The hardest parts of the day are often the “in-between” moments: turning off a screen, getting out the door, starting homework, and powering down for bedtime. When those transitions go poorly, it can feel like the whole day is held hostage by routines, arguments, and tantrums. We wanted a grounded, practical roadmap for caregivers and educators, so we sat down with Dr. Peter Montminy of A Mindful Village to talk about what’s really happening in a child’s brain and body during change. We unpack why transitions require real physical and mental energy, why they’re tougher for tired kids and many neurodivergent learners, and why moving from a preferred activity to a non-preferred task can ignite instant pushback. We also reframe tantrums using the “iceberg” view of behavior: what you see on the surface is driven by underlying feelings, unmet needs, and a nervous system that may be stuck in fight, flight, or freeze. That lens changes everything, because it shifts the goal from simply stopping behavior to building emotional regulation skills that last. From there, we get concrete. We walk through a two-phase approach: planning between incidents with a collaborative Plan A plus a built-in Plan B for curveballs, then coaching in the moment with short cues, validation, and clear choices. We also cover what to do when your child says “no” anyway, how to use meaningful consequences without escalating, and why your own “feelings temperature” is the prerequisite to helping your child regulate. You’ll leave with tools like weekly routine check-ins, visual schedules, and reminders that reduce nagging and increase follow-through. If you’re working on parenting routines, classroom transitions, bedtime routines, morning routines, and fewer tantrums, hit play, then subscribe, share this with a friend, and leave a review so more caregivers can find the support. If you or someone you know is in crisis, call or text 988 for immediate support. This podcast is brought to you by Jana Marie Foundation and A Mindful Village. Jana Marie Foundation is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization located in State College, Pennsylvania which harnesses the power of creative expression and dialogue to spark conversations build connections, and promote mental health and wellbeing among young people and their communities. Learn more at Jana Marie Foundation. A Mindful Village is Dr. Peter Montminy's private consulting practice dedicated to improving the mental health of kids and their caregivers. Learn more at A Mindful Village | Holistic Mental Health Care for Kids. Music created by Ken Baxter. (c) 2025. Jana Marie Foundation. All Rights Reserved. This podcast was developed in part under a grant number SM090046 from the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS). The views, policies, and opinions expressed are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect those of SAMHSA, HHS or the Pennsylvania Department of Human Services.
