Candour Communication Podcast

Mark Tannen, Divan Gradwell
  • 5.0 (6)
  • MANAGEMENT
  • UPDATED SEMIMONTHLY

We discuss interpersonal communication and all the human stuff that gets in the way. To communicate more effectively we cannot rely on communication skills alone. We need to shine a light on our perceptions of other people and ourselves. We delve into topics like emotional intelligence, body language, deception, storytelling, social engineering, culture, personality, negotiation, sales and leadership. Join us as we learn to get our message across with more courage, clarity and connection.

  1. 07/03/2022

    The Finale (#50)

    1:04- behind the scenes: podcast stats - number of countries, downloads and fan favourite episodes.   6:11 - We're putting the podcast on hold indefinitely.   9:54 - Mark's favourite episode: Chris Marhefka.   14:38 - Adrian Spear episode: distance between stimulus and response.   15:39 - Grant  Herbert episode: be yourself. 16:13 - funniest moments: Lisa Linke, Christian Fleck, Daisy Simonis.   19:32 - most inspiring guests: Dr Everett Worthington, Ashley Kesner, Ricardo Gonzalez, Greg van Borssum.   24:29 - most surprising moments: grief (Jillian Rosoff and David Richman) and erotic empathy (Amanda Luterman), backburners (Dr Michelle Drouin). 30:45 - the counter-intuitive Danish way of parenting: Jessica Joelle Alexander.   34:07 - most informative: Dr Timothy Levine.   38:43 - episodes on trust: Marie-Clarie Ross and Melanie Marshall.   39:00 - presenting and storytelling: Laurie Gilbertson.   40:26 - story telling: Francisco Mahfuz, Gabrielle Dolan.   44:07 - quick recap of topics covered in the podcast.   45:17 - leadership episodes: David Neal and Ryan Hartley.   48:02 - topics that we would have liked to do?   50:26 - benefits of doing the podcast: meeting people.   51:14 - empathy: Dr Ashok Bhattacharya and Daniel Murray.   53:11 - relationships are at the heart of life: Dr Michelle Drouin, Craig Bulmer and Ashley Fico.   54:48 - knowing better does not mean doing better: Divan's communication mistake.   59:32 - feedback: Jason Rosoff and Paul Farina.   1:01:09 - Tina Robinson: "all behaviour is communication".   1:01:40 - Mark's recommendations: Chris Marhefka, Dr Michelle Drouin, Amanda Luterman, Jessica Joelle Alexander.   1:02:45 - Divan's recommendations: Jessica Joelle Alexander, Francisco Mahfuz, David Neal, Dr Ashok Bhattacharya, Jason Rosoff, Dr Timothy Levine. 1:05:15 - practice is as important as knowledge.   1:05:50 - wrapping up the podcast.   1:09:52 - connect with Divan and Mark.   1:10:28 - final words.   You can find more detailed show notes with links to references at: https://candourpodcast.com/the-finale/

    1h 13m
  2. Angie Wakeman: the joy of clowning around in life (#49)

    06/19/2022

    Angie Wakeman: the joy of clowning around in life (#49)

    1:33 - being present rather than prepared.   4:26 - the moments that happen when we're present.   6:04 - being in the moment allows you to interact with your audience.   7:56 - does the costume help to lower inhibitions?   9:43 - curiosity, empathy and naivete.   11:28 - training yourself to see as if it was your first time seeing.   14:00 - how did clowning start for Angie?   16:23 - clowning is vulnerable and authentic.   24:10 - how Angie's previous careers helped with clowning.   27:31 - clowning in the corporate environment.   32:10 - you are more than the role you perform.   34:23 - the value of staying in the mess.   36:50 - those moments of stuck aren't real.   38:32 - making the time and space to play.   39:53 - status games.   45:23 - clowns play, they don't act.   46:22 - overthinking makes us perform worse.   48:18 - the role of the court jester.   51:22 - how the class transforms through clowning.   56:51 - we connect through our imperfections.   1:00:02 - connect with Angie.   You can find more detailed show notes with links to references at: https://candourpodcast.com/angie-wakeman/

    1h 2m
  3. Florian Decludt on learning languages and adapting to cultures (#48)

    06/05/2022

    Florian Decludt on learning languages and adapting to cultures (#48)

    1:21 - the first person to disagree on LinkedIn. 5:20 - the countries Florian has lived in.  7:18 - most difficult country to adapt to.  9:17 - are people less friendly in some countries?  12:32 - some cultures are more indirect. 14:36 - how to get an insight to the country’s unwritten rules. 16:30 - how Florian felt about going to a boarding school in a new country where he didn’t speak the language. 18:09 - why should people live in a different country?  24:45 - a new country is a clean slate.  27:10 - finding yourself when travelling.  32:00 - fear of failure stopping us from starting.  36:57 - don’t overthink what you say because people don’t care.  39:10 - tying self worth to people’s opinions.  41:48 - learning and fear and failure.  44:18 - is social media a waste of time?  47:50 - create a learning entourage.  50:30 - the benefits of learning new languages.  57:45 - how to learn a new language?  1:09:21 - connect with Florian. You can find more detailed show notes with links to references at:  https://candourpodcast.com/florian-decludt/

    1h 11m
  4. Melanie Marshall on the heart and soul of trust (#47)

    05/22/2022

    Melanie Marshall on the heart and soul of trust (#47)

    2:43 - no fear of public speaking after doing a body building competition. 8:38 - focus on who you want to be, not what you want to be. 15:33 - people are not trusted to do the job they were hired for. 16:26 - being trusted is not up to you to decide, its up to the other person. 17:36 - why Melanie wrote the book, Trust. 20:37 - respect comes from feeling trusted. 21:41 - the core of communication and leadership. 22:52 - what do organisations look like when there is no trust? 27:26 - trust is just as important for personal relationships. 31:9 - getting people to own up to bad news. 38:5 - deal with conflicts early. 42:47 - why beliefs about trust are important. 45:46 - belief about whether trust is earned or given. 47:23 - earning trust. 51:50 - HEART + SOUL model of trust. 55:19 - honesty: does it require trust or build trust? 56:20 - earning trust is on their timeframe, not ours. 58:53 - don't jump in with the answer. 62:5 - does helping others build or erode trust? 64:29 - responding from values rather than reacting from emotion. 72:36 - can you be too nice? 75:39 - when you have to build trust very quickly. 81:0 - taking time to connect at work can feel non-productive. 94:10 - connect with Melanie. You can find more detailed show notes with links to references at: https://candourpodcast.com/melanie-marshall/

    1h 36m
  5. Laurie Gilbertson on high stakes persuasion: a prosecutor's perspective (#46)

    05/08/2022

    Laurie Gilbertson on high stakes persuasion: a prosecutor's perspective (#46)

    2:10 - Alexander Hamilton.   5:02 - what drew Laurie into criminal law?   10:26 - the most important lessons Laurie's father taught her was about communication.   11:55 - importance of credibility when making your case.   14:18 - logic vs emotion in arguing a case.   17:32 - the importance of primacy: making the most of an opening statement.   23:53 - knowing your audience when the audience is very diverse.   27:37 - dealing with difficult people in the audience.   30:25 - we can easily misread our audience.   31:57 - the stories we tell ourselves can hinder communication.   33:16 - how to prepare for presentations.   38:16 - can you prepare too much?   43:23 - making a closing argument.   46:36 - communication lessons from interrogating witnesses.   48:58 - if you want honest feedback, ask kids.   52:01 - let your witness be the star of the show.   55:32 - arguing cases you don't believe in.   1:02:27 - adapting your presentation style for television.   1:04:26 - biggest barrier to good presentations: being yourself.   1:06:24 - do people struggle more with content or delivery?   1:09:56 - be like a child when speaking on stage.   1:12:13 - connect with Laurie Gilbertson.  You can find more detailed show notes with links to references at: https://candourpodcast.com/laurie-gilbertson

    1h 14m
  6. Jillian Rosoff on grief: heartache, healing and humour (#45)

    04/24/2022

    Jillian Rosoff on grief: heartache, healing and humour (#45)

    1:31 - Radical Candor in the Rosoff household. 2:08 - what drew Jillian to grief counselling. 4:30 - people are scared to talk about death. 7:06 - what to say when someone is grieving. 9:47 - we will all say the wrong thing at some point. 10:50 - people get less support during grief than we think. 12:25 - avoiding resentment when people don't reach out. 14:39 - when the platitudes don't fit. 16:40 - don't give advice. 17:59 - we grieve in context. 19:50 - different styles of grieving. 20:45 - grief has more emotions than sadness. 21:54 - can grief lead people to detrimental paths? 24:41 - healthy ways to deal with grief. 26:27 - scared to be in the present because that's where the emotions are. 28:09 - how to stay calm and take care of yourself to help others? 32:55 - not feeling the "right" emotions when grieving. 35:06 - what value does a grief counsellor add? 37:48 - kids communicate through play. 41:51 - people can have very different rituals when grieving someone. 44:28 - the impact of not being able to attend funerals during COVID. 48:48 - we only know how to live if we've been confronted with death. 51:02 - the power of humour. 55:40 - feeling like we have to be strong for others. 1:0:24 - enjoying the present vs reminiscing about the past. 1:01:55 - what is most important when people look back on their life? 1:03:23 - sharing our stories can be a way to connect with each other. 1:06:00 - connect with Jillian. You can find more detailed show notes with links to references at: https://candourpodcast.com/jillian-rosoff/

    1h 8m
  7. Ryan Hartley on heart-centred leadership (#44)

    04/10/2022

    Ryan Hartley on heart-centred leadership (#44)

    2:05 - what drew Ryan to work at a call centre for the police. 4:28 - lessons from a emergency call centre. 6:45 - hire for character and social skills. 7:55 - de-escalating highly emotional situations. 10:17 - the hardest phone call Ryan ever took. 12:02 - importance of self-care in high stress jobs. 16:06 - managing your own emotions in high stress situations. 18:34 - the importance of being calm as the leader. 19:45 - leadership is an act, not a title. 21:18 - everyone has a purpose. 26:25 - candid conversations are not an excuse for being blunt and harsh. 27:01 - mindset, skillset and heartset. 31:09 - how Ryan developed a servant-leadership approach in a status-driven environment. 33:03 - a leader's job is to be a greenhouse. 35:01 - the importance of team identity.   39:32 - the culture deck from the founder of Netflix. 41:07 - leading with your heart is hard but worth it. 45:04 - feedforward instead of feedback. 45:34 - love tough. 49:02 - attachment theory applied to leadership. 49:55 - it's more important to be relational than to be right. 53:38 - the importance of courage in leadership. 54:44 - coming to the world from love, not for love. 57:43 - how Ryan's marriage survived a rough patch. 1:02:36 - what lessons did marriage troubles teach Ryan. 1:04:21 - self-defence mechanism to rejection. 1:05:35 - everyone deserves to be loved. 1:08:21 - what does "always better than yesterday" mean to Ryan. 1:10:24 - leaving a heartprint. 1:12:07 - the ripple effect of leadership. 1:13:09 - get in touch with Ryan Hartley. You can find more detailed show notes with links to references at: https://candourpodcast.com/ryan-hartley/

    1h 16m
  8. Dr Michelle Drouin: how technology impacts connection, intimacy and infidelity (#43)

    03/27/2022

    Dr Michelle Drouin: how technology impacts connection, intimacy and infidelity (#43)

    1:53 - phantom phone vibrations. 2:35 - from development psychology to technology impact on relationships. 3:53 - is technology helpful or harmful to relationships? 7:24 - parents' concerns about kids on technology. 9:06 - technology opens up communication with people across the world. 9:47 - phone addiction is not all bad. 11:07 - using our phones for social good. 12:56 - calling her Grandma. 14:28 - millennials are scared of phone calls. 16:10 - does talking to strangers make us happy? 21:19 - a small kindness to a stranger can make their day. 23:06 - the intimacy famine why it matters. 25:37 - the life-giving power of physical touch. 30:24 - the importance of a shared bedtime routine with your partner. 33:05 - using technology together can still build intimacy. 34:35 - rules are important to avoid conflict. 36:28 - make rules when you are calm. 38:30 - rewards are more effective than punishment to change behaviour. 40:40 - how can singles get more intimacy? 42:59 - back burners - a threat to your relationship? 48:35 - Ex-partners are most likely to be backburners. 49:20 - social media is the cause for up to 30% of divorces. 50:27 - rules around social media? 52:10 - people may have different intent than you when using social media. 54:31 - the lies people are most disappointed by when online dating. 56:36 - lying on dating sites reduces relationship length. 57:52 - pitfalls to avoid when dating online. 1:00:23 - the criteria you are looking for when dating. 1:02:10 - relationships are so important. 1:03:21 - persisting with our current relationship vs looking for something new. 1:05:32 - what if our relationship has lost it's spark? 1:09:19 - connect with Michelle. You can find more detailed show notes with links to references at: https://candourpodcast.com/dr-michelle-drouin/

    1h 11m
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About

We discuss interpersonal communication and all the human stuff that gets in the way. To communicate more effectively we cannot rely on communication skills alone. We need to shine a light on our perceptions of other people and ourselves. We delve into topics like emotional intelligence, body language, deception, storytelling, social engineering, culture, personality, negotiation, sales and leadership. Join us as we learn to get our message across with more courage, clarity and connection.

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