Emotional Balance Sheet with Paul Fenner

Paul Fenner
  • 5.0 (26)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Weekly

Welcome to the Emotional Balance Sheet, the financial planning podcast for working parents who are building careers and raising kids at the same time. If you and your spouse are both senior-level professionals, raising kids in school or college, and are tired of stitching together four different specialists to run your financial life, this show is built for you. Each conversation tackles the planning conversations real families are having: education costs, retirement timing, equity compensation, career transitions, estate coordination, and the emotional weight that lies beneath it all. Hosted by Paul Fenner, Certified Financial Planner®, Enrolled Agent, and founder of TAMMA Capital. Paul is also a parent to four kids, including a set of triplets, so he knows the pace firsthand. TAMMA Capital is a private family office that brings financial planning, tax, and investments under one umbrella. To schedule a conversation, visit www.tammacapital.com or email pfenner@tammacapital.com.

  1. 2d ago

    Two 401(k)s and Nobody Watching

    Work with Paul: Schedule a 30-minute conversation What if your money problem was never a behavior problem? I keep coming back to the idea that doing well with money is mostly about patience and long-term thinking. I believe that. But what if you're already cleared that bar, and not where you want to be? You saved through every downturn since 2008. You never panic sold. But your financial lives are still not where you want them to be, and it costs real money. I walk through what actually goes wrong: two 401(k)s that were never looked at in the same window, a household stock allocation that nobody chose on purpose, equity comp that quietly builds concentration and leaves a tax gap that shows up in April, and beneficiary forms that have not been touched in over a decade. None of these is a behavior failure. They are decisions with no deadline attached, which is a different problem entirely. I also talk about the deadline I had to invent for myself, and why it's still uncomfortable to say it out loud. Connect with Paul If you're a working parent juggling a senior-level career and a growing family, and you're tired of coordinating four different advisors to run your financial life, I offer complimentary 30-minute conversations. Schedule one here. For resources discussed in this episode, visit tammacapital.com/podcast. Follow Paul on LinkedIn. Resources Featured in This Episode: Can we Really Do That? When Savers and Spenders Share a Life Aligning Assets and Liabilities: Temporal Diversification

    Two 401(k)s and Nobody Watching

  2. Jul 30

    The One-Page Form Most Busy Parents Miss

    Work with Paul: Schedule a 30-minute conversation When was the last time you actually read the beneficiary designation on your 401(k) at your previous employer? In May, I sent every family I work with a current readout of their beneficiary designations across every account I track for them. It was the highest-response email I sent all year. For some families, everything was clean. For others, there were gaps we addressed that week. In this episode, I walk through what's actually on those forms, why a beneficiary designation overrides your will, and the technical points that catch busy working families off guard: ERISA spousal consent on 401(k)s, the HSA tax bomb for non-spouse beneficiaries, the SECURE Act 2.0 ten-year rule now in full enforcement, and the difference between per stirpes and per capita. The action this week is simple. Pull up the beneficiary designation on one account, any account, and just read it. If you can't find it, that's the result. Then set a recurring calendar reminder once a year to do the same for every account in the household. Connect with Paul If you're a working parent juggling a senior-level career and a growing family, and you're tired of coordinating four different advisors to manage your finances, I offer complimentary 30-minute conversations. Schedule one here. For resources discussed in this episode, visit tammacapital.com/podcast. Follow Paul on LinkedIn. Resources Featured in This Episode: Why Stories Move Us More Than Numbers Why Quiet Time Is Your Most Valuable Financial Skill Your Biggest Financial Risk Isn't the Market

    The One-Page Form Most Busy Parents Miss

  3. Jul 23

    The Principles Are Simple. Your Life Isn't

    Work with Paul: Schedule a 30-minute conversation What if you already know the financial principles you need? What if the problem isn't strategy, but execution across a life that's grown too complicated to coordinate yourself? This week, I work through a Morgan Housel idea pulled from a John Reed book. Most fields or industries have three to twelve core principles, with the rest focused on implementation. In finance, the principles are stable. Your life is not. I share a story about a dual-income family with three kids and six accounts spread across three custodians, where nobody was actually steering the ship. And a personal story about how long it takes to act on principles you already know. The action this week is small. Write down the five to eight financial principles you actually live by. Audit your decisions over the last six months against them. The gaps aren't a strategy problem. They're an application problem. Connect with Paul If you're a working parent juggling a senior-level career and a growing family, and are tired of coordinating four different advisors to run your financial life, I do complimentary 30-minute conversations. Schedule one here. For resources discussed in this episode, visit tammacapital.com/podcast. Follow Paul on LinkedIn. Resources Featured in This Episode: How a Financial Planner Can Help You Aligning Personal Interests with Financial Objectives: A Five-Step Guide to Effective Wealth Planning Spring Clean Your Finances; 5 Ways to Get Financially Organized

  4. Jul 16

    The Version of You Your Money Is Still Working For

    Work with Paul: Schedule a 30-minute conversation When was the last time you actually updated your financial life to match the person you've become, instead of the person you were when you first set everything up? This week, I break down two questions about disagreement and experience and turn them inward. I share the story of a senior director whose retirement contribution rate, cash reserve target, and investment allocation were all set for a version of her that hadn't existed in over a decade. And I share what 13 years of moving taught me about how my 30-year-old instincts still fire in a life that no longer needs them. Try this in the next week: pick one financial habit you've held for more than five years. Ask when you formed it, what's changed in your life since, and whether the habit has actually changed too. Most people find at least two updates waiting. Connect with Paul If you're a working parent juggling a senior-level career and a growing family, and are tired of coordinating four different advisors to run your financial life, I do complimentary 30-minute conversations. Schedule one here. For resources discussed in this episode, visit tammacapital.com/podcast. Follow Paul on LinkedIn. Resources Featured in This Episode: The Questions We Forget to Ask Ourselves The Story That Spent Your Money The Scoreboard We Never Chose

  5. Jul 9

    Your Paycheck is Not Your Safety Net

    Work with Paul: Schedule a 30-minute conversation As I reflect on the ideas in this podcast, I realize they all point to the same underlying principle: the importance of creating a gap in my financial life. That gap is the distance between what I earn and what I spend, between the plans I make and the unexpected events life inevitably brings. True freedom isn't about having unlimited wealth; it's about having enough margin to make choices on my own terms and adapt when circumstances change. What stands out to me is how easy it is to confuse financial success with financial security. I can have a strong income, be saving for retirement, and appear to be doing everything right, yet still be financially fragile if every dollar is already committed. Without a gap, any disruption—a job loss, medical expense, or major life change—can quickly become a crisis. The ability to make important life decisions often comes not from certainty, but from having enough financial flexibility to absorb uncertainty. The biggest lesson I take away is the importance of defining what "enough" means for me. If I never answer that question, I'll always be chasing more, constantly moving the goalpost and sacrificing time, attention, and peace of mind in the process. Financial progress isn't simply about accumulating more money; it's about maintaining the margin that gives me resilience, flexibility, and the freedom to live the life I actually want. Connect with Paul If you're a working parent juggling a senior-level career and a growing family, and are tired of coordinating four different advisors to run your financial life, I do complimentary 30-minute conversations. Schedule one here. For resources discussed in this episode, visit tammacapital.com/podcast. Follow Paul on LinkedIn.

  6. Jul 2

    Why We White-Knuckle the Seasons We'll Miss

    Work with Paul: Schedule a 30-minute conversation What is it about May that makes time feel both five months long and two days short? Dr. Jennifer Dragonette is back with me to unpack the season we now call Maycember. The graduations, the finals, the last concerts, the last games, the recitals, stacked on field trips, stacked on state testing. The season that asks senior‑level parents to be in three places at once and bring snacks to all of them. We get into a concept called time travel and why most of us are constantly five minutes ahead or three days behind, but rarely where our feet are. I share a confession about the part I hate most when I am at my own kids' events, even though I know these are the moments I will later wish I could rewatch. Dr. Jen and I also talk about a reframe I use with families I work with that has changed how I think about my own time. Would you actually trade places with the version of yourself from five years ago, knowing what you know now? Almost no one I have asked says yes. So what does that say about right now? This week, try one thing. When you catch yourself rehearsing the next event while still inside the current one, name one thing you can hear, see, or feel in the room. That is the entire intervention. The presence does not have to be philosophical to count. Connect with Paul If you're a working parent juggling a senior-level career and a growing family, and are tired of coordinating four different advisors to run your financial life, I do complimentary 30-minute conversations. Schedule one here. For resources discussed in this episode, visit tammacapital.com/podcast. Follow Paul on LinkedIn. Resources Featured in This Episode: You Can Always Make More Money, But You Can't Make More Time The Questions We Forget to Ask Ourselves

    Why We White-Knuckle the Seasons We'll Miss

  7. Jun 25

    The Plan I Wrote Fifteen Years Ago

    Work with Paul: Schedule a 30-minute conversation What if the long-term financial plan I built five years ago is now describing a family I no longer have? That is the question I have been sitting with. December 9, 2010, is the day my triplets were born, and the day I founded TAMMA. Fifteen years in, I can tell you neither plan I wrote that day survived. And that was never the goal. In this episode, I share the number of short runs I did not account for in my own life, walk through a family that has been through five major transitions in five years, and unpack why senior professionals can be sophisticated about iterative planning at work and unsophisticated about it at home. The conflict is not capability; it's flexibility that is a maintenance burden, and most plans have nobody carrying it. The action step this week takes fifteen minutes. Name the last three transitions your family went through in the past five years. Then ask, for each one, what financial decisions in your current plan still assume you are the person you were before. That is the work. Connect with Paul If you're a working parent juggling a senior-level career and a growing family, and are tired of coordinating four different advisors to run your financial life, I do complimentary 30-minute conversations. Schedule one here. For resources discussed in this episode, visit tammacapital.com/podcast. Follow Paul on LinkedIn. Resources Featured in This Episode: Preparing for the Next Life Chapter Wealth Planning is For Everyone Funded Contentment

  8. Jun 18

    The Most Expensive Story You Tell Yourself

    Work with Paul: Schedule a 30-minute conversation What if the long-term financial plan I built five years ago is now describing a family I no longer have? That is the question I have been sitting with. December 9, 2010, is the day my triplets were born, and the day I founded TAMMA. Fifteen years in, I can tell you neither plan I wrote that day survived. And that was never the goal. In this episode, I share the count of short runs I did not account for in my own life, walk through a composite client family who has been through five major transitions in five years, and unpack why senior professionals can be sophisticated about iterative planning at work and unsophisticated about it at home. The dissonance is not capability. It is that flexibility is a maintenance burden, and most plans have nobody carrying it. The action step this week takes fifteen minutes. Name the last three transitions your family went through in the past five years. Then ask, for each one, what financial decisions in your current plan still assume you are the person you were before. That is the work. Connect with Paul If you're a working parent juggling a senior-level career and a growing family, and are tired of coordinating four different advisors to run your financial life, I do complimentary 30-minute conversations. Schedule one here. For resources discussed in this episode, visit tammacapital.com/podcast. Follow Paul on LinkedIn. Resources Featured in This Episode: Places to Hide Aren't Roadblocks Why Behavior Beats Spreadsheets Can We Really Do That

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About

Welcome to the Emotional Balance Sheet, the financial planning podcast for working parents who are building careers and raising kids at the same time. If you and your spouse are both senior-level professionals, raising kids in school or college, and are tired of stitching together four different specialists to run your financial life, this show is built for you. Each conversation tackles the planning conversations real families are having: education costs, retirement timing, equity compensation, career transitions, estate coordination, and the emotional weight that lies beneath it all. Hosted by Paul Fenner, Certified Financial Planner®, Enrolled Agent, and founder of TAMMA Capital. Paul is also a parent to four kids, including a set of triplets, so he knows the pace firsthand. TAMMA Capital is a private family office that brings financial planning, tax, and investments under one umbrella. To schedule a conversation, visit www.tammacapital.com or email pfenner@tammacapital.com.

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