Planning for Ageing Parents: The Crisis Before the Crisis Where is Mum’s will? Who knows about Dad’s bank accounts? And who could make decisions if either of them became seriously unwell? These questions are easy to put off. While everyone is managing, there always seems to be something more pressing. Then something changes. A parent has a fall, becomes confused or struggles to cope at home. Suddenly, the family needs answers while also dealing with worry, work and everyday responsibilities. In this episode of the MoneyTrainers podcast, Richard Smith talks with Reverend Karen Acres about The Last Ten Years, his project to help people prepare for later life. Richard calls it “the crisis before the crisis”: the point when families need to get organised, before an urgent situation makes everything harder. What is The Last Ten Years? The Last Ten Years grew out of Richard’s earlier Dying to Know events and his experience helping people navigate financial and family decisions. The name does not mean anyone can predict how long they have left. It gives people a starting point for thinking about the years ahead. What would help you live well? What support might you need? What would your family need to know if you could no longer manage everything yourself? In the episode, Richard describes a project built around practical information, workshops and individual conversations. The subjects range from care arrangements and important documents to powers of attorney, funeral wishes and what happens after someone dies. It is relevant both to older people making their own plans and to adult children supporting ageing parents. Why planning for ageing parents affects the whole family Richard describes a situation many listeners will recognise. You are in your 50s or 60s, working or running a business. You may still have children at school or university. Your parents have been independent for years, but now they need more help. At first, it might be shopping, appointments or sorting out a bill. Over time, those requests can become more frequent and more complicated. The family is then trying to understand care services, finances and legal arrangements while keeping everything else going. Richard’s point is that planning needs to cover this period of increasing dependence as well as what happens after death. Who could help with the money? What support would a parent accept at home? Have they expressed any wishes about future care? Those conversations can begin while there is time to consider the answers. Start with a family paperwork rehearsal One of Richard’s practical suggestions is to rehearse what would happen if someone became seriously ill or died. That means sitting down together and asking where things are and who would know what to do. A useful starting list includes: Wills and the contact details of executors. Lasting powers of attorney and details of appointed attorneys. Bank accounts, pensions and insurance policies. Property records and mortgage information. Existing care arrangements and key contacts. Funeral wishes and any relevant plans. Instructions for finding important digital records securely. The aim is to establish what exists, what needs reviewing and where the information can be found. Knowing that a will was written years ago is useful. Knowing where the signed original is kept, and whether the appointed executors can still act, is more useful when someone needs it. Why a lasting power of attorney matters A central theme of the episode is making arrangements while you can still choose who should help you. In England and Wales, a lasting power of attorney, or LPA, allows you to appoint someone to help make decisions or make decisions on your behalf. You must have the mental capacity to make the LPA when you create it. There are two types: Property and financial affairs, covering matters such as banking, bills and property. Health and welfare, covering matters such as daily care, medical treatment and moving into a care home. A health and welfare LPA can only be used when you cannot make the relevant decision yourself. A registered property and financial affairs LPA can also be used with your permission while you retain capacity. Different arrangements apply in Scotland and Northern Ireland. Read the GOV.UK guide to lasting powers of attorney. Karen raises a concern that can make people reluctant to act: what if someone does not want their spouse controlling their affairs? Richard’s response is that the person can choose whom to appoint. The conversation should begin with trust, choice and an explanation of what the document allows. Discuss future treatment wishes The episode also explores how families can understand someone’s wishes about medical care before a serious illness makes communication difficult. In England and Wales, an advance decision to refuse treatment, sometimes called a living will, can record specific treatments someone would refuse in defined circumstances if they later cannot make or communicate that decision. It is different from a general statement of preferences. To be legally binding, it must meet the relevant requirements and apply to the situation. Additional formalities apply when refusing life-sustaining treatment. The NHS recommends discussing these choices with a healthcare professional who understands your medical history. Read the NHS guidance on advance decisions. For families, the starting point is a conversation about what matters to the person. That can help identify which wishes need to be discussed with clinicians and recorded formally. Make space for difficult family conversations Karen and Richard discuss how quickly disagreements can emerge when someone becomes unwell. One relative may believe a parent would want a particular treatment. Another may remember a different conversation. Neither may know whether anything was written down. Planning cannot remove every difficult decision, but it can give families a clearer understanding of the person’s wishes and the arrangements already in place. These conversations also need sensitivity. A parent may feel that questions about money or care threaten their independence. Starting with “What would you want us to know?” gives them room to explain their priorities. It also makes clear that their views belong at the centre of the discussion. Workshops, information and practical support In the recording, Richard outlines his plans for The Last Ten Years, including small group workshops in workplaces and community settings, online information and individual consultations. Workplace sessions are particularly relevant to people balancing employment with support for older relatives. Community sessions offer another setting where people can ask questions and work out what to address next. Richard also discusses his ambition to develop community funding and widen access to the project. Services and funding arrangements may change as it develops. For current information and ways to get in touch, visit The Last Ten Years. Begin with one manageable step Later life planning can feel like a long list of unfamiliar tasks. Start with one conversation. Find the will. Ask whether powers of attorney exist. Write down the name of the person who holds important documents. Then identify the next question that needs an answer. That is the practical purpose behind The Last Ten Years: helping people understand what needs attention while they still have time to make choices. Listen to the MoneyTrainers podcast episode with Richard Smith and Karen Acres, and find out more about the project at www.thelasttenyears.co.uk. Podcast summary Suggested episode title: The Last Ten Years: Planning for Ageing Parents Before a Crisis Where is the will? Who could manage the finances? And what happens if an ageing parent suddenly needs more care? In this episode of the MoneyTrainers podcast, Richard Smith talks with Reverend Karen Acres about The Last Ten Years, his project to help individuals and families prepare for later life. Richard explains what he calls “the crisis before the crisis”: the period when practical arrangements need attention, before illness or increasing care needs turn them into urgent problems. Together, they discuss locating important paperwork, understanding lasting powers of attorney, talking about future treatment wishes and supporting older parents alongside work and family responsibilities. Richard also introduces his plans for workshops, information resources and individual support, building on his earlier Dying to Know events. A direct, practical conversation about the decisions we put off—and how taking one step now can make things easier for the people we love. In this episode: What The Last Ten Years project aims to do. The pressures facing people supporting ageing parents. Richard’s family paperwork rehearsal. Lasting powers of attorney and choosing someone you trust. Conversations about future care and treatment wishes. Plans for workplace and community workshops. Podcast: MoneyTrainers Host: Richard Smith Guest: Reverend Karen Acres Find out more: www.thelasttenyears.co.uk , You can book at one to one session on the website or get in touch using the Contact Form