True Crimes Against Wine

Judge Topher, Judge Rachel, Champlify Media

Celebrities can be talented, sure, but should they really be making wine? Join Judges Topher and Rachel as they use their oenological savvy and pop culture deep cuts to answer that very question. After drinking all the evidence and sorting their way through red herrings, they will determine whether some of Hollywood and music's biggest stars are, in fact, guilty of True Crimes Against Wine.

  1. Aug 24

    Sidebar Ep. 144: We Thought We’d Recorded This — Tori Amos Live Follow‑Up

    Hey — welcome back to the True Crimes Against Wine sidebar. This one’s a little embarrassing (false memories are real) but also delightful: Rachel and Fact Checker finally made it to Tori Amos in Atlanta, and I’m here to spill everything — the good, the ridiculous, and the emotional. First, quick housekeeping: we both genuinely thought we’d already recorded this, so shoutout to Jamie for reminding us. Also, Rachel owes the producer a giant apology — she really put him through it and even promised to pay for therapy (but only once). True podcast drama, right? OK, the show: it was amazing. Tori turned 63 (happy birthday, Tori!), and while her voice has deepened a bit with age, her signature sound absolutely shines. She had three backup singers — a new addition for her — and they filled in harmonies and high notes beautifully. The band (drums with cool chimes setup and bass) brought a fuller, more intense energy to songs that felt almost heavy-metal at times. The set was a lovely mix of new tracks, deep cuts, and classics — Fire to Your Plane, Shush (which hit like a revelation live), Ruby Through the Looking Glass, Precious Things, Taxi Ride, Spring Haze, and of course Cornflake Girl and Big Wheel encores. She even closed with Imagine which brought Fact Checker to tears — I loved that. The crowd was a whole vibe: diehard fans, moms bringing teens who ended up smiling by the end, and one woman who danced her whole body off in her seat after a few drinks (amusing, not annoying from where we were). And yes, in true concert spirit, someone dared and someone threw a bra on stage — double-dog dared energy intact. There’s something magical when a group of musicians genuinely enjoy playing together, and you could feel that trust and joy on stage. If you love Tori even a little, go — the tour’s still happening and this was absolutely worth it. If you want to reach us, email truecrimesagainstwine@gmail.com or find us on Instagram. And once again, Rachel says sorry to the producer — therapy’s on her, but just this once.

  2. Aug 10

    Sidebar Ep.143: Wine, Wits & Client Dinners: What to Order to Look Effortlessly Competen

    Hey, Renee — and hey friend. If you’ve got a client dinner coming up and don’t want to look out of your depth (but also don’t want to be stiff and boring), this chat has your back. There are two main vibes you can lean into: the quietly sophisticated move or the casually cool cocktail move. For the low-key, impress-without-trying option, go wine: a Pinot Noir, especially from Willamette Valley or Burgundy, is a safe, classy choice that says you’re worldly and confident without shouting it. Avoid polarizing picks like big Cabs or sweet Rieslings. If the spot is more modern or has a fun cocktail program, use the menu to your advantage — pick a base spirit you like (tequila, rum, whiskey) and ask the server about a cocktail by name, or ask its flavor profile. That shows thoughtfulness and curiosity without pretending to be an expert. In old-school or male-dominated settings, ordering a whiskey-forward cocktail, an Old Fashioned, or a specific scotch can be an intentional power move — annoying and unfair that it works, but also effective. Conversely, avoid party drinks (Long Island Iced Tea, shots) unless you’re celebrating and the group is going there. Martini fans: if you go this route, know the terminology (gin vs. vodka, dry vs. extra dry, stirred vs. shaken, up vs. on the rocks, garnish) so you don’t give away that you’re faking it. If you can, glance at the cocktail list before you sit so you’re not flustered, and don’t be the person who orders first unless you know what you want — mirroring the group and projecting calm confidence will take you far. Bottom line: it’s less about the exact drink and more about how you order it — poised, informed, and present. Now go close that deal, hold your drink like you know what you’re doing, and hey — if it’s Margaritaville and scooters with cup holders, send pics.

  3. Aug 3

    Sidebar Ep.142: Margarita Batch Magic: Poolside Drinks That Actually Work

    Hey friend — if you’re planning a pool day and want to bring something better than boxed rosé (but still chill and easy), this episode’s for you. We’re big fans of low-drama, high-fun batched drinks: think margaritas and mojitos as the MVPs. They’re simple to scale, super tweakable, and they won’t leave you with a sad, flat, sugary mess after a few hours in the sun. Quick PSA: don’t bring Long Island iced tea to the heat. Also, please don’t do blue m***********s. Learned that the hard way — way too much alcohol with way too much artificial sugar and a color that makes you question life choices. If you’re making something for a group, pick something that stays pleasant in a pitcher. Real talk on batched cocktails: start simple. Margaritas are the perfect base — tequila, lime, and a touch of agave. Mojitos are great too, just keep the soda separate so it stays fizzy when you serve. For fruit-forward sweetness, use ripe fruit (watermelon, strawberries, peaches) and muddle it in the pitcher for natural flavor instead of dumping in extra sugar. Sugar + sun = rough morning, so let the fruit do the work. Want to get fancy? Try spicy margaritas with jalapeño, or play with citrus like blood orange or a lemon-lime-orange blend. If you want bubbles, batch the base and top each poured drink with Prosecco or soda — don’t pre-mix the fizz. Also, remember large-batch ratios sometimes need a little tweaking from your single-drink recipe, so taste and adjust before you serve. Another favorite hack: make a few different lemonades (spicy watermelon lemonade, triple-citrus lemonade, ginger-peach lemonade) and let folks pick their liquor — rum, vodka, tequila, gin — so people can control strength and sweetness. It’s great for guests who don’t drink much; they still get a delicious refresher without the buzz. Bottom line: keep it fresh, keep it simple, and don’t over-sweeten. If you try one of these batched ideas (or invent your own twist), tell us how it went — we love hearing your variations. Hit us up at truecrimesagainstwine@gmail.com or on Instagram. We’ll send you some swag if it’s cute enough. Cheers and enjoy the pool!

  4. Jul 27

    People's Court Ep.11: Mom Confronts Daughter for Bringing Baby to Homophobic In‑Laws — Drama Explodes

    Hey — this episode is one for the books. A mom finds out her adult daughter has been secretly taking her grandchild to stay with the father’s religious, homophobic family after the dad came out and was disowned. She tells her daughter she’s disgusted, informs the dad, and now custody leniency is gone. Big feelings and bigger consequences all around. Listen, I get it — there are layers here. The dad was forced into a life he couldn’t sustain and finally came out; his parents reacted terribly. The daughter’s hurt and anger after the breakup are real, but sneaking the child around people who actively disowned their own son? That crosses a line. It’s spiteful, and it puts a kid in the middle of adults’ unresolved drama. There’s sympathy to go around: for the dad trying to be authentic, for the daughter coping with betrayal, and even for the grandparents who are trapped in their own beliefs (even if they behaved cruelly). But at the end of the day, protecting the child matters most — and telling your grown kid you’re disgusted for enabling hate is hard, brave, and necessary. No neat endings here — custody is tighter now and relationships are strained — but this is a reminder that adults’ choices have real impact on kids. If you’re on Team Boundaries and Basic Human Decency, this episode will land. If you’re still wrestling with empathy for everyone involved, that’s okay too — it’s complicated, messy, and painfully real.

4.9
out of 5
19 Ratings

About

Celebrities can be talented, sure, but should they really be making wine? Join Judges Topher and Rachel as they use their oenological savvy and pop culture deep cuts to answer that very question. After drinking all the evidence and sorting their way through red herrings, they will determine whether some of Hollywood and music's biggest stars are, in fact, guilty of True Crimes Against Wine.

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