Intentional Living with Tanya Hale Tanya Hale: Certified Life Coach

Some of the areas where we can feel the most stuck in our lives are places where we are just dabbling with change in our lives rather than digging in and doing what needs to happen to create the change we want.  And yet, dabbling is comfortable and easy and even justifiable, whereas committing to doing is scary and risky and requires some determination and courage.  When we choose to move into doing, into some dogged determination to create the change we want, we will create said change.  And once the commitment is fully made, we will even find and energy and drive behind us that will carry us through the challenges that will inevitably lie ahead.

When we're not paying close attention, we can very easily slip into critical words and behaviors in our relationships.  Often, we won't even see it, because in our minds we are being helpful or just expressing concern or our opinion, but it can still very easily be perceived as criticism.  And criticism breaks down relationship by treading on trust and respect.  When we create awareness around our critical tendencies, stop criticizing, and instead move into curiosity, we create deeper connection and intimacy.  Curiosity strengthens our relationships whereas criticism destroys our relationships.  

We live in a society that can be a little happiness obsessed at times.  And though the thought of being happy all the time can sound lovely, it's just not going to happen.  Life is meant to be messy, to be challenging, and to provide us with a lot of opportunities to figure out the tough stuff.  It can be difficult to remember this when we live in a world where discomfort is seen as a problem to be avoided rather than just part of life.  This week we are discussing how to balance out the discomfort of life and our quest for happiness.

Most of us, at one time or another, have had a story that we are not good enough.  And it can really wreak havoc in our lives.  It can cause us to feel insecure, and from that place we struggle to be the person we really want to be.  Understanding how to address our 'not good enough' thoughts is a life-changing skill that will bring a confident and beautiful approach to life.  

It is really easy for us to create dysfunctional and destructive relationships when we haven't learned how to respect and honor others' personalities, preferences, and perspectives.  These three things are at the heart of who people are, and when we reject these things, we reject them.  And when we reject them, we shut down the opportunity to create deeper friendship and intimacy.

Although I talk about the thought model and use it here on the podcast, it's been a while since I talked about the basic parts of it and how they work together.  On this podcast we will be looking at how the circumstances in our lives are neutral, how we have thoughts about those circumstances, how those thoughts create feelings, how our feelings fuel our actions, and then how our actions create the ultimate results in our lives.  When we can understand this model more clearly, we have the tools to clean up our lives and our relationships in ways we never imagined.  And it all starts with a thought. . . huh!  Who knew?!?