True Crimes Against Wine

Judge Topher, Judge Rachel, Champlify Media
  • 4.9 (19)
  • Comedy
  • Updated Weekly

Celebrities can be talented, sure, but should they really be making wine? Join Judges Topher and Rachel as they use their oenological savvy and pop culture deep cuts to answer that very question. After drinking all the evidence and sorting their way through red herrings, they will determine whether some of Hollywood and music's biggest stars are, in fact, guilty of True Crimes Against Wine.

  1. 7h ago

    People's Court Ep.09: Who Failed the Kid?

    Hey — welcome back. We’re diving straight into a messy, emotional family moment that unspooled at the worst possible time: a middle-schooler is grieving the loss of a classmate, and the adults around her fall apart instead of showing up. This episode walks through a dad’s frantic return from a trip, a mother with a deep fear of funerals, and a grandmother who jumps in and calls out the mom — sparking a blowup over who should apologize and what real parenting looks like. I’m with you: funerals are heavy, and kids need supportive adults who can put their own stuff aside. But this story also shows how much context matters — trauma, phobias, and old family tensions could all be playing a role. We break down the reactions (and the “dun-dun” vibes), ask the questions the Reddit post leaves out, and get real about how messy grief and communication can get when everyone’s hurting.   Tune in for empathy, sharp takes, and a few laughs — because sometimes the only way through the worst parts of life is with humor and honesty. And yes, we might roast a mother-in-law or two along the way.

    19 min

  2. Jun 8

    People's Court Ep.08: Am I the A*****e for Ruining Three Relationships?

    Hey there, wine lovers and amateur relationship detectives! 🍷🕵️‍♀️ In this People’s Court episode of True Crimes Against Wine, Judge Topher takes on a juicy Reddit-style dilemma involving emotional cheating, workplace crushes, secret text messages, and a husband who’s gotten a little too attached to his 19-year-old coworker. 😬 When one wife notices her husband acting suspiciously around a much younger “friend,” alarm bells start ringing. Between private conversations, secret-sharing games, hidden messages, and a whole lot of vague explanations, what starts as a gut feeling quickly spirals into a relationship mess involving not one, not two, but three relationships. 💥 We dive into the difference between friendship and emotional affairs, discuss trust, transparency, and boundaries in long-term relationships, and share some personal experiences with partners who blurred those lines. Along the way, we ask the big question: when someone is clearly hiding something, is exposing the truth ever the wrong move? Packed with hot takes, relationship drama, and plenty of side-eye for people making questionable decisions, this episode is equal parts entertaining and cathartic. Pour yourself a glass and join us as we decide who’s really at fault in this tangled web of secrets, flirting, and broken trust. Cheers! 🥂

    24 min

  3. Jun 1

    Sidebar Ep.138:Wine-Fueled Nightmares: When Podcasts Keep You Up

    Hey, friend — welcome back to another cozy, slightly cursed episode of True Crimes Against Wine. We read Melanie's letter (love you, Melanie) about falling asleep to our show and waking up with absolute wine-fueled nightmares, and honestly? Same. We dive into the weird world of stress dreams versus full-on nightmares: the classic bathroom-where-the-stalls-don't-fit, the endless-final-exam-that-you-never-studied, and the work-nightmare where the POS system is plotting against you. Relatable and chaotic. We also swap true nightmare stories — slow-running to lock doors, doors that open when they absolutely shouldn’t, and the poor sleep-talker whose nightly mantra is so consistent it’s basically a law. There are laughs, empathetic groans, and yes, a little bit of screaming in your sleep. It’s the kind of chat that makes you feel like you’re on the couch with us, wine glass in hand (or in the other room, as we attempted this time). If you’re prone to spooky dreams, maybe skip the Halloween episodes before bed — or do you want the thrill? Either way, we appreciate our listeners who drift off to our nonsense, and we’ll keep reading your letters. Also, free swag! Koosies, tall and standard, random old merch — we’ll throw together a care package for our long-timers. So cheers to better dreams, fewer open door moments, and fewer Trulies that taste like a crime scene. Sweet dreams, and keep the letters coming.

    10 min

  4. May 25

    CASE 0519: We're Gonna Need A Bigger Bottle

    DEFENDANT: Bruce EVIDENCE: Jaws Amity Island Red Blend SCENE OF THE CRIME: A Beach Near You -- Hey friend — welcome to the season finale of True Crimes Against Wine, where we drank a Jaws-labeled Napa red and then took a deep dive into sharks, sea-snail sex, and why Spielberg’s technical failures made cinema history. We’re sipping a 55% Petit Syrah blend with Merlot, Cabernet and a cheeky 5% Aligoté (yes, Aligoté!), talking oak and cinnamon, and wondering whether the grape’s fruit-forward nose would match the surprisingly soft, dry sip. We reminisce about our first Jaws experiences, dissect the iconic two-note theme (you know the one), and praise the film’s suspenseful genius born from broken mechanical sharks. There are quiz rounds, outfit descriptions (I’m the poodle in a fur coat — clearly), and a whole lot of drunk rambling about bull sharks, the USS Indianapolis, friendship foam, and sea-creature mating rituals that somehow led us to discuss third nipples and the best mid-’70s blazers. Classic season finale energy. If you love movie lore, bad-but-fun wine labels, and unfiltered sidebar chaos, this episode is a salty, sunburned treat. Grab something chilled (or cellar-temp) and come hang — we’ll keep the people’s court, the sidebar nonsense, and maybe even a special summer surprise if we remember. Until then: stay in the shallow end, cheers, and happy summer.

    1h 59m

  5. May 18

    People's Court Ep.07: Hooking Up with a Taken Man — Who’s Really to Blame?

    Hey friend — welcome back to True Crimes Against Wine. Today we dive into a toothpaste-level messy Reddit post: a woman sleeps with a guy who flirted with her, later finds out (via an unsent text) he’s in a relationship, and now wonders if she's the a*****e for continuing to hook up. Spoiler: the hosts have strong opinions. We read the whole thing out loud — the creeping suggestive looks, the technical "I'm not married" dodge, the unsent confession, and that shaky justification that ‘‘if it's not me it'll be someone else anyway.’’ We call out the red flags: half-truths, deletions, and anyone who hides things with legalistic wordplay. If someone relies on technicalities to lie, they're not a trustworthy partner — and that matters for everyone involved. The tone gets real and candid: the hosts own up to past mistakes, talk about what it feels like to be cheated on, and explain why continuing to sleep with someone you know is in a relationship is choosing to aid a betrayal. You're not culpable for what you didn't know, but once you know, it's on you to do better. The verdict is blunt and unforgettable. We also unpack the messy justifications people use, the hazards of affairs becoming a pattern, and why honesty should be non-negotiable. Expect laughs, sharp takes, a few gross metaphors, and a solid "cut your losses and move on." Got a juicy Reddit case you want judged on People's Court? Send it to TrueCrimesAgainstWine on Instagram or drop us a line at our Gmail — we love the messy ones. Cheers, and enjoy the episode.

    15 min

  6. May 11

    CASE 0518: "After Her Gay Boyfriend Died..."

    DEFENDANT: Scarlett O'Hara  EVIDENCE: Southern Belle Jumilla, "The Mourner"  SCENE OF THE CRIME: Jumilla, Spain, oddly enough -- Hey friend — grab a glass and curl up: this episode pairs a bold Spanish wine called Southern Belle with the messy, fascinating world of Gone with the Wind. We unpack the bottle (visually and taste-wise), the winery’s playful Southern Gothic art, and the surprising bourbon-barrel twist — then dive deep into Margaret Mitchell’s life, the book’s complicated legacy, and the movie’s glittering, problematic hold on culture.   We don’t shy away from the sticky stuff: racism, mythmaking, class, and how nostalgia can soften historical pain. We also gush over the label art, sip notes of ripe cherry and clay, and argue about Scarlett, Rhett, Hattie McDaniel, and who truly deserves blame — while keeping it personal, candid, and a little bit goofy. Whether you want wine recs or a thoughtful, cozy chat about one of America’s most contentious classics, this episode has you covered.   Pop a bottle, take a seat on the imaginary Spanish terrace, and let’s talk about stories, wine, and why some things resist easy answers.

    2h 28m

  7. May 4

    People's Court Ep.06: Don't Poke the Mama Bear

    Get ready for one of the wildest mother-in-law stories and family drama podcast episodes yet!  In this hilarious People’s Court episode of True Crimes Against Wine, Judge Topher dives into a shocking gender reveal gone wrong involving an overbearing mother-in-law, toxic family dynamics, pregnancy boundary issues, and a husband caught in the middle. When a first-time mom’s special baby gender reveal is hijacked by her manipulative mother-in-law, who shares the baby’s gender news without permission, the drama escalates fast. From intrusive pregnancy behavior and public belly-kissing to emotional manipulation, disrespect, and serious boundary-crossing, this episode unpacks one of the internet’s most outrageous parenting and in-law conflict stories.  If you love Reddit-style relationship drama, mother-in-law horror stories, pregnancy podcasts, family conflict discussions, and funny commentary on toxic relationships, this episode is for you. We’re talking baby announcement etiquette, difficult in-laws, setting healthy boundaries, and how to protect your peace before your new baby arrives.  Pour yourself a glass and join us for this funny, relatable, and brutally honest breakdown of family dysfunction, marriage stress, and next-level grandparent drama. Cheers!

    14 min

  8. Apr 27

    CASE 0516: Turtle Power!

    DEFENDANT: Leonardo DaVinci EVIDENCE: DaVinci Pinot Grigio SCENE OF THE CRIME: Renaissance Italy -- Hey friend — come hang out with us for a delightfully silly, slightly spicy stroll through art, wine, and history. We’re sipping an easy Pinot Grigio, dreaming up melon-and-prosciutto pizzas, and taking Leonardo da Vinci on tour: his notebooks, love life rumors, flying machines, and that massive (now-ruined) horse project. We gossip about museum wine nights, the chaos of the Louvre, and Michelangelo’s beef about buff bodies — all while drinking, cracking jokes, and treating the past like our most dramatic friend. If you love cozy, chatty episodes that blend pop-culture riffs with art history, this one’s for you: we mix tasting notes (pear, green apple, underripe honeydew), travel stories, and scandalous little details about Renaissance Italy (including sodomy charges, apprentices, and sketchy patrons). It’s like eavesdropping on two pals at the museum bar. Pull up a chair, pour a glass, and prepare for Leonardo’s courtroom (sort of) — full of gossip, goofy hypotheticals, pizza plots, and a little wine-fueled wisdom. Ciao, cheers, and try not to get gooey over the melon slices on your pizza.

    1h 47m
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Trailer

4.9
out of 5
19 Ratings

About

Celebrities can be talented, sure, but should they really be making wine? Join Judges Topher and Rachel as they use their oenological savvy and pop culture deep cuts to answer that very question. After drinking all the evidence and sorting their way through red herrings, they will determine whether some of Hollywood and music's biggest stars are, in fact, guilty of True Crimes Against Wine.

Information

  • Creator
    Judge Topher, Judge Rachel, Champlify Media
  • Years Active
    2021 - 2026
  • Episodes
    265
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2021 All rights reserved.
  • Show Website
    True Crimes Against Wine