Other People's Shoes

Neil Matthews

On my show, I intentionally create space for every voice and every point of view to be heard. Honest, constructive conversations have a way of opening our eyes to stories we might otherwise miss. After all, when you step into Other People’s Shoes, you gain what we’re all searching for… a different perspective on life.

  1. Unlovable Flower

    13H AGO

    Unlovable Flower

    🎙 UNLOVEABLE FLOWER 📝  "THE LIST" We all carry names we struggle to say out loud. Some names still sting.Some names still echo.Some names still have the power to change our mood the second we hear them. And sometimes…the hardest part isn’t what they did. It’s what their actions made us believe about ourselves. 📝  Do me a favor… Close your eyes right now.(Only if you’re somewhere safe.) Think of a name. A person whose name still brings anger…hurt…frustration…sadness. Maybe hearing their name still makes your stomach turn.Maybe seeing it written on paper would bring all those feelings rushing back.Maybe there’s even a celebrity who shares that same name…and you can’t stand them either. Now open your eyes. That person isn’t standing in front of you.They aren’t texting you.They aren’t calling you. But they still live somewhere inside your story. And this week’s guest knows exactly what that feels like. 👣 GUEST INTRODUCTION Brooke Van Doren knows what it feels like when betrayal detonates your world overnight. After discovering her husband’s affair, Brooke found herself spiraling through heartbreak, confusion, anger, and childhood wounds she didn’t even realize were still shaping her life. Therapy became more than survival. It became a mirror. A place where she was forced to confront trauma, grief, behavioral patterns, accountability, and the parts of herself she had spent years trying to outrun. Now a therapist-in-training, speaker, author, and founder of Messy Healing, Brooke helps others navigate betrayal, anxiety, emotional overwhelm, and healing without shame or judgment. Because healing isn’t neat.It isn’t polished.And it definitely isn’t linear. Sometimes the mess is exactly where the truth begins. ✏️ IN THIS EPISODE 💔 Can a marriage survive infidelity? 🧠 How imagination can become its own form of torture 🪞 The painful connection between betrayal and childhood wounds 🌱 Why healing starts with radical honesty 📓 How journaling became part of Brooke’s recovery process 😔 The emotional weight of feeling “unloveable” ❤️ What forgiveness actually looks like in real life 👣 Learning how to sit with pain instead of running from it ❓TAKE AWAY... Could you heal after discovering your spouse was unfaithful? What would you do if you found photos of your spouse with someone else? How often does your imagination make the pain worse? Is there something you could never forgive in a marriage? 🌿  MESSY HEALING Through her platform “Messy Healing,” Brooke creates tools and conversations centered around emotional healing, therapy, accountability, nervous system regulation, and self-awareness. Her Therapy Companion Journals were created from her own personal need to process emotions between therapy sessions — helping people identify triggers, emotional patterns, anxiety responses, and ways to better communicate and care for themselves. Brooke believes healing continues outside the therapist’s office…and sometimes writing things down helps us finally connect the dots. 🔗 CONNECT WITH BROOKE 🌐 Website: Messy Healing📸 Instagram: @messyhealing 👟 OTHER PEOPLE’S SHOES 📸 Instagram 👍 Facebook 🐦 X (Twitter) ▶️ YouTube 🌐 Website ⭐ LEAVE A REVIEW If this episode challenged you, made you uncomfortable, or helped you feel a little less alone… Please share it. And if Other People’s Shoes has impacted you in some way, consider leaving a review. Your words help more people step into stories that might change the way they see others… and themselves.

    41 min
  2. Outside

    MAY 20

    Outside

    🎙 OUTSIDE THE LIST We all carry one. A list of moments.A list of people.A list of choices we wish we could undo. Sometimes forgiveness isn’t just about what was done to us…sometimes it’s about facing the damage we caused ourselves. 👣 GUEST INTRODUCTION Matthew Sisneros shares a story marked by consequences, regret, and the long road toward accountability. In this episode of Other People’s Shoes, we step outside the headlines and into the human story behind a life-altering decision connected to an armed robbery in Buffalo, Minnesota. What happens after the headlines fade? What does remorse really look like when the dust settles and you’re left alone with your choices? And can someone ever truly find redemption after becoming known for the worst thing they’ve ever done? This conversation is raw, honest, and deeply reflective as we talk about guilt, shame, accountability, forgiveness, and the difficult process of rebuilding a life from the outside looking in. 📝 FACTS ABOUT THE CASE During this episode, we discuss the events surrounding an armed robbery that took place on April 24, 2013, at McDonald’s in Buffalo, Minnesota. According to federal court records: Matthew Sisneros later pleaded guilty in federal court connected to the robbery. Approximately $3,466 was taken from the restaurant. Employees were threatened with a sawed-off 12-gauge shotgun during the incident. 🎧 EPISODE TAKEAWAYS One decision can change everything. Shame grows in isolation. Accountability is painful… but necessary. Forgiveness does not erase consequences. Redemption starts when honesty replaces hiding. 👟 OPS Links Instagram Facebook X (Twitter) YouTube Website ⭐ LEAVE US A REVIEW If this episode challenged you, moved you, or made you think differently about forgiveness and redemption, please consider leaving a review. Your support helps more people step into the stories of others… one pair of shoes at a time.

    38 min
  3. Staircase

    MAY 13

    Staircase

    ⚠️ CONTENT WARNING This episode contains discussions surrounding suicide, trauma, grief, and emotional loss that may be difficult for some listeners. Listener discretion is advised. If you or someone you know is struggling, please know you are not alone. In the United States and Canada, help is available by calling or texting 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. There is hope. There is help. And your story is not over. 🎙 STAIRCASE THE LIST We all wish forgiveness happened in a moment. One apology. One prayer. One decision… and suddenly the pain disappears. But forgiveness usually doesn’t work like that. It’s more like climbing a staircase. One step forward. One hard conversation. One choice to let go… even when part of you still wants to hold on. Some days you feel like you’re making progress. Other days you feel stuck on the same step you’ve been standing on for years. Because forgiveness isn’t easy. Especially when the wounds run deep. Sometimes the wounds come from betrayal. Sometimes from loss. Sometimes from tragedy so heavy it changes everything that comes after it. This season, we’re stepping into stories about the list the people, the moments, and the pain we carry and what it really looks like to begin crossing names off one step at a time. 👣 GUEST INTRODUCTION Heather Mylan-Mains knows forgiveness is not a straight line. It’s a climb. A process built one painful, intentional step at a time. Heather often says she has a “PhD in life,” because she’s survived more hard days than she can count. Through family fractures, heartbreak, loss, and unimaginable tragedy, she discovered something life-changing: We are not defined by what happens to us… but by how we choose to respond. In this deeply honest conversation, Heather shares about surviving the trauma of her husband taking his own life by shooting himself in the head a moment that forever altered the course of her story and forced her to wrestle with grief, pain, anger, questions, and ultimately forgiveness. Rather than allowing bitterness to define her, Heather chose to begin the difficult climb toward healing. Her journey eventually led her to create a seven-step forgiveness framework rooted in faith, healing, mercy, and grace through Jesus Christ’s atonement. In this episode, Heather shares how forgiveness transformed her relationships, her outlook, and even the way she sees suffering itself. She’s the author of Unwrapping Forgiveness: The Gift of Mercy and Grace, where she openly shares her story and the lessons she learned while learning to forgive. Professionally, Heather helps organizations and teams solve complex problems with a background in accounting and an MBA but her deepest work may be helping people untangle the weight unforgiveness leaves behind. From Des Moines, Heather lives with contagious gratitude, unwavering optimism, and a belief that even the hardest moments can still become opportunities for healing. 💭 INSIGHT TO TAKE AWAY How tightly are you still holding onto unforgiveness? Is there someone whose name still lives on your list? What if forgiveness isn’t about giving control back to the person who hurt you… but finally releasing their control over you? Are you willing to make amends if the opportunity came? And what role does grace play in learning to let go? Sometimes healing doesn’t happen all at once. Sometimes it looks like a staircase. One step at a time. 🌐 CONNECT  Website: Heather Mylan-Mains Official Website Instagram: @mylanmains Book: Unwrapping Forgiveness: The Gift of Mercy and Grace 👟 OTHER PEOPLE’S SHOES Instagram 👟 Facebook 👟 X (Twitter) 👟 YouTube 👟 Website 👟 ⭐ LEAVE US A REVIEW If this episode challenged you, encouraged you, or helped you rethink forgiveness… don’t keep it to yourself. Leave a Review 👟

    44 min
  4. The Moment

    MAY 6

    The Moment

    🎙 THE MOMENT We all have one. A list we don’t write down. A list we don’t talk about. A list of people we just can’t seem to forgive. Maybe it’s what they said. Maybe it’s what they did. Maybe it’s what they took. And if we’re being honest… sometimes the hardest name on that list… is our own. This season, we’re stepping into stories shaped by who made the list and what it really takes to start crossing names off. 👣 GUEST INTRODUCTION Joe Chris Rodriguez knows what it feels like to have life split into two parts: Before… and after the moment. While serving in the United States Air Force, Joe Chris experienced a tragic encounter that didn’t just alter his path, it completely rewrote it. In an instant, everything changed. The future he had imagined was gone. The life he knew was no longer possible. And what followed wasn’t just physical recovery, it was a fight in the dark. A fight with pain. A fight with questions. A fight with thoughts he never thought he’d have. Joe Chris opens up about suicidal ideation… about the weight of hopelessness… and about wondering if life would ever feel worth living again. But somewhere in that darkness, something began to shift. Forgiveness isn’t always about someone else. Sometimes… It’s about learning how to live with what happened. Sometimes… It’s about facing the version of yourself you don’t recognize anymore. And today, Joe Chris is doing more than surviving; he’s helping others find their way forward. Through his nonprofit, he’s providing wheelchairs so people can compete, belong, and experience life again, not watching from the sidelines, but back in the game. One chair at a time. One life at a time. 💡 EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS The moment that changed everything, and how fast life can shift Walking through darkness and facing suicidal thoughts honestly When forgiveness feels impossible, where do you even begin? The importance of having “your person” (your 911 call) Finding hope when life no longer looks the way you planned 🔗 CONNECT WITH ONE CHAIR AT A TIME 🌐 Website 📘 Facebook 📸 Instagram 🎧 LISTEN & FOLLOW OTHER PEOPLE’S SHOES 🩵 Instagram 👍 Facebook 🐦 X (Twitter) 📺 YouTube 👟 Website 📣 LEAVE US A REVIEW If this episode made you think about your list—the names you carry, the weight you’ve been holding, or the one person you might need to forgive don’t keep it to yourself. Leave a review and let us know how this story impacted you.

    44 min
  5. Bag Of Coal

    APR 29

    Bag Of Coal

    🎙 BAG OF COAL 🚪 All season long, we’ve been standing at the door. Hearing the knock.Asking the question.Wondering who or what is waiting on the other side. Sometimes it’s opportunity.Sometimes it’s pain.Sometimes it’s a story you never saw coming. And sometimes… it’s a place you’ve never been before. This is the season finale of the Who’s There season. The final knock. The final door. 👣 GUEST INTRODUCTION For the first time in the history of Other People’s Shoes, we’re opening the door to West Virginia. When I first started this podcast, I had a goal: sit down with someone from every state in the United States. One story at a time. One pair of shoes at a time. Now, after years of conversations… we’re down to just one state left. But before we get there… this door had to open. And behind it is Vanessa Hankins. Vanessa is the host of Tri-State Time Machine, a storytelling podcast that uncovers the history, mystery, and unforgettable people of West Virginia, Ohio, and Kentucky one era at a time. But this conversation isn’t just about where she’s from……it’s about what she’s walked through. This episode is called A Bag of Coal. Because coal, under pressure, doesn’t stay coal. It becomes something entirely different. And Vanessa’s story is full of those moments the kind that feel heavy, overlooked, maybe even discarded at first… but over time, turn into something strong, something valuable… something that shines. As we close this season, maybe the question isn’t just who’s there? Maybe it’s… what has been there all along… waiting to be transformed? 💡 EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS Opening with a familiar song that feels like coming home The first-ever visit to West Virginia in show history The original 50-state goal and being just one story away What pressure reveals about who we really are Why some of life’s heaviest moments carry hidden value The power of storytelling to connect past, present, and purpose Seeing your own “bag of coal” in a new way 🔗 CONNECT WITH VANESSA HANKINS 🎧 Podcast: Tri-State Time Machinehttps://feeds.captivate.fm/ts-time-machine/?fbclid=IwY2xjawRcxXZleHRuA2FlbQIxMABicmlkETFhV0NCR204SWJvaDBMT3Nyc3J0YwZhcHBfaWQQMjIyMDM5MTc4ODIwMDg5MgABHn72b6hRBQ55OTDW1S4Xg-xjt3Bk45iU8oru5j0hERrOHwN4B4JfEDfZAtzh_aem_CKR18phH8kzat9JLcoseLA 📸 Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/tristatetimemachine/ 🎧 LISTEN & FOLLOW OTHER PEOPLE’S SHOES 🩵 Instagram 👍 Facebook 🐦 X (Twitter) 📺 YouTube 👟 Website 📣 LEAVE US A REVIEW If this season finale made you stop, reflect, or see your own story a little differently don’t keep that to yourself. 👉 Leave a review and let us know…

    46 min
  6. What IF...

    APR 22

    What IF...

    🎙WHAT IF... 🚪 This season leans into the moments when life knocks quietly or loudly and asks a simple question: are you there to answer? It’s about presence. Awareness. And what happens when we stop missing the moments right in front of us. 👣 GUEST INTRODUCTION: Today, you’re stepping into the shoes of Jon Sheldon. Jon is a leadership, growth, and small unit coach who works with high-performers helping them lead with authenticity, stay aligned with what actually matters, and build sustainable systems for growth. His journey started as a Marine squad leader and carried into the world of Fortune 500 sales, where pressure, discipline, and resilience weren’t optional… they were required. Now, Jon brings that same clarity into his coaching grounded in stoic calm, radical honesty, and a belief that real growth starts when you stop avoiding the truth and start owning it. This conversation asks a simple but uncomfortable question:What if we actually showed up for our lives? 💡 EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS: What success really looks like when you strip away the noise? The difference between “Now” and “Next” what does that mean? Why presence is harder and more important than ever? Why giving yourself grace for the past without letting it define your future? How stepping back can actually launch you forward? The cost of distraction… and what it’s quietly stealing from your life? 🔗 CONNECT WITH JON SHELDON: 🌐 Website: https://www.belleauwood.coach/ 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/belleauWood_Coaching 🎧 OTHER PEOPLE’S SHOES: 🩵 Instagram 👍 Facebook 🐦 X (Twitter) 📺 YouTube 👟 Website 📣 LEAVE US A REVIEW: If this episode made you pause… think… or maybe even put your phone down for a second—don’t keep that to yourself. 👉 Leave a review and let us know what hit home for you. Because sometimes the biggest question isn’t what if… It’s why not now?

    44 min
  7. Little Mermaid

    APR 15

    Little Mermaid

    🎙 LITTLE MERMAID…PART OF THAT WORLD 🚪  There’s a knock at the door. Not loud. Not forced. Just steady. Patient.This season is about learning to recognize that sound… and having the courage to answer it. 📖 A KNOCK WORTH ANSWERING “Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends.”  Revelation Sometimes the voice we’re searching for… has been right outside the door all along. For me, this verse is simple but powerful Jesus doesn’t force His way in. He knocks. He waits. He invites. Now here’s where this episode gets real… Lauren may not see that the same way. And that’s okay. This isn’t about agreeing on everything it’s about stepping into someone else’s shoes long enough to understand how they see the world. And maybe that’s part of the message too… not just hearing the knock but how we respond to the people on the other side of the door. And here’s the tension we wrestle with in this episode: "Out of 100 men, one will read the Bible, the other 99 will read the Christian." Dwight L. Moody What does your life say… before you ever say a word? 👣 GUEST INTRODUCTION: LAUREN PEARLINGI Lauren Pearlingi lives in that space where healing meets identity. Her work isn’t surface-level it goes deep into the parts of our story we’ve either buried, avoided, or misunderstood. As an Intuitive Human Design Business Guide, Trauma Healer, Theta Reiki Master, Meditation Coach, Author, Motivational Speaker, and Shamanic Practitioner, Lauren helps women untangle complex trauma and step back into who they were always meant to be. Her approach blends energy work with grounded, practical insight helping people move from feeling stuck in their past… to standing confidently in their purpose. Through her work with The Mermaid Light, Lauren invites people to see their lives differently not as something that happened to them, but something they can understand, hold, and ultimately transform. This conversation feels a lot like Ariel standing at the edge of two worlds… asking, “Where do I belong?” 💡 EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS Did we get Jesus’ message wrong? What do you think of intuitive people? What does it mean to be an observer of your story like placing it on a shelf? What is the emotional attachment to your story? What does it mean to bring your story back in… off the shelf? 🔗 CONNECT WITH LAUREN PEARLINGI TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@themermaidlight   🎧 LISTEN & FOLLOW OTHER PEOPLE’S SHOES 🩵 Instagram 👍 Facebook 🐦 X (Twitter) 📺 YouTube 👟 Website 📣 LEAVE US A REVIEW If this episode made you think… pause… or maybe even hear a knock you’ve been ignoring don’t keep that to yourself.Leave a review and let us know what part of the story stayed with you. 🚪 FINAL THOUGHT Some doors don’t need to be forced open.They just need to be answered.

    40 min
  8. Fix It

    APR 8

    Fix It

    🎙 FIX IT 🚪 Every knock carries a moment… a decision… a person… or a truth we didn’t see coming.This season is about answering the door especially when what’s on the other side feels uncomfortable, uncertain… or completely unfixable. 👣 GUEST INTRODUCTION: What do you do when something breaks… and you can’t just fix it? Not with a quick apology.Not with time alone.Not with pretending it didn’t happen. This week, I’m joined by Dr. Bruce Chalmer a psychologist who’s spent over 30 years helping couples navigate conflict, betrayal, and the moments when everything feels like it’s falling apart. Early in his career, someone asked him how he does couples therapy. His answer? “Be kind. Don’t panic.”And later… he added a third piece:“Have faith.” Seven words that sound simple… until life puts them to the test. Because when betrayal enters the room when trust is broken, when someone crosses a line you can’t unsee the instinct is to fix it. Fast. But what if fixing it isn’t the first step?What if the real work is understanding what actually happened… and what it means now? In his book Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again, Dr. Chalmer walks through the emotional aftermath of betrayal and what it takes to move forward with clarity instead of panic. And through his podcast Couples Therapy in Seven Words, he brings those same ideas into real, honest conversations about intimacy, conflict, and connection grounded in both experience and everyday life. Can trust be rebuilt?Should it be?And is forgiveness something you choose… or something you grow into? Sometimes the knock at the door isn’t asking to be fixed.Sometimes it’s asking to be faced. 💡 EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS: 🧠 The three steps to forgiveness and how they play out in real relationships 🧩 The deeper meaning behind “Be kind, don’t panic, have faith” 💔 A real look at whether you can truly forgive deep betrayal ⚖️ When forgiveness is right… and when it might not be 🔍 How to learn to trust yourself again after being hurt 🔄 What moving forward actually looks like together or apart 🔗 CONNECT WITH DR. BRUCE CHALMER: 🌐 Website: https://brucechalmer.com/🎙 Podcast: https://couplestherapyinsevenwords.com/📚 Book: https://www.amazon.com/Betrayal-Forgiveness-Navigate-Turmoil-Learn/dp/B0D4R8HFHS/ref=sr_1_3 🎧 LISTEN & FOLLOW OTHER PEOPLE’S SHOES: 🩵 Instagram 👍 Facebook 🐦 X (Twitter) 📺 YouTube 👟 Website 📣 LEAVE US A REVIEW: If this episode made you pause and rethink what it really means to “fix” something or whether everything even can be fixed don’t keep that to yourself.Leave a review and let us know what stood out after stepping into Dr. Chalmer’s shoes.

    41 min
4.9
out of 5
77 Ratings

About

On my show, I intentionally create space for every voice and every point of view to be heard. Honest, constructive conversations have a way of opening our eyes to stories we might otherwise miss. After all, when you step into Other People’s Shoes, you gain what we’re all searching for… a different perspective on life.