Foster Family Matters

CK Family Services

Don't worry, we are professionals. Ryan, Lori, Jailynn, and Shawn talk about parenting children in these complex modern times. Topics will vary and through it all, you'll be informed, restored, empowered, and entertained.

  1. 12/19/2019

    Interdependence: Part 4 of the Four Tenets of Health Relationships

    Interdependence: Part 4 of the Four Tenets of Healthy Relationships Welcome to Foster Family Matters Thank you for joining us! Welcome to another episode of Foster Family Matters with your hosts Shawn Wilson, Ryan North, and Lori Fangue, LPC. If you don’t already know, we are a foster care, adoption, and behavior health non-profit in North Texas. What Are We Chatting About Today? Today’s episode is part 4 of our 5-part series, The Four Tenets of Health Relationships.   There are four tenants; giving nurture, receiving nurture, negotiating wants and needs and being interdependent. We will dive into each of these during our discussions. In this episode, we are looking at the important role that interdependence plays in the context of healthy relationships. A Little Background Jude Cassidy did some research and formulated a theory that there are four things that a secure relationship in order to be healthy and positive. Today we are specifically talking about the importance of interdependence in the context of healthy relationships. In This Episode What interdependence means Losing your identity as a parent Making relationships a priority Quality vs quantity relationships Relationships need two people Raising an independent member of society Interdependent does not mean independence. Interdependence is the notion that you must be dependent on someone in order to gain a sense of independence. In order to get to a certain level of independence, we will have to rely on others and allow others to help us. It’s common to take on whatever we spend most of our time doing. We aren’t just a spouse, a parent or our job. Part of your identity is made up of different things. Not one of those things is the totality of your identity. What is your identity? You must honor who you are to be present for others. Do you feel comfortable doing things by yourself? Do you end one intimate relationship and jump to the next one without taking time for reflection and self-care? Do you need someone else to make you feel worthy? If so, it may be time to evaluate your independence. Interdependence is the healthy version of independence. We were made to take care of each other and be in relationship with others. There’s a line between independence and isolation. We weren’t created for isolation. Connect With Our Hosts The Show Website:  www.fosterfamilymatters.org The Show Facebook Group:  www.facebook.com/groups/fosterfamilymatters Subscribe If you found value in today’s episode, remember to subscribe to the show (so you’ll be notified when we post new content) and share the link with your friends to spread the love. Thank you for listening!

  2. 11/05/2019

    National Adoption Month: A Conversation with Lauren Hudgeons

    Welcome to Foster Family Matters Thank you for joining us! Welcome to another episode of Foster Family Matters with your hosts Shawn Wilson, Ryan North, and Lori Fangue. If you don’t already know, we are a foster care, adoption, and behavior health non-profit in North Texas. What Are We Chatting About Today? Today we have a special guest with us. Her name is Lauren Hudgeons. She is a foster and adoptive parent as well as an attorney. Lauren works with kids in the state’s conservatorship. She will be answering various questions that many foster parents have.   Lauren has a passion for supporting other parents going through this. 90 percent of what she does is represent children. On the other side, she has been a foster to adoptive mom twice. She has a wide perspective that encompasses both sides of the process. All Things Social Media We are currently focused on social media and trying to grow the show. We are extremely grateful and excited about the success we’ve seen so far. We’ve also started posting video versions of the show on Facebook and YouTube as well as highlights on Instagram TV. Make sure to check those out! If you aren’t already a member, you can also join our Facebook group called Foster Family Matters to find community with likeminded parents. The group is really about relationships in a familial setting and connecting with people who have similar interests in improving relationships. In This Episode Guardian ad litem vs attorney ad litem The legal system moves at its own pace Permanency hearings Primary and secondary goals How Lori got into law and fostering Investing and committing to a child Requirements for termination and best interest of the child What intervention is PMC and what it is Contacting an adoption attorney and when to do so Cost of a CPS adoption   With adoption, you will have various individuals involved in the process, including an agency worker, attorney ad litem, etc. Many people don’t know who shows up when. During this episode, we will cover the different people who will be involved in the process of adoption and when to expect to interact with them. For example, you can expect to see Casa typically each month. The legal process can be somewhere between intimidating and frustrating. That can stem from a lack of understanding of how things happen. Expectations of how things should happen can cause frustration. Part of the reason the process takes so long is the statutory guidelines. During the process, there are primary and secondary goals. These can change at any point in the process depending on the circumstances. Another topic of conversation is intervention. An intervention is where the foster parent hires an attorney and becomes a legal party to the suit. When adopting, it’s important to remember no two cases are the same. There are so many components and moving pieces as well as people. It’s important to solidify realistic expectations. You can’t compare and contrast your situation to anyone else because that can be really unhealthy. The game is the same, but the players are different. Each team is different. Each case is different. Learn more about the process of adoption, things to be aware of, how Lauren helps clients and so much more during this episode of Foster Family Matters. Final Thoughts If you are available to adopt in November, contact Lauren! Connect FFM Website:  www.fosterfamilymatters.org  FFM Facebook Page:  www.facebook.com/groups/fosterfamilymatters FFM YouTube Playlist:  https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-oi9c-AikwduSh2O6dYeTzgC3LbpibTh FFM Facebook Playlist:  https://www.facebook.com/CKFamServices/playlist/366303627602461   Lauren Hudgeons Website:  www.hudgeonslawfirm.net Subscribe! If you liked this episode remember to subscribe so you’ll be the first to know when we upload new content.  Also, we appreciate your positive feedback in the form of reviews and comments.  Finally, if you have the option, remember to tap the “heart”, “thumbs up”, and share icons on your listening platform to help them understand you like what we are doing.   Thanks for listening!

  3. 10/24/2019

    Part 2: Four Tenets of Healthy Relationships

    Welcome to Foster Family Matters Thank you for joining us! Welcome to another episode of Foster Family Matters with your hosts Shawn Wilson, Ryan North, and Lori Fangue. If you don’t already know, we are a foster care, adoption, and behavior health non-profit in North Texas. What Are We Chatting About Today? Today’s episode is a continuation of one we started last time talking about relationships. Specifically, we will be looking at indicators of healthy relationships. What truly makes a healthy relationship? There are four tenants; giving nurture, receiving nurture, negotiating wants and needs and being interdependent. We will dive into each of these during this series. All Things Social Media We are currently focused on social media and trying to grow the show. We are extremely grateful and excited about the success we’ve seen so far. We’ve also started posting video versions of the show on Facebook and YouTube as well as highlights on Instagram TV. Make sure to check those out! If you aren’t already a member, you can also join our Facebook group called Foster Family Matters to find a community with like-minded parents. The group is really about relationships in a familial setting and connecting with people who have similar interests in improving relationships. You can find a video recording of this discussion on YouTube or Facebook!  Remember to subscribe and turn on notifications so you will get a friendly reminder when we upload new content. A Little Background Jude Cassidy did some research and formulated a theory that there are four things that a secure relationship in order to be healthy and positive. Today we are specifically talking about the ability to give nurture and care. In This Episode The ability to give nurture and care What is compassion Empathy vs sympathy Putting the work in to empathize Expressions of love and care Context matters Coaching giving care The footprints to empathy Driving positive changes   We are wanting to broaden your perspective of what it means to be nurtured. There is a level of subjectivity to that word. How we define that world will relate to how we show care and nurture to others. All of us feel nurtured in different ways.   A relationship requires at least two people. We can initially appear to be super compassionate. If all you have is sympathy, you’ll never get there. What you really need is empathy. Sympathy is just a starting point while empathy is a required component of compassion.   Compassionate parenting is so much more than feeling sorry. It’s a growth process to get there. You don’t just wake up in healthy relationships, because healthy relationships take work. Most people don’t empathize easily. It has to be practiced regularly to be able to step outside ourselves and into someone else’s shoes. When there is self-centeredness, there is no way to truly embody empathy.   We tend to go back to the way we were taught to love and care. Love and care can look differently for different people. It’s important to understand how you like to help vs what help is actually needed. Sometimes you have to coach people on how to care for someone else. For example, you can have your kids put band-aids on each other.   It’s also important to be aware of your reason for giving nurture and care. Help is always welcome. It’s great to help in any compacity. Yet, sometimes we help more for ourselves rather than for those who need help. This is just something to be aware of.   Sometimes it’s easy to assume we are great caregivers, even if maybe we aren’t. Find people you are doing life with to speak truth to you. They can provide insight into how you provide nurture and care.   Adults have to drive change in our homes. Parents drive positive change. Kids can learn things or they can catch things. It’s taught or it’s caught. What do you want your kids being taught?   Side note, don’t get discouraged and don’t give up on giving-care if the person you trying to give care to is not good at receiving care. We will be talking about that in our next episode. Next time we will be talking all about receiving care and how to best receive care. Final Thoughts If you think about these things, it makes perfect sense. If someone matters to you, you should want what’s best for them. If these things aren’t evident in your relationships, it’s a good opportunity to reflect and figure out why that is. Don’t be disillusioned by the simplicity of these concepts. Reflecting on these can be very helpful. Connect Facebook Group:  Foster Family Matters Show Website:  www.fosterfamilymatters.org  Subscribe! Don’t forget to subscribe, like, thumbs up, heart us. We love the "Hearts", especially in the name of love.

Ratings & Reviews

4.9
out of 5
11 Ratings

About

Don't worry, we are professionals. Ryan, Lori, Jailynn, and Shawn talk about parenting children in these complex modern times. Topics will vary and through it all, you'll be informed, restored, empowered, and entertained.