Alison Answers #MissionAwake

Alison Lager LCSW, CASAC

Alison Answers Podcast was created to be authentic and designed to call out the greatness in you. Host Alison has been successful in the mental health field for the last 30 years, offering a wealth a of experience. She is funny, real, dynamic, and driven. Alison's mission is to AWAKEN us all to the mediocrity that is wired into our brain from early childhood. She is personally offended by the mediocrity in our society and her mission is to stop the plague mentality of "just good enough." Join us as Alison and her industry leading guests discuss various cutting edge topics. This podcast offers a perfect blend of intelligence, humor and realness that is committed towards developing the excellence in you! The podcast is a perfect marriage between mental health and personal development!

  1. 6d ago

    How Your Brain Keeps You Stuck in Reaction Mode | Alison Answers How To Crush Mediocrity

    Send us Fan Mail This episode is about something I believe quietly destroys more lives than most people realize. It is not always trauma. It is not always failure. It is not always lack of opportunity. Sometimes, it is our unconscious reaction to everything. In this solo episode of Alison Answers, I’m talking about the difference between reacting to life and intentionally creating it. Because so many of us think we are thinking things through, but what we are really doing is reacting. I share insights from my book The Wake Up Call and walk through how we move from reaction mode into creation. In this episode, I talk about: - Why most people are reacting more than they realize - Why worry is a form of visualization - How your brain prepares your body for what you repeatedly focus on - Why fear can start to feel like wisdom - How hypervigilance trains the brain to search for danger - Why calm can feel unsafe when your nervous system is used to chaos - How language shapes identity - Why mediocrity is so expensive - How repeated thoughts become practiced identity - Why creation requires action, not just wishful thinking - How to stop rehearsing fear and start creating the life you actually want If you have been feeling anxious, tired, stuck, uninspired, or like you are constantly reacting to life instead of leading it, I want this episode to be a wake-up call. Timestamps: 00:00 Intro 00:58 Stop reacting and start creating 02:41 The thing quietly destroying people’s lives 03:28 Thinking vs reacting 04:18 Old programming, fear, and childhood conditioning 05:21 Rehearsing disaster and worst-case scenarios 06:40 A tool to calm the body and interrupt reaction 08:26 Reacting to life vs creating it intentionally 09:03 Rehearsed fear vs rehearsed future 10:03 Worry is visualization 11:18 What world is your brain preparing you for? 12:33 How focus strengthens neural pathways 12:57 Hypervigilance and searching for danger 15:08 When rehearsed fear starts to feel like wisdom 17:06 Why people become addicted to reaction 18:53 Why calm can feel unsafe 20:09 Creation requires presence 21:55 Letting go of struggle and seeking wisdom 22:21 Why society rewards mediocrity 23:49 Wanting more does not make you shallow 26:14 How people slowly settle for less 27:47 The real cost of mediocrity 30:01 Identity is built through repetition 30:51 Why language matters 31:55 How to interrupt painful identity patterns 33:30 Creation requires action 35:08 Life is built one thought, one feeling, one breath at a time 37:08 The inherited story vs the consciously created story 38:11 Are you reacting or creating? 39:24 Take charge of your life 39:51 Closing message and how to support the podcast Connect with Alison: Instagram: @alisonanswers | @lagercounselingWebsite: LagerCounseling.comYouTube: Alison AnswersFacebook: Alison Lager Lcsw CasacPurchase Alison’s book: “The Wake Up Call”Alison Answers Facebook Group: Join HEREWomen of Excellence FB group: Join HERE⚠️ Crisis Resources: Lager Counseling Services Call: 516-221-2123 Text: (914) 363-0381 Wantagh: 3408 Park Ave. Wantagh, NY 11793 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (24/7, free, confidential) Call or text 988 | Visit 988lifeline.org

    42 min
  2. May 30

    The Psychology of Self-Sabotage and Protector Parts | Alison Answers

    Send us Fan Mail If you’ve been trying to stop a behavior, break a pattern, or change something about yourself but it keeps coming back, this episode is for you. Maybe it’s people-pleasing. Over-explaining. Avoidance. Anger. Perfectionism. Shutting down. Or a behavior you keep promising yourself you’re done with. But no matter how much you understand it, hate it, or try to force it away, a part of you still goes back to it. In today’s solo episode of Alison Answers, Alison Lager breaks down the psychology behind why some behaviors are so hard to stop, and why what looks like self-sabotage may actually be a protector part trying to keep you safe. This episode invites you to stop asking, “What’s wrong with me?” and start asking a deeper question: What is this protecting me from? Alison explains why certain behaviors become survival strategies, how the nervous system can mistake change for danger, and why trying to remove a coping strategy too quickly can cause another pattern to take its place. You’ll learn why your body may choose protection over happiness, why willpower alone often isn’t enough, and how to begin meeting these parts of yourself with curiosity instead of shame. By the end of this episode, you’ll understand: - Why “bad behaviors” can be hard to stop even when you want to change - How protector parts form around pain, shame, rejection, and fear - Why your nervous system may resist letting go of old patterns - How people-pleasing, over-explaining, anger, avoidance, and perfectionism can become protection - Why attacking the behavior can make shame worse - Why removing a coping strategy too early can backfire - The question that can help you understand what the behavior is really protecting - How to let your adult self, higher self, or grounded self lead instead of the scared part - Why healing begins with safety, not self-attack If you’ve been beating yourself up for the same pattern over and over, this episode will help you see it differently. Maybe the behavior is not the whole story. Maybe the pattern has a purpose. Maybe the part of you you keep fighting was once the part trying to save you. Watch the full episode of Alison Answers to understand the psychology behind why you can’t just stop bad behaviors, and what your nervous system may be trying to protect. In this episode 00:00 Intro 01:05 What protector parts are 02:36 Why attacking the behavior can backfire 03:26 What happens when a protector is removed too soon 05:49 Why coping strategies need to be understood first 06:26 Why the protector part is rarely the enemy 06:53 Protector parts as exhausted bodyguards 09:04 How unhealthy behaviors can regulate the nervous system 09:27 Perfectionism, anger, people-pleasing, over-explaining, and dissociation 10:32 Why there may be nothing “wrong” with you 11:20 What to do instead of attacking the behavior 12:23 Questions to ask your protector part 13:15 Why the goal is not to destroy the protector 14:51 Using visualization to understand younger parts 16:03 Letting the adult self lead 18:07 Why the behavior is not the whole story 18:40 Getting out of the thinking brain and into the body 20:29 Awareness without judgment 21:20 Learning to ask yourself better questions 21:45 Becoming steady, grounded, and peaceful Connect with Alison: Instagram: @alisonanswers | @lagercounselingWebsite: LagerCounseling.comYouTube: Alison AnswersFacebook: Alison Lager Lcsw CasacPurchase Alison’s book: “The Wake Up Call”Alison Answers Facebook Group: Join HEREWomen of Excellence FB group: Join HERE⚠️ Crisis Resources: Lager Counseling Services Call: 516-221-2123 Text: (914) 363-0381 Wantagh: 3408 Park Ave. Wantagh, NY 11793 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (24/7, free, confidential) Call or text 988 | Visit 988lifeline.org

    23 min
  3. May 24

    What Grief Does To The Body After Loss | Victoria Volk on Alison Answers Podcast Pt.2

    Send us Fan Mail Victoria Volk went from a lifetime of “healthy positivity” and people‑pleasing to realizing she was carrying deep, unprocessed grief, emotional neglect, and unresolved relationships trapped in her body and energy field. In this episode, you’ll see how childhood loss, emotional hunger, and years of over‑functioning shaped her life and how her grief‑recovery method “Do Grief Differently,” Human Design, and biofield tuning helped her finally drop the “backpack of rocks” she’d been carrying. You’ll learn how to stop confusing constant movement with strength, why people‑pleasing and perfectionism often hide unfinished grief, and how the same emotional themes keep showing up in love, work, and identity until you finally face them. Watch this if: 👉 You feel spiritually or emotionally “blocked” under your sternum (solar plexus) despite your success 👉 You keep repeating the same relationship patterns or feel unseen in your wisdom 👉 You struggle with approval, loneliness, or people‑pleasing without knowing why 👉 You experience grief from sudden loss, suicide, divorce, or emotional neglect 👉 You want to understand how your childhood losses shape your adult energy, boundaries, and healing You’ll walk away with: ✅ A clearer understanding of how childhood and emotional loss shape adult relationships and energy ✅ A practical way to map your history of loss and find the core relationships that hold your pain ✅ Insight into how Projectors and other Human Design types are built to heal, not to hustle ✅ A new perspective on forgiveness that doesn’t require confrontation with the other person ✅ Tools to notice how your body and energy field respond to grief, energetic work, and service ✅ A deeper sense that there is nothing to fix Connect with Alison: Instagram: @alisonanswers | @lagercounselingWebsite: LagerCounseling.comYouTube: Alison AnswersFacebook: Alison Lager Lcsw CasacPurchase Alison’s book: “The Wake Up Call”Alison Answers Facebook Group: Join HEREWomen of Excellence FB group: Join HERE⚠️ Crisis Resources: Lager Counseling Services Call: 516-221-2123 Text: (914) 363-0381 Wantagh: 3408 Park Ave. Wantagh, NY 11793 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (24/7, free, confidential) Call or text 988 | Visit 988lifeline.org

    43 min
  4. May 18

    Your Childhood Subconsciously Programmed Your Adult Failures | Victoria Volk on Alison Answers Pt.1

    Send us Fan Mail Victoria Volk went from being the ultimate "strong friend" and a functional binge drinker to realizing she was trapped by a low-level frequency of unresolved childhood grief. In this episode, you’ll see how losing her father at age eight, experiencing early trauma, and stepping into an adult emotional caretaker role at a young age shaped her life and how excavating her past, breaking generational patterns, and mastering sound healing helped her finally break free. You’ll learn how to stop confusing a busy life with a healed life, why being the shoulder everyone cries on often hides your own deep pain, and how unprocessed emotional wounds act like a silent background hum, sabotaging your health, habits, and relationships until you look them in the face. Watch this if: 👉 You are always the "strong one" everyone leans on, but you secretly feel empty or unsupported. 👉 You use alcohol, work, or busywork to numb a constant, low-level anxiety in the background. 👉 You’ve noticed that your friends or family get uncomfortable or distance themselves when you start changing. 👉 You want to understand how childhood losses (beyond just death) silently dictate your adult choices. You’ll walk away with: ✅ A radical new definition of grief that explains why you might be mourning lost dreams or expectations. ✅ The chilling reason why 75% of your adult emotional responses were already hardwired by the time you turned three. ✅ Insight into how emotional trauma physically stores itself in the body, and how sound frequencies can clear it. ✅ A raw, honest framework for becoming a generational chain-breaker so your children don't inherit your wounds. Connect with Alison: Instagram: @alisonanswers | @lagercounselingWebsite: LagerCounseling.comYouTube: Alison AnswersFacebook: Alison Lager Lcsw CasacPurchase Alison’s book: “The Wake Up Call”Alison Answers Facebook Group: Join HEREWomen of Excellence FB group: Join HERE⚠️ Crisis Resources: Lager Counseling Services Call: 516-221-2123 Text: (914) 363-0381 Wantagh: 3408 Park Ave. Wantagh, NY 11793 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (24/7, free, confidential) Call or text 988 | Visit 988lifeline.org

    49 min
  5. May 6

    30+ Years as a Therapist: Understanding Perception and Peace

    Send us Fan Mail Alison Lager reveals why your brain may be creating the conflict you think you are trying to solve. In this episode of Alison Answers, Alison explains the neuroscience behind perception, relationships, emotional reactions, and personal transformation. She breaks down why the brain does not simply record reality, but constructs it through past experiences, emotional states, beliefs, expectations, and unconscious filters. This is why two people can be in the same room, have the same conversation, and still walk away with completely different versions of what happened. Alison explains how this shows up in marriage, parenting, friendships, work, and everyday conflict. Instead of trying to prove who is right, she teaches how to slow down, take accountability for your inner world, and ask questions that create clarity instead of defensiveness. She also shares the principle of Kaizen, a Japanese concept rooted in small, consistent improvement. Alison explains how 1% daily shifts can change your habits, relationships, mindset, home, emotional responses, and life over time. In this episode, Alison explains: ◼️ Why your brain does not record reality  ◼️ How your past shapes what you think is happening now  ◼️ Why two people can experience the same event differently  ◼️ Why couples get stuck arguing over whose version is “true”  ◼️ How to stop the attack-and-defend cycle  ◼️ Why better questions create better relationships  ◼️ How to take accountability for your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs  ◼️ Why Kaizen is one of the most powerful ways to change your life  ◼️ How small 1% improvements compound over time  ◼️ Why waiting for a breakthrough may be keeping you stuck  ◼️ How to shift from living in the problem to living in the solution  ◼️ Why love is power, discipline, structure, and choice If you have ever felt misunderstood, defensive, stuck in conflict, or overwhelmed by the size of the change you want to make, this episode will help you see your relationships and your life through a clearer lens. The way you see things may feel true, but it may not be the whole truth. And one small shift today may be the beginning of a completely different life. Connect with Alison: Instagram: @alisonanswers | @lagercounselingWebsite: LagerCounseling.comYouTube: Alison AnswersFacebook: Alison Lager Lcsw CasacPurchase Alison’s book: “The Wake Up Call”Alison Answers Facebook Group: Join HEREWomen of Excellence FB group: Join HERE⚠️ Crisis Resources: Lager Counseling Services Call: 516-221-2123 Text: (914) 363-0381 Wantagh: 3408 Park Ave. Wantagh, NY 11793 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (24/7, free, confidential) Call or text 988 | Visit 988lifeline.org

    27 min
  6. Apr 30

    Why Strong Women Still Feel Lonely | Angela Goodman on Alison Answers Podcast

    Send us Fan Mail Angela Goodman went from looking like she had it all together to realizing she was deeply lonely, driven by approval, and trapped in repeating relationship patterns. In this episode, you’ll see how childhood divorce, emotional neglect, control, and years of over-performing shaped her life and how self-awareness, faith, and pattern recognition helped her finally break free. You’ll learn how to stop confusing success with healing, why people-pleasing often hides deeper pain, and how the same emotional wounds keep showing up in love, work, and identity until you finally face them. Watch this if: 👉 You feel successful on the outside but empty on the inside 👉 You keep attracting the same relationship patterns 👉 You struggle with approval, loneliness, or people-pleasing 👉 You want to understand how childhood wounds affect adult choices You’ll walk away with: ✅ A clearer understanding of how childhood shapes adult relationships ✅ A better way to recognize emotional triggers and repeating patterns ✅ Insight into why overworking and performing can hide deep loneliness ✅ A more honest view of healing, growth, and self-awareness Connect with Alison: Instagram: @alisonanswers | @lagercounselingWebsite: LagerCounseling.comYouTube: Alison AnswersFacebook: Alison Lager Lcsw CasacPurchase Alison’s book: “The Wake Up Call”Alison Answers Facebook Group: Join HEREWomen of Excellence FB group: Join HERE⚠️ Crisis Resources: Lager Counseling Services Call: 516-221-2123 Text: (914) 363-0381 Wantagh: 3408 Park Ave. Wantagh, NY 11793 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (24/7, free, confidential) Call or text 988 | Visit 988lifeline.org

    1h 20m
  7. Apr 23

    How Trauma Shapes a Man’s Life, Identity, Relationships, and Need for Validation | Ronald Zion on Alison Answers

    Send us Fan Mail Ronald Zion Roseboro shares how trauma, wrongful accusation, prison, and years of silence shaped his life and how he turned pain into purpose through healing, faith, and a shame-free path forward. You’ll hear why so many men stay trapped in silence, how sexual addiction often masks deeper wounds, and what it really takes to break free and rebuild. Watch this if: 👉 You want to understand the hidden trauma behind addiction and shame 👉 You’ve struggled with silence, pain, or emotional suppression 👉 You care about men’s mental health, healing, and restoration 👉 You want a raw, honest conversation about purpose after suffering You’ll walk away with: ✅ A deeper understanding of how childhood trauma affects adult behavior ✅ Insight into why men often hide pain instead of asking for help ✅ A clearer view of how sexual addiction can be rooted in unmet emotional needs ✅ A powerful reminder that healing begins when silence ends Watch on YouTube [https://youtu.be/rWUrvGNYyEk] or listen on your favorite podcast platform! Check the links on my bio! Connect with Alison: Instagram: @alisonanswers | @lagercounselingWebsite: LagerCounseling.comYouTube: Alison AnswersFacebook: Alison Lager Lcsw CasacPurchase Alison’s book: “The Wake Up Call”Alison Answers Facebook Group: Join HEREWomen of Excellence FB group: Join HERE⚠️ Crisis Resources: Lager Counseling Services Call: 516-221-2123 Text: (914) 363-0381 Wantagh: 3408 Park Ave. Wantagh, NY 11793 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (24/7, free, confidential) Call or text 988 | Visit 988lifeline.org

    1h 43m
  8. Apr 15

    Somatic Secrets to Free Your Body from Trauma | Chelsea Horton on Alison Answers Podcast

    Send us Fan Mail Chelsea Horton, somatic powerhouse and Healing Embodied founder, transformed burnout and family chaos into body-led freedom—shaking out shame, pole-dancing past judgment, and sniffing trauma lies with 10-minute emotion shifts that bypass talk-therapy traps. Alison (her eating disorder shake-free moment as proof) dives in for raw somatic demos, child protection truths, and play-powered hacks: fingertip neutrality to "cringe" outfit confidence. No BS—just energy-in-motion magic proving your body's the real healer. Watch if: 👉 Trauma, anxiety, or eating disorders trap you in head-stories, not body wisdom 👉 Sexual abuse shame whispers "your body betrayed you"—time to uncouple it 👉 Parents/kids: You're forcing "no's" or outfits, killing their self-trust early 👉 People-pleasing suffocates your silly—crave pole-dance-level freedom now You’ll gain: ✅ Somatic starter: "If this emotion borrowed your body, how would it move?" (Instant unstuck) ✅ Neutrality bridge: Rub fingertips first—rewire "enemy body" to living ally ✅ Kid-proofing: Normalize choice ("Your fault? Never") without forcing disclosure ✅ Inner bestie hack: Feel judgment discomfort—hold yourself, no contort needed Connect with Alison: Instagram: @alisonanswers | @lagercounselingWebsite: LagerCounseling.comYouTube: Alison AnswersFacebook: Alison Lager Lcsw CasacPurchase Alison’s book: “The Wake Up Call”Alison Answers Facebook Group: Join HEREWomen of Excellence FB group: Join HERE⚠️ Crisis Resources: Lager Counseling Services Call: 516-221-2123 Text: (914) 363-0381 Wantagh: 3408 Park Ave. Wantagh, NY 11793 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (24/7, free, confidential) Call or text 988 | Visit 988lifeline.org

    1h 19m
5
out of 5
66 Ratings

About

Alison Answers Podcast was created to be authentic and designed to call out the greatness in you. Host Alison has been successful in the mental health field for the last 30 years, offering a wealth a of experience. She is funny, real, dynamic, and driven. Alison's mission is to AWAKEN us all to the mediocrity that is wired into our brain from early childhood. She is personally offended by the mediocrity in our society and her mission is to stop the plague mentality of "just good enough." Join us as Alison and her industry leading guests discuss various cutting edge topics. This podcast offers a perfect blend of intelligence, humor and realness that is committed towards developing the excellence in you! The podcast is a perfect marriage between mental health and personal development!