Agnes & Leona

agnesandleona

Unscripted and unfiltered, Agnes & Leona is a podcast where two mildly funny women talk about life, death, and everything in between. The stories are always true... it’s what makes them funny.

  1. 10/15/2020

    Fashion: Farmcore, Curtains, & Shaved Eyebrows

    Annnnnnnnnd, we're back. Yeah yeah, we know. It's been a while. All we can say is: 2020   But trust us, we're back with the same Statler & Waldorf vibes we always had, and the burning question: What in the ACTUAL f**k is "Farmcore". Apparently the hills are alive with terrible clothing, and we need to talk about it. Leona seems to think that the runway lands in the closet, whereas Agnes disagrees.  Also, there may or may not have been an incident where one of us shaved off half an eyebrow. It's ok. It's all in the name of "Fashion".   Oh, how we've missed you. Especially our forever faithful listeners in Germany. Sending virtual hugs from our grandmacore hearts.    https://www.buzzfeed.com/vincent/39-reasons-youre-grandmacore   #farmcore #cottagecore #grandmacore #fashion #nordstrom #homedepot #comedy #statlerandwaldorf #agnesandleona #eyebrowmalfunction #hugeingermany

  2. 07/17/2020

    Etiquette: Ethel Cotton, Roosters, & Taupe

    When you think of etiquette, you may think that Emily Post wrote the book. You're not wrong, but did you know that there's a WAY more hilariously offensive tome on the topic? Welcome to the Ethel Cotton Course on Conversation... and trust us, it's quite the conversation piece itself. But even MORE exciting than this mid-century lesson in how to be deranged is the fact that we're joined by "the third one". The one who has lived so many of these adventures with us. The one who hates pants the most. We've escaped north, gathered our little coven together, and podcast to you from that undisclosed location where there are three pantless women cooking and brewing trouble. Meet Florence... Flo for short. The three of us dive into the world of Ethel, learn how to describe a c**k in great detail, and Agnes gets real fired up about taupe... the color of giving up.    Also, we have a new name for you - our listeners. Henceforth, we shall refer to you as our "hearers". See, maybe Ethel wasn't all bad.    We're sorry if you're listening to this in a taupe room. Just close your eyes... it'll be ok.  https://www.architecturelab.net/what-is-taupe-color/   We're wondering if Martha Stewart knows about Ethel... in the mean time, you read up on what Emily's rules were: https://www.marthastewart.com/1512296/you-can-thank-emily-post-for-these-rules-of-etiquette

  3. 07/10/2020

    Thumbs: Sociopaths, Lavender & Obstinance.

    If a serial killer has the best of intentions, is he really so bad? Dexter was likable enough... eh? Ok, settle down- no one is murdering people here. But plants... that's another story. This week we delve into the heart and mind of Agnes as she grapples with her crimes against plants. Leona has been trying to rehab her for years, but with mediocre results at best. It all boils down to one thing: obstinance. Or maybe it's "determined optimism!" either way, she's shouldn't be left alone with plants. But she means well... she really does. But then again, so did Dexter...   In case you have no idea who Dexter is: https://dexter.fandom.com/wiki/Dexter_(show) It's not just Agnes. HGTV is obsessed too: https://www.hgtv.com/outdoors/flowers-and-plants/herbs/benefits-of-lavender How to cope with Agnes and her stubbornness: https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/12-ways-deal-with-stubborn-people-and-convince-them-listen.html     #podcast #agnesandleona #bestfriends #plantkiller #plantmurder #obstinant #stubborn #lavendergrowing #gardentips #makeyourgardengrow #deadtings #comedy #satire #andwereback #dexter #HGTV #growgood #lavenderfarm #onlythestrongsurvive #desertliving #planthospice

  4. 05/26/2020

    Nachos: Lactose Intolerance, Porn Names & Brilliant Ideas

    We're so excited to have our very first SPECIAL GUEST! Meet Sloan... aka "Ebony Hannah" if we're using our porn names. He's pretty amazing, as are his stories of hiking after WAY too much cheese. And there also may have been a minor incident with cat-fishing some hippies up in red rock country. We're not entirely sure, but seems like something we would do. So kick back, have some nachos and listen as Leona, aka "Barnacle Bushnell", and Agnes aka "Tootsie Breakneck" laugh through another episode.    Need your own nacho recipe? Yep.  https://www.delish.com/cooking/recipe-ideas/recipes/a51518/nachos-supreme-recipe/   #specialguest #gueststar #podcast #newepisode #comedy #nachos #lactoseintolerant #hiking #sedona #redrocks #getoutside #terribleidea #jalapenomargarita #lookaway #homesignage #zitpopping #funny #threescompany #pornnames

  5. 05/18/2020

    Experts: Podcasting, Parenting & Ecoli

    Did you know that people can have more than one child?? Revolutionary concept! THANK GOD there are people brave enough to podcast about it. We are not those people. Also, GTFO with your nonsense. And while we're ranting, all you "masterminds" can suck it too. For the record, spouting off an opinion on a experience that is broadly shared and easily obtained doesn't make you an EXPERT. It makes you an a*****e. You know how we know...? Because we podcast too... but we promise we're not experts. Except when it comes to clearing out your colon with spicy food. (Weren't expect such a hard left turn, were ya?)   We are not doctors and this is not medical advice: https://www.webmd.com/food-recipes/food-poisoning/what-is-e-coli#1   #podcast #parenting #mastermind #gtfo #stfu #experts #cleanse #indianfood #motherhood #hypocrites #bestfriends #comedy #settledown #lifestyleblogger #getarealjob #theunfollowing #agnesandleona #statlerandwaldorf

  6. 05/12/2020

    Vacation: Sea Urchins, Lieutenant Dan & Barracudas

    Would you pee on your best friend? You're damn right you would! Intentionally, because she swam through a school of jellyfish... get the mind out of the gutter, you freak. This week we're back, and we're all over the damn place. Don't mind us while we rant a moment about people refusing to wear masks (Darwin Awards to follow), but really dive in (pun totally intended) when it comes to needing a vacation. An adrenaline filled, salt water drenched, oh my god is this how we die, vacation. Join us for a trip back to one of our favorite vacations... ah, the Philippines. Best of luck bitches. #BOLB   If you're a Freinds-o-phile, you know where we're coming from with the pee...  https://www.ripleys.com/weird-news/jellyfish-pee/   IF you go to the Philippines, make your peace with God, like Lieutenant Dan:  https://youtu.be/HqAbjHKO5jM?t=19   #forestgump #lieutenantdan #barracuda #storm #snorkle #findingnemo #vacation #traveltips #adventurefriends #islandlife #survivor #podcast #comedy #bestfriends #coven #bestofluckbitches #puthemaskon #friends #seaurchin #charliesangles #sexinthecity #delusional #instantkarma #jellyfish #ivebeenstung #michaelphelps #walkonwater #podcast

  7. 04/28/2020

    Workout: Legwarmers, Traction & Crowbars

    Where were you in the mid 80s? If your answer is wearing thigh-high leg-warmers while sweating with Jane Fonda to some totally awesome synth music, Agnes was right there with you. Fast forward 25 years, quarantine bodies are less than svelt, and Agnes thought it would be a good idea to find Jane again. Needless to say, it's a situation ripe for injury and entertainment. Meanwhile, Leona is staying in shape by ripping out perfectly good bathrooms and threatening her nearest and dearest with heavy tools. So grab a leotard and join us, lets sweat this one out together... six feet apart.    Don't believe us? Check out this Vogue article detailing why this is still THE BEST WORKOUT EVER! https://www.vogue.com/article/jane-fonda-workout-videos-health-aerobics-yoga-class-pass   They're not quite the glorious neon leg warmers of days gone by, but they'll do (thank you, H&M): https://www2.hm.com/en_us/productpage.0661192001.html   Should you remodel your own bathroom? No. The answer is no. Unless, quarantine: https://www.thespruce.com/diy-vs-professional-bathroom-remodeling-1821243     Agnes & Leona is a podcast about absolutely nothing. Cheers!   #podcast #comedy #quaratineconfessions #workout #penguin #janefonda #1980s #traction #crowbar #bathroomremodel #buildingmuscle #leotard #legwarmers #fitfam #aerobics #groupexercise #gymlife #homeworkout #stayfit #quaratineworkout #perspective #bitchesbecrazy #podcast #comedy #agnesandleona #bestfriends #vodka #denimcage #motivation #fitnessmotivation #health #exercise #bendy #fitspo #instafit #weightloss #fitnessmodel #bhfyp #educatedguess #tuesdaymorningvibes

  8. 04/21/2020

    Nightstands: Sex Toys, Handguns & Laxatives

    The gun isn't for the cat... lets just make that clear right from the top. The gun is for the apparent line of people in Leona's bedroom trying to steal her multiple passports. Now that we've cleared THAT up, lets talk about what else is in the nightstand... It's a fun game to play while playing Marie Kondo, Quarantine Edition. We can tell you that all the things in our nightstands bring us joy. Yep, from cat laxatives to sex toys, it all has a place. Don't judge us- we bet yours is just as bad. Maybe worse. As long as it brings YOU joy, you'll get no judgment from us... we'll laugh our asses off about it, but WITH you, not at you. Kind of.    Nightstand Reading: "F*****g History" - It's about history. Not f*****g. And it's great, highly recommend: https://www.amazon.com/F*****g-History-Lessons-Learned-School/dp/0692795367   Cat Laxative: Maybe you're into some kinky shit... or maybe your cat has a hairball. Either way... https://www.vetoquinolusa.com/content/laxatone#tab_section_0   Wanna feel bad about your choices? Check out how many drinks are in a bottle of vodka: https://www.thespruceeats.com/how-many-shots-in-a-bottle-761232     Agnes & Leona is a podcast about absolutely nothing. Cheers!    #nightstandconfessions #quaratineconfessions #sextoys #penguin #catlaxative #footfile #pedicure #fuckinghistory #thecaptain #sgrstk #readabook #gunsinnightstands #loveletters #lovenotes #houseparty #mariekondo #perspective #bitchesbecrazy #podcast #comedy #agnesandleona #bestfriends #vodka #educatedguess #cockring #tuesdaymorningvibes

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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
3 Ratings

About

Unscripted and unfiltered, Agnes & Leona is a podcast where two mildly funny women talk about life, death, and everything in between. The stories are always true... it’s what makes them funny.

Information

  • Creator
    agnesandleona
  • Years Active
    2020
  • Episodes
    24
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2019 All rights reserved.
  • Show Website
    Agnes & Leona