JAV'S THOUGHTS

Ursula Javanska Alba
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  • Personal Journals
  • Updated Daily

Feelings and thoughts ; sanity and madness ; mentality ; motivations.

Episodes

  1. Grieving on A Good Day

    05/09/2024

    Grieving on A Good Day

    My lover died I remember that day The dew fell off on the green grass The chirping of sparrows echoed in the evening sky All I heard was silence Just silence... Puffs of burning smoke billowed in the skyless air His body's ashes were stored well in an urn buried in the earth The only things left were the pieces of his hair and a photo of him Only the clothes still had traces of his scent His scent lingers and I hope it never faded My tears spilled all night, all day, all year I was overwhelmed in grief. It was a bright day But my heart was very dark, as dark as the night sky My clothes were neat, with a white veil covering every strand of my hair That morning the sun was not yet high But my heart was pounding with alarm That day was supposed to be a day of new beginnings for me It's not the breaking point I felt like I just wanted to die... Because that day was my birthday There should be a story of my new life journey With a string of prayers that I said when blowing out the candles for the man who would later become my life partner I closed my eyes, prayed, and opened my eyes again There's no one... Familiar faces took turns expressing their condolences They prayed for my dream to come true But now I don't know what should I expect? To whom? I didn't even know myself All those hopes and prayers had just vanished from within me before I could say "amen" for it That day was a big day I was worried Very anxious Because even on the best day, I can grieve Too deep of grief Where I will never know when I will be able to rise again from this vortex of destruction I will never know.

    3 min
  2. Consciously, Believe

    05/03/2024

    Consciously, Believe

    Love is about trust.

    2 min
  3. Don't Be Too Hard On Yourself

    12/11/2020

    Don't Be Too Hard On Yourself

    They're so kind. They willingly to struggle with you. Hug them, love them, and thank them — your own selves.

    4 min
  4. Brokenheart isn't That Simple

    12/09/2020

    Brokenheart isn't That Simple

    Dealing with a heartbreak is not as easy as how we say it, "I am broken heart". It's complicated. It's deep. It's deadly.

    4 min
  5. The Reason Why I Started to Write

    12/08/2020

    The Reason Why I Started to Write

    Don't be afraid to express your feelings. If you can't tell something to someone because you're afraid they'll judge you, then express it in a way you feel comfortable with.

    4 min
  6. When the Morning isn't Okay

    12/08/2020

    When the Morning isn't Okay

    And by the time, the bad feelings start to fade away. And you will become yourself again.

    2 min
  • 6 Episodes

About

Feelings and thoughts ; sanity and madness ; mentality ; motivations.

Information

  • Creator
    Ursula Javanska Alba
  • Years Active
    2020 - 2024
  • Episodes
    6
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Ursula Javanska Alba
  • Show Website
    JAV'S THOUGHTS