Derate The Hate

Wilk Wilkinson

Bettering the world one attitude at a time. We did not create the hate, but together, we can 𝘿𝙚𝙧𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙃𝙖𝙩𝙚! In a world filled with divisiveness, and dominated by F.O.G. (Fear, Outrage & Grievance), it's time we find a better way to engage. That all starts with each of us as individuals. We cannot control all that we encounter within our day to day lives, or the environment in which we live, but we certainly have the ability and responsibility to control how we react to it. For me, it starts with gratitude and personal accountability. Take a listen and see if there is something here to help you in taking your part in turning down the hate. Welcome to the 𝘿𝙚𝙧𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙃𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙋𝙤𝙙𝙘𝙖𝙨𝙩...

  1. You're Listening, But Can They Tell? – DTH Episode 321 with Julia Minson

    3h ago

    You're Listening, But Can They Tell? – DTH Episode 321 with Julia Minson

    Send Wilk a text with your feedback! (incoming msgs only - I can't reply) Julia Minson has spent 25 years studying disagreement—not how to win arguments, but how people actually engage with views that conflict with their own. She’s a Harvard professor, a behavioral scientist, and the author of How to Disagree Better. This conversation gets into the heart of her research. One of the most useful ideas in the episode: being receptive in your own head doesn’t count. Your counterpart can’t read your mind. If you want them to feel heard, you have to signal it out loud—with specific language, in real time. Julia’s HEAR framework (Hedging, Emphasizing agreement, Acknowledging, Reframing) gives you an actual tool to do that. We also get into why asking “why do you believe that” changes a conversation more than almost anything else—and why so much of the enmity in our society isn’t really about what people believe, but about what we assume their beliefs say about them. If you’ve ever walked away from a hard conversation feeling like the other person wasn’t really listening—or wondering if you were—this episode is worth your time. Julia’s book is How to Disagree Better, and you can find her at disagreeingbetter.com. Learn more about and connect with Julia Minson in the full show notes for this episode at www.DeratetheHate.com.  The world is a better place if we are better people. Be grateful for all you’ve got. Make every day the day that you want it to be! Please follow the DTH podcast on: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter(X) ,  YouTube,  Substack  Subscribe to us wherever you enjoy your audio or from our site. Please leave us a rating and feedback on Apple podcasts or other platforms. You can share your thoughts or request Wilk for a speaking engagement on our contact page: DerateTheHate.com/Contact The Derate The Hate podcast is proudly produced in collaboration with Braver Angels — America’s largest grassroots, cross-partisan organization working toward civic renewal and bridging partisan divides. Learn more: BraverAngels.org Welcome to the Derate The Hate Podcast! *The views expressed by Wilk, his guest hosts &/or guests on the Derate The Hate podcast are their own and should not be attributed to any organization they may otherwise be affiliated with.

    45 min
  2. What Happens When Immigration's Biggest Opponents Actually Listen to Each Other? – DTH Bonus Episode with Jim Robb and Diego Sanchez

    2d ago ·  Bonus

    What Happens When Immigration's Biggest Opponents Actually Listen to Each Other? – DTH Bonus Episode with Jim Robb and Diego Sanchez

    Send Wilk a text with your feedback! (incoming msgs only - I can't reply) Diego Sanchez grew up undocumented in the United States. Jim Robb spent nearly thirty years fighting for immigration restrictions. They sat down at the same table, and discovered something neither of them fully expected: they could trust each other. This bonus episode drops ahead of the 2026 Braver Angels National Convention in Philadelphia—where Diego and Jim are serving as co-chairs. The Citizens Commission on Immigration, which grew out of the 2024 Braver Angels convention, is the driving force behind their story. It's a first-of-its-kind effort: bringing together longtime adversaries from across the immigration debate to find areas of common ground serious enough to actually matter.  The conversation covers how this commission came together, what changed when people who'd been shouting past each other finally started listening, and why "common ground" doesn't mean "mushy middle." Jim and Diego still disagree on plenty. But they've figured out how to disagree without writing each other off—and that shift is exactly what the commission is trying to scale.  If you're heading to the Braver Angels National Convention this week, or if you've written off immigration as a topic too toxic to touch, this one's for you. Learn more at braverangels.org/citizens-commission-on-immigration. The world is a better place if we are better people. Be grateful for all you’ve got. Make every day the day that you want it to be! Please follow the DTH podcast on: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter(X) ,  YouTube,  Substack  Subscribe to us wherever you enjoy your audio or from our site. Please leave us a rating and feedback on Apple podcasts or other platforms. You can share your thoughts or request Wilk for a speaking engagement on our contact page: DerateTheHate.com/Contact The Derate The Hate podcast is proudly produced in collaboration with Braver Angels — America’s largest grassroots, cross-partisan organization working toward civic renewal and bridging partisan divides. Learn more: BraverAngels.org Welcome to the Derate The Hate Podcast! *The views expressed by Wilk, his guest hosts &/or guests on the Derate The Hate podcast are their own and should not be attributed to any organization they may otherwise be affiliated with.

    41 min
  3. From Argument to Action: Why Deliberation Changes Everything – DTH Episode 320 with Martin Carcasson

    Jun 17

    From Argument to Action: Why Deliberation Changes Everything – DTH Episode 320 with Martin Carcasson

    Send Wilk a text with your feedback! (incoming msgs only - I can't reply) What if the problem isn't the people on the other side — what if the problem is just hard? Martin Carcasson has spent 20 years building deliberative processes in Northern Colorado that help communities move from argument to action. The Center for Public Deliberation he founded at CSU has run over 600 community meetings, working with local governments, schools, and nonprofits on everything from housing to elder care. In this conversation, Martin breaks down the critical difference between debate and deliberation — and why one of those leads to insight while the other leads to action. He also makes a distinction that cuts right to the heart of what makes our politics so dysfunctional: we've been treating wicked problems like they're caused by wicked people. They're not. And the moment you see that clearly, everything about how you approach a problem changes. Martin also shares how he's built a model — using trained student facilitators — that could be replicated in communities across the country, and how his work connects to Braver Angels' citizen-led solutions initiative and the newly revamped Civic Scholars Council. If you believe the solutions to our biggest problems are going to come from communities, not from Washington, this conversation is for you.  Learn more and connect with Martin Carcasson in the full show notes for this episode at www.DerateTheHate.com. The world is a better place if we are better people. Be grateful for all you’ve got. Make every day the day that you want it to be! Please follow the DTH podcast on: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter(X) ,  YouTube,  Substack  Subscribe to us wherever you enjoy your audio or from our site. Please leave us a rating and feedback on Apple podcasts or other platforms. You can share your thoughts or request Wilk for a speaking engagement on our contact page: DerateTheHate.com/Contact The Derate The Hate podcast is proudly produced in collaboration with Braver Angels — America’s largest grassroots, cross-partisan organization working toward civic renewal and bridging partisan divides. Learn more: BraverAngels.org Welcome to the Derate The Hate Podcast! *The views expressed by Wilk, his guest hosts &/or guests on the Derate The Hate podcast are their own and should not be attributed to any organization they may otherwise be affiliated with.

    40 min
  4. Killed to Order: The Road from Dehumanization to Expendable – DTH Episode 319 with Jan Jekielek

    Jun 10

    Killed to Order: The Road from Dehumanization to Expendable – DTH Episode 319 with Jan Jekielek

    Send Wilk a text with your feedback! (incoming msgs only - I can't reply) Jan Jekielek spent years as a human rights worker before becoming a journalist — and the story he couldn't stop following eventually became Killed to Order, a New York Times bestselling investigation into China's forced organ harvesting industry. In this conversation, Jan and Wilk focus on a question at the center of both the book and the show: what does dehumanization actually produce when it's allowed to run all the way to its logical end?  Jan explains how the Chinese Communist Party has refined what he calls a "black class" system over decades — a machinery of mass propaganda designed to strip targeted groups of their humanity in the public mind, making atrocity not just possible but rational-seeming within the regime's logic. Falun Gong practitioners, who numbered in the tens of millions and practiced truthfulness, compassion, and forbearance, became the primary target — and eventually the primary supply for an organ harvesting system that operates like an industry.  One detail from this conversation will stay with you: in China, a wealthy transplant recipient can be matched with a compatible organ in roughly two weeks. In the United States, the wait is months to years. The difference is what powers that system. Jan walks through exactly how it works — and what the evidence looks like after two decades of documentation.  This isn't a political episode. It's a human one. Find the book at KilledtoOrder.com and Jan's long-form show at The Epoch Times. The world is a better place if we are better people. Be grateful for all you’ve got. Make every day the day that you want it to be! Please follow the DTH podcast on: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter(X) ,  YouTube,  Substack  Subscribe to us wherever you enjoy your audio or from our site. Please leave us a rating and feedback on Apple podcasts or other platforms. You can share your thoughts or request Wilk for a speaking engagement on our contact page: DerateTheHate.com/Contact The Derate The Hate podcast is proudly produced in collaboration with Braver Angels — America’s largest grassroots, cross-partisan organization working toward civic renewal and bridging partisan divides. Learn more: BraverAngels.org Welcome to the Derate The Hate Podcast! *The views expressed by Wilk, his guest hosts &/or guests on the Derate The Hate podcast are their own and should not be attributed to any organization they may otherwise be affiliated with.

    41 min
  5. We Were Given a Republic – But Can We Keep It? – DTH Episode 318 with Peter Calfee and Kevin Dolan

    Jun 3

    We Were Given a Republic – But Can We Keep It? – DTH Episode 318 with Peter Calfee and Kevin Dolan

    Send Wilk a text with your feedback! (incoming msgs only - I can't reply) Kevin Dolan and Peter Calfee met at a Veterans Day luncheon in 2022 and spent three years writing Hijacked: Our Republic — a book built around one essential question: what does it take to keep what the founders built? In this conversation, Kevin and Peter walk through the six foundational pillars they believe hold a republic together — critical thinking, education, faith and values, history, political systems, and economics — and explain how each one has been quietly compromised. The word "hijacked" isn't hyperbole. It's a diagnosis. One exchange stands out: Kevin's explanation of why two people can look at the same set of facts, weigh them differently, and reach completely different conclusions — and why that's actually how it's supposed to work. The problem isn't disagreement. The problem is that we've stopped being interested in each other. If you want to understand the root causes behind the noise — and think seriously about what restoring the social contract actually requires — this episode is worth your time. Find the book at hijackedourrepublic.com. The world is a better place if we are better people. Be grateful for all you’ve got. Make every day the day that you want it to be! Please follow the DTH podcast on: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter(X) ,  YouTube,  Substack  Subscribe to us wherever you enjoy your audio or from our site. Please leave us a rating and feedback on Apple podcasts or other platforms. You can share your thoughts or request Wilk for a speaking engagement on our contact page: DerateTheHate.com/Contact The Derate The Hate podcast is proudly produced in collaboration with Braver Angels — America’s largest grassroots, cross-partisan organization working toward civic renewal and bridging partisan divides. Learn more: BraverAngels.org Welcome to the Derate The Hate Podcast! *The views expressed by Wilk, his guest hosts &/or guests on the Derate The Hate podcast are their own and should not be attributed to any organization they may otherwise be affiliated with.

    42 min
  6. Before You Reform Anything, You Have To Start Listening – DTH Episode 317 with Brian Vogt

    May 27

    Before You Reform Anything, You Have To Start Listening – DTH Episode 317 with Brian Vogt

    Send Wilk a text with your feedback! (incoming msgs only - I can't reply) Brian Vogt spent 20-plus years strengthening democracy around the world. Then he came home—and started listening. His Democracy Listening Tour of Red America is a qualitative research project with a simple but radical premise: before you can reform anything, you have to understand what people actually believe and why. In this conversation, Brian and Wilk dig into what “democracy” really means to everyday Americans, why that word lands so differently depending on who’s hearing it, and what the reform community gets wrong by skipping the listening step altogether. One story stands out: a Trump-voting Iraq veteran and community leader in Kentucky who defined democracy as equality—then shared a workplace experience that made him feel like anything but an equal. It’s the kind of story that doesn’t make headlines but shapes how millions of people relate to political institutions. If you believe that lasting change requires all voices at the table, this episode is for you.  Learn more about and connect with Brian Vogt by getting the full show notes for this episode at www.DerateTheHate.com.  The world is a better place if we are better people. Be grateful for all you’ve got. Make every day the day that you want it to be! Please follow the DTH podcast on: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter(X) ,  YouTube,  Substack  Subscribe to us wherever you enjoy your audio or from our site. Please leave us a rating and feedback on Apple podcasts or other platforms. You can share your thoughts or request Wilk for a speaking engagement on our contact page: DerateTheHate.com/Contact The Derate The Hate podcast is proudly produced in collaboration with Braver Angels — America’s largest grassroots, cross-partisan organization working toward civic renewal and bridging partisan divides. Learn more: BraverAngels.org Welcome to the Derate The Hate Podcast! *The views expressed by Wilk, his guest hosts &/or guests on the Derate The Hate podcast are their own and should not be attributed to any organization they may otherwise be affiliated with.

    39 min
  7. Conversation Does Not Equal Complicity – DTH Episode 316 with Michael Lee

    May 20

    Conversation Does Not Equal Complicity – DTH Episode 316 with Michael Lee

    Send Wilk a text with your feedback! (incoming msgs only - I can't reply) Michael Lee is a professor of communication and the director of the Civility Initiative at the College of Charleston. He came to civility work through competitive debate—and found that debate, at its best, is deeply connective and dialogic. In this conversation, Michael and Wilk explore what’s really going on when people avoid disagreement, and why that silence is often more damaging than conflict.  They dig into the nervous system roots of fight, flight, freeze, and fawn—and how those responses show up in everyday conversations, especially online. Michael makes a sharp distinction between healthy stress and distress, arguing that real growth requires exposure to discomfort, not protection from it.  One of the episode’s most powerful ideas: people confuse conversation with complicity. Michael unpacks why that conflation is so common and what tools—perspective-taking, norm-setting, reciprocity—can help us move past it. And he reminds us that the stranger you’re afraid to talk to is more likely to become a friend than an adversary.  If you’ve ever felt like civility is code for “stay quiet,” this conversation is for you. Learn more about and connect with Michael Lee by getting the full show notes for this episode at www.DerateTheHate.com.  The world is a better place if we are better people. Be grateful for all you’ve got. Make every day the day that you want it to be! Please follow the DTH podcast on: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter(X) ,  YouTube,  Substack  Subscribe to us wherever you enjoy your audio or from our site. Please leave us a rating and feedback on Apple podcasts or other platforms. You can share your thoughts or request Wilk for a speaking engagement on our contact page: DerateTheHate.com/Contact The Derate The Hate podcast is proudly produced in collaboration with Braver Angels — America’s largest grassroots, cross-partisan organization working toward civic renewal and bridging partisan divides. Learn more: BraverAngels.org Welcome to the Derate The Hate Podcast! *The views expressed by Wilk, his guest hosts &/or guests on the Derate The Hate podcast are their own and should not be attributed to any organization they may otherwise be affiliated with.

    43 min
  8. Gun Rights and Gun Safety Don't Have to Be Enemies – DTH Episode 315 with Dr. Michael Siegel

    May 13

    Gun Rights and Gun Safety Don't Have to Be Enemies – DTH Episode 315 with Dr. Michael Siegel

    Send Wilk a text with your feedback! (incoming msgs only - I can't reply) What happens when a gun violence prevention researcher walks into a gun shop, sits down with the owner, and actually listens? For Dr. Michael Siegel, it changed everything. In this episode, Wilk sits down with Dr. Mike Siegel to talk about his Bridging the Divide on Firearm Policy project — a three-year effort that brought together 23 gun owners and non-gun owners from across the country to find real common ground on gun policy. The result isn't a watered-down compromise. It's a 67-page bipartisan policy framework that both gun rights advocates and gun violence prevention leaders helped write. They dig into what it actually takes to bridge a divide this charged: the role of respect, the power of listening, and the surprising policy agreements that emerged when people stopped talking past each other and started talking to each other. If you care about reducing gun violence — or protecting constitutional rights — or both — this one's worth your time. Learn more about the Bridging the Divide on Firearm Policy and connect with Dr. Michael Siegel by getting the full show notes for this episode at www.DerateTheHate.com.  The world is a better place if we are better people. Be grateful for all you’ve got. Make every day the day that you want it to be! Please follow the DTH podcast on: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter(X) ,  YouTube,  Substack  Subscribe to us wherever you enjoy your audio or from our site. Please leave us a rating and feedback on Apple podcasts or other platforms. You can share your thoughts or request Wilk for a speaking engagement on our contact page: DerateTheHate.com/Contact The Derate The Hate podcast is proudly produced in collaboration with Braver Angels — America’s largest grassroots, cross-partisan organization working toward civic renewal and bridging partisan divides. Learn more: BraverAngels.org Welcome to the Derate The Hate Podcast! *The views expressed by Wilk, his guest hosts &/or guests on the Derate The Hate podcast are their own and should not be attributed to any organization they may otherwise be affiliated with.

    41 min
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4.8
out of 5
43 Ratings

About

Bettering the world one attitude at a time. We did not create the hate, but together, we can 𝘿𝙚𝙧𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙃𝙖𝙩𝙚! In a world filled with divisiveness, and dominated by F.O.G. (Fear, Outrage & Grievance), it's time we find a better way to engage. That all starts with each of us as individuals. We cannot control all that we encounter within our day to day lives, or the environment in which we live, but we certainly have the ability and responsibility to control how we react to it. For me, it starts with gratitude and personal accountability. Take a listen and see if there is something here to help you in taking your part in turning down the hate. Welcome to the 𝘿𝙚𝙧𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙃𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙋𝙤𝙙𝙘𝙖𝙨𝙩...

Information

  • Creator
    Wilk Wilkinson
  • Years Active
    2020 - 2026
  • Episodes
    335
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Derate The Hate
  • Show Website
    Derate The Hate

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