having question and answer, having emotions and feelings empty, being mad and furious. understanding acceptance and feeling unfair. questions and answers, emotions and empty, being mad and furious. I think human always ever hit this one button, starting from one question to lead with another one with tears spilling down, with fire burning up their soul. giving question that no one knows how to answer. it starts with "why?" it's always been why. why me? "why do I have to get through this?" yet, no one gives an answer. or no answer could satisfy you. so you begin to even madder. to whom you don't know. you scream louder, to whom you don't know. or you know, maybe you know. it's always the closest one, getting the words that you didn't mean to hurt them. but it did anyway. but you didn't know that. or you pretend to not noticing that. you still mad. the raging emotion that you in you, craving for affection that no soul could offer. your eyes start to blinded by the perfection that did not exist on earth. you beg to have one. things that did not exist. you are mad, mad, mad, mad. to god, to whoever you can in this universe, blaming even the smallest particle that you beg to differ you don't want to be born as you. "why it has to be me?" no hides the answer, no one hides it from you. no one lives to answer the question. but one life to carry the question. wandering here and there, pretending that maybe in one beautiful day they will find the answer. Acceptance I don't even know what that word even supposed to mean. maybe no one knows. but I guess, it start with you stop on being mad. it isn't ugly. no emotions are ugly. they are all beautiful, but if it start ruining you, stop ruining yourself. i also didn't know how, like how? but, maybe with the song that makes your face swollen in the morning because you keep crying while listening it las night or the movies where you wish you were live in it, or It could be the hugs that you've always rejected, thinking you don't deserve one. stop being mad. please, stop being mad. it's okay, that's okay. it is what is is, no one knows no one hides it from you so please, be peace make a peace for yourself you deserve it because no one owns it, the things that you want what was it again? was it a lover? a family? a big castle? or just a pretty face? trust me, no one owns it. but if you insist there are people who own it. trust me. you don't want to exchange it with things you hold in your hands. unfair, right? i know, but did we have to act surprised here? like, this is life. no one is as capitalistic as life is. no companies are bigger than the life itself. your clothes, your bed, your favorite song, you paid that. even your emotion to be sad, to be mad, that was never for free. you've always paid for it. with things that you carry around, it could be bargaining with human, with your mp3 player, with your favorite novel, with anything. that's just life, tricky and twisted. unfair and sicked.
