Do Not Scratch Your Eyes

Do Not Scratch Your Eyes

Ever wondered what it’s really like to support Watford FC? Well now you can find out as Justin, Carl and Peter guide you through the highs and lows with the help of fellow fans, ex-players and celebrity hornets. We are a podcast by stupid fans for fans who have patience and a low level of expectations as to what a podcast should deliver. This Podcast has been created and uploaded by Do Not Scratch Your Eyes.

  1. 8h ago

    Pozzo Tax trial a DNSYE "Preview" Special

    We’re trying something new at DNSYE — PREVIEW, our attempt to fill some of the space left behind by programmes and fanzines, combining longer-form written pieces with the usual podcast discussion. And for the first proper outing, Peter has chosen something reassuringly straightforward: Spanish tax law, Luxembourg finance vehicles and the forthcoming Gino Pozzo trial. What could possibly go wrong? We look at what the case is actually about, why some of the assumptions surrounding it may not be quite right, and — most importantly for Watford supporters — why events dating back more than a decade at Granada could potentially matter at Vicarage Road today. There are previous Spanish football cases, an old Watford connection that raises a few eyebrows, two very different interpretations of the same financial arrangements and plenty still to be decided when proceedings begin in November. Along the way Carl asks the fairly inevitable question about whether any of this tells us something about Watford’s own finances, while Peter attempts to explain an extremely complicated case without accidentally qualifying as a Spanish tax lawyer. The full research is in PREVIEW; this is the conversation that came out of it. COYH!! This Podcast has been created and uploaded by Do Not Scratch Your Eyes. Huge thanks to all our Patreons: Chris Giannone, RichWFC2, Steve Holliman, Paul Fiander Turner, Sean Gourley, Lee Anselmo, John Parslow, Mark von Herkomer, Neil Silverstein, Steve Brown, Dave Lavender, Kasey Brown, Nipper Harrison, Boyd Mayover, Colin Payne, Paul Riley, Gary Wood, Karl Campion, Kevin Cremen, The Big Le – Bofski, Greg Theaker, Malcolm Williams, Peter Ryan, John Thekanady - Ambassador of Dubai!! Jack Foster, Jason Rose, Michael Abrahams, Ian Bacon, Ken Green, Nick Nieuwland, Colin Smith Ant!!!!! Westlie Wheeler, Stephen Atkinson, John Myers, Ryan D! Dave Mullins, James McNamara, Jim Cuthbert, Peter Birch, John Myers, Richard Pyne, Vydra Deeney!!! &PDF!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    Pozzo Tax trial a DNSYE "Preview" Special
  2. Sep 18

    POST MATCH PHONE IN | BCFC 1-0 WFC

    Watford go into the international break after a 1–0 defeat at Bristol City and another evening that exposed just how stretched the squad has become. Players are filling unfamiliar positions, others are still searching for fitness, and callers largely sympathise with Alessio Dionisi as he tries to assemble a functioning side from increasingly limited options. There were glimpses from Amin Nabizada and confident ball handling from Federico Ravaglia, but precious little attacking threat. Much of the discussion inevitably turns to the size and shape of the squad and whether three weeks without a game can really solve problems that run deeper than the injury list. Even if players return, callers question whether the squad has enough depth for the Championship schedule ahead. Amid the frustration comes the very sad news of the death of former Watford goalkeeper Kevin Miller at just 57 — remembered not only as an outstanding goalkeeper and twice Player of the Season, but by those who knew and met him as a genuinely lovely man. And perhaps that puts a miserable Friday night into some perspective. We finish by looking towards the Taylor Trek and the work of the Watford Community Sports & Education Trust — from mental-health programmes to supporting people living with dementia. Results, owners and players come and go, but the community Graham Taylor and Elton John helped build remains. On a night when there wasn’t much joy in the football, it was a timely reminder of the parts of Watford Football Club that really matter. COYH!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    POST MATCH PHONE IN | BCFC 1-0 WFC
  3. Sep 15

    BRISTOL CITY v WATFORD | THE OPPOSITION VIEW

    Watford head to Bristol City after a Stoke performance where the hospitality was excellent, the company delightful and unfortunately somebody eventually produced a football. We revisit Amin Nabizada’s latest ridiculous finish, a midfield currently available in travel size only, and the continuing debate over what constitutes criticism, analysis or simply shouting at a screen while repeatedly asking why nobody has tracked the runner. Then old friend Dave interrupts his Ibiza holiday — without either clarinet or trumpet, mercifully denying the Balearics an international incident — to explain a rather more optimistic Bristol City. There’s Michael Skubala, increased investment, 11 new signings, a three-year project and actual squad depth. Essentially, Dave describes several concepts Watford supporters may wish to Google before listening. Finally, the Completely Rubbish Prediction League reaches territory even we hadn’t anticipated. Religion becomes involved. Then breasts. Dice Dons seek divine assistance, the Gods of Backgammon abandon conventional statistical modelling altogether, ChatGPT is forced to investigate human nipple-to-breast ratios, and listeners are invited to rescue the entire enterprise by writing to DNSYE Towers, Watford, Hertfordshire, WD0 DEAR. Football predictions may also occur. COYH!! This Podcast has been created and uploaded by Do Not Scratch Your Eyes. Huge thanks to all our Patreons: Chris Giannone, RichWFC2, Steve Holliman, Paul Fiander Turner, Sean Gourley, Lee Anselmo, John Parslow, Mark von Herkomer, Neil Silverstein, Steve Brown, Dave Lavender, Kasey Brown, Nipper Harrison, Boyd Mayover, Colin Payne, Paul Riley, Gary Wood, Karl Campion, Kevin Cremen, The Big Le – Bofski, Greg Theaker, Malcolm Williams, Peter Ryan, John Thekanady - Ambassador of Dubai!! Jack Foster, Jason Rose, Michael Abrahams, Ian Bacon, Ken Green, Nick Nieuwland, Colin Smith Ant!!!!! Westlie Wheeler, Stephen Atkinson, John Myers, Ryan D! Dave Mullins, James McNamara, Jim Cuthbert, Peter Birch, John Myers, Richard Pyne, Vydra Deeney!!! &PDF!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    BRISTOL CITY v WATFORD | THE OPPOSITION VIEW
  4. Sep 12

    POST MATCH PHONE IN | WFC 1-2 SCFC

    Watford lose 2–1 at home to Stoke in a game where the scoreline does the performance considerably more favours than Watford managed to do themselves. We discuss being comprehensively outplayed in midfield, a side already looking worryingly leggy, players being asked to play through problems, and a substitutes’ bench featuring two goalkeepers, two right-backs and precious little ability to change what was happening in front of us. Stoke, meanwhile, rather inconveniently demonstrated what midfield depth, movement and Championship know-how actually look like. There is, however, one glorious little shard of sunshine poking through an otherwise fairly industrial-sized cloud: Amin Nabizada. The academy youngster comes off the bench and belts in a fabulous consolation goal — his third of the season — providing approximately 97% of the afternoon’s available joy. We ask whether he should now be starting, where the other youngsters have disappeared to, and whether Alessio Dionisi can reasonably be expected to keep squeezing performances from a squad currently held together with cotton wool and crossed fingers. Callers range from despondent to extremely despondent as attention inevitably turns towards the ownership, recruitment and the increasingly mythical prospect of everyone becoming fit after the international break. There’s praise for Dionisi, admiration for Stoke, some free-agent shopping, an unexpectedly detailed discussion about the relative size of Watford players’ heads, and the discovery that losing 2–1 can apparently constitute a flattering scoreline. Other than that, Mrs Lincoln, how was the play? COYH!! This Podcast has been created and uploaded by Do Not Scratch Your Eyes. Huge thanks to all our Patreons: Chris Giannone, RichWFC2, Steve Holliman, Paul Fiander Turner, Sean Gourley, Lee Anselmo, John Parslow, Mark von Herkomer, Neil Silverstein, Steve Brown, Dave Lavender, Kasey Brown, Nipper Harrison, Boyd Mayover, Colin Payne, Paul Riley, Gary Wood, Karl Campion, Kevin Cremen, The Big Le – Bofski, Greg Theaker, Malcolm Williams, Peter Ryan, John Thekanady - Ambassador of Dubai!! Jack Foster, Jason Rose, Michael Abrahams, Ian Bacon, Ken Green, Nick Nieuwland, Colin Smith Ant!!!!! Westlie Wheeler, Stephen Atkinson, John Myers, Ryan D! Dave Mullins, James McNamara, Jim Cuthbert, Peter Birch, John Myers, Richard Pyne, Vydra Deeney!!! &PDF!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    POST MATCH PHONE IN | WFC 1-2 SCFC
  5. Sep 8

    THE POST MATCH PHONE IN | WFC 2-1 PNEFC

    Watford somehow turn a first half described variously as “dog shit”, “abject” and “turgid” into a 2–1 win over Preston. We discuss a victory apparently retrieved from several feet inside the jaws of defeat, an enormous intervention from Federico Ravaglia and whether Alessio Dionisi’s greatest achievement was changing the game — or simply surviving the opening 45 minutes without setting fire to his tactics board. Then the cavalry arrive. Mamadou Doumbia finally gets his reward, Mavadidi and Maammaa add some much-needed attacking intent, and Iker Bravo produces the sort of performance that causes perfectly rational football supporters to become extremely irrational indeed - bordering on weepy. We ask whether we spend too much time worrying about the starting XI rather than the finishing XI, while continuing the slightly inconvenient debate about squad depth, injuries and having two goalkeepers on an eight-man bench. Finally, callers make their way home through an increasingly detailed tour of Britain’s motorway networkv& Football Manager produces Watford’s first major trophy before inevitably sacking the bloke who won it. Three points, a manager prepared to roll the dice and, for once, Watford beating the team everyone expected them to help back into form. What is this, some kind of sorcery? COYH!! This Podcast has been created and uploaded by Do Not Scratch Your Eyes. Huge thanks to all our Patreons: Chris Giannone, RichWFC2, Steve Holliman, Paul Fiander Turner, Sean Gourley, Lee Anselmo, John Parslow, Mark von Herkomer, Neil Silverstein, Steve Brown, Dave Lavender, Kasey Brown, Nipper Harrison, Boyd Mayover, Colin Payne, Paul Riley, Gary Wood, Karl Campion, Kevin Cremen, The Big Le – Bofski, Greg Theaker, Malcolm Williams, Peter Ryan, John Thekanady - Ambassador of Dubai!! Jack Foster, Jason Rose, Michael Abrahams, Ian Bacon, Ken Green, Nick Nieuwland, Colin Smith Ant!!!!! Westlie Wheeler, Stephen Atkinson, John Myers, Ryan D! Dave Mullins, James McNamara, Jim Cuthbert, Peter Birch, John Myers, Richard Pyne, Vydra Deeney!!! &PDF!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    THE POST MATCH PHONE IN | WFC 2-1 PNEFC
  6. Sep 6

    WATFORD V PRESTON NE | OPPOSITION VIEW

    Preston at home, so we’re joined once again by Ollie from the Butter Pie Podcast, who arrives “living the dream” while Preston sit pointless at the bottom of the Championship before Saturday win over Blackburn. We discuss former Hornet Caleb Wiley providing one small glimmer of hope, the loss of Ben Whiteman and Milutin Osmajić, and a rebuilt strike force currently boasting the reassuring total of one Championship goal between them. There are promising noises about Léo Leroy and Preston’s right-hand side, considerably fewer about Dilano Burgzorg — currently described as “more like Zoidberg from Futurama” — while Ollie admits they’ve been “absolutely honking.” Remarkably, two sets of supporters then bond over questionable recruitment, injured signings and the exciting possibility that neither club entirely knows what it has assembled. Finally, the Completely Rubbish Prediction League faces perhaps its greatest constitutional crisis yet (and there's been a few to choose from). Original Backgammon FC founder John Parslow returns with a proposal involving a Phoenix club, some dice, a cardboard box and extremely limited resources. With the league currently consisting of five teams, the potentially momentous decision over whether it expands to six is handed, entirely reasonably, to Preston supporter Ollie. What could possibly go wrong? COYH!! This Podcast has been created and uploaded by Do Not Scratch Your Eyes. Huge thanks to all our Patreons: Chris Giannone, RichWFC2, Steve Holliman, Paul Fiander Turner, Sean Gourley, Lee Anselmo, John Parslow, Mark von Herkomer, Neil Silverstein, Steve Brown, Dave Lavender, Kasey Brown, Nipper Harrison, Boyd Mayover, Colin Payne, Paul Riley, Gary Wood, Karl Campion, Kevin Cremen, The Big Le – Bofski, Greg Theaker, Malcolm Williams, Peter Ryan, John Thekanady - Ambassador of Dubai!! Jack Foster, Jason Rose, Michael Abrahams, Ian Bacon, Ken Green, Nick Nieuwland, Colin Smith Ant!!!!! Westlie Wheeler, Stephen Atkinson, John Myers, Ryan D! Dave Mullins, James McNamara, Jim Cuthbert, Peter Birch, John Myers, Richard Pyne, Vydra Deeney!!! &PDF!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    WATFORD V PRESTON NE | OPPOSITION VIEW
  7. Sep 6

    THE POST MATCH PHONE IN PT 2 | WBAFC 1-0 WFC

    Part Two begins with Groundhog Day looming and the discovery that Dionisi may be approaching the Rob Edwards Barometer considerably earlier than anybody wanted. Tuesday therefore becomes Huge Day, before being upgraded to Super Huge Day, while the proposed tactical solution to Watford’s goalscoring problem is eventually refined to Mattie Pollock at the back and nine forwards. Guardiola presumably taking notes. We also receive possible divine intervention: John has a priest friend coming over from America who supported Watford through the Graham Taylor years and may therefore possess exactly the Championship experience the recruitment department forgot to buy. Elsewhere, injured dogs are identified as potential free-agent full-backs, Rocco Vata is considered at wing-back and Myron Boadu is asked to concentrate very specifically on thinking inside the box. Finally, Adam describes the club as “circus, clowns”, Kaiden awards Watford’s transfer window a GCSE grade 3, offers to sign Dave from down the road for midfield and calls Scott Duxbury something unlikely to appear in the official club podcast. After two hours discussing a 1–0 defeat we thought might fill one, the conclusion is simple: the football’s better, the squad’s held together with Blu Tack, and somehow we still quite like the team COYH!! This Podcast has been created and uploaded by Do Not Scratch Your Eyes. Huge thanks to all our Patreons: Chris Giannone, RichWFC2, Steve Holliman, Paul Fiander Turner, Sean Gourley, Lee Anselmo, John Parslow, Mark von Herkomer, Neil Silverstein, Steve Brown, Dave Lavender, Kasey Brown, Nipper Harrison, Boyd Mayover, Colin Payne, Paul Riley, Gary Wood, Karl Campion, Kevin Cremen, The Big Le – Bofski, Greg Theaker, Malcolm Williams, Peter Ryan, John Thekanady - Ambassador of Dubai!! Jack Foster, Jason Rose, Michael Abrahams, Ian Bacon, Ken Green, Nick Nieuwland, Colin Smith Ant!!!!! Westlie Wheeler, Stephen Atkinson, John Myers, Ryan D! Dave Mullins, James McNamara, Jim Cuthbert, Peter Birch, John Myers, Richard Pyne, Vydra Deeney!!! &PDF!!! . Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    THE POST MATCH PHONE IN PT 2 | WBAFC 1-0 WFC
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About

Ever wondered what it’s really like to support Watford FC? Well now you can find out as Justin, Carl and Peter guide you through the highs and lows with the help of fellow fans, ex-players and celebrity hornets. We are a podcast by stupid fans for fans who have patience and a low level of expectations as to what a podcast should deliver. This Podcast has been created and uploaded by Do Not Scratch Your Eyes.

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