Roshni is a trauma-informed, embodied sexuality coach who helps women andnon-binary vulva owners connect to their bodies and find their sexualpleasure, power and wildness.She is a Certified Sex, Love and Relationships coach, a Certified FemaleSexuality coach, a Certified Male Sexuality coach and a Certified Jade Eggcoach. She has completed a year-long (650+ hour) training in the Sex, Love andRelationships Certification with Layla Martin’s VITA (Vital Integrated TantricApproach) Institute. She is currently training in Somatic Experiencing® (a 3-year Practitioner Training in a body-oriented therapeutic model that helpsheal trauma). When she is not coaching or creating content, you can find her drawing nakedwomen and reptiles, communicating with and savouring the life force thatemanates from trees, grass and natural bodies of water… and enjoyingquality dark chocolate. This episode we chat about: 🌈Societal shame surrounding sexual practices across gender expression and orientations 🌈The journey towards sexual empowerment and healing 🌈Roshni’s personal story of growing up in a conservative environment and finding her path to becoming a sexuality coach 🌈The importance of trauma-informed care, consent, and exploring one's sexuality with curiosity and without shame Episode Resources www.daliakinsey.com Decolonizing Wellness: A QTBIPOC-Centered Guide to Escape the Diet Trap, Heal Your Self-Image, and Achieve Body Liberation Connect with Roshni roshni@roshni.live https://www.roshni.live/free-gift Episode edited and produced by Unapologetic Amplified This transcript was generated with the help of AI. Thank you to our clients for supporting us as we strive to improve accessibility and pay equitable wages for things like human transcription. Dalia Kinsey: Hello everyone. Welcome back to another episode of Body Liberation for All. I'm excited to bring to you a guest who can help us tackle a really important topic in all communities, but one that tends to be a little more. of a traumatic area in LGBTQIA-plus communities, and that is sexuality. There's so much shame tied up in a lot of sexual practices across the board, even if they're considered mainstream and kind of vanilla. But if you happen to be a queer person, depending on where you're born and what community you're born into, there's probably even more shame related to anything that has to do with an encounter with someone of the same gender or someone who is gender nonconforming. So, I'm excited to have Roshni here. Roshni is a trauma-informed embodied sexuality coach who helps women and non-binary vulva owners connect to their bodies and find their sexual pleasure, power, and wildness. Welcome to the show, Roshni. Roshni Dominic: I'm so happy to be here with you. Dalia Kinsey: And I love looking at your website, one, thanks for including people who have vulvas who do not identify as female. And two, I see the metaphor between food and orgasmic pleasure throughout the website, which resonates with me because I want for people to be having more pleasure across the board because it's so much easier to pursue habits that give you a payoff in real time instead of putting it off. But so many people are afraid of pleasure because pleasure in general was seen as a bad thing or taboo thing. And even when it comes to food. Some people are uncomfortable having a very pleasurable, maybe orgasmic experience with food. But at the same time, everybody knows that correlation can be there. Yes, for sure. Everyone needs to look at the website so you can see the visuals that I'm talking about. Roshni Dominic: I love that. Dalia Kinsey: Go ahead. Oh, sorry. Didn't mean to cut you off. So, because you are a person of color, you probably already have an experience with sexuality that a lot of us can relate to, even though you're mostly a straight person. Can you tell me a little bit about how you came to be sexually powerful, even though you came from a patriarchal upbringing, like most of us are in patriarchal cultures all over the planet. There's almost no matriarchal representation on the planet right now. How did you get to where you are? Roshni Dominic: Yeah, so, um, firstly, I love that you noticed the food analogy throughout the website and how, you know, it's pleasures, pleasure, right? Food, sexuality, it's all, it's all connected. Um, so I love that you noticed that and just coming to answer your question about my upbringing and how I, how I became a sexuality coach. So, yeah, I mean, my upbringing was, um, it's, it's a triple conservative upbringing. So, uh, I was born in Bahrain, which is in the Middle East, which is right next to Saudi Arabia. So, Bahrain is right next to Saudi Arabia. And then I was born in this, um, conservative Indian families with a conservative Indian upbringing. And then lastly, I also was raised Catholic. So, I went to Catholic primary school as well in Bahrain. So, um, so it's. It's, it's not what you would call an environment conducive to becoming a sex coach. Um, and, uh, you know, it's, uh, I remember like in my primary school, they actually cut out the pages in the science book, which had the reproductive system in it. So, but we all found out anyway, because my cousin got the book that didn't have the pages cut out. And she was like, oh my God, look at this. And we're like, why is that what they're hiding from us? So anyway, um. But you know what? I'm privileged in that I always, I had this deep connection with my sexuality, like it emerged. I mean, I was very, um, scared of my sexuality, understandably, right, in the environment that I grew up in, but also, I had this deep connection that was emerging, and I'm very privileged that my body was, um, in a place where it wanted to heal, starting around 10 years ago, where I really dove into my Sexual journey, um, and sexual healing and delving more into pleasure. And yeah, so I'm, I'm privileged that my body felt safe enough to heal, um, and felt safe enough to follow those breadcrumbs. Um, that, you know, the breadcrumbs where my body was like, oh, go to this trauma specialist to do this course. Um, you know, explore this, uh, program and, um, you know, and then. And everything that I explored, I'm just really grateful and privileged that my body felt safe enough to do that. Because if it didn't feel safe enough, it was not going to happen, right? So, yeah, that was, that was how I became a sex coach. I just followed the breadcrumbs and, uh, found that this was really, really fulfilling and, um, purposeful and meaningful for me. Dalia Kinsey: Did you simultaneously feel like you were starting to reclaim or fully own your sexuality as you were doing the training or did that healing work come first? Roshni Dominic: I would say the training came first. Um, and then the healing came after that because the training came first, you know, I was delving into, um, Jade egg and Yoni eggs, as they call them, so Taoist methodology, and then some Tantric as well, um, and then just general, like, orgasmic stuff. So, there was all that and I came into it with this mainstream mindset of, um, you know, possibly influenced by Hollywood and things like that. Which is just one facet of what sex can be like, right? So, as I did this training, I discovered more things, which I was like, Hmm, what if there's more? And then the healing happened, the healing of, shall we say the overlay that society kind of overlays over sexuality and says this is how you should have sex, and this is who you should have it with and how many times per day and how frequently and these are the sex practices you're supposed to do and that's it, nothing else, anything outside is weird or forbidden, right? So that's where the healing came in is actually My sexuality is mine and it's not for somebody else or a society to tell me what to do and how to express it. Dalia Kinsey: Yeah, that's a powerful statement in itself that it is yours and no one else should be telling you how to express it I know that can feel really tricky if you have training in a religious context a social context, and a familial context that says everybody gets to tell you how to express your sexuality, especially if you're assigned female at birth. Everybody has something to say about how you express your sexuality. Your sexuality. So, to get to a point where you fully understand your body as well that you get to decide. That sounds like it could take a while for a lot of us to get there. Roshni Dominic: Yes, it's still, I'm still on my journey with that to be honest. Still on my, it's not that I've reached the perfect Nirvana of this or anything like that. journey. Dalia Kinsey: Yeah. You mentioned you had to feel safe enough in your body to do this work and you're also trauma-informed. And I know sometimes people hear the word trauma and they're thinking something again, maybe influenced by Hollywood. They're thinking of a certain type of PTSD, or it had to be a massive event and they feel like maybe there are some things they don't feel comfortable discussing or feeling or thinking about, but they don't recognize that you could have trauma responses, even if you've never been through anything that you maybe would define as trauma. How do you define trauma in the work that you're doing? And tell me a little bit more about why feeling safe in your body is a prerequisite for this work. Roshni Dominic: Yeah. So, um, I would define trauma as something that, I mean, there's many definitions of it, but one that really resonates with me is too much too fast. So, something that was very overwhelming, that one could not, that one didn't have someone who was safe enough with them to help them through it, to support them through it, um, and another definition is too, too little for too long. So, so, you know, if you, if one didn't get that, um, the connection with the primary caregiver and the support and love of the primary caregiver, and that wa
