Finding Her Sparkle with Ami Rankin

Ami Rankin
  • 5.0 (2)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Bimonthly

Finding Her Sparkle is the podcast for overwhelmed mums ready to stop running on empty and feel like themselves again. Hosted by Ami Rankin - a mum of two, Wellbeing Coach and Emotional Intelligence specialist covering Overwhelm, Burnout, The Mental Load, Nervous System Regulation, Mum Rage, Matrescence and identity loss in Motherhood. Learn evidence-backed tools from CBT, NLP, ACT and nervous system regulation delivered like a conversation with a friend who genuinely gets it. New episodes fortnightly. Let's get your sparkle back. ✨

  1. Jul 6

    Episode 141: WHO AM I NOW SERIES ✨ I don't know who I am anymore: understanding identity shift after a big life change

    Did you know that 91% of women feel like they've lost themselves in motherhood? If you're one of them, this episode is the explanation you've been waiting for. In this first episode of the Who Am I Now? series, I introduce the concept of Matrescence — the psychological, neurological and identity transformation every woman goes through when she becomes a Mother. Just like adolescence has a name, a framework and societal understanding, so does this. We just don't talk about it enough. This episode covers: What Matrescence actually is and why society hasn't caught up with it yetWhy losing yourself in motherhood isn't a failure The truth about 'bouncing back' and why that language is keeping you stuckWhy your identity didn't disappear (and how to start getting it back)What finding yourself again actually looks like day-to-day (hint: it's easier than you think) Tools in this episode: The Feelings Wheel — how to name what you're feeling so you can start moving toward what you wantThe Before & Now Identity Map — a simple journalling exercise to see what's shifted and what's still yoursThe Morning Check-In — three questions to ask yourself daily that take less than two minutes If you've been feeling lost, overwhelmed or like you can't find your way back to yourself — you are not broken. You are in the middle of one of the biggest life transitions a human being can go through. This series is your map. Tag me on Instagram if you try the tools — I would love to hear from you! And please share with someone you know could benefit from this episode too.

  2. May 5

    😡 It's not about the housework 🤯 Why You Keep Fighting About the Same Things (And How to Actually Stop)

    You walk in the door. The bins weren't taken out, the kitchen's still a mess - within minutes you're in the same argument you've had a hundred times before. Going around in circles, both of you feeling attacked, nobody actually saying what they mean. Sound familiar? This episode is going to change how you communicate in your relationship. If you've ever wondered why you and your partner keep fighting about the same things, why you feel unheard no matter how many times you bring something up or why conversations about something small somehow always turn into something big, this is for you. The truth is, it was never about the bins or the messy kitchen. In this episode I'm walking you through how to move beyond 'story level' - the he said-she said, you did this-you didn't do that, and get to the feeling underneath. Because that's where the real conversation lives. That's where things actually change. What we cover: - Why we get stuck in the criticism-defensiveness cycle (and how to break it) - What "story level" is — and why it keeps you going in circles - Why naming the feeling underneath feels so uncomfortable (and why your brain avoids it) - The Feelings Wheel — your most important tool for understanding what you're actually feeling - Why anger is always an umbrella feeling — and what's hiding underneath it - Three questions to ask yourself before the conversation to get clear on what you actually need - How to communicate your feelings without it turning into an attack - Why your partner isn't a mind reader — and what to do about it - How having these conversations less, means connecting more This episode follows on from our episode on teaching children emotional intelligence - because you can't teach your kids something you haven't learned yourself. And so many of us were never taught this. We were told to stay strong, push through, don't make a fuss. So if having these conversations feels big and scary that's not a flaw in you, that's just what you were taught. And it's time to unlearn it. 🎙️ If this resonated, share it with a friend or a partner who needs it - that's how this podcast reaches new people and I appreciate you more than you know. Follow Finding Her Sparkle so you don't miss next week... a very exciting new series is starting and you're going to want to be there from the beginning! If you're feeling like the mental load, overwhelm or disconnection in your relationships has become too much to carry on your own, my inbox is always open. Come find me on Instagram - @ami_rankin

  3. Apr 15

    Ep 139: Burnout, Mental Load & Perimenopause: When You're the 'Stable One' for Everyone Else

    Are you the one everyone leans on right now? The stable one. The strong one. The one holding it all together, but quietly running on empty? In this episode, Ami answers 2 real listener questions that so many of you will recognise immediately: - I'm feeling overwhelmed because I feel like I'm the only stable one right now — everyone else around me is up and down. - I'm feeling overwhelmed by the mental and emotional workload of three children, while also working and in early perimenopause. If either of those made you exhale — this one's for you. Ami breaks down why being the emotional anchor for the people around you leads directly to burnout and functional freeze, what happens to your nervous system when the mental load, emotional load and invisible labour never stop and why perimenopause and hormonal changes mean your window of tolerance is already reduced before the day has even begun - and why that is not a character flaw. You'll also get real, practical tools you can use today: the one question to ask yourself when you're carrying too much, the 100/75/50% framework for lowering your baseline expectations without dropping the ball and simple ways to reduce decision fatigue and schedule downtime that actually recharges you. This is compassionate and practical. A reminder that you cannot pour from an empty cup. If this resonated, share it with a friend who needs to hear it. And if you have a question you'd love answered on the podcast, send Ami a DM or look out for the question box on Instagram @ami_rankin

  4. Apr 8

    Ep 138: How To Teach Your Kids Emotional Intelligence: The Only 2 Scripts You Need

    Nobody taught us how to talk about our feelings. And now we're raising tiny humans who feel ALL the things — and have zero ability to explain why. In this episode, I'm sharing exactly how I've been teaching my kids (ages 5 and 3) emotional intelligence from the ground up — and the surprising feedback I got from Ollie's teacher and paediatrician about just how far it's come. You don't need to be a coach to do this. You need two scripts and a feelings wheel. In this episode: - Why your child's tantrum over a wrongly-cut sandwich is actually about something deeper - The #1 tool I recommend before you do anything else (and it's free — just Google it) - How to name what your child is feeling without shaming them for it - The two scripts every parent needs: one for emotional awareness, one for boundaries - Why teaching your kids this stuff ends up teaching you too - What re-regulation actually looks like (and why "calm down" isn't always the goal) If you loved this episode, share it with a mum who needs it. And if you're feeling overwhelmed, lost in the mental load and like you've lost your sparkle, my inbox is always open. To access our free tools at BU Happiness College, click the link below: msha.ke/amirankin Please remember to subscribe and share the show to help more women get their sparkle back! ✨

  5. Mar 9

    Ep 137: You’re not lazy - your nervous system is overloaded and you’re overstimulated

    If you’ve been calling yourself lazy, unmotivated, or undisciplined lately, this episode is your reminder that you’re probably not lazy at all - your nervous system is overloaded, you’re overstimulated and are running on survival mode. We will break down the difference between laziness and burnout, explain what happens in the brain when you’re under chronic stress and explore how overstimulation can lead to functional freeze, procrastination, brain fog, emotional reactivity and feeling stuck even when you care deeply about what needs to get done. You’ll learn: the difference between laziness and nervous system overload why chronic stress affects motivation, focus and emotional regulation how fight, flight and freeze show up in busy mums and overwhelmed women why overstimulation leads to shutdown and procrastination 2 quick nervous system regulation tools you can use in under a minute how to stop the negative self-talk and support your body with more compassion This episode is for busy mums, overstimulated women, default parents and anyone feeling burnt out, mentally overloaded, emotionally drained or stuck in survival mode. If you’ve been struggling with burnout, overwhelm, procrastination or feeling like your nervous system is always “on,” this episode will help you feel seen, understood, and supported.

  6. Feb 11

    Ep 136: Default Parent Burnout: Understanding Functional Freeze 🤯 Why you feel numb as the Default Parent and how to get unstuck

    If you’re the default parent and feel stuck, exhausted, numb or overwhelmed - this episode is for you. In this episode we explore what functional freeze really is, how it shows up in motherhood and why so many mums fall into this state when they carry the mental and emotional load of being the default parent. You’ll learn: What the default parent role is and how you got here What functional freeze looks like in real life How chronic stress impacts your nervous system Signs you may be stuck in functional freeze Gentle, achievable ways to begin moving out of freeze without adding more to your plate This episode is a compassionate, practical guide for overwhelmed mums who feel like they’re doing everything but still feel stuck. You’re not broken - your nervous system is overwhelmed. Recommendations: Getting a hobby! (I'm loving embroidery kits from Kmart)Do You F***ing Mind Podcast episode 429 on Functional FreezeInsight Timer app (free version is fine) for EFT tapping and breathwork to regulate your Nervous System To access our free tools at BU Happiness College, click the link below. Please remember to subscribe and share the show to help more women get their sparkle back! ✨ msha.ke/amirankin

  7. 12/16/2025

    Ep 135: 🤯 Busy Season Survival Guide 🫠 How to actually regulate your Nervous System

    If you're feeling busy, overwhelmed, burnt out or constantly on edge this episode is for you. I break down what actually happens in your nervous system during busy seasons of life and why feeling stressed, scattered or exhausted doesn’t mean you’re failing. You’ll learn about the three states we move through as humans: suffering, surviving and thriving - how to recognise which one you’re in and why it’s unrealistic (and unhelpful) to expect yourself to be thriving all the time. We dive into: - Why modern life keeps us stuck in survival mode - The stress cycle and why it needs to be completed - Simple nervous system regulation tools and somatic practices you can actually fit into a busy day - How to move away from burnout without adding more to your to‑do list - How to meet yourself at 50%, 75% or 100% — without all‑or‑nothing thinking This episode is packed with practical mindset shifts, nervous system education and gentle tools to help you calm your mind, regulate your body and feel more grounded - even when life feels chaotic. If you’re feeling overstimulated, emotionally drained, mentally overloaded or like you’re running on empty, this episode will help you slow down, check in with yourself and start recharging your battery - one small step at a time. Book recommendation: The Vegas Nerve Reset by Anna Ferguson

  8. 11/03/2025

    Ep 134: Q&A - Help! How do I not fall apart myself when my kids are having a tantrum?

    In this episode I discusses the challenges of parenting, particularly when trying to manage childrens' big emotions! We talk about the importance of emotional intelligence both for parents and children and I share practical tools and resources to help navigate the difficult moments. The main topic points are: Emotional intelligence is important for parents AND childrenTantrums are often a reflection of underlying feelings, not just bad behaviour.Understanding child developmental stages can help to meet your child where they are atRecognising your own feelings is the first step to managing them.It's normal to feel overwhelmed as a parent - seeking help is okay! To access our free tools click the link below. Please remember to subscribe and share the show to help more women get their sparkle back! msha.ke/amirankin

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Finding Her Sparkle is the podcast for overwhelmed mums ready to stop running on empty and feel like themselves again. Hosted by Ami Rankin - a mum of two, Wellbeing Coach and Emotional Intelligence specialist covering Overwhelm, Burnout, The Mental Load, Nervous System Regulation, Mum Rage, Matrescence and identity loss in Motherhood. Learn evidence-backed tools from CBT, NLP, ACT and nervous system regulation delivered like a conversation with a friend who genuinely gets it. New episodes fortnightly. Let's get your sparkle back. ✨

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