Confessions of a Pageant King

I help pageant queens win in pageantry AND in life.

Pageant coaching and a healthy dose of pageant tea with Adrian Kwan, Founder of The Pageant Project. Over the last decade, Adrian has coached titleholders from every major pageant system including: Miss Universe, Miss USA, and Miss America, as well as interviewing over 350 pageant contestants from around the world. He is a qualified Tony Robbins life-coach, serial entrepreneur, and an Amazon Best-Selling Author. Adrian is currently based in Sydney, Australia. www.thepageantproject.com

  1. 1d ago

    Does Everything Really Happen For a Reason?

    Win at pageants. And at life. Start your journey for free: 👉 https://thepageantproject.com/subscribe I’ve had some pretty severe mental health struggles. I detailed them in my first book which hit #1 on Amazon (in its category) for a short time in the US, UK, and Australia. It’s one of the reasons I detest most mental health advocacies - they’re so overdone that the very term ‘mental health’ no longer cuts through the noise. That, and the fact that most people seem to confuse being bullied once or being sad once for ‘being depressed’. All that aside, I received some tragic news in the last 24 hours about a private client I have been doing some work with. She had been in a horrific car crash, requiring her to be air-lifted to a nearby hospital. She was 16. Thankfully her vitals are stable for the moment, and all we can do is send good wishes and prayers her way. But it reminded me of a conversation I’d had with another one of my private clients earlier on in the week: Does everything really happen for a reason? Speaking honestly, I will tell you I’m not sure. I think it’s one of life’s toughest questions, up there with “are humans inherently good or evil?”, but it did remind me of the most important power us humans have: We get to decide what events mean. * Lost a pageant? You get to decide what that means. * Lost a job? You get to decide what that means. * Got dumped? You get to decide what that means. I know that might not seem like much, but think about it for just a second. We don’t experience events. We experience the meaning we make up for those events. Ever noticed that two people can go to the exact same party and have radically different experiences? One thought it was the best party of her life, the other thinks it was a complete waste of time and swears to never go to another party like that again. Who was right? Both of them. Because they weren’t responding to the objective reality of the party. They were responding to the meaning they’d made up about the party in their heads. And here’s the kicker. That power to decide what events mean? It’s just about the only true power you and I have in this world. The only thing we can truly control. We can’t control events. But we can control the meaning we make up for those events. Make sure you’re using that power - for good. Adrian. The Beginner’s Guide to Pageantry - Everything You Need to Compete in Your First Pageant With Confidence... Even If You’re Starting From Zero: 👉 https://www.amazon.com/dp/0645070327 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.thepageantproject.com/subscribe

    Does Everything Really Happen For a Reason?
  2. 4d ago

    7 Things Pageantry Needs to Change in 2027

    Win at pageants. And at life. Start your journey for free: 👉 https://thepageantproject.com/subscribe It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these lists and now feels like a good time to rectify that what with the big US pageants having crowned their winners and the end of the year creeping up on us quickly. What was interesting for me putting this list together was how it’s changed over the years. Yes, the call for greater transparency has always been there, but there were also a few inclusions that might surprise some of you. I mentioned this in the video but it bears restating here, I create this list as someone who wants to see the industry thrive and succeed, especially the young women who compete in it. I’m not a blind pageant fanatic, nor am I a hater. I’m an observer, a realist, and a pragmatist at heart. I think our society is too keen to look for reasons to be angry, to divide along tribal lines, and to yell at one another for completely trivial reasons. We don’t need more angry talking heads, loyalists, haters, or pageant ‘experts’. What we need are people who know what they’re doing, have both the proven experience and the skill, and are happy to keep their heads down doing the work without needing to constantly be the center of attention. But that’s enough from me. Watch the video. It’s a good one (all 59 minutes of it). And, as always, I’d love to know your thoughts - even if I’m unable to get back to each one of you personally, know that I appreciate it. Adrian. The Beginner’s Guide to Pageantry - Everything You Need to Compete in Your First Pageant With Confidence... Even If You’re Starting From Zero: 👉 https://www.amazon.com/dp/0645070327 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.thepageantproject.com/subscribe

    7 Things Pageantry Needs to Change in 2027
  3. Sep 9

    If You’re Not Sure What To Do Next - Do This

    Win at pageants. And at life. Start your journey for free: 👉 https://thepageantproject.com/subscribe There seems to be a lot of people feeling lost right now. Myself included. Even if you take the crazy world of pageantry out of the equation for a second, we seem to be increasingly living in a world where no-one knows what’s going to be happening tomorrow, let alone in five or ten years from now. Add to that the ever increasing price of living and the fact that we seem hopelessly divided on issues such as politics, religion, climate change, and AI, is it really any wonder that many of us are feeling a bit lost? I work a lot with teenagers and young women, many of whom are finishing up high school or college and are wondering what’s supposed to come next in life. Side note: I always thought it was ridiculous that you were somehow supposed to choose a college degree that would determine the direction of the rest of your life when you were just seventeen or eighteen and had literally no idea what the real world was actually about. Just me? I don’t know about you, but I was never asked in school or in college what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. I was definitely never asked about my goals or given a plan as to how to find a fulfilling career. Instead, what I do remember is having to attend early morning classes where the lecturer would simply read their notes from the projector out loud, making me wonder why I couldn’t simply have read them myself at home and saved myself an early morning wakeup time. I also remember taking a math class on n-dimensional calculus and being unable to figure out what was wrong with just the three dimensional world I thought we all lived in. So let me ask you a question. It’s the same one I’ve been asking of myself and many of my clients recently: What do you want your life to look like? * How would you describe a perfect day? * What do you love doing? * What do you hate doing? As many of you know, I just got back from Miss USA in Miami, Florida. It might surprise you to know that I spent very little time playing tourist, and instead spent a lot of time reading. Not so much because I love reading, but because I felt I needed new ideas and new perspectives. In fact, that was why I wanted to fly halfway around the world to go to Miss USA in the first place. I knew that being immersed in that environment would help me determine what direction to take next and what I wanted the next phase of my life to look like. After all, pageantry is many things, but it is rarely boring. Many are yearning for it to return to its glory days when it dominated the airwaves and titleholders were household names. Call me a cynic, but that’s never going to happen. Pageantry is now firmly a niche hobby. It will always have its audience because it’s been such an important part of the cultural fabric of countries such as the USA for so long, but the central problem for the industry, at least recently, has been its struggle to maintain relevancy after the ‘pretty girls in bikinis’ era ended. It’s tried many things, but nothing’s really landed, not in terms of capturing the public’s imagination anyway. So what do we do when the industry we’ve dedicated so much of our toil to is struggling? When the public is still largely confused as to how a married woman over the age of thirty could become Miss USA? And when the industry now seems to make front page news only when there’s been another scandal? We sit. In silence. We think. We learn. We grow. We strategize. We reinvent ourselves. Just because pageantry has struggled to reinvent itself, doesn’t mean we should follow suit. Frankly, if there is a way to truly ‘future proof’ ourselves in this crazy world, it will be through reinvention, growth, and learning to get comfortable with uncertainty. I’m not saying you need to spend thousands of dollars on a course or live as a hermit in a cave for the next twelve months. Start small. * What’s something you’ve always wanted to learn? * What’s a hobby you’ve always wanted to take up? * What’s a skillset you could learn that would help you level up your health, your finances, or your relationship? So whether you decide to take a stack of books to your next pageant like me or you decide to pursue the new and improved version of yourself in some other manner, make sure to spend some time thinking, dreaming, and envisioning: What do you want your life to look like? Adrian. The Beginner’s Guide to Pageantry - Everything You Need to Compete in Your First Pageant With Confidence... Even If You’re Starting From Zero: 👉 https://www.amazon.com/dp/0645070327 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.thepageantproject.com/subscribe

  4. Aug 4

    Should You Sue Your Pageant Director?

    Win at pageants. And at life. Start your journey for free: 👉 https://thepageantproject.com/subscribe I got sent a message the other day from someone asking about taking legal action after a bad pageant experience. And I get it. When you feel like someone has lied, mishandled something, treated your daughter badly, changed the rules, played favourites, failed to deliver what was promised, or simply behaved in a way that feels wildly unfair, the temptation is obvious. * You want consequences. * You want someone to admit they were wrong. * You want the situation fixed. * You want justice. The problem is that court is not really about justice in the emotional sense. Court is about law. Sometimes those two things overlap. Sometimes the legal outcome feels fair. Other times you look at a verdict and wonder how on earth that was the result. But if you are thinking about suing a pageant director, coach, system, contestant, or anyone else in the pageant world, you need to understand that distinction clearly. Because “this was unfair” is not the same as “I can prove a legal case.” And most pageant drama lives in that messy middle. A lot of what happens in pageantry is verbal, vague, badly documented, emotionally charged, or based on expectations that were never properly written down. Sometimes there is no contract. Sometimes there is a contract, but it is written so badly it looks like someone played lawyer after three glasses of wine and a motivational quote. That might make you think the director is easier to go after. Maybe. But it can also make the whole thing harder to prove. Because if you are standing in front of a court, the question is not whether your friends think you were wronged. It is not whether your daughter was devastated. It is not whether the whole thing felt shady. The question is much colder than that: * What were you promised? * Where is that promise recorded? * What did they fail to deliver? * What evidence do you actually have? Not vibes. Not rumours. Not “everyone knows.” Evidence. And that is where many pageant grievances begin to fall apart. I am not saying people in pageantry always behave well. They absolutely do not. I have heard enough stories behind the scenes to know there are people in this industry who operate with very loose ethics and an impressive amount of self-importance. But bad behaviour is not automatically a winning lawsuit. That is the part people do not want to hear. The other part is that court is expensive, draining, slow, and often miserable. Lawyers cost money. Letters cost money. Emotional energy costs money too, even if no one sends you an invoice for that part. And in pageantry, you have to ask a very blunt question: What exactly are you trying to win? * Your entry fee back? * A refund? * An apology? * The crown? Do you really want to force a director to install you as titleholder after you have taken them to court? How do you imagine that year is going to go? There are fringe cases where legal action may be worth considering. If you have clear, objective, black-and-white evidence that you were promised something and denied it, or you were dethroned for a factually false reason that can be proven false, then maybe you speak to a lawyer. Maybe. Not definitely. Maybe. Even then, you need money, evidence, and the temperament to go through with it. Some people are fighters. Some people can handle confrontation, industry whispers, and the nonsense that comes with standing up in a small, messy world like pageantry. Most people cannot. That is not an insult. It is just something you should know before you pick a fight that could consume the next year of your life. I wish pageantry had better standards. I wish contracts were clearer, directors were more accountable, and contestants had better ways to speak honestly about bad experiences without being punished for it. But wishing does not make it true. So my general advice is boring, blunt, and probably not what people want to hear. In most cases, do not sue. Get actual legal advice if you are seriously considering it. But do not confuse being hurt with having a case. Do not confuse unfairness with illegality. And do not assume court will give you the closure pageantry failed to give you. Sometimes the better answer is to learn the lesson, take your licks, choose a different system, and move on. Not because what happened was okay. Because your life is worth more than staying stuck in the muck. Adrian The Beginner’s Guide to Pageantry - Everything You Need to Compete in Your First Pageant With Confidence... Even If You’re Starting From Zero: 👉 https://www.amazon.com/dp/0645070327 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.thepageantproject.com/subscribe

    Should You Sue Your Pageant Director?
  5. Jul 28

    Is Pageantry Still Worth It?

    Win at pageants. And at life. Start your journey for free: 👉 https://thepageantproject.com/subscribe It feels like it’s the peak of pageant season madness at the moment, and so there’s a good chance you’ve just finished competing, or are about to compete very soon. And, unless you’re competing in an incredibly small pageant (or one where the winner is appointed), there’s probably more than a ninety percent chance you’re going to lose. (Yes, in this case any result other than winning is counted as losing.) The question I’ve been asking myself recently, after seeing some of my clients endure some very painful losses: Is pageantry still worth it? I know I might be in a minority of one here as far as pageant coaches go, but something doesn’t feel right about encouraging you to pour your blood, sweat, and tears into something that has such a high chance of not being worth it. And before you get on your high horse, I’m well aware that we often say it’s about the journey and not the destination, and in pageant terms that means we should be focussed on the personal growth and connections we make. But let’s say that you spend somewhere between five and ten thousand dollars in total on your next pageant: gown, costumes, hair, makeup, travel, coaching, training, etc. (That’s a conservative estimate, by the way.) In terms of the “opportunities” that pageants supposedly give us, are we really so sure that we couldn’t create more opportunities for ourselves by using that money in other ways? * Living expenses whilst you take an unpaid internship toward your dream job * Travelling to do missionary work * Legal expenses to start up your non-profit * A business coach or software expenses to start up your side hustle We’re not living in the 2000s anymore. Your ability to create opportunity for yourself, as an individual, is greater than at any other point in human history. Between the internet, social media, and AI, you could quite literally teach yourself anything you want to know, or start a multi-million-dollar business overnight. Against that backdrop, what is the ‘opportunity’ that pageantry can give you that you wouldn’t be able to give yourself better, faster, and probably cheaper? For myself, there are two and only two reasons that genuinely make pageantry worth it in today’s world, not the world of twenty to thirty years ago. I allude to them in this week’s video, but the point isn’t to copy my reasons. The point is to find your own. And if you haven’t found them yet, keep looking. Maybe outside of pageantry. Adrian. The Beginner’s Guide to Pageantry - Everything You Need to Compete in Your First Pageant With Confidence... Even If You’re Starting From Zero: 👉 https://www.amazon.com/dp/0645070327 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.thepageantproject.com/subscribe

    Is Pageantry Still Worth It?
  6. Jul 27

    [EP 359] HOLLY HUBER INTERVIEW: MISS ALASKA USA 2026

    We show you how to win at pageants and at life. Start your journey for free: 👉 https://thepageantproject.com/subscribe ABOUT HOLLY HUBER After competing for nearly eight years, Holly Huber brought home the Miss Alaska USA title on June 28, 2026. Hailing from Juneau, she’s the first woman from her hometown to ever don this title. Holly’s pageant journey began when she was just two years old, taking the stage at a Sunburst Pageant in Red Lodge, Montana. Since then, she’s competed her entire life, most notably as Miss Alaska Volunteer and now, Miss Alaska USA. Her platform, “Stay Another Day” was founded in 2016 after she came home to find her own mother had made an attempt on her life, and her efforts were proven relevant once more when, in 2020, her brother died by suicide. Holly’s efforts have been taken nationwide as she serves on the board of Directors for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. She’s lobbied with both state and federal agencies to ensure that Americans get access to mental health resources freely and without judgement. Now, she prepares to take the Miss USA stage and show everyone just what the last frontier has to offer. FOLLOW HOLLY HUBER 👉 https://www.instagram.com/kurramaas/ 👉 https://tiktok.com/@kurramaas The Beginner’s Guide to Pageantry - Everything You Need to Compete in Your First Pageant With Confidence... Even If You’re Starting From Zero: 👉 https://www.amazon.com/dp/0645070327 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.thepageantproject.com/subscribe

    [EP 359] HOLLY HUBER INTERVIEW: MISS ALASKA USA 2026

Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
3 Ratings

About

Pageant coaching and a healthy dose of pageant tea with Adrian Kwan, Founder of The Pageant Project. Over the last decade, Adrian has coached titleholders from every major pageant system including: Miss Universe, Miss USA, and Miss America, as well as interviewing over 350 pageant contestants from around the world. He is a qualified Tony Robbins life-coach, serial entrepreneur, and an Amazon Best-Selling Author. Adrian is currently based in Sydney, Australia. www.thepageantproject.com

You Might Also Like