moneymotivationandmotherhood's podcast

Marion Syversen

What do you do if talk of stocks and bonds aren't your think, but you want to know more about money? Who can you ask when you are feeling down about life? How can you encourage the family when you feel pressure? Optimist and encourager, Marion Syversen, will cheer you up and fill your heart with hope in this introduction to her new podcast. Marion owns Norumbega Financial, is an independent financial advisor, the wife of one man, the mother of two sons, and the nana of nine grandchildren. What if relatives want to borrow money? How much stuff do kids really need? How can we meet the deep needs we have without spending all our money? I want you to see how beautiful you are, how capable is your brain and that improvement doesn't have to hurt. Look for the Money, Motivation & Motherhood Facebook group and join in the conversation. https://www.facebook.com/moneymotivationandmotherhood/ Connect with Marion: Twitter https://twitter.com/home Website http://www.norumbegafinancial.com/

Episodes

  1. 02/06/2020

    Gratitude & Peer Pressure

    Podcast – Episode #4   Gratitude & Peer Pressure   Gratitude is a good practice to have any time of year, all year, or around the holidays. The practice of gratitude is the mindful focus on the people, situations and things for which you are grateful. It sounds easy and too simple to be helpful. But being grateful changes our brains. Studies on happiness have found that a key to joy is gratitude. You'd think with all the years of research (for instance that something as simple as smiling – even without emotion, by holding a pencil between your teeth) people would do what they could to live in as much joy as they could. It's FREE, it's EASY and it changes your outlook and can lift up the hearts of those around you. And yet, though we may be thankful for a few days, or weeks, we tend to quickly fall back into our grouchy habits of jealousy and discontent.   You may look around and think, 'life is pretty chaotic here. The kids are noisy, money is a struggle, my spouse and I are tired, and the work piles up.'   Yeah, but what if you said, 'I'm married to the person I prayed for, a man who loves me, and does all he can to take care of us.' Or, 'I always wanted kids. I dreamed of being a mom. And now I get to live this life.' Or, 'we are making progress in money and so many parts of life. And look at all the blessings that we enjoy!'   Part of our discontent is wound up in a discontent caused by our own hearts. And studies have also found that peer pressure can play a role. You're shopping with friends, and feeling out of your element. But you want to fit in, so you spend money when you had kind of decided that self-control was your new middle name. Or you are simply envious of your neighbor's new car and vacations and put yourself in financial jeopardy spending money unwisely.   Giving into to these darker impulses only give us a kind of pleasure for a short time, before we are overcome with remorse and maybe are even embarrassed. Gratitude is the victor over jealousy and peer-pressure. Knowing you have everything you NEED, that you are blessed with breath and that there is beauty in the nature around you. Kissing your kids who are safe in their beds at night gives a lasting peace and joy that few other things can match. For many people, a Gratitude JOURNAL is a great way to see all the good things that float in your life every day. What works for me is a blessing Jar. I write down all the kindnesses that come to me that made a situation more wonderful. Friends that go beyond the extra mile. A gift won in a contest. Health in a situation. A joyful event. On New Year's EVE we open the jar and reflect on all the good things God has sent into our lives over the past year. When you begin focusing on the good things that FILL your days, you will see even more of them. When you practice gratitude it's much easier to be content.  Makes sense. That contentment gives you a sense of confidence that makes you stronger in a variety of situations. Now you can choose YOUR plan for your future, instead of perhaps spending money that you don't have to meet other's expectations. Where to YOU want to be in your life? Are you willing to sell your future just to keep up with others? Do you want the peace that comes from knowing your life isn't perfect, but it's awesome and getting better every day? Use peer pressure and a good group of friends to help you STAY on track. Not because you show them your checking account balance and they monitor your spending. But folks who have similar goals and priorities as you when it comes to what they find important in life. Folks with similar values will be less likely to pressure you into things that aren't in your best interest. But ultimately, you and your family are the BEST JUDGE of what's good for you. It's easy to be grateful for new stuff. It's BETTER to build your gratitude based on things OUTSIDE of stuff. Practice gratitude for PEOPLE in your life.  One happiness author wrote that you could SPREAD gratitude by writing a happiness letter. An actual letter thanking a person for all they mean to you and the life change their presence has had in your life.   Positive attitudes in a negative world can be easily lost. So you need to guard your heart and mind to keep on the gratitude journey and not go back to the land of jealousy and discontent. You know yourself. Limit exposure to things that derail you. Don't bad mouth yourself for 'weakness' thinking you 'should be able to withstand the negative pressure. That's just crazy. Why put yourself in that position? Just don't and keep your joy.  Don't sabotage yourself and others with foolish chatter that gossips or envies.  SAY good things, positive and uplifting things to friends and family, even strangers. Compliment people. DO things that HELP others. Living and giving of yourself is the natural way to lift up your own heart and fill it to overflowing with joy and gratitude. There was a movement around my circle a few years ago where you wore an elastic around your wrist, and when you complained, you would snap the elastic and change wrists.  The goal was to STOP COMPLAINING. For some that is TOO big a goal. Then stop complaining for a DAY. Gratitude. It's just human nature to want more, be discontent. But you are really okay. And if you are NOT okay, get help. But most of us are REALLY okay. We're aren't just okay, we're good. Maybe even great. So you don't have to spend more; you don't need to fix it; you don't need as much as you sometimes act driven to get. Practice gratitude and in doing so take control of your heart and your brain.

    Gratitude & Peer Pressure
  2. 02/06/2020

    Medals

    Podcast #3  - Medals   I recently ran four races in three days and received participation medals for them all. The days were spent with friends, but the focus was on the racing. Or running, since many of us weren't going fast enough to WIN. My brain sees so many bits to share from that experience.   I have never been a big athlete. My preferred way to relax is sitting in my garden, puttering a bit there, but usually reading a book – and snacking. I like to sit by our cozy fire and read in the winter months. And snack. And though I have almost always set aside time to do 20-30 minutes of some aerobic activity 3-4 times a week, that level of activity didn't cut the mustard as my snacking continued and my metabolism slowed.  So a month before my 59th birthday, in frustration and not really wanting to RUN, so much as wanting to change my body in an efficient time, I started the Couch to 5k program. Abbreviated as c25k I was invited to join a group of friends who were also frustrated at their weight and health, to meet them at 'the track.' SO unfamiliar with sports at all I had NO idea where or what was the track. Apparently, you don't have to be of superior ability to start this sport. For those unfamiliar the program – which is free- works by prompting you to run a minute or two, and more as you progress, and to walk some time. Years ago a fitness instructor, and friend, had told me 'anyone can run IF they RUN SLOWLY ENOUGH.' So if you don't sprint like a 2 year-old trying to get away from mom, and slow down the pace to what may feel ridiculously slow- you CAN RUN for a very long distance. As you do this running, and the support things with it, some strength work of hips, core and glutes, you will likely get faster. But, like the race I first talked about, it was also the people. The people who encouraged one another, who laughed with you, who you prayed for when they had a hard situation and who you looked forward to seeing again. Since that first beginning, I've kept running- even though I don't love it. I don't hate it anymore, so that's a step in the right direction. I am God's girl. I try to do many of the things science and common sense says leads to a healthy life. BECAUSE He has a job for me and I want to be a vessel that He can use. So I try to do what I know to do. Most of the time. Unless there's a block of cheese nearby. Or chips. I do love chips… There's a lot of things YOU can do to be healthy and it doesn't have to be running. I'm just generally a slug and running makes me have an APPOINTMENT to MOVE. Walking, cycling, boxing, hiking, karate, rowing, skiing, climbing, so many opportunities to be FIT. Not guilt. But also not excuses.   Today, take one step closer to doing what you KNOW TO DO to get your fitness on track.   Finances The next thing these medals and this weekend of running made me reflect on is finances. Finances? Yes, because it's my job and a passion of mine to figure out finances for folks. The races made me think about WINNING at money. So many folks are adamant, speaking in loud and insistent voices about finances and how it should be done. Of COURSE, there are principles.  'Live your wage,' is a good principle.  Sometimes we've already messed up – and maybe badly- before we really hear that idea, and we can't figure out how to run the finances race except as the last runner, way in the back, followed by the sweep car that tracks the last runner. There is no one who hasn't erred in money. Perhaps they've spent more than they earned and the debt feels like guilt. Or maybe not guilt, but not excellence. Perhaps they've gotten bills under control and they aren't tithing. Tithing is the practice of giving back to God a tenth of all He has given you. I know a lot of people, who in getting their 'spending under control' and accumulating an emergency account, stopped tithing, and have never begun it again. Maybe spending on the kids is where you mess up, or some other area that you kind of know isn't wise. You may argue about it with your spouse, and yet you persist. But maybe you feel like you have always done this well. You are generous, you are careful, you have no fear or quirk that produces a bit of lunacy, and you feel on a good plan. I would argue that everyone makes mistakes, so be humble if you feel like you are perfect in this. All of us are on a journey, hopefully running the race in such a way as to win the prize. Wherever YOU are on this journey, make one step forward in your goals TODAY. No guilt. No excuses. Do the thing you KNOW you ought to do to move this forward.   People The last thing the races and my wonderful medals and that whole weekend was about the people. The most important thing is that we love God and love people. When you find your peeps, the folks that cheer you on, and love you enough to not just say yes all the time. But love you enough – and know you well enough to correct and help you grow, those are the people that you need to keep close. The thing I see so often is that we let our tendencies drive how we do people. I'm a borderline introvert/extrovert. I need time alone to rejuvenate. Too much with people drains me. BUT I could very easily become a hermit and just stay in my own small world, ignoring the community, to which we are all called to love and serve.   People are God's hands and feet. We are the ones who are going to be used to be answers to your prayers. We deliver answers, casseroles, hugs, love, laughter, babysitting. WE are the ones who surround you and help fill your heart when crisis come. In the celebrations we CHEER for you. In the darkness we sit with you. You fill a place in our lives NO ONE ELSE WILL EVER FILL. There is only ONE YOU. Made for us. Your gifts and talents for this community. Your adorable sense of humor for our people. Your insight needed to grow God's kingdom. I don't know how it all works together when we feel like we are a raindrop in an ocean. But I believe God and he says all this. So those medals represent Sarah, and Therese, Melissa and Jocelyn, Kathryn and Bill, Trish and Nikki, and so many others, who are full of spit and vinegar. Who are sweet as sugar and tough as nails. People who love the best they can and who are always trying to move further in their journey. People who are my friends.      For all those races in a few short days, there was a training plan. I started barley able but slowly increased my capability to run the distances and stay healthy. Like my finances. A plan. A strategy and putting it into action a little at a time. Consistency grows as we overcome obstacles. Confidence grows as you ride out storms. With people it's also taking a risk, putting yourself out there, opening your heart- wisely- to possible rejection. Loss happens. Things don't go smoothly. There are stones in the path and leaves atop them that hides the possible pitfalls. Things happen that are OUR doing, or others, or things that are unexpected. Life is getting back to the plan and pressing on, time after time and time.     I am not likely going to win the race in running. UNLESS no one shows up in my age group. I won't be the richest person in America, or my state, or my town.  But I'm going to be the best I can be, within my interest in pushing myself. I'm going to have expectations about being tough and strong, and disciplined and focused. I will also leave room for short attention spans and eating too many chips. I will determined with myself and forgiving. I will say things that reflect who I am in Christ and not the lies I may hear from the past. One step forward. In fitness. In finances. Loving people.

    Medals
  3. 02/05/2020

    A Man is Not a Financial Plan

    Episode 6 – A Man Is Not a Financial Plan – and why men should care   Years ago I came upon an awesome bumper stick put out by the Women's Institute of Financial Education, or WIFE. (You can find them at www.WIFE.ORG  ) And they have a free bumper sticker that reads, 'A Man is Not a Financial Plan.' This is not meant as a slight towards your partner. It is instead a wake-up call for women to take some control of money and finance. Let's face it, it's not just you who may not have this high on your list of priorities, this financial stuff. But ignorance isn't a good place to be, either. I was waiting for an appointment at my doctor's office and picked up the People magazine where I read about a famous and seemingly strong woman news anchor. She and her husband were getting a divorce. She had been making millions of dollars every year as a woman at the top of her field, and assumed they were financially awesome. Well, she assumed wrong. In fact, she had very little left. The court documents alleged "…that Cohen, 59, had spun "a Byzantine web" of investments and refused to disclose specifics, Zahn's attorneys say that she is now "readying to assume responsibility for her own financial security." *   Looking from the outside, we probably wouldn't have guessed that this was what was happening. That this strong and capable women was not really keeping track of her finances. But there's another reason to know what's going on than because of the unlikely possibility of mismanagement. Men don't want to do the financial management alone. Their biology doesn't make them financial advisors or wealth managers, and your input matters a great deal. I've spoken with couples and the husband is often very interested in having a partner to help figure things out.  Probably neither of you have gone to school for this or necessarily feel like experts in the field. So both of you, working together, make a more balanced pair than one carrying all the weight. Look, I understand the division of roles. We do that here, too. Neither of us are great at every task needed to run a family – though we do both cook and bake pretty well. We even separate the financial jobs for the household. But we discuss what's happening in every aspect of our finances. We both are very aware of bank balances, of spending plans, of investments, etc. And you should be, too. Aware. Informed. Taking part. Being a voice. You don't have to know how compound interest works to have the common sense needed to make a financial map for your family. You have a good brain. You know baloney when you see it.  And you bring a different perspective that is what makes you two so good together. And if you are doing things by yourself for your family, get yourself to a financial institution or to a knowledgeable friend who can be your coach or financial bud, to help you stay balanced in your own plan. We are all quirky and have fears and tendencies.  If you're married, we have a built-in person to balance out your wonkiness. If you aren't married, grab a bud with whom you feel safe, and have lunch together occasionally to keep the quirks in line with reasonableness. Whatever you do, don't think you're off the hook for having a basic idea of what's going on with your money. You don't have to be an expert in every aspect of this. But you do have to take responsibility for your grownup self and be involved. Love yourself enough to take a role in this. Honor your relationship enough to stand together and carry your weight. * https://people.com/archive/unhappy-ending-vol-68-no-11/

    A Man is Not a Financial Plan
  4. 02/05/2020

    Having a Plan

    Episode 5   Having a Plan   I'm a planner. My brain just works much better when I have an agenda, some direction as to what happens next. When the kids were young we would have Family Night. We'd play games, of which I am not a fan. Read a bit of a Bible story, have snacks, maybe watch a movie. Mort would read the comics to the boys before they went to sleep. But whatever we were doing, I also had an agenda. This perplexed my dear husband, who thought letting things just happen as they went along would be an awesome approach. But I wanted to make sure that the various aspects of the evening were cozy. So I had an agenda. I didn't pass it around like a business meeting. But planning is how my brain works. At this time of year, with the changing seasons, school starting, holidays here before you know it, family and friends visiting, celebrations, presents to buy, planning can be beneficial. You may not plan like I plan. But I tend to plan for the season. So May through September, when we have our short, but monthly, tent-camping vacations, I have the calendar all mapped out in February. I do that because the State Park reservations open in early February. So BEFORE that, I look at the calendar, get a feel for holidays, weddings, known events around which we work our own plans, and I then bring a printout of five months, and the list of potential camping places, to Mort. We get cozy in bed or over an adult beverage, and figure out where we think we'd like to go and when. In February I block out the calendar so that I'm certain to be free for vacation. For the last quarter of the year, I do similar things. But I don't try to put too many activities into the months. Instead I am looking for spaces of rest and quiet that I can put into the schedule. What is important to you for this upcoming season? What are the things that threaten to crowd out rest, and where are the places in these coming months where more money than usual will be spent?   Planning Finances Figuring out the budget for all the activities and celebrations and activities is the next part of planning.  Very few people have an unlimited budget for all the things we could fit into our days. But if we are keeping our eye on what we value, what's really important to us, to you, how much money do we really need for those important things? Visiting family is awesome, but if the money isn't in the budget, if getting into debt is the only way to make this happen, is that really in everyone's best interest? Maybe to you the debt is worth it. I would think long and hard about your family's priorities. Money and emotions are so tightly interwoven that it is nearly impossible to really talk about one without the other. When we dig in our heels on something, try to examine the thinking, the feeling, the emotions, behind the insistence. Whose heart are we trying to salve with this spending? Determined that our own childhood hurts won't ever happen to our kids? Feeling guilty because of a moody and possibly manipulative family member? Trying to please someone who only feels loved based on the amount you spend on their behalf? As you plan for times of quiet, for times of busyness, for times of laughter and room for fun, look yourself squarely in the eye and examine the whys behind your desires. Talk to yourself and be practical- and loving. Think through what is up in your head, and heart, and make peace with how things are TODAY. Don't relive times past. Be free of chains that drag you down. Be prudent, loving and fair to your spouse and kids, and not driven without thinking by possible unexamined emotion. You know what I'm saying.   Discuss the overall plans with your immediate family, spouse first. Get general consensus as they work through their expectations for what lies ahead. Give time for folks to work things out in their own minds. Not all of us arrive at things the same way. Some make snap decisions, and others of us need time to mull things over. Before things get hectic, talk things over and make general plans. And most of all, remember that you love each other and are working towards the same goals. You love each other. Remember.

    Having a Plan
  5. 12/23/2019 ·  Bonus

    Christmas Special

    Memories This Christmas will not be the same as any Christmas before. This year is different. It's full of people. Or, it's just you. It's overflowing with craziness and crowds of noisy folks gathered. Or, it's the peace of a quiet time with just your favorite person. But it's somehow different than Christmases past. It may be missing someone dearly loved who waits for us in Heaven. Or, we are separated by distance, or even separated by hurt. Today, this Christmas, we bring these memories into our present. We're going to put aside the pain to rejoice in the celebration of the day. We're not forgetting it. But Christmas isn't about any of that, really. It's about an Amazing and wonderful gift given to us as a sacrifice of Love and devotion; a sacrifice GLADLY given, to take away OUR separation from our Eternal and Awesome God and Daddy. He couldn't bear what sin had done to rip us apart and He gave all He had to make us together forever. He knows your pain, because he has lived the separation and death. He has joyously welcomed your loved ones to His heart and made a home for them with Him. He collects your every tear. But, darling girl, He also knows your JOYS! The peace you feel when everyone is together, the happiness when you see the faces of people you love grateful for the thoughtful love you've shown. Though our past is beyond us, in our present we can give the very best gift to our dear Father by giving him the gift of our joy and gladness, our happy face when we see his daily and beautiful gifts to us, and his constant and thoughtful mercies always given. As you remember all the good things graciously given you, Make your present and wholehearted gift of gratitude to the Daddy who loves you more than you have ever loved anyone. The Father who has spent years preparing the good gifts he pours out on you and those you love. On this Christmas, remember the God who saves. Connect with me: Facebook Twitter Website

    Christmas Special
  6. 12/11/2019

    A Little Whine

    Every day is a blessing that you get to live. A Great and amazing adventure, filled with thrills and chills. You are really so blessed to be where you are, with so many folks who love your face. You have ALL THE THINGS. You have transportation and don't have to walk miles in 'shoes' made of plastic bottles. You have shelter, a place you can make cozy, and not a cardboard shack that floods and washes away your few belongings. Speaking of belongings, some of us have SO many things that we have a storage unit to hold our extra stuff. That's prosperity. But….but… But these daily blessings don't ever seem like enough. And we demonstrate that with our little whines. We would never make a giant production about how shortchanged we feel in life 15 year-old us had EXPECTATIONS. 35 year-old us had dreams, man, and look at things now! It isn't going as planned and that brings out our little whine. I'm not discounting the realignment of our dreams and expectations with our real-life LIFE. I'm not suggesting that adjusting our thinking isn't a thing. But adjusting our thinking should not involve whining over what we 'should' have had. So, life is a blessing. But it's also filled with bad things, with HARD things. Disappointment and pain meanders through it like a stream through your town's center. And like a stream, it sometimes overflows its banks, washing away bits of life, and forever changing direction. So yeah, life is a blessing, but. What are we going to DO about this dilemma, this dichotomy of the breath of life and the disappointment? In adjusting to a new reality, the transition can be sloppy. With kids it often results in a loud and long-lasting whine that curdles our blood. As adults, are we that different? We had expectations, had our hearts set on some event or thing. We saved for years for a goal, only to have things out of our control turn life upside down. We mourn, of course we mourn. But do we really all the rest? The self-pity? The drama? The whining? Because most of the time, the events that trigger our whining are little, unimportant things. The daily annoyances and disappointments and we are feeling sorry for ourselves, forgetting all the blessings that we have every day, all around us. Living a life of whining means nothing Is ever enough – for long. It's a sour life, a miserly life- I mean how can you be generous when you are certain life is ripping you off? Is THAT part of the dream you had of your future? A dour face, a whining pout, arms crossed over yourself as you feel robbed? Imagine what this looks like to your Heavenly dad. How would YOU feel if you had a child like this…? This grouchy attitude doesn't bring joy to your life, OR to the lives of those around you. Whining brings down every mood. If you are leader, in your home, in your workplace, in your community, you are sharing this germ with others. You aren't SOLVING anything. You are bringing a sadness to those you touch. You don't want to have a disappointing situation spiral down into crazy darkness. You can change this with a nap, with some music, with a walk, with a chat with a trusted friend – who may kick your can in love. Because life is a blessing. Your job, your street, your closet of clothes, your 'fridge full of food, the sky full of stars. All of this, so beautiful, so good. And all yours. Let your heart be glad, little bird. Let your voice be light. Let your joy be contagious.  Let the whining cease. Facebook https://www.facebook.com/moneymotivationandmotherhood/?eid=ARDs6xVicn-ZuflZVtqDtNUnWpDo7CrDfycEw3W_AVIXlXeUprWf2_N-6McGQTbabrpG-yvKbv9dbHI1 Twitter https://twitter.com/home

    A Little Whine
  7. 12/06/2019

    Mistakes Made & Lessons Learned: The Story of Us

    This episode is going to be a bit personal, to help you know the mistakes I've (we've) made and the lessons we've learned. Some of our story has a lot to do with messed up LIVES and NOT just messed up finances. We met and I decided he was the boy for me within a few weeks. Mort? Not so much. His heart was still with a woman whom he had dated and loved, who had rejected him. Months into the relationship, he let me know he still felt torn, caring for her and beginning to care for me. But I had known many guys and hadn't met anyone as thoughtful and kind as this rascal. I was smitten. Financially we were very separate. He worked as an engineer, had money saved. But mostly he shared living expenses with four other guys, renting a large home and having very small fixed expenses. He used his money to buy things: imported stereo equipment and cars generally. I worked at minimum wage jobs, lived with a family who allowed me to pay very low rent, didn't have much money for gas or tolls when I visited him, had a small Christmas Club savings account, and mostly spent money on food and clothes. When I got pregnant 9 months after we first met and we were married in three weeks. I am not alone falling in love, getting married or moving in together, NEVER having spoken about financial values or goals. But since money is one of the biggest things couples argue about, in hindsight, if you're WISE, if you want to avoid more trouble than you need to have in your relationship, you'll talk about money and your attitudes and goals concerning money.  MISTAKE #1: DON'T BE like Mort and Marion and ignore important topics because they aren't romantic. LESSON #1: DO discuss money with your partner early and often. Newly married and with very little monthly fixed expense, and with few cool items that sales folks couldn't wait to sell us, we sat unaware of how much we needed a bound copy of the Encyclopedia, a water softening unit of a very heavy, but amazing vacuum cleaner. MISTAKE #2: Gradually, and without having a plan for our money, our 'budget' – which if by budget we mean 'savings and spending plan' -which we didn't have became overtaken by fixed expenses for all these unnecessary items that we bought on credit. LESSON #2- Have a plan for your spending and saving. TALK FIRST before you add an ongoing expense to your family commitment. I came from a broken and violent home. He came from a loving and peaceful home. Neither one of really know HOW to go about the work of being married. I didn't realize that you would be THAT angry with someone you actually LOVED. And that having disagreements is normal. That you could love someone with all your heart and still have diametrically opposed ideas. We didn't communicate well. I kept talking, trying to get him to understand. He didn't know how to say what the problem was and so he'd shut down and ignore me. When we'd argue, and he would walk away or leave the house, or say something that hurt me, I would salve my broken heart with shopping. I would buy stuff. And since I didn't know what the financial situation was, I would charge it on a credit card. A woman once complimented me on a hand-knit sweater I wore. I said, 'Thank you! My husband insisted I buy it.' With growing credit card debt from us both, he would be more and more angry. Which would prompt arguments with hurtful words – and more shopping.  Which leads me to MISTAKE #3: DON'T BE like Marion and use shopping to deal with hurt and frustration. LESSON #3 – Direct your money with a PLAN and not on emotional whims. Eventually, and gratefully, because this relationship was much more off the rails in many other ways than needs to be shared in this podcast, someone came to the door and told me that Jesus loved me- and Mort, and asked if I wanted to go in a new direction with my life. And I did. And Mort came, too. Changes came slowly, emotions were still the default response to frustration. Communication was not fixed with prayer. Now we erred in other ways with money. If giving back to God 10% was good, then surely giving back 20 or 30% was even better. After all, we'll be in Heaven soon, and we won't need to worry about credit card bills unpaid, or debts to local merchants piling up or any of those silly earthly concerns. MISTAKE #4 Always generous towards others, we had a heart to give it all away. Obviously, we thought, God will take care of us. LESSON # 4 – Tithing is the right thing to do. Don't go into debt to do it. Eventually, we bought a house. I HAD to have everything I wanted. We maxed out what the bank would let us borrow. We had two small kids and we couldn't easily buy new clothes for them or shoes because by now we have a lot of our fixed income going to debt repayment. BECAUSE we didn't have much available cash, oh, and we had NO budget, or an idea of how the money should be controlled, we used credit cards to buy groceries, kids things, whatever was needed. We TRIED to be careful. We thought we were only spending money on credit because it was sort of an emergency. A new neighbor told me how they were making extra payments on their mortgage early on so that they could have it paid off many years less than the mortgage required. I couldn't understand this. I didn't understand how she learned that, how she afforded that and why we were getting further and further behind. I didn't just hope the problem of the debt and worry would go away. I bought books on budgeting. But they were difficult for me to understand. One book want the reader to write out the pay, take out the taxes and write down each one, to see the net. Why? Tell me how to deal with the net income, I yelled into the living room. Then write down all your expenses and what's left is for savings and food. There WASN'T ANYTHING LEFT. That's why I need to learn to budget. There were no instructions for climbing out of this deep hole and getting back on solid ground. Then we tried schemes, ways to make 'millions' using 'other people's money.' Spent money – on credit – to get the whole system. That system might have worked for someone, but it had little bearing on our capabilities. Mistake #5 Getting further and further away from financial safety. Lesson #5 – Gotta stop the madness. Don't KEEP using credit. Get help now. My husband was working a great job. But the commute time had doubled and his was getting more and more sick. Headaches, frustration, early morning, late evenings. The kids and never saw him and he was spent. We decided to move. We couldn't afford to be closer to work. So we chose to move 500 miles away. Start over. Pay off debt and be freer. But we quickly realized that we didn't have enough down payment for the new house. So we borrowed more assuming that work would always be there and the payments, though making things very tight, would be fine. Until they weren't because he was laid off in an economic slowdown. Mistake #6 – More debt and big assumptions Lesson- Stop assuming that things will be the way they are in the moment you borrow. We have these two adorable sons, who are curious and creative. And I have strong opinions on too much TV viewing and being active and having good quality toys. And my husband loves puzzles. So it's no leap for us to spend money on high-quality toys for the kids. Playmobil, Lego, all the kinds of toys that will keep them really playing. In my world of a difficult childhood, making sure my kids had WHATEVER THEY NEEDED, by my crazed definition, was VITAL. It salved my broken heart. It fixed my childhood traumas by giving them pleasure. Mistake # 7 going into debt out of a crazy emotional needs Lesson- stop trying to fix your past by BUYING things, no matter how well you rationalize it in your mind or to your spouse.   These are just a few of the bad decisions that I have made. In some cases, just in these examples, I made poor choices repeatedly. Your lesson is don't be me. Be smarter than me. Be pragmatic. Stop doing the things you know you need to stop doing before your back is up against the wall and you are FORCED into stopping, because of bankruptcy or job loss or some other difficulty. Twitter - https://twitter.com/home Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/moneymotivationandmotherhood/?eid=ARAqJez1fN4DD3-DWPW2OWY5kICYAA7YHhP-mpbshgcWbZmnsd-IelOWCq33MaszFFU1EMcjicV1DCy2

    Mistakes Made & Lessons Learned: The Story of Us
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About

What do you do if talk of stocks and bonds aren't your think, but you want to know more about money? Who can you ask when you are feeling down about life? How can you encourage the family when you feel pressure? Optimist and encourager, Marion Syversen, will cheer you up and fill your heart with hope in this introduction to her new podcast. Marion owns Norumbega Financial, is an independent financial advisor, the wife of one man, the mother of two sons, and the nana of nine grandchildren. What if relatives want to borrow money? How much stuff do kids really need? How can we meet the deep needs we have without spending all our money? I want you to see how beautiful you are, how capable is your brain and that improvement doesn't have to hurt. Look for the Money, Motivation & Motherhood Facebook group and join in the conversation. https://www.facebook.com/moneymotivationandmotherhood/ Connect with Marion: Twitter https://twitter.com/home Website http://www.norumbegafinancial.com/