Inside The Consulting Room - Understanding the Child Behind the Behaviour

Kim Lee

I am a Chid & Adolescent Psychotherapist. The podcast are educational and orientated towards parents. We cover a wide range of sometimes, tricky subjects, in the hope of reassuring parents that no matter how hard things may seem, there are things you can do. Thank you. Kim

  1. Oct 12

    When Separated Parents Turn Choice Into Pressure

    Send us Fan Mail “Where do you want to stay this weekend?” can sound caring, but to a child caught between separated parents it can feel like being asked who to betray. I’m Kim Lee, a child and adolescent psychotherapist, and I’m exploring the quiet, unspoken wish many children hold: please don’t make me choose. I break down the crucial difference between giving children a voice and making them responsible for adult decisions in separation, divorce, and child custody arrangements. We look at why kids may give different answers in different homes, why a shrug or silence can be self-protection, and why strong statements like “I don’t want to see my dad” must be heard carefully with real curiosity and safeguarding in mind. I also reflect on how family court dynamics, CAFCASS involvement, and adult “rights” language can pull focus away from the child’s needs under the Children Act. You’ll hear what handovers can represent emotionally, why children get pushed into messenger roles, and how even “neutral” questions about the other house can make ordinary conversation feel unsafe. I share simple, grounded language that keeps the child out of the adult conflict while still taking their feelings seriously, so co-parenting becomes less about winning time and more about protecting wellbeing. If this resonates, subscribe, share with a co-parent or professional who needs it, and leave a review so more families can find these conversations. What’s one question you’ve heard that accidentally puts a child in the middle?

  2. Oct 6

    Notice Me Before I Shout

    Send us Fan Mail Shouting rarely starts at shouting. We’re talking about the moment before the volume rises, when a child makes a small, easily missed bid for connection and learns, over time, that quiet communication doesn’t work at home. Kim Lee, child and adolescent psychotherapist, opens this series with a clear theme: children need to feel noticed in the minds of the adults who care for them, not only responded to when things get loud. We unpack a pattern many families recognize: a child asks, waits, asks again, interrupts, then escalates, and everyone ends up irritated. From the parent side, it can look like impatience or “making a fuss.” From the child side, it can feel like being forgotten until they force attention. Kim challenges the loaded phrase “attention seeking” and offers a more useful frame for parenting and child behavior: attention needing. That shift keeps curiosity alive, supports emotional regulation, and helps you set boundaries while still staying connected. You’ll also hear about being “held in mind,” why some children test whether an adult still remembers or notices them, and why the quiet, “easy” child can be just as in need of attention as the one who shouts. We close with practical tools you can use today: responding to smaller bids, making your return specific, and doing quick repairs when you forget. If you found this helpful, subscribe, share it with a parent who needs it, and leave a review with the one line you want to remember when the house gets loud.

  3. Oct 4

    Echoes

    Send us Fan Mail Echoes don’t need a room to bounce around in. Sometimes they live in your head, repeating the same doubt, the same regret, the same “I’m fine” that doesn’t quite hold up under pressure. We lean into that uncomfortable space where you can feel the past still active in the present, and we ask the questions that people usually avoid: how did I get so far behind, why did I leave so fast, and why do I say the things I do? From there, we land on something both relieving and brutal: the truth is simple, but it isn’t always easy to accept. We talk about rumination, the inner critic, and the difference between self-reflection and self-punishment. If you care about mental health, personal growth, and better communication in relationships, this is the kind of short listen that can follow you around all day in a good way. Then the lens widens. The echoes don’t only come from inside you, they come from other mouths too. We dig into social narrative, reputation, and what happens when other people tell a different story than the one you’ve been telling yourself. That’s where accountability gets real: you can’t control every version of you that exists out there, but you can choose how you respond. We close with a gut-punch image of self-sabotage: thinking you hold all the cards while stacking the deck against yourself. If any of this hits close to home, listen, share it with someone who’s been living with echoes, and leave a review. What’s the echo you’re ready to stop replaying?

  4. Sep 26

    When Panic Hits

    Send us Fan Mail Panic does not always announce itself with a clean storyline. Sometimes it hits like lightning, you do not know where to stand, your body shakes, your heart races, and your mind floods with faces that will not hold still. We start there, in the raw physiology of stress and trauma response, and stay honest about what it feels like when the ground shifts under you.  From that chaos, we follow the next instinctive move: watch, wait, keep your distance. We talk about silence as a survival strategy, boundaries as protection, and the discipline of refusing to feed the blame game. One of the sharpest moments is the vow to “never say the name” which captures what many people learn after toxic relationships, emotional manipulation, or public conflict: naming can sometimes tether you to the very thing you are trying to escape. We explore how distance can be an act of dignity, not avoidance, and how time can restore perspective when your nervous system is still on high alert.  Then the metaphor that lingers: the gift wrap looks impressive, assembled with pride, but when you open it there is nothing inside. We connect that image to empty promises, performative change, and relationships that lean on appearances instead of care. The closing arc turns toward emotional healing and recovery, where each day brings more clarity, the damage starts to repair, and truth enters quietly through consistent words and actions from someone who stays by your side.  If you have been rebuilding self trust, practicing boundaries, or trying to make sense of a hollow kind of “love,” this conversation is for you. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs it, leave a review, and tell us: what helped you get free?

About

I am a Chid & Adolescent Psychotherapist. The podcast are educational and orientated towards parents. We cover a wide range of sometimes, tricky subjects, in the hope of reassuring parents that no matter how hard things may seem, there are things you can do. Thank you. Kim

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