Sober Friends

Matt J
  • 4.3 (718)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Weekly

The Sober Friends Podcast: Two Guys Talking Recovery Matt and Steve have been sober for over a decade each. They still don't have it all figured out. This is a podcast about recovery - AA recovery specifically - but it's not your sponsor's recovery podcast. It's two friends talking through the stuff that actually matters: What do you DO when you're not drinking? How do you handle control issues 15 years in? Why does calling someone in recovery feel so goddamn hard? What happens when you remove alcohol but don't replace it with anything? And seriously, do you miss drinking or do you just miss the relief? Every week Matt and Steve work through these questions together - sometimes they have answers, sometimes they're figuring it out in real time, and sometimes they just need to talk it out like you do with a friend who gets it. If you're in recovery, thinking about recovery, or just trying to figure out how to live without alcohol as your coping mechanism - welcome. Grab some coffee. Let's talk. Topics: Alcoholics Anonymous, 12-step recovery, sobriety, addiction, relapse, service work, early recovery, staying sober, and everything in between. Matt and Steve work AA programs but speak only for themselves. This show isn't affiliated with Alcoholics Anonymous. New episodes weekly at soberfriendspod.com

  1. 5d ago

    E277: The Voice Didn’t Go Away When I Got Sober

    Send us Fan Mail Getting sober does not automatically make the voice in your head disappear. In this episode, Matt and Steve talk about the part of the mind that used to minimize drinking — you’re not that bad, other people drink more, you’re overreacting — and how that same voice can show up later in sobriety as doubt, fear, or the feeling that you don’t deserve what you have. Matt shares how anxiety led his brain to start filling in the blanks with stories: that his work did not matter, that the podcast was vanity, that he was somehow a fraud. The conversation gets into why those thoughts can feel so convincing, why we are often poor judges of ourselves in isolation, and why recovery requires learning how to question the voice instead of automatically believing it. Support the show 📫 Get more honest conversations about sobriety delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to The Sober Friends Dispatch, our weekly newsletter where we go beyond the podcast to share real strategies for alcohol-free living. Join our community by clicking here.

    31 min

  2. May 19

    E276 Learn to Sit With Yourself

    Send us Fan Mail There’s a weird part of sobriety where nothing is technically wrong, but you still feel uncomfortable in your own skin. In this episode, Matt and Steve talk about what happens when alcohol is gone, but the restlessness, anxiety, expectations, and urge to escape are still there. They get into why discomfort does not always mean something is wrong, how ordinary life can still feel hard sober, and why learning to sit with yourself is not the same as isolating or forcing yourself to tough it out. Sometimes the work is naming the feeling, asking what you are trying to escape, and doing the next small right thing instead of running. Support the show 📫 Get more honest conversations about sobriety delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to The Sober Friends Dispatch, our weekly newsletter where we go beyond the podcast to share real strategies for alcohol-free living. Join our community by clicking here.

    34 min

  3. May 10

    E275: Stop Arguing With Reality for One Day

    Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt and Steve talk about acceptance in sobriety — not as approval, not as giving up, and not as pretending everything is fine. It is about getting honest with reality instead of wasting energy trying to control people, outcomes, feelings, or the past. They dig into why acceptance can feel so uncomfortable for newcomers, especially when it sounds passive or weak. The conversation gets into control, resentment, asking for help, and the simple but difficult practice of seeing what is actually in front of you before deciding what to do next. Support the show 📫 Get more honest conversations about sobriety delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to The Sober Friends Dispatch, our weekly newsletter where we go beyond the podcast to share real strategies for alcohol-free living. Join our community by clicking here.

    31 min

  4. May 5

    E274: Sober Twelve Years. Still Avoiding the Phone

    Send us Fan Mail Matt and Steve talk about what happens when old alcoholic thinking shows up without the alcohol. Matt shares what it has been like tapering off medication, including the dark, isolating feeling that reaching out would not help — even when he knows connection usually does. They also get into emotional overreactions, escape fantasies, family stress, broken phones, sponsor avoidance, and the uncomfortable truth that recovery still asks for action long after the drinking stops. This episode is about those moments when you know what the program suggests, but doing it feels like the hardest possible thing. Support the show 📫 Get more honest conversations about sobriety delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to The Sober Friends Dispatch, our weekly newsletter where we go beyond the podcast to share real strategies for alcohol-free living. Join our community by clicking here.

    33 min

  5. Apr 28

    E273: A 13-Year-Old Knew He’d Been Drinking

    Send us Fan Mail A 13-year-old goes to Six Flags and comes back with a story—she could tell right away that another parent had been drinking. No one told her. She just knew. That moment turns into a bigger conversation about what kids actually pick up on, how early they figure things out, and what it means when you think you’re hiding your drinking—but you’re not. Matt and Steve talk about being that parent, how relationships with kids quietly slip over time, and what changes when you’re finally present and sober. What kids notice (even when you think they don’t)Drinking to “feel normal” in everyday situationsHow connection with your kids slowly erodesWhy sobriety changes more than just your drinkingSupport the show 📫 Get more honest conversations about sobriety delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to The Sober Friends Dispatch, our weekly newsletter where we go beyond the podcast to share real strategies for alcohol-free living. Join our community by clicking here.

    33 min

  6. Apr 21

    E272: Why You Know What to Do… But Still Don’t Do It

    Send us Fan Mail Ever know exactly what you should do… and still can’t make yourself do it? That’s what this episode is about. This week, Matt and Steve talk about the kind of overwhelm that doesn’t show up as a crisis — it just builds quietly until everything feels heavy. The to-do list grows, your brain won’t shut off, and even simple things start to feel harder than they should. They get into: Why there’s a gap between knowing and doingHow “keep it simple” can help — or become a trapWhat it actually looks like to pull yourself back when you feel stuckAnd why sometimes the smallest action — even when you don’t feel like it — is what breaks the cycle. If you’ve ever felt stuck, overwhelmed, or like you’re not doing what you “should” be doing, this one will hit. Support the show 📫 Get more honest conversations about sobriety delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to The Sober Friends Dispatch, our weekly newsletter where we go beyond the podcast to share real strategies for alcohol-free living. Join our community by clicking here.

    33 min

  7. Apr 14

    E271: I Did Everything Right… So Why Is This Happening?

    Send us Fan Mail Ever feel like you’re doing everything right… and it still blows up anyway? That’s what this episode is about. This week, Matt and Steve talk about those moments when life hits hard even when you’re showing up, doing the work, and trying to stay on track. The kind of setbacks that make you question what the point is—and whether any of it is actually working. They get into: Why doing the “right things” doesn’t guarantee smooth outcomesHow to deal with frustration when things feel unfairAnd what it looks like to stay grounded when everything around you feels like it’s falling apartIf you’ve ever thought, “Why is this happening when I’m doing everything I’m supposed to?”—this one will land. Support the show 📫 Get more honest conversations about sobriety delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to The Sober Friends Dispatch, our weekly newsletter where we go beyond the podcast to share real strategies for alcohol-free living. Join our community by clicking here.

    39 min

  8. Apr 7

    E270: The Most Owned, Least Understood Book in Recovery

    Send us Fan Mail A lot of people in AA have a Big Book. Fewer people know how to actually use it. Matt was one of those people for a long time — and he's willing to admit it. In this episode Matt and Steve dig into what the Big Book actually is and what it isn't. It's not a memoir. It's not a devotional. It's not a loose collection of Bill Wilson's thoughts. It's a textbook — sequential by design, with chapters that build on each other deliberately. Read it out of order, rush through it, or try to go it alone and you'll likely miss most of what it's trying to teach you. They talk about why the book works best when you go through it with someone who knows it — a sponsor, a Big Book study group, or resources like Joe and Charlie — and why the stories in the back, as valuable as they are for identifying with the problem, are not the instructions. The first 164 pages are the instructions. Matt also recommends Writing the Big Book by William Schaberg — a deep dive into the original source material and manuscripts that gives you the historical context to understand what you're actually reading. If the Big Book has felt confusing, inaccessible, or like something you had to get through rather than something you got to learn from — this episode is for you. Find Sober Friends: Website: https://www.soberfriendspod.com Email: matt@soberfriendspod.com Support the show 📫 Get more honest conversations about sobriety delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to The Sober Friends Dispatch, our weekly newsletter where we go beyond the podcast to share real strategies for alcohol-free living. Join our community by clicking here.

    30 min
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Trailer

4.3
out of 5
718 Ratings

About

The Sober Friends Podcast: Two Guys Talking Recovery Matt and Steve have been sober for over a decade each. They still don't have it all figured out. This is a podcast about recovery - AA recovery specifically - but it's not your sponsor's recovery podcast. It's two friends talking through the stuff that actually matters: What do you DO when you're not drinking? How do you handle control issues 15 years in? Why does calling someone in recovery feel so goddamn hard? What happens when you remove alcohol but don't replace it with anything? And seriously, do you miss drinking or do you just miss the relief? Every week Matt and Steve work through these questions together - sometimes they have answers, sometimes they're figuring it out in real time, and sometimes they just need to talk it out like you do with a friend who gets it. If you're in recovery, thinking about recovery, or just trying to figure out how to live without alcohol as your coping mechanism - welcome. Grab some coffee. Let's talk. Topics: Alcoholics Anonymous, 12-step recovery, sobriety, addiction, relapse, service work, early recovery, staying sober, and everything in between. Matt and Steve work AA programs but speak only for themselves. This show isn't affiliated with Alcoholics Anonymous. New episodes weekly at soberfriendspod.com

Information

  • Creator
    Matt J
  • Years Active
    2019 - 2026
  • Episodes
    464
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Sober Friends
  • Show Website
    Sober Friends

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