The Communicate & Connect Podcast for Military Relationships

Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky: Military Marriage Counselor and Educator

In The Communicate and Connect Podcast for Military Relationships, marriage counselor Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky explains relationship science and discusses educational tips for improving your relationship and navigating military family life.

  1. 1d ago

    Introvert Married to an Extrovert? Here's What Works.

    Have you ever looked at your partner and wondered, "How did we end up so completely different?" In this episode, we are pulling back the rug on the typical introvert-extrovert clash. We'll explore why this isn't actually a personality flaw or a sign of incompatibility, but a beautiful, natural difference in how your nervous systems get regulated. You'll learn how to stop tracking who "wins" the argument and start creating win-win compromises, establishing healthy time apart, and injecting intentional structure into your relationship so that both of your attachment needs feel honored. >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  Read the show notes for this episode here.    Free Relationship Pattern Assessment Are you having the same conversation over and over? Many couples assume they have a communication problem when they're actually stuck in a relationship pattern that keeps creating the same conflict. Take the free Relationship Pattern Assessment to identify the pattern that may be keeping you disconnected and learn what to focus on next. 👉 https://pages.communicateandconnect.com/relationship-quiz

    12 min

  2. Jun 1

    Loneliness in Relationships - Why Stress, Busyness, and Disconnection Keep Us Feeling Alone with Dr. Sylvia Kalicinski

    Have you ever sat right next to your partner on the couch, completely silent, and realized you felt entirely alone? It is a heartbreaking sensation, but I want you to take a deep breath: you are not alone in this experience, and it doesn't mean your relationship is broken. This is really common, especially in military families where the pressure to keep everything looking fine is so high. In this episode, I sit down with the wonderful Dr. Sylvia Kalicinski, a licensed marriage and family therapist and author of Lonely AF: A Therapist's No BS Guide to Feeling Less Alone. Together, we explore how our fast-paced lives, childhood emotional survival strategies, and systemic pressures keep us trapped in an artificial "busyness" just to avoid the painful ache of loneliness. >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  Read the show notes for this episode here.    Free Relationship Pattern Assessment Are you having the same conversation over and over? Many couples assume they have a communication problem when they're actually stuck in a relationship pattern that keeps creating the same conflict. Take the free Relationship Pattern Assessment to identify the pattern that may be keeping you disconnected and learn what to focus on next. 👉 https://pages.communicateandconnect.com/relationship-quiz

    25 min

  3. May 18

    79: Opposites Attract—Until They Don't. What Your Differences Are Really About

    Being different is so exciting—until it isn't. At first, it feels like a beautiful balance. One of you plans everything, and the other just goes with the flow. It evens you out. But over time, those exact same qualities can start to feel irritating, exhausting, or like you're constantly missing each other. If you've ever wondered why things feel so hard when you're both truly good people who love each other, you are definitely not alone. In this episode, we are pulling back the curtain on why we are drawn to our opposites and what those differences are actually trying to tell us when life gets stressful. >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  Read the show notes for this episode here.    Free Relationship Pattern Assessment Are you having the same conversation over and over? Many couples assume they have a communication problem when they're actually stuck in a relationship pattern that keeps creating the same conflict. Take the free Relationship Pattern Assessment to identify the pattern that may be keeping you disconnected and learn what to focus on next. 👉 https://pages.communicateandconnect.com/relationship-quiz

    6 min

  4. May 4

    78: How Understanding Your Dreams Can Support Healing in Military Relationships with Ara Trembly

    Have you ever woken up from a vivid dream and wondered, "What was that all about?"  We often dismiss our dreams as "just dreams," but what if they were actually a window into the parts of ourselves we aren't yet seeing? In this episode, Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky sits down with psychotherapist Ara Trembley to explore how paying attention to your dreams can reveal deep emotional patterns, solve life problems, and even support healing in military relationships. >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  Read the show notes for this episode here.    Free Relationship Pattern Assessment Are you having the same conversation over and over? Many couples assume they have a communication problem when they're actually stuck in a relationship pattern that keeps creating the same conflict. Take the free Relationship Pattern Assessment to identify the pattern that may be keeping you disconnected and learn what to focus on next. 👉 https://pages.communicateandconnect.com/relationship-quiz

    14 min

  5. Apr 20

    77: The Real Reason Small Things Turn Into Big Fights

    If you've ever felt like you're having the same argument over and over again—just in different "costumes"—you are definitely not alone. Whether it's the laundry, a misinterpreted text, or the way the dishwasher is loaded, these small triggers often spiral into big explosions. In this episode, I'm walking you through why these "small things" feel so heavy and how to look beneath the surface to find the real emotional need that's crying out to be heard. In this episode, you'll learn: Why small triggers lead to huge explosions. The story of the socks and dishes. The Iceberg Metaphor: Surface topics vs. Emotional meaning. Attachment Fears: Why "forgetting" feels like "not caring." Breaking the Cycle: Why surface fixes don't last. Journal Exercise: Identifying the story you tell yourself. Awareness is the first step to change.   >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  Read the show notes for this episode here.    Free Relationship Pattern Assessment Are you having the same conversation over and over? Many couples assume they have a communication problem when they're actually stuck in a relationship pattern that keeps creating the same conflict. Take the free Relationship Pattern Assessment to identify the pattern that may be keeping you disconnected and learn what to focus on next. 👉 https://pages.communicateandconnect.com/relationship-quiz

    9 min

  6. Apr 6

    76: The Couples Communication Skills That Change Everything with Raffi Bilek

    Have you ever felt like you and your partner are speaking two completely different languages? You're trying so hard to explain your side, but the more you talk, the further apart you feel. It's incredibly lonely to feel unheard by the person who matters most to you. In this episode, I'm joined by Raffi Bilek, couples counselor and author of The Communication Book, to talk about why we get "stuck" in these cycles and how to finally start hearing each other again. We talk about: How to use "I" statements to stay the main character of your own story (without blaming). Why "Empathy" doesn't have to mean "Agreement." The "Drunk Brain" analogy—why you shouldn't try to resolve things when you're emotionally flooded.   >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  Read the show notes for this episode here.    Free Relationship Pattern Assessment Are you having the same conversation over and over? Many couples assume they have a communication problem when they're actually stuck in a relationship pattern that keeps creating the same conflict. Take the free Relationship Pattern Assessment to identify the pattern that may be keeping you disconnected and learn what to focus on next. 👉 https://pages.communicateandconnect.com/relationship-quiz

    23 min

  7. Mar 16

    Why Your Partner Shuts Down in Arguments

    Have you ever felt like you're hitting a brick wall during a conversation with your partner? Why Your Partner Shuts Down in Arguments is often less about a lack of caring and more about a nervous system that has reached its limit. In this episode, we explore the "underneath" of the withdrawer's experience—moving past the frustration of silence to understand the biological stress responses of flight, freeze, and fawn. By recognizing these patterns as attempts to preserve the relationship rather than acts of rejection, couples can move away from the "fire" of conflict and toward a shared sense of emotional safety and reconnection. What You'll Learn: The Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn stress responses. Understanding the "fight to fix" vs. the "withdraw to calm" dynamic. The metaphor of removing oxygen to put out the fire of conflict. How childhood experiences and past trauma shape conflict styles. The "Chasing" cycle: Why pushing for answers often leads to more shutdown. Practical tools for de-escalation: Using "I" statements and signal timeouts. >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.  Read the show notes for this episode here.    Free Relationship Pattern Assessment Are you having the same conversation over and over? Many couples assume they have a communication problem when they're actually stuck in a relationship pattern that keeps creating the same conflict. Take the free Relationship Pattern Assessment to identify the pattern that may be keeping you disconnected and learn what to focus on next. 👉 https://pages.communicateandconnect.com/relationship-quiz

    12 min

  8. Mar 2

    From Shame to Shared Values - Aligning Money Decisions in Military Marriages with Monica Kaufman

    Navigating finances in a military marriage often feels like walking through a minefield, where a simple conversation about a credit card bill can trigger a deep sense of emotional disconnection. In this episode of the Communicate & Connect podcast, Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky sits down with financial expert Monica Kaufman to peel back the layers of "money shame" and explore the attachment roots of our financial behaviors. We shift the focus away from spreadsheets and toward emotional safety, helping couples understand that money is simply a "tool" that often carries the weight of our childhood imprints and survival strategies. This episode provides a gentle roadmap for aligning money decisions in military marriages by helping couples stop the cycle of blame and start getting curious about their partner's "money mindset." By moving from the reactive "6-year-old self" to the intentional "adult self," you can transform financial friction into an opportunity for deeper connection and long-term security. What You'll Learn: The Psychology of Money as an Emotional Tool Childhood Imprints and the Formation of Money Mindsets Shifting from the "6-Year-Old Self" to the "Adult Self" Overcoming Shame within the Financial System Defining Wealth and Financial Freedom Building Financial Resilience in Military Families Strategies for Breaking the Cycle of Financial Blame Having Low-Stakes Financial Conversations   >>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.  You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.  Read the show notes for this episode here.

    30 min
See All (81)

5
out of 5
18 Ratings

About

In The Communicate and Connect Podcast for Military Relationships, marriage counselor Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky explains relationship science and discusses educational tips for improving your relationship and navigating military family life.

Information

You Might Also Like