MS and SEX Cara Griswold

Implicit bias is a fancy way of saying "having an attitude about something or someone because they are unfamiliar".  In this episode, you'll get a better grasp of the concept and we'll meet one of the researchers who helped develop the very first kink implicit bias scale for mental healthcare practitioners. Dr. Vanessa Brown talks about the kink bias that some patients face from mental healthcare workers. She also addresses the lack of support that those practitioners face as they strive to provide good mental healthcare. When we are confronted with the unknown, we automatically feel suspicious; this is a protective behavior that all creatures have developed over time. As humans, we get to choose if we want to use our substantial cerebrum to make a different choice. This research team came up with the first implicit bias scale to help these practitioners identify their biases around the topic of kink so that they can change their reactions if they so choose. 
Their scale will be publicly available soon and I'll post a link when it is. Until then, here is a helpful link to "Kink Guidelines: Clinical Best Practices". As a patient, you can see that you have a right to expect complete acceptance of your choices and as a practitioner, you'll find helpful information about how to assist your clients who practice or want to practice consensual kink. 
Here is a link to the Kink Aware Professionals list.
On October 28th at 5:00 PM Pacific Time, Dr. Brown, Lexi Gird, and other research team members will join us for a live Q&A to discuss their work. I encourage you to join us if you are a patient, a healthcare practitioner, a sex educator, or a researcher. 
This is going to be a fantastic panel! Here is the LINK, and the passcode is 219308.

First, I had to migrate to another podcast host so forgive any glitches as I learn the new platform. Ugh. We may not have a movie star body or the sex drive of a twenty-year-old but WE get to decide what sensuality and sexuality means to us in any given moment. This month on the podcast I talk about a tool we can use to quiet our minds and return to the sensations of the body. Focusing on your own experience of sensation is not the same as being selfish. It is a powerful tool that can ultimately lead to greater connection. This month I’m thinking a lot about empowerment. Chronic conditions can rob us of confidence and self- worth professionally, personally, and sexually. Those demons arise internally and externally. It’s hard to feel like a badass when fatigue has nailed you to the floor. It’s a struggle to feel sexy when you live in a culture that cringes at your presence or simply looks past you in a search for something else to focus on, some vision that doesn’t remind them of the frailty of life as a bent or struggling body does.
I’m bombarded with those internal and external negative messages too. I can only encourage you to seek out those who uplift you and see you not as a weakened body hobbling along but as a person with battle scars that have made you stronger, yet filled you with humility and compassion for those that don’t fit the “normal” mold. The fact is that normal is an irrelevant concept when it comes to bodies and sexuality. Alfred Kinsey conducted massive quantitative research in the mid 1900’s; one of his greatest contributions was proving that there is no “normal.” Their data concluded that up to 25% of people are at the “extreme ends” of sexual behavior. ((Extreme being anything that isn’t PIV Sex) One can’t just count the middle 50% as “normal” when there is another 50% that is one extreme or the other. Duh. So, flush that idea of normal down the toilet like it’s a memo from the Trump administration. Listen to this episode and join us on September 20th at 5 PM pacific time for a live Q&A. You can ask questions, share your thoughts and experiences about the “touching for interest” exercise, and we can try out the “three minute game”.

Here are a couple of resources to find Sex therapists or counselors, AASECT: https://www.aasect.org/referral-directory. NCSF KAP list: https://www.kapprofessionals.org/kap_directory/13575/kink-affirmative-therapist-4/ I used this book as a reference for much of the content: https://www.draveryclark.com/sensate-focus-sex-therapy-illustrated-manual/

You're getting a quicky from me this month. But, sometimes, that's just the thing. It allows us to stay connected and hopefully we'll both feel like our needs are being met. Let me know!

This is a juicy conversation about being honest with yourself and your partner. You'll learn how to dive into that fundamental question: "What IS sex?", and we talk about MS and sexual self-worth

An MS Diagnosis is given to the whole family, not just the individual. We all deal with it differently so hearing how others navigate the challenges gives us inspiration and hope. Ken and Joli experienced a "gap in intimacy" but they closed that gap and in this episode, you'll learn how.

We talk about the nature of relationships and rethink whether monogamy protects us from jealousy. And really, is the green-eyed monster inherently dangerous after all? Revisit jealousy. Rethink how you process this powerful emotion. Keeping relationships healthy is one of the best things you can do to keep your body healthy. Listen to this encore episode and get ready to talk to Joli and her husband Ken in July. He has MS and I KNOW this couple will have some powerful things to say about living life with a chronic condition.