Relationships Made Easy

Dr. Abby Medcalf
  • 4.8 (479)
  • Relationships
  • Updated Weekly

The research says the key to a happy life is happy relationships. But how exactly do you make your relationships better? That’s what this show is all about.   I’m Dr. Abby Medcalf, psychologist, best-selling author, TEDx speaker, and (according to my kids) the bossy Jewish mom you didn’t know you needed. With decades of experience and millions of listeners in over 180 countries, I give you the no-fluff, research-backed strategies to make all your relationships better: with your partner, your family, your friends, and (most importantly) yourself.   Every week on the Relationships Made Easy podcast, I mix straight talk, humor, and science to help you communicate effectively, set healthy boundaries, and stop second-guessing yourself. Because great relationships aren’t built in a day. Great relationships are built daily.

  1. 5d ago

    391. How Do You Know If You’re Really in Love?

    Today I’m going to walk you through what “in love” really means at the brain level (spoiler: it’s not just chemistry), why fear sounds so much like love your nervous system can’t tell them apart, the four fear thoughts that masquerade as love and how to spot each one, what real love feels like in your body, and how this should look at different stages of a relationship so you can tell whether you’re in love at the beginning, the middle, or the long-haul phase you might be in right now. ____________________________ Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/how-to-know-if-youre-in-love Free Download: Am I in Love or Just Afraid? It’s a quick scorecard that’ll help you walk through this exact test on your own relationship: https://abbymedcalf.com/am-i-in-love Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack. You'll get... ✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes ✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations ✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby _________  👉 Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week!  https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/   👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries 👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook 👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book  ____________________________ Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes. Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/resources Say hello on social: Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd  YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube Our Sponsors: * Check out Quince and use my code quince.com/rme for a great deal: https://www.quince.com * Check out Upwork and use my code upwork.com for a great deal: https://www.upwork.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    391. How Do You Know If You’re Really in Love?

  2. Jul 6

    390. “But It Felt So Real”: Why Red Flags Don’t Look Like Red Flags

    Today I’m not doing the standard “look for red flags” thing. Ugh, I hate that phrase. It puts the whole burden on you to spot something that, by its nature, doesn’t look like a flag at all. (And then when you don’t see it, somehow that’s your fault? Nope. Stop. We’re not doing that here.) The reason red flags feel like green flags is that high-intensity behaviors mimic the outputs of real love, things like attention, certainty, and devotion, without including any of the inputs, things like time, consistency, and being actually known. So today I’m walking you through eight specific behaviors that consistently get mistaken for green flags, plus one tool, the Pace Test, that does the work of all of them at once. You’re going to leave with a real radar for this. ____________________________ Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/red-flags-look-like-green-flags Free Download: Is This a Green Flag or Just a Fast Flag?: A Quick Self-Check for Early Dating. Use this tool the next time you’re in early dating, or to look back honestly at a past relationship and see what you might have been picking up on: https://abbymedcalf.com/green-flag-fast-flag Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack. You'll get... ✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes ✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations ✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby _________  👉 Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week!  https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/   👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries 👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook 👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book  ____________________________ Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes. Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/resources Say hello on social: Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd  YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube Our Sponsors: * Check out Quince and use my code quince.com/rme for a great deal: https://www.quince.com * Check out Upwork and use my code upwork.com for a great deal: https://www.upwork.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    390. “But It Felt So Real”: Why Red Flags Don’t Look Like Red Flags

  3. Jun 29

    389. Why You Always Feel Like an Afterthought

    You wanted them to choose you without being asked because you believe that if you have to ask, it doesn’t really count. You want a partner who puts their work down first. The parent who calls to see how you're doing. The friend who reaches out for no reason. When they don't, something in you decides it means there’s something wrong with you, and you add it to a growing list of evidence that you're the afterthought. But wanting to be chosen is a real psychological need, not neediness. The problem isn't the wanting, it's a belief you're probably carrying about what asking means. Today we'll name the five things you actually need to feel safe and seen in a close relationship, the belief that's quietly eroding yours, and a three-step process I call the 3 A's for getting out of the trap. ____________________________ Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/why-you-feel-like-an-afterthought Download Am I Running a Silent Test? A Quick Self-Assessment, which walks you through spotting your own Silent Tests and running the 3 A's, step by step: https://abbymedcalf.com/silent-test Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack. You'll get... ✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes ✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations ✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby _________  Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week!  https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/  👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries 👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook 👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book  ____________________________ Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes. Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop Say hello on social: Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd  YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube Our Sponsors: * Check out Quince and use my code quince.com/rme for a great deal: https://www.quince.com * Check out Upwork and use my code upwork.com for a great deal: https://www.upwork.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    389. Why You Always Feel Like an Afterthought

  4. Jun 23

    388. Why Fairness Is Destroying Your Relationship

    That's not fair. You said it as a kid. You've thought it as an adult. Maybe you thought it this morning when you were loading the dishwasher while your partner sat on the couch. Maybe you thought it when you were the one who made the dinner and then also had to clean up because somehow that's just how it goes. Maybe you're thinking it right now, because you're the one reading this, trying to figure out how to make things better, and why are you always the one who has to make changes when they're not doing anything? That's not fair either. Fairness is one of the most universal thoughts humans have. And it's also one of the most quietly destructive forces in a relationship. Today, I'm going to show you why the fairness argument keeps you stuck, what the research says about what's happening in your brain when things feel unfair, and the one question that will change everything the next time you feel the resentment starting to build. You're going to leave this episode with a completely different way of thinking about fairness, and I promise it's going to change how you show up in every relationship in your life. ____________________________ Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/fairness-relationships-why-it-backfires Grab The Fairness Reframe: The One Question That Stops Resentment Before It Starts: https://abbymedcalf.com/fairness-reframe Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack. You'll get... ✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes ✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations ✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby _________  Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week!  https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/  👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries  👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook 👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book  ____________________________ Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes. Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop Say hello on social: Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd  YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube   Our Sponsors: * Check out Quince and use my code quince.com/rme for a great deal: https://www.quince.com * Check out Upwork and use my code upwork.com for a great deal: https://www.upwork.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    388. Why Fairness Is Destroying Your Relationship

  5. Jun 15

    387. Why You Keep Choosing the Wrong Partner

    If you've ever said, "My picker is broken," I want you to stop right there. Your picker isn't broken. It's working exactly the way it was trained to work. The problem is what it was trained on, and that's something you can actually change. In this episode, I'm going to walk you through the three psychological mechanisms that explain why you keep ending up in the same painful patterns, why that person who seemed so amazing kept disappointing you, and what you can concretely do to choose differently starting today. You're going to get the reframe, and then, as always, you're going to get the tools. ____________________________ Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/why-you-keep-choosing-the-wrong-partner Download The Pattern Snapshot, a quick self-assessment to name what's actually driving your relationship pattern: https://abbymedcalf.com/pattern-snapshot Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack. You'll get... ✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes ✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations ✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby _________  Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week!  https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/  👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries 👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook 👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book  ____________________________ Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes. Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop Say hello on social: Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd  YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube Our Sponsors: * Check out Quince and use my code quince.com/rme for a great deal: https://www.quince.com * Check out Upwork and use my code upwork.com for a great deal: https://www.upwork.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    387. Why You Keep Choosing the Wrong Partner

  6. Jun 8

    386. Why You Do What You Do: An Introduction to Internal Family Systems

    You've tried to change. You've done the work. And you still find yourself asking: why do I keep doing this? Today, I want to give you a framework that might finally answer that question. It's called Internal Family Systems, or IFS, and it explains why you react so differently depending on who you're with, why self-compassion feels impossible no matter how many times someone tells you to practice it, and why you keep choosing the same kind of person even when you know better. Nothing is wrong with you. You might just be missing a map. ____________________________ Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/what-is-internal-family-systems-ifs-therapy Download The 8 C's Self-Energy Check: How much Self-energy are you accessing right now? https://abbymedcalf.com/self-energy-check Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack. You'll get... ✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes ✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations ✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby _________  Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week!  https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/  👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries 👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook 👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book  ____________________________ Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes. Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop Say hello on social: Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd  YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube Our Sponsors: * Check out Quince and use my code quince.com/rme for a great deal: https://www.quince.com * Check out Upwork and use my code upwork.com for a great deal: https://www.upwork.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    386. Why You Do What You Do: An Introduction to Internal Family Systems

  7. Jun 1

    385. Are You a Highly Sensitive Person? What the Research Actually Says

    If you've spent most of your life being told you're too sensitive, too emotional, too intense, that you need to toughen up, let things go, stop taking everything so personally, this episode is for you. Today, I'm going to walk you through what the research actually says about being a highly sensitive person, or HSP. We'll look at what's happening in your brain, why the world feels so intense for you, how to recognize this trait in yourself, and most importantly, what you can actually do with this information so your sensitivity stops running your life and starts working for you instead. And, as always, I'm going to give you five practical tools so you can start feeling more at ease with who you are, right now. ____________________________ Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/highly-sensitive-person-hsp-science-tools Are you an HSP? Take the assessment: https://abbymedcalf.com/hsp-self-assessment Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack. You'll get... ✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes ✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations ✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby _________  Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week!  https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/  👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries 👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook 👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book  ____________________________ Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes. Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop Say hello on social: Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd  YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube Our Sponsors: * Check out Quince and use my code quince.com/rme for a great deal: https://www.quince.com * Check out Upwork and use my code upwork.com for a great deal: https://www.upwork.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    385. Are You a Highly Sensitive Person? What the Research Actually Says

  8. May 25

    384. You're Not Feeling Guilty. Here's What's Really Going On.

    There's a word people use all the time that’s causing you a lot of unneeded suffering, mostly because you’re using it incorrectly. That word is guilty. You say you feel guilty for canceling plans. Guilty for not calling your mom back sooner. Guilty for wanting more space in your relationship. Guilty for saying no. But the vast majority of the time, what you're calling guilt isn't guilt at all! You've got the wrong label on a very real feeling, and that mislabel is keeping you stuck, second-guessing yourself, and apologizing for things you don't actually owe an apology for. Today, I'm going to tell you what guilt actually is, walk you through the four things people most commonly mistake for guilt, and give you a three-step, concrete process for figuring out what you're really feeling so you can deal with it effectively. Because you can't solve the right problem if you've named it wrong. _________ Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/you-dont-feel-guilty Download Is It Actually Guilt? A Quick Diagnostic to Name What You're Really Feeling: https:/abbymedcalf.com/is-it-guilt   Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack. You'll get... ✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes ✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations ✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby _________ Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week!  https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/  👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries 👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook 👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book  ____________________________ Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes. Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop Say hello on social: Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd  YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube Our Sponsors: * Check out Quince and use my code quince.com/rme for a great deal: https://www.quince.com * Check out Upwork and use my code upwork.com for a great deal: https://www.upwork.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    384. You're Not Feeling Guilty. Here's What's Really Going On.
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Trailer

4.8
out of 5
479 Ratings

About

The research says the key to a happy life is happy relationships. But how exactly do you make your relationships better? That’s what this show is all about.   I’m Dr. Abby Medcalf, psychologist, best-selling author, TEDx speaker, and (according to my kids) the bossy Jewish mom you didn’t know you needed. With decades of experience and millions of listeners in over 180 countries, I give you the no-fluff, research-backed strategies to make all your relationships better: with your partner, your family, your friends, and (most importantly) yourself.   Every week on the Relationships Made Easy podcast, I mix straight talk, humor, and science to help you communicate effectively, set healthy boundaries, and stop second-guessing yourself. Because great relationships aren’t built in a day. Great relationships are built daily.

Information

  • Creator
    Dr. Abby Medcalf
  • Years Active
    2018 - 2026
  • Episodes
    400
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2025 Abby Medcalf. All Rights Reserved.455209
  • Show Website
    Relationships Made Easy

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