Put On Your Big Girl Pants

Put On Your Big Girl Pants

Want to have hope when life is hard? Having been a young widow at the age of 33 with small children Kamille’s realistic, honest, and humorous approach to her problems and challenges is a breath of fresh air for listeners. Relating to young mothers as well as older widows this podcast inspires listeners as they realize they aren’t alone in their feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, and heartache. Kamille helps listeners see that life can go from bad to worse but if they have faith and trust in The Lord and ‘Put on their big girl pants” Then those hard times will help them strengthen their faith, refine their character, and make them who they were destined to be!

  1. Oct 15

    Mike the Widower Warrior: Grief from a Husband & Father's Perspective

    We talk a lot on this show about what grief looks like for a widow. Today we hear it from a widower — a dad still showing up for his four kids while carrying the loss of his wife. Mike Daniels lost his wife Angela to cancer in 2018, after 16 years together. In this conversation he's honest about the parts of grief men don't usually say out loud: the anger, the doubt, the nights you wrestle with God — and the faith that held anyway. EPISODE SUMMARY: Mike Daniels is a husband, a father of four, and a widower. When Angela died of cancer in 2018, he was left to raise their children — ages 16, 14, and twin 11-year-olds — through the hardest season of his life. We talk about grief from a man's perspective: why men so often channel pain into anger, what it's like to doubt and still believe, facing death with faith, and where hope actually comes from. SCRIPTURE REFERENCES: Hebrews 11 — the faith chapter; the faithful who "died in faith" still believing (Hebrews 11:13; 11:39-40). Jesus on John the Baptist, that none is "greater born of women" (Matthew 11:11). John the Baptist's martyrdom (Matthew 14). GUEST: Mike Daniels lives in southern Idaho with his four children (ages 16, 14, and twin 11-year-olds). He was married to Angela for 16 years before she passed from cancer in 2018. He works in construction management, DIYs everything, loves the outdoors and time with his family, and above all is a born-again Christian following his Lord, Jesus Christ. CHAPTER TIMECODES: CALL TO ACTION Send this to someone whose hard date is coming. And if you have lost someone — what date is hard for you? Tell me. LINKS Listen: putonyourbiggirlpants.com Watch: youtube.com/KamilleBauer Speaking: kamillebauer.com Social: @KamilleBauer on Instagram, Facebook & Threads

    Mike the Widower Warrior: Grief from a Husband & Father's Perspective
  2. Oct 1

    Grief Has a Calendar: 4 Things That Help on the Hard Days

    September 28th is the day my husband died. September 30th is his birthday. Forty-eight hours apart, every year, for eleven years. I recorded this episode on the anniversary itself — and it did not go the way I planned. FULL SHOW NOTES I woke up fine. I got ready, told myself I had my big girl pants on, and five minutes down the road it slammed into me. I cried the whole way to work, pulled myself together in the parking lot for two meetings, and cried the whole way home. So this is not an episode about handling it well. It is four things that help, from someone who was still doing it badly that morning — and four things you can do for somebody whose hard date is coming. Also in this episode: the family member who told my nine-year-old “I don’t celebrate dead people’s birthdays,” why we are eating hamburgers on the 30th anyway, and what my kids and I do at the grave site. IN THIS EPISODE If you are the one grieving: 1. Decide before the day what the day is going to look like 2. Don’t hold it in — do the thing that lets it out 3. Tell someone, or don’t. You don’t owe anyone your grief 4. Give grace to the people who say the wrong thing If you love someone with a hard date coming: 1. Remember the date — put it in your phone and set it to repeat 2. Send four words — “thinking about you today” 3. Say their name 4. Any day matters — even a basic Tuesday CHAPTERS 00:00:00 Two dates, forty-eight hours apart 00:01:29 “Get over it — it’s been eleven years” 00:02:49 Matthew 7: judge not 00:03:30 Grief is like a fingerprint 00:03:51 Recording this on the anniversary itself 00:04:13 The drive to work, and the parking lot 00:05:20 ONE: Decide before the day what the day looks like 00:06:23 Why the death day and the birthday are worse together 00:07:39 TWO: Do something with it 00:08:10 Wyatt, the grave, and the weed whacker 00:09:03 Asian Star — Clint’s favorite 00:09:42 The burger joint on his fortieth 00:09:50 “I don’t celebrate dead people’s birthdays” 00:10:34 Grace for the ones who haven’t lost anyone 00:10:52 THREE: Tell someone — or don’t 00:11:29 1 Samuel 16: the outward appearance 00:12:07 FOUR: Give others grace 00:13:30 Ecclesiastes 3: a time to mourn and a time to dance 00:13:50 The grief train you never bought a ticket for 00:14:32 For the supporters: four things 00:14:49 Remember the date, and set it to repeat 00:15:11 Send four words 00:15:39 Say their name 00:16:00 Any day can be the hard day 00:16:45 Be the angel on a basic Tuesday 00:17:49 John 11:35 — Jesus wept 00:17:56 Mosiah 18:9 — nobody is asking you to fix it 00:18:14 Fat dog day 00:19:00 Grief has a calendar SCRIPTURE REFERENCED Matthew 7:1-2 (02:21) — judge not, that ye be not judged 1 Samuel 16:7 (10:53) — man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart Ecclesiastes 3:4 (13:02) — a time to mourn, and a time to dance John 11:35 (17:15) — Jesus wept Mosiah 18:9 (17:23) — mourn with those that mourn CALL TO ACTION Send this to someone whose hard date is coming. And if you have lost someone — what date is hard for you? Tell me. LINKS Listen: putonyourbiggirlpants.com Watch: youtube.com/KamilleBauer Speaking: kamillebauer.com Social: @KamilleBauer on Instagram, Facebook & Threads

    Grief Has a Calendar: 4 Things That Help on the Hard Days
  3. Sep 17

    How to Be the Friend Who Shows Up

    "Let me know if you need anything." You've said it. You meant it. It has never once worked. Kamille takes apart the most common sentence in grief and replaces it with four things that actually help someone in the worst season of their life. FULL SHOW NOTES Everyone says it. Almost nobody realizes it isn't an offer — it's an assignment, handed to the person least able to carry it. It asks someone whose life is falling apart to work out what they need, decide whether you meant it, and then be vulnerable enough to ask. The people who helped Kamille most never said it. The neighbor kids who ran a lemonade stand during Clint's diagnosis didn't ask. The friend who sent a purse, slippers and a card on the first Valentine's Day after he died didn't ask. They saw the need and they filled it. In this episode she breaks down the four things to do instead — listen for the need, tell them rather than ask, give them a day they can move, and feed hearts as well as stomachs — then the four things to stop saying, including the one she couldn't even finish writing down. She talks about what friendship looks like months later, when the funeral is over and everyone else has gone back to their lives, and about giving grace to the people who got it wrong. It ends where it should: Job's friends sitting on the ground for seven days without saying a word, and Hebrews 13:2 — we are all angels for each other. IN THIS EPISODE Why "let me know if you need anything" flips the assignment onto the person already drowning The lemonade stand, and the Valentine's package that came without being asked for How to spot a need when there's no crisis — the "helping scanner" and listening for distress Tell them, don't ask: "I'd love to bring you pizza — Wednesday or Thursday?" Why a hot meal can feel like an imposition, and what landed better Feed hearts, minds and mouths — and never sit on a prompting The hug she almost talked herself out of giving Four things to stop saying, including "everything happens for a reason" After the funeral: the reminder in your phone, and why saying his name out loud is a gift "I don't celebrate dead people's birthdays" — and what that cost a nine-year-old boy Grace for the people who got it wrong Job 2:13 and Hebrews 13:2 CHAPTERS 00:00:00 Introduction 00:00:33 "Let me know if you need anything" 00:01:53 Why that sentence doesn't work 00:04:23 The lemonade stand and the Valentine's package 00:06:42 When there's no crisis: listening for the need 00:08:57 Tell them, don't ask 00:10:56 Why a hot meal can feel like an imposition 00:12:37 Feed hearts, minds and mouths 00:13:20 The hug I almost talked myself out of 00:15:39 Four things to stop saying 00:18:32 After the funeral: reminders, and saying his name 00:20:26 "I don't celebrate dead people's birthdays" 00:22:48 Grace for the ones who got it wrong 00:24:27 Job sat on the ground for seven days 00:25:59 The errand of angels SCRIPTURE REFERENCED Mosiah 18:8-9 (00:11) — bear one another's burdens; mourn with those that mourn Job 2:13 (23:54) — seven days on the ground, and none spake a word Hebrews 13:2 (25:26) — entertained angels unawares CALL TO ACTION Send this to the friend who's been meaning to reach out and doesn't know how. LINKS Listen: putonyourbiggirlpants.com Watch: youtube.com/@KamilleBauer Speaking: kamillebauer.com Social: @KamilleBauer on Instagram, Facebook & Threads

    How to Be the Friend Who Shows Up
  4. Sep 3

    3 Things to Do in a Crisis (and Where I've Been)

    After two years away, Kamille returns with the three things that carried her through the hardest season of her life. I host a podcast about how to have hope when life is hard. And then life got hard — and I stopped making it. This is where I've been, and the three things that carried me through. Three things to do in a crisis: 1. Give yourself grace. It's okay to put down what you're supposed to be doing. 2. Give others grace. Someone will say the wrong thing. Someone won't show up. Resentment is heavy, and you can't carry one more thing. 3. Give it up to God. Even when the answer is no, or silence. And then you repeat it. Because you don't do this once — you do it again tomorrow, and some days you do it again by lunch. Pray. Believe. Hope. Serve. About this episode: My husband Clint died of chondrosarcoma in 2015. Four years later I started Put On Your Big Girl Pants, because I've never been able to talk about a hard thing while I'm still inside of it. In 2023 I stepped away from the show — my family needed every single thing I had, and I'd make that decision again tomorrow. This is episode 110, and Season 6 starts now. New episodes the 1st and 3rd Thursday of every month. Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/Db_GoJQWXRg Website: https://kamillebauer.com Email: kamille@kamillebauer.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kamillelbauer If something here helped, follow the show so the next one finds you — and leave a review. It's genuinely how new people find us.

    3 Things to Do in a Crisis (and Where I've Been)
3.9
out of 5
75 Ratings

About

Want to have hope when life is hard? Having been a young widow at the age of 33 with small children Kamille’s realistic, honest, and humorous approach to her problems and challenges is a breath of fresh air for listeners. Relating to young mothers as well as older widows this podcast inspires listeners as they realize they aren’t alone in their feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, and heartache. Kamille helps listeners see that life can go from bad to worse but if they have faith and trust in The Lord and ‘Put on their big girl pants” Then those hard times will help them strengthen their faith, refine their character, and make them who they were destined to be!