Venture Church | Bozeman

Venture Church | Bozeman

Join us and pastor Charley Carpenter live or online at live.venturechurch.us For more information check out https://venturechurch.us

  1. The Hand-Off

    May 24

    The Hand-Off

    Imagine you are tasked with the care of a royal child of a far off country; they are to live with you until early adulthood when they leave to reign in the new country: What would you do to ensure a smooth transition when the time comes? We parent knowing we are stewards of lives we will one day hand off to God: we want our children to eventually know God as their true Father Our spiritual job as parents is to help our children know God as a good Father who is: Lord of their lives Proverbs 3:5-6 Our spiritual job as parents is to help our children know God as a good Father who is: Lord of their lives Proverbs 3:5-6 The One who delights in them Zephanaiah 3:17 (ESV) Zephaniah 3:17 (ESV) Zach’s Guide to Raising Angry Children! Give them no clear way to “win” Compromises God as Lord because, even though they want to do the right thing, they don’t know how or feel incapable Compromises delight because of an atmosphere of criticism Handoff path: Give clear ways to win, largely through your praise of things they are doing really well, effort you observe 5 praises to 1 criticism Culture of praise and encouragement Zach’s Guide to Raising Angry Children! Be inconsistent in consequences and promises Compromises God as Lord because it creates a fundamental disrespect and distrust of authority Compromises delight because it creates resentful parents Handoff path: Create ways to have consistent follow-through that is age-appropriate (ex: time out - 1 minute per year) Create something your child must face other than your anger Zach’s Guide to Raising Angry Children! Leave them emotionally lonely Compromises God as Lord by giving them a feeling that they are alone and must be their own masters Compromises delight because emotional loneliness creates a secret inner self which feels unworthy of care Handoff path: Try to step into curiosity about their emotions, help them name feelings they are experiencing Create opportunities for fun Make margin in the week for unscheduled together time Zach’s Guide to Raising Angry Children! Prioritize and connect with your kids more than you prioritize and connect with your spouse Compromises God as Lord Because it creates a framework where God, like the triangulated parent, can be related to as an equal Compromises delight Because of the emotional dependence in a triangulated relationship which makes parental delight impossible, exchanging it for something closer to spousal delight Because it creates feelings of jealousy and betrayal in the other spouse Handoff path: Keep regular date nights and work toward increasing emotional intimacy with your spouse This is harder than it is with children, but the results are worth it If you are a single parent, prioritize emotionally fulfilling and intimate relationships with friends and adult family members Deuteronomy 6:4-9 Making the Handoff Doable Family devotions (be flexible!) Jesus Storybook Bible Audio dramas of Bible stories (Adventures in Odyssey) Media series (The Chosen, The Chosen Adventures) Making the Handoff Doable Scripture memory - Psalm 119:11 Make it fun! Celebrate when someone memorizes a verse Making the Handoff Doable Have “dates” with your kids (but only if you are already having dates with your spouse) Rules: Time limited Your child picks what you do No criticism or teachable moments Making the Handoff Doable Ask trusted friends to invest in your children Making the Handoff Doable Pray over your kids Zephaniah 3:17 (ESV)

    56 min

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Join us and pastor Charley Carpenter live or online at live.venturechurch.us For more information check out https://venturechurch.us