Other People's Shoes

Neil Matthews
  • 4.9 (78)
  • Christianity
  • Updated Weekly

Other People’s Shoes is built on a simple idea: before we judge someone, we should understand what they’ve walked through. Host Neil Matthews creates space for honest conversations that challenge assumptions, grow empathy, and help us see the person behind the perspective. You may not agree with every guest, but you’ll leave with a different perspective on life.

  1. 6d ago

    Fore!

    🎙 Fore! On a golf course, that word is a warning. Something is coming. Pay attention. Protect yourself. Get ready. But life doesn't always shout “Fore!” before something comes flying toward us. For Kym Coco, there was no way to fully prepare for losing her husband, Stephen “Steve” Thompson. After Steve became seriously ill, the two of them realized their time together was limited. Their priorities changed. Schedules became simpler. Mornings became sacred. They chose to spend the time they had loving one another and writing together. Steve's transition on November 24, 2023, changed the course of Kym's life. This season of Other People's Shoes, Lost & Found, explores what happens when we lose something deeper than possessions. Identity. Purpose. Hope. Direction. Faith. Even the life we thought we'd have. More importantly, we're asking what we discover as we begin finding a new way forward. For Kym, that road has included writing, movement, yoga, and a familiar place where you learn very quickly that not every shot goes where you planned: the golf course. So what happens when life doesn't give you a warning? When nobody yells “Fore!” before the thing that changes everything? And after the impact, how do you find the courage to take another swing?   🧭 GUEST INTRODUCTION Kym Coco has spent much of her life exploring the connection between the body, mind, and spirit. With bachelor's and master's degrees in sports kinesiology, Kym's search for optimal health eventually led her to yoga, where she discovered not only greater physical strength and balance, but a way to quiet an overactive mind. That journey also introduced her to Stephen “Steve” Thompson. Their friendship became a marriage in 2011, and together they traveled, taught, and shared what they were learning about living with greater clarity and purpose. Their work eventually became the book It Just Makes Sense: 7 Principles for a Joyful and Stress-Free Life. Kym later created Swagtail, blending her experience in kinesiology, yoga, business, and her love of golf. In 2021, she published The Flexible Golfer. Then life changed. Only months after the book's release, Steve became seriously ill. Knowing their remaining time together might be short, Kym and Steve intentionally shifted their lives toward what mattered most: each other. Today, Kym continues carrying what they built together while learning what it means to move forward without the person who had walked beside her for so many years.   🧭 EPISODE DETAILS 🕰️ What changed when Kym and Steve realized their time together was limited 🏌️ The role golf has played in giving Kym somewhere to keep moving, focusing, and finding herself again 💔 The difference between preparing for someone's death and actually living in their absence 🧭 What it means to find a new direction when the life you expected is no longer available to you 👣 How grief changes the way we walk without necessarily ending the journey   🧭 MEMORABLE TAKEAWAY “Sometimes life doesn't shout ‘Fore!’ before impact. It just happens, and then we have to decide how we're going to take the next step.”   🧭 CONNECT WITH GUEST 🌿 Swagtail | 📖 Miracle on the Mountainside: A True Story of Tragedy Transformed into Life's Greatest Gift Kym's newest book, Miracle on the Mountainside, honors Steve's bold life and the remarkable story they shared.   🧭 LISTEN & FOLLOW OTHER PEOPLE'S SHOES 👟 Website | 📘 Facebook | 📸 Instagram | 𝕏 X | 🎬 TikTok | 🎧 Apple Podcasts Subscribe to Other People's Shoes wherever you listen to podcasts and continue walking with us through Season 24: Lost & Found. Sometimes understanding another person's journey begins simply by being willing to walk in Other People's Shoes.   🧭 LEAVE US A REVIEW If Lost & Found has made you think differently about loss, grief, identity, or what it means to find your way forward, I'd love to hear about your experience with the season. ⭐ Leave a review for Other People's Shoes Your words help more people discover these conversations and remind us that none of us walks through life entirely alone.

    Fore!

  2. Sep 2

    Choose Your Hard

    🎙 Choose Your Hard Season 24: Lost and Found | Guest: Cory Young Would you rather is a dangerous game to play. So, let’s play. Would you rather give up walking or give up the hobby you’re most passionate about? For most of us, it’s just a question. For Cory Young, something close to that choice became his life. This season of Other People's Shoes, Lost and Found, explores what happens when we lose more than something we can replace. Identity. Purpose. Hope. Direction. Faith. Sometimes even the life we thought we'd have. Through each story, we’ll discover that being lost doesn’t always mean the story is over. Sometimes losing what we knew is where we begin to find who we’re becoming. At just 20 years old, a surfing accident left Cory paralyzed from the neck down. The odds were staggering: roughly a one-in-a-million chance of breaking his spine and about a one-in-one-hundred chance of being left with permanent spinal damage requiring a wheelchair. Cory didn’t choose the accident. He didn’t choose what came with it. But he still had choices to make. How do you choose your hard when hard has already chosen you? Welcome to “Choose Your Hard,” an episode of Lost and Found.   🧭 GUEST INTRODUCTION Cory Young is an inspirational speaker, mentor, coach, disability adviser, and advocate whose life changed dramatically after a surfing accident at age 20. In the years that followed, Cory faced addiction, depression, anxiety, PTSD, financial hardship, and the difficult process of figuring out who he was and what life could still become. Today, nearly three decades after his accident, Cory has built a life filled with purpose, marriage, travel, service, and a desire to help others navigate their own adversity. His vision is to create a global ripple effect of hope, emotional fitness, service to others, and a genuine love and appreciation of life.   🧭 EPISODE DETAILS In “Choose Your Hard,” Neil and Cory explore: 🏄 The surfing accident that changed Cory’s life at just 20 years old 🎲 The incredible odds surrounding the spinal injury that left him paralyzed 🥊 What it really means to choose your hard when the hard wasn’t your choice 🧠 Why finding a new perspective can be difficult, but necessary 🌊 Whether life truly goes on after a life-altering accident 🎯 How Cory began finding purpose again after losing the future he expected 👟 Why moving forward doesn’t necessarily mean getting back what you lost 🔥 How Cory continues to chase the feeling of being fully alive And underneath the entire conversation is a question that sits right at the heart of Lost and Found: When life takes something you never thought you would lose, how do you decide what is still worth chasing?   🧭 MEMORABLE QUOTE “Choose your hard.”   🧭 CONNECT WITH GUEST 📘 Facebook | 🎬 YouTube Learn more about Cory Young, his story, mentoring, speaking, growth mindset development, water safety advocacy, and his mission to create a ripple effect of hope and appreciation for life.   🧭 LISTEN & FOLLOW OTHER PEOPLE'S SHOES 👟 Website | 📘 Facebook | 📸 Instagram | 𝕏 X | 🎬 TikTok | 🎧 Apple Podcasts   🧭 LEAVE US A REVIEW If Lost and Found has made you think about something you’ve lost, something you’re still searching for, or the hard you’re making in your own life, we’d love to hear from you.   📝 Leave a Review Thank you, Cory, for sharing your story and allowing us to see life from a different perspective. Thank you for walking in Other People's Shoes. 👟🩵

    Choose Your Hard

  3. Aug 26

    Growth

    🎙 Growth Season 23: The List | Guest: Greg Pihs What if forgiveness is something we have to grow into? All season long, The List has asked us to think about the names we carry. The people who hurt us. The people who disappointed us. The people whose names we might rather cross out than forgive. For our season finale, Greg Pihs brings us face-to-face with one of the hardest questions of the entire season: Can we grow beyond what someone did to us without pretending it didn't hurt? Greg's person on The List is someone many of us would find incredibly difficult to forgive. We're not going to tell you who. That's part of the story you need to hear for yourself. But much like so many conversations this season, Neil walks away wondering: How on earth do you forgive that? Welcome to “Growth,” the season finale of The List.   📝 GUEST INTRODUCTION Greg Pihs is a U.S. Marine veteran, NLP trainer, bestselling author, and founder of the 4th Dimension Mastermind. After surviving a deeply traumatic childhood and navigating life after multiple combat deployments, Greg dedicated his life to understanding the way our minds shape the reality we experience and how we can begin taking that power back. He is the bestselling author of The Power In The Pain and creator of Step Into Your Power. With this live breakthrough experience, participants confront limiting beliefs, including literally walking across fire. Today, Greg works with entrepreneurs, coaches, and leaders to help them reprogram their identity, own their stories, and build lives rooted in personal power.   📝 EPISODE DETAILS In “Growth,” Neil and Greg explore: 🌱 Why forgiveness may be something we grow into rather than arrive at overnight 🧠 How our beliefs and internal stories shape the way we experience pain 🎒 What happens when childhood trauma follows us into adulthood 🇺🇸 The impact of Greg's experiences as a U.S. Marine and multiple combat deployments 🔥 Why confronting limiting beliefs can require us to walk directly toward what scares us 👟 How we can acknowledge what someone did without allowing it to define the rest of our lives 📝 The person on Greg's list and the difficult road toward forgiveness 💭 What it means to develop a growth mindset around pain, hurt, identity, and healing 🌱 How our deepest pain can become part of our growth without becoming our identity And underneath the entire conversation is the question that has followed us throughout this season: What do we do with the names that are hardest to take off our list?   📝 MEMORABLE QUOTE “Maybe forgiveness isn't where growth ends. Maybe growth is how we get there.”   📝 CONNECT WITH GUEST 🌐 Website | 📸 Instagram Learn more about Greg Pihs, The Power In The Pain, the 4th Dimension Mastermind, and his work at Power In The Pain.   📝 LISTEN & FOLLOW OTHER PEOPLE'S SHOES 👟 Website | 📘 Facebook | 📸 Instagram | 𝕏 X | 🎬 TikTok | 🎧 Apple Podcasts   📝 LEAVE US A REVIEW If The List has challenged you to think differently about forgiveness, empathy, or one of the names you've been carrying, we'd love to hear from you. 📝 Leave a Review Twenty-three seasons have brought us here. We have talked about the names we write down, the names we hold onto, the names we struggle to forgive, and sometimes the hardest name of all: our own. Maybe we don't finish The List because every name suddenly disappears. Maybe we finish because we've grown enough to stop letting the list determine how we walk forward. Thank you, Greg, for helping us close this season with a conversation worthy of the journey. And thank you for walking through The List with us. Thank you for walking in other people's shoes. 👟🩵

    Growth

  4. Aug 19

    Why

    🎙 WHY   SEASON 23: THE LIST Close your eyes for a moment. Only do that if you are not driving right now. How do you picture your forever? For Oriana Sparks, forever looked like sitting on a dock, sipping a beer, and growing old beside the man she loved. Then, only days after giving birth to their third child, her husband was tragically taken from her. The dream disappeared in a moment. The future she had pictured was gone. How do you rebuild after that? How do you forgive the person responsible for taking your forever away? And when life leaves you asking why, how do you learn to sit still long enough to hear what your heart truly needs?   📝 GUEST INTRODUCTION Oriana Sparks is a mindfulness facilitator, speaker, and coach based in Toronto. For more than 20 years, mindfulness has been her anchor through everyday stress and life’s deepest challenges. After becoming a widow only days after giving birth to her third child, Oriana turned to meditation, breathwork, fitness, and yoga. These practices became more than healthy habits. They became lifelines. Through grief, resilience, and rebuilding, she discovered a truth that now sits at the heart of her work: Self-love is not indulgence. It is discipline. And it is what gives us real freedom. With a B.A. in Psychology, a decade of experience in corporate communications, and certifications in yoga and mindfulness facilitation, Oriana blends the science of the mind with the practice of slowing down, becoming present, and learning to live again.   📝 EPISODE DETAILS In this episode, Oriana shares the future she once imagined and what happened when that vision was suddenly taken from her. She and Neil explore grief, forgiveness, mindfulness, self-love, and the difficult questions that do not always come with simple answers. Why did this happen? How do you forgive? How do you move forward without leaving the person you lost behind? And how do you slow down long enough to be honest about what really matters?   📝 MICRO PAUSES Oriana introduces the practice of taking small, intentional pauses before entering a meeting, conversation, or meaningful moment. Ask yourself: Why am I here, and what is truly important? What do I want to give in this moment? What do I want to receive? How do I want to feel? How do I want others to feel? These questions help us step out of autopilot and become more present with ourselves and the people around us. Sometimes healing does not begin with a big breakthrough. Sometimes it begins with one breath. One pause. One honest question.   📝 MEMORABLE QUOTE   “Self-love isn’t indulgence. It’s discipline, and it’s what gives us real freedom.”   📝 CONNECT WITH ORIANA SPARKS ✨ Visit Oriana Sparks Joy   📝  FOLLOW OTHER PEOPLE’S SHOES Walk with us as we continue exploring the names, wounds, and questions we carry on The List. Sometimes the hardest question is not who hurt us. It is what we do with the life that remains. 👟 Website | 📘 Facebook | 📸 Instagram | 𝕏 X | 🎬 TikTok | 🎧 Apple Podcasts   📝 LEAVE US A REVIEW Has Other People’s Shoes helped you see life from a different perspective? Your rating and review help more people discover stories that inspire empathy, growth, and understanding. ⭐ Leave a Review Share this episode with someone who may be walking through grief, forgiveness, or a season filled with unanswered questions. One story can change the way someone walks.

    Why

  5. Aug 12

    Hate Myself

    ⚠️ LISTENER WARNING This episode contains a raw and detailed conversation about depression, grief, self-hatred, suicidal ideation, access to a firearm, and a specific suicide plan. It also discusses the death of someone by suicide. Some listeners may find this episode difficult or triggering. Listener discretion is strongly advised. If you or someone you know is struggling in the United States, call or text 988 or connect through the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. Conversations are confidential, and support is available anytime, day or night. If someone is in immediate danger, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency department. (988 Lifeline) 🎙 HATE MYSELF   Season 23: The List The hardest name on The List was mine. For years, I have sat behind this microphone and asked people to tell the truth about the hardest parts of their lives. This time, I handed the microphone to someone else. For the first time in the history of Other People’s Shoes, Dr. Amy Watson steps into the role of host. She asks the difficult questions, and I become the guest. There is no one else’s story for me to hide behind. One Sunday morning at the beginning of April, something inside me began to unravel. Depression, grief, shame, and self-hatred became a downward spiral. One week later, I was sitting in a hotel room in Portland, Oregon, confessing to my wife, Elizabeth, that I had made a plan to take my handgun and end my life. That sentence is difficult to write. It was even harder to say out loud. I borrowed the title Hate Myself from NF because those two words gave language to something I had been afraid to admit. The hardest person on my list to forgive was me.   📝 GUEST HOST INTRODUCTION Dr. Amy Watson is a trusted friend, a previous guest of Other People’s Shoes, and the host of Wednesdays with Watson. Through her work, Amy creates honest conversations about trauma, mental health, faith, healing, and the hope that can still be found after tremendous pain. (Wednesdays With Watson) In this episode, Amy does something no one has ever done before. She takes my chair. She becomes the host of Other People’s Shoes. With compassion, understanding, and a willingness to ask questions I might otherwise avoid, Amy helps me walk back into one of the darkest moments of my life. This time, I am the one being asked to walk honestly in my own shoes.   📝 EPISODE DETAILS In this deeply personal conversation, Amy and I discuss: The Sunday morning when my emotional spiral began The depression and grief I had been carrying quietly When suicidal thoughts became a specific plan Sitting in a Portland hotel room and finally telling Elizabeth the truth The fear and shame that made asking for help feel almost impossible What it was like to struggle while continuing to encourage other people Why I trusted Amy to take control of my show The role my faith played while I was struggling to hold on Why the hardest person on The List to forgive was myself The people and promises that reminded me there were still things worth living for This is not a polished story with an easy answer. It is a retelling of what happened when the person who normally asks the questions finally had to answer them. It is raw. It is vulnerable. It is real. Most importantly, I am still here to tell it.   📝 BEHIND THE TITLE The title of this episode was inspired by NF’s song “Hate Myself.” I did not choose it simply because it sounded dramatic. I chose it because it was honest. During that period of my life, I was not only fighting depression. I was fighting the belief that I was a burden, a failure, and someone who could not be forgiven. I have spent years encouraging people to believe that their stories matter. In this episode, I have to confront the fact that I had stopped believing my own did.   📝 THE STORY BEHIND THE ARTWORK The artwork for this episode was created for me as a gift by Amy’s friend, Hollis. Before we began recording, Amy told me that Hollis had died by suicide. That news forever changed the way I see this picture. What was already a meaningful representation of Other People’s Shoes now carries a weight I cannot fully explain. It reminds me that we do not always know what someone is carrying. It reminds me why conversations about depression, suicide, grief, and mental health cannot remain hidden behind shame. It reminds me that every pair of shoes holds a story, including the stories that ended before we were ready to say goodbye. We share Hollis’s artwork with gratitude for the gift she created and with tenderness toward everyone who knew and loved her. When I look at it now, I see a reminder that there are still people to reach for, truths to speak, steps to take, and things worth living for.   📝 MEMORABLE QUOTE “The hardest person on my list to forgive was me, because there were moments when I truly hated myself.”   📝 CONNECT WITH DR. AMY WATSON 🎙 Wednesdays with Watson 🎧 Wisdom From Watson 🤟🏼 Hand Model   📝 LISTEN & FOLLOW OTHER PEOPLE’S SHOES Every person has a story. Sometimes the story we most need to hear is the one someone is most afraid to tell. Thank you for giving me the space to tell mine. 👟 Website | 📘 Facebook | 📸 Instagram | 𝕏 X | 🎬 TikTok | 🎧 Apple Podcasts   📝 LEAVE US A REVIEW   This was the most difficult episode I have ever shared. My hope is that telling the truth about my darkest moment will help someone else feel less alone in theirs. If this conversation encouraged you to speak honestly, ask for help, or check on someone you love, please consider leaving a review. Your words may help another person find this episode when they need it most. 📝 Leave a Review You may hate where you are. You may even hate yourself. But your life is still worth living. Please stay. Your story is not over.

    Hate Myself

  6. Aug 5

    Party

    🎙 PARTY Season 23: The List | Episode 400 Four hundred episodes. Four hundred conversations created through early mornings, late nights, searching for guests, recording stories, editing audio, and believing that empathy can change the way we see one another. First and foremost, I want to thank my wife, Elizabeth. Other People’s Shoes began because she inspired me to stop talking about starting a podcast and finally take the first step. I am grateful for every guest who has trusted me with their story and allowed us to walk in their shoes. I also want to thank Garrett for his dedication throughout the early years of the show. I want to thank someone we have not talked about nearly enough, Gary, who gave me the gift of teaching me how to edit. Unfortunately, he was unable to teach me how to enjoy editing, but I will always be grateful for what he taught me. Most importantly, I thank Jesus for being the Lord of my life and continuing to inspire me to walk with empathy, love people well, and follow in His sandals every day. Whether this is your first episode or your 400th episode with us, thank you for listening, supporting the show, and being willing to walk in other people’s shoes. Now, let’s get this Party started.   📝 GUEST INTRODUCTION Have you ever heard something on the radio that caused you to stop everything and immediately respond? Maybe it was an advertisement, a speaker, a song, or simply a sentence that arrived at exactly the right moment. For Shā Sparks, something she heard on the radio led her to grab a pen and begin writing on a napkin. That small act became a defining moment in her life. The power of a pen, a napkin, and a message she was finally ready to hear began changing the way she understood her voice, her pain, and her future. What started as a quiet moment of recognition eventually became a party of change. Shā Sparks is a Certified Fearless Living Coach, speaker, facilitator, award-winning podcast host, and author. She is the proud daughter of a Vietnam War veteran, the co-founder of The Makers Machine, and the CEO, or Chief Excitement Officer, of Sparks of Fire International. After spending years finding her own voice, Shā now helps leaders, veterans, and entrepreneurs reclaim theirs. She meets people where they are because she understands what it feels like to lose your voice and fight to find it again.   📝 EPISODE DETAILS In this milestone conversation, Shā and I explore what anger may be trying to reveal beneath the surface. Is anger always the real emotion, or is it sometimes the armor we place over hurt? Are we willing to become silent long enough to hear what our anger is trying to tell us? Is anger poison that slowly damages us? Is anger a mirror that reflects something unresolved inside us? Could anger become a teacher that points us toward healing, understanding, and change? Shā shares how recognizing the hurt underneath her anger helped her begin reclaiming her voice. She reminds us that transformation does not always begin with a grand announcement. Sometimes it begins with something as simple as hearing the right words, finding a pen, and writing on a napkin. The moment may appear small, but it could be the invitation that changes everything. Welcome to the Party. 📝 KEY TAKEAWAYS 🔥 Anger is often protecting a deeper hurt. 🔥 Silence can help us hear what our emotions are trying to communicate. 🔥 Anger can become poisonous when it is ignored, buried, or allowed to control us. 🔥 Anger can act as a mirror, revealing wounds that still need attention. 🔥 Anger can become a teacher when we are willing to listen and learn. 🔥 Finding your voice begins with believing your story deserves to be heard. 🔥 One small decision can become the beginning of lasting change.   📝 MEMORABLE QUOTE “Every hero needs a guide.”— Shā Sparks   📝 CONNECT WITH SHĀ SPARKS Learn more about Shā’s coaching, speaking, books, podcasts, and the work she is doing to help people reclaim their voices. 🌐 Website 📩 To book a free session with Shā, send her a direct message on Instagram. 📸 Instagram   📝 LISTEN & FOLLOW OTHER PEOPLE’S SHOES Every person has a story. Every story offers a different perspective. When we are willing to walk in Other People’s Shoes, we may discover something new about another person, ourselves, and the world around us. 👟 Website | 📘 Facebook | 📸 Instagram | 𝕏 X | 🎬 TikTok | ▶️ YouTube | 🎧 Apple Podcasts Listen, grow, and gain a different perspective on life by walking in other people’s shoes. 📝 LEAVE US A REVIEW Has Other People’s Shoes helped you see someone, or yourself, differently? Your rating and review help more people discover these conversations and remind listeners that they are not alone in what they are walking through. ⭐️ Leave Us a Review Thank you for helping us reach 400 episodes. Here’s to the next pair of shoes. 👟🩵

    Party

  7. Jul 29

    Flashlight

    ⚠️ CONTENT WARNING This episode contains candid conversations about depression, grief, suicidal ideation, and suicide. Please listen with care. This conversation reflects personal experiences and is not a substitute for professional mental health support. If you are experiencing a suicidal crisis or emotional distress in the United States or its territories, call or text 988, or visit the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.   🎙 FLASHLIGHT Season 23: The List I did a quick Google search for the best flashlight on the market. According to Ava’s review, the LiteForce Flashlight is one of the most powerful and versatile handheld lighting solutions available. Its LED produces up to 20,000 lumens, and its zoomable beam can shift between a wide floodlight and a focused spotlight. It is compact, durable, rechargeable, and designed to provide light when someone needs it most. But this episode is not really about finding the best flashlight on the market. It is about recognizing when we need one. My guest this week, Patrick Lomantini, describes himself as someone who became a great liar. He lied to other people, created different versions of himself, and deceived those around him. But before many of those lies were spoken out loud, Patrick had already started believing the lies he told himself. “I’m fine.” “I have everything under control.” “It isn’t that dark.” “It isn’t that bad.” Maybe that is what makes darkness so dangerous. We can spend so much time convincing ourselves that we can still see clearly that we fail to recognize how far out of focus our lives have become. We adjust to the darkness. We hide what we are feeling. We keep walking as though we know where we are going. Until one day, we realize we cannot find our way out alone. Sometimes the most powerful flashlight is the truth. Truth exposes what we have been hiding. It brings the lies into focus, reveals how dark things have become, and gives us enough light to ask for help and take the next step.   📝 GUEST INTRODUCTION Patrick Lomantini is the author of The First Lie I Ever Told. Patrick openly shares how lying became part of the way he survived, performed, and presented himself to the world. He became skilled at deceiving others, but the deeper problem was that he had also become skilled at deceiving himself. Over time, those lies affected his identity, relationships, decisions, and the way he viewed his own life. Patrick’s story asks an uncomfortable question: What was the first lie you ever told yourself? Maybe it was a lie about who you needed to become. Maybe it was a lie about what success would give you. Maybe it was a lie about how much pain you could carry alone. Maybe it was simply: “I’m okay.” Patrick’s journey is not only about the lies he told. It is about what happened when those lies could no longer hold his life together. This is a story about deception, grief, depression, suicidal thoughts, survival, accountability, and the difficult work of bringing a life back into focus.   📝 EPISODE DETAILS In this episode, Patrick and I discuss: ✔️ The first lie Patrick remembers telling himself ✔️ How the lies we tell others often begin with the lies we believe about ourselves ✔️ Becoming so comfortable with deception that it begins to feel normal ✔️ The different identities Patrick created and performed ✔️ The difference between appearing successful and actually being healthy ✔️ Why we minimize our pain by saying, “It isn’t that bad” ✔️ Patrick’s experiences with grief, depression, and suicidal ideation ✔️ What happens when the performance can no longer hold everything together ✔️ Taking responsibility without allowing shame to become another prison ✔️ Why telling the truth can be the first step toward healing ✔️ Recognizing when we need help ✔️ Finding enough light to take one more step Throughout Season 23, we have been exploring The List. The names of those who hurt us. The people we resent. The people we blame. The people we struggle to forgive. Patrick’s story adds another difficult layer to that conversation: What happens when our own name appears on The List? How do we face the lies we told, the people we deceived, and the damage we caused? How do we accept responsibility while learning to forgive ourselves? And how do we rebuild a life after finally admitting that it is darker than we wanted anyone to know?   📝 MEMORABLE QUOTE “What is the first lie you ever told yourself?” Every lie we tell someone else may begin with a lie we have already accepted about ourselves. We tell ourselves that we need to perform to be accepted. We tell ourselves that telling the truth will cost too much. We tell ourselves that no one will understand. We tell ourselves that we can handle the darkness alone. But lies do not lead us out of darkness. They only convince us that we do not need a flashlight. The truth may not illuminate the entire road at once. It may not immediately repair every relationship or remove every consequence. But it can give us enough light to see where we are standing. Enough light to recognize the next step. Enough light to reach for someone else’s hand. Enough light to keep going.   📝 CONNECT WITH PATRICK LOMANTINI Learn more about Patrick, his story, and his work. 🌐 Patrick Lomantini’s Website | 📖 The First Lie I Ever Told | 🔦 KYLI   📝 LISTEN & FOLLOW OTHER PEOPLE’S SHOES   You do not need a flashlight when everything is already bright. You need one when the darkness has made it difficult to see what is true, where you are standing, and which direction you should take next. Sometimes that flashlight is a friend. Sometimes it is a counselor. Sometimes it is a spouse or family member. Sometimes it is a crisis counselor answering the phone. Sometimes it begins by finally saying: “It really is that dark, and I need help.” We may not be able to remove someone else’s darkness, but we can sit beside them, listen to them, and help them find enough light to take the next step. That is what it means to walk in Other People’s Shoes. 👟 Website | 📘 Facebook | 📸 Instagram | 𝕏 X | 🎬 TikTok | 🎧 Apple Podcasts   📝 LEAVE US A REVIEW 📝 Leave a Review Did Patrick’s story challenge you to recognize a lie you have been telling yourself? Did this episode encourage you to stop minimizing the darkness and reach for help? Your rating and review help more people discover these conversations. Your words may help someone find a little light when they are struggling to see a way forward. 📝  Thank you for listening, sharing, and walking in Other People’s Shoes.

    Flashlight

  8. Jul 22

    Another Brick

    🎙 ANOTHER BRICK SEASON 23: THE LIST The third little pig built with bricks because bricks kept the wolf out. That is what walls are supposed to do. Protect us. But the same bricks that keep danger out can also keep everyone else away. In 1961, the Berlin Wall divided a city, separating friends, families, and loved ones for twenty-eight years. When it finally came down in 1989, it was dismantled one piece at a time. We build emotional walls the same way. One betrayal. One loss. One painful memory at a time. At first, the wall protects us. Eventually, it may keep love, trust, and healing from reaching us too. This week on Other People’s Shoes, Neil walks in the shoes of Ann Oickle, founder of Dynamic Living Lifestyles, for a conversation about grief, protection, and what it takes to slowly remove the bricks we have spent years putting into place. Not all at once. Just one brick at a time.   📝 GUEST INTRODUCTION Ann grew up with four brothers, but grief became part of her story before she was even born. While Ann’s mother was pregnant with her, she learned that two of her sons had a fatal illness that would eventually take their lives. Ann describes herself as a “stress baby,” carried by a mother already living with the weight of future loss. Ann was only five years old when one brother passed away. She was nine when she lost the other. Those early losses shaped how Ann understood family, safety, and connection. As more pain came through family members, coworkers, and others she trusted, Ann began building a wall around her heart. Each experience became another brick. The wall helped her feel safe. But eventually, it also kept people out.   📝 SOMETHING TO TAKE AWAY 👟 Will the painful things we experience define us, or can they refine us? 👟 Do we learn more from what we see for ourselves or from what others tell us? 👟 What can death, loss, and disappearance teach us about grief and healing? 👟 How do the threats we face shape the way we see ourselves, others, and the world around us?   📝 MEMORABLE QUOTE “Will what happened to us define us, or will it refine us?”   📝 CONNECT WITH ANN OICKLE Learn more about Ann, Dynamic Living Lifestyles, and the work she is doing to help people move from survival toward healthier, more connected lives. 📘 Facebook | 👥 Dynamic Living Community | 💼 LinkedIn   📝 LISTEN & FOLLOW OTHER PEOPLE’S SHOES Every person has a story. Every story offers a different perspective. When we are willing to walk in other people’s shoes, we may discover that the person behind the wall is not cold, distant, or uncaring. They may simply be protecting a heart that has already been hurt. 👟 Website | 📘 Facebook | 📸 Instagram | 🎬 TikTok | 🎧 Apple Podcasts   📝 LEAVE US A REVIEW Has Other People’s Shoes helped you see life from a different perspective? Your rating and review help more people discover these conversations and remind listeners that they are not alone in what they are walking through. 📝 Leave a Review

    Another Brick
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4.9
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78 Ratings

About

Other People’s Shoes is built on a simple idea: before we judge someone, we should understand what they’ve walked through. Host Neil Matthews creates space for honest conversations that challenge assumptions, grow empathy, and help us see the person behind the perspective. You may not agree with every guest, but you’ll leave with a different perspective on life.

Information

  • Creator
    Neil Matthews
  • Years Active
    2019 - 2026
  • Episodes
    405
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    ℗ & © 2026 Other People's Shoes
  • Show Website
    Other People's Shoes

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