356] NOELIA VELAZQUEZ INTERVIEW: MISS TEEN ALL AMERICAN 2025

    We show you how to win at pageants and at life. Start your journey for free: 👉 https://thepageantproject.com/subscribe ABOUT NOELIA VELAZQUEZ Noelia Velazquez of Greenville, North Carolina is the reigning Miss Teen All American. She is currently a rising Junior at High Point University, where she is pursuing a Bachelors degree in Entrepreneurship. On campus, she serves as a the Vice President for the Class of 2028, Social Media Ambassador, Director of Social Media for Alpha Gamma Delta, 2024 CoHort representative for the LIFT Fellowship Program, and an anchor for HPU Vision, the university’s student-led news program. Noelia began her community work at just 11 years old, helping hurricane victims in Puerto Rico, which has now evolved into her now internationally recognized platform, Girl Strong by Noe. Through this initiative, she has led over 50 workshops locally, nationally, and internationally, encouraging young girls to lead with confidence, compassion, and resilience. With strengths in public speaking, storytelling, and leadership, Noelia brings energy, empathy, and impact to every project she takes on. She is especially passionate about mental health advocacy, female empowerment, and using her social media platform as a tool for change. Outside of the spotlight, Noelia loves fashion, traveling, connecting with new people, and filming podcast episodes with empowering women of all backgrounds for her Instagram series, “Girl Talk by Noe.” Her ultimate goal is to own her own Couture Dress Store. FOLLOW NOELIA VELAZQUEZ 👉 https://www.instagram.com/iam_noeliavelazquez/ The Beginner’s Guide to Pageantry - Everything You Need to Compete in Your First Pageant With Confidence... Even If You’re Starting From Zero: 👉 https://www.amazon.com/dp/0645070327 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.thepageantproject.com/subscribe

    [EP 356] NOELIA VELAZQUEZ INTERVIEW: MISS TEEN ALL AMERICAN 2025
  4. Jun 30

    What Pageant Girls Are Getting Wrong About AI

    Win at pageants and at life. Start your journey for free: 👉 https://thepageantproject.com/subscribe The AI conversation pageant girls need to have I wanted to talk about AI this week because it has been popping up again in the pageant space, most recently around AI-generated pageant headshots. And, as expected, people have opinions. Some of those opinions are thoughtful. Some are not. But what worries me is that much of the conversation seems to stop at the most obvious, surface-level question: Are AI pageant headshots good or bad? That is a valid question. But it is also a very narrow one. Because the bigger issue is not whether one contestant should or should not use an AI-generated headshot. The bigger issue is whether pageant girls are actually learning how to use AI intelligently, or whether they are dismissing it before they understand it. And that, I think, is a much more important conversation. You are probably already using AI One of the strange things about the AI debate is that many people talk about AI as though it is some completely separate, futuristic, morally suspicious thing that only exists inside ChatGPT. But if you use GPS, you are using AI. If your phone unlocks with your face, you are using AI. If you use FaceTune, skin smoothing, Instagram filters, background removal, auto captions, or many of the tools already sitting inside your phone, you are using some version of AI. So the question is not really whether pageant girls should use AI. The better question is: How can pageant girls use AI well? That distinction matters, because “AI bad” is not a serious strategy. Neither is “AI good.” Both are lazy positions. The real skill is learning what the tool is good for, what it is not good for, where the ethical lines are, and how to use it in a way that actually improves the quality of what you are doing. The headshot debate is not as simple as people want it to be For the record, I do not think AI-generated headshots should be used for photogenic awards. If contestants are being judged on a headshot, and the headshot is not actually a real photo of them, then I think that creates an obvious fairness issue. But this is where the conversation gets more complicated. If the argument is that AI headshots are bad because they are “not real,” then we need to be honest about how much of pageantry already involves altering appearance. Heavily edited photos are not exactly “real” either. Neither is FaceTune. Neither is aggressive Photoshop. Neither is contouring that changes the structure of someone’s face. Neither are certain cosmetic procedures. That does not mean all of those things are the same. They are not. But it does mean the conversation requires more nuance than pretending there is a clean line between “real” and “fake.” In pageantry, as in most of life, the line is often messier than people want to admit. The real risk is refusing to learn My concern is not that every contestant needs to start using AI for everything. Please do not use AI to turn yourself into a generic pageant robot. We already have enough of those. My concern is that a lot of smart, capable, ambitious young women are going to leave an incredibly powerful tool on the table because they have decided, often without much experience, that AI is bad. And I think that is a mistake. AI is going to affect almost every industry. Business. Marketing. Media. Medicine. Law. Education. Coaching. Content creation. Your platform. Your career. Your future business. Whatever direction you go in, you are going to be competing with people who know how to use AI. And the danger is not that they will “cheat.” The danger is that they will move faster, create better, learn quicker, communicate more effectively, and build things that you still think are impossible. That is why I think the real risk is not using AI badly. The real risk is refusing to learn it. Using AI well is still a skill One of the laziest criticisms of AI is that using it is lazy. And yes, it can be. But that is true of almost any tool. A contestant can use AI badly. A business owner can use AI badly. A coach can use AI badly. A creator can use AI to churn out generic rubbish that no one asked for. But using AI well is different. You still need taste. You still need judgment. You still need to know what good looks like. You still need to know what you are trying to say, who you are trying to serve, and what kind of output is actually useful. AI does not magically make someone excellent. It magnifies what is already there. That is why someone with real skill who learns how to use AI properly is going to become very difficult to compete with. Not because the AI replaces their ability, but because it allows them to extend it. Why this matters beyond pageants Pageantry is not separate from the real world. The same skills that help you succeed in pageantry often help you succeed in life: communication, confidence, leadership, personal branding, storytelling, adaptability, emotional intelligence, and the ability to learn quickly. AI can help with a lot of that. Not by replacing your personality. Not by writing fake answers for you. Not by giving you some soulless script to memorize. But by helping you practice better, organize your thoughts, sharpen your message, develop your platform, build your story bank, and get feedback when you would otherwise be sitting alone in your own head. That is the opportunity here. The point is not to become dependent on AI. The point is to become more capable because you know how to use the tools available to you. Free resource: interact with my pageant book In the video, I show you how to use NotebookLM to interact with my pageant book. Instead of reading the entire book from start to finish, you can ask questions and get answers based on the material inside it. For example, you could ask what I say about pageant interview, stage presence, onstage question, psychology, mindset, or the biggest mistakes contestants make. This is completely free to use. The book itself is not free, but I am giving you access to the NotebookLM version so you can explore the ideas in a more interactive way. Link: https://notebooklm.google.com/notebook/ee31985c-2814-435f-9eb5-3d1c5a02afa7 Final thought You do not need to agree with every use of AI. I certainly do not. But please do not make the mistake of refusing to learn it. The contestants, coaches, creators, business owners, and leaders who learn how to use this properly are going to have an enormous advantage. Not because AI makes them good, but because they are already good, and AI helps them move faster. So watch the video, try the free NotebookLM resource, and ask yourself honestly: Where am I dismissing AI because I do not understand it yet? Adrian. The Beginner's Guide to Pageantry - Everything You Need to Compete in Your First Pageant With Confidence... Even If You’re Starting From Zero: 👉 https://www.amazon.com/dp/0645070327 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.thepageantproject.com/subscribe

    What Pageant Girls Are Getting Wrong About AI
  5. Jun 23

    It’s Not Your Strategy. It’s Your Story.

    High-performance pageant coaching, shared weekly. Trusted by 350+ titleholders in Miss Universe, Miss USA, Miss America, and beyond. This isn’t theory. It’s what works. Start your journey for free: 👉 https://thepageantproject.com/subscribe We are well and truly in pageant season. Which means somewhere, right now, there is a contestant practising her walk for the 487th time, panicking about whether her interview dress says “future titleholder” or “real estate agent with excellent posture,” and wondering if she should change her entire platform three days before competition. You know. Normal behaviour. And look, I get it. Strategy matters. You need to know how to interview. You need to know how to walk. You need to know how to communicate your platform without sounding like you were assembled in a lab by three former titleholders and a ring light. But strategy is not always the problem. Sometimes the problem is the story underneath it. This week’s coaching video is about the three S’s I look at when working with contestants: State. Strategy. Story. Most pageant prep starts with strategy. * What should I say? * How should I stand? * How do I answer political questions? * How do I make my platform sound impressive? * How do I make the judges like me without looking like I’m trying to make the judges like me? Fair questions. Then there’s state. Are you walking into interview calm, grounded and confident? Or are you walking in like your entire nervous system has been put in a blender and someone forgot to put the lid on? Again, important. But the missing piece, the piece most contestants never really look at, is story. What does pageantry mean to you? What does winning mean to you? And perhaps more importantly: What would it mean if you didn’t win? Because if your story is: “If I win, it proves I’m worthy.” That is going to affect how you perform. If your story is: “If I don’t win, this was all a giant waste of time.” That is going to affect how you perform. If your story is: “I need this crown to feel validated, successful, beautiful, important, chosen, enough...” Well, congratulations. You’ve just placed the emotional weight of your entire self-worth onto five strangers and a scoring sheet you may never see. Which, as life plans go, is not exactly bulletproof. This is why some contestants become so tight. They care so much that they stop performing freely. They stop connecting. They stop enjoying the room. They stop being themselves and start trying to drag the crown toward them with the sheer force of their desperation. Which, weirdly enough, is rarely the most magnetic version of a person. The strange thing is, if you really want to win, you may actually need to care a bit less. Not stop caring. Not become lazy. Not float into competition weekend with the energy of someone who wandered into the ballroom looking for the breakfast buffet. But care less in the sense that your identity is not on the line. Your future is not on the line. Your worth is not on the line. Because pageantry can be a brilliant tool for growth. It can sharpen your interview skills, stretch your confidence, expand your network, push your advocacy and force you to become a more disciplined version of yourself. But it is a terrible place to outsource your self-worth. In this week’s coaching video, I break down why story matters so much, how it affects your state and strategy, and why the story you’re carrying into the room might be the very thing making pageantry heavier than it needs to be. So before your next pageant, ask yourself: What story am I bringing with me? And is that story helping me? Or is it slowly strangling the life out of me while smiling beautifully in a crown? Adrian. The Beginner's Guide to Pageantry - Everything You Need to Compete in Your First Pageant With Confidence... Even If You’re Starting From Zero: 👉 https://www.amazon.com/dp/0645070327 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.thepageantproject.com/subscribe

    It’s Not Your Strategy. It’s Your Story.

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About

Pageant coaching and a healthy dose of pageant tea with Adrian Kwan, Founder of The Pageant Project. Over the last decade, Adrian has coached titleholders from every major pageant system including: Miss Universe, Miss USA, and Miss America, as well as interviewing over 350 pageant contestants from around the world. He is a qualified Tony Robbins life-coach, serial entrepreneur, and an Amazon Best-Selling Author. Adrian is currently based in Sydney, Australia. www.thepageantproject.com

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