Song of the Dakini Tantras

Catherine Fehrmann M.D.
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  • Spirituality
  • Updated Biweekly

teachings, prayers, poetry, and sacred sound to explore and inspire Awakening Consciousness in the body, mind, and heart

  1. 23h ago

    I Remember

    I remember walking this way before in suffering, lost in thought  and agony, habits of looking for the suffering, to try to recall it,  demons of doubt, my beloved Christ, we cleanse the seven seals  for each other, to cast out the demons. I remember  before the suffering, the pure, milky white substance that gives birth.  I remember my devotion and let it save me. I remember before that, when there was no devotion and there was no me, no one to save,  no separate self, and this is my salvation, dried brown grasses,  and a rustling movement along the side of the path. When there are demons in the body, everything feels uncomfortable and irritating.  I remember! I remember you. Magnetu, angel of truth, dark blue,  and laughing with a space between your front teeth.  I remember peace and forgiveness with a slice of pizza in my stomach, all flour and cheese and tomato sauce. spiderwebs trembling  under the touch of the setting sun.  Al-uzza , Fatimah, razbah, Johannes, Noah, dancing wind.  Hathor star nation, come to me through my emotional body.  my beloved, my beloved, the emotional body of God.  we melt the bindus into seed essence through our union,  they flow through channels and impregnate the Mandalas.  I bring my consciousness to my cosmic presence,  facilitating ascension through my physical aspects. through this  co-creative unity, each initiation brings me to greater self mastery, portals into the great mystery.  Be summoned, enter, become fused with,  be pleased, and become of the same taste...

    I Remember

  2. 6d ago

    The Throne

    I am the throne, I am the one ascending the throne  to worship  the divinity of the holy human being that I am.  I am the ark of the covenant containing the great mysteries  and miracles of Sofia Christ light. I bow at the altar in devotion. The paradox of the absolute vow is that it’s not necessary,  there is no one to make the vow  and there is no one to make the vow to. Thank you loved ones, you tend to me in my initiation ,  anointed and rubbed by the goddess,  lying on the crystal stone altar, sucking and wringing out  old black things from my body, and then we rest in the field together, the field of Grace, the codes awakened in my mind and cells. My psyche is fractured, core wound of agony splayed open  Illusion of defeat, of impossible dream the body is hemorrhaging, but already dead, I find him way inside  like a boil of pus, like a precious gem, way inside,  from our many journeys together, the way I took him in so deeply  this time around, over almost a decade. Splayed open  and clamped down tight, wavering between the two,  we let it be rhythmic respirations. My Dakini sisters, we travel  to the 10 directions with our long-life arrows, adorned with silk ribbons,  to hook back my life force. thank you, sisters, we do this together, breathing back vital essence and affirmation into the dead body.  we travel into the subtle dimensions of the skin and the womb,  my orchid sisters accompany, thank you beauties.  My Magdalene brothers hold the space, protectors in every location, and on every petal, safety of the Mandala itself,  precious guru rise up through the lotus in my heart  We sanctify and clarify, and the joke is  that we are already sacred and clear, but it is no joke,  we must go through this process to bring the vehicle on board.  And then we dissolve it, we cut through. my body. heart, and soul are held within the loving and protective energy of the cloak of Christ consciousness...

    The Throne

  3. Jul 15

    Warm Sesame Oil

    Warm sesame oil with cloves rubbed into the hands and feet,  points of contact with form, with the Earth,  Warm sesame oil with cloves rubbed into the top of the head,  point of contact with the sky,  press then rub, press then rub, sensuality of longing,  longing for the daughter that I just left Dakini angels of the La, hooking back the life force,  from the up and down and the eight Cardinal directions,  long life Arrow with ribbons of the five colors and five elements,  we retrieve my umbilical cord from the star where I left it,  the star the fetus chose, instead of the womb of my beloved mother of flesh and blood, her terrible suffering too disturbing.  We retrieve the leaking energies from the disempowered  thought forms of the Astral realms, Gathering back parts  of my heart and soul from people, places and things, like horcruxes,  not dissipated through curses and evil intent,  but through the breaking apart of self through trauma I could not bear. My dakini angel helpers arise from the union in my heart,  hayagriva and vajravarahi, the Christ and his bride, that would be me.  we retrieve parts of myself back from my lover‘s body,  his armpit, his beard and that spot inside his groin  that I like to smell. It is painful, but they’re just confused attachments, death of one kind but not the other Awareness in its essence has never existed as anything whatsoever  and thus entails no proliferation or resolution,  it is consciousness settled in its own place...

    Warm Sesame Oil

  4. Jul 5

    Great Blazing Bliss

    There’s more compassion now in the Great Blazing Bliss,  I feel it, it must be so, in the center of the Mandala of power,  of Bliss-emptiness, of primordial wisdom, ripe lotus of passion, of discriminating awareness, expressing glory of the blazing Vajra sun and succulent silvery Moon in their atomic embrace.  Blossoming Bhaga is PrajnaParamita. The sacred grace and mercy of the divine mother  is the great manifesting expression of divinity. I trust in it.  though sometimes I lose faith, slapped around  by the blizzard and ocean spray of the pushback as portentious, inexplicable and sensual things unfold through me. Water initiation, the five constituents of the body become the five Mothers. Light rays from them draw in the five Mothers of the Mandala in the manner of a second butter lamp separating off from the first...

    Great Blazing Bliss

  5. Jun 29

    Nectar Up

    I nectar up, to prostrate, to make my offerings, to get down low,  to swoop up high, I nectar up to confess and purify,  to cultivate the shakti, to spin the wheels of Dharma.  I nectar up to make the seven branch offering, disseminate the merit.  I don’t need to accumulate it. I nectar up to rejoice  in the medicine song and sufi dance, celebrate the love between us,  I nectar up to whisper, stay close, so close. I nectar up  to find ultimate truth, tossing everything under the hooves of the stampeding Buffalo,  I bow to you, we share a secret wink of the eye.   Let the mind be out of control, it is not in control anyway   When wet blueberries are pressed together  an oozing ulceration is formed, bedsore of the bounty. A non-conceptual awareness is generated through the coming together of external and internal conditions and through this,  great bliss is generated in your continuum...

    Nectar Up

  6. Jun 25

    As Above, So Below

    Crown point, head center, nirmanakaya lama  and refuge fields, white OM, OM, OM above that, junction of Da’at, Sambhogakaya lama and refuge Fields,  reflected below, in the throat center, red AH, AH, AH Then further above that, blue stargate, Dharmakaya lama  and refuge Fields, further below, heart center, blue HUM, HUM, HUM Agony and disdain, cyclops and evil eye, help me remember  the eye of Ra , God‘s eye, just a slight shift in dimension  is all that we need, look at me, look with me, so intimate,  we travel the lemniscate, figure 8 with the eyes , following the red and white eternally wed, man and woman, Buddha and dakini There is a garden with fleshy petals and breath,  I am, you are, we are,  there is a mountain of granite reaching for the sun, immeasurable,  tip of a glacier with roots in the center of the Earth,  reaching for the womb, there is space, there is nothing,  no God and no breath, no boundary. I cannot see you  because you are me and I am not me, I am Love

    As Above, So Below

  7. Jun 15

    In/visible Man

    The shame of disappearing messages, now you see me, now you don’t,  I bring my passion to you, but there’s no one here, I speak my truth, I reveal, and then I deny,  I am disguised, I am invisible, I am so secret that I don’t even exist, rewriting the program,  Abwoon, Abwoon, resting in the One,  Be at Peace, I find the natural rhythm that unites all things in harmony,  I find, I find, I find, press full against me in the light of day  with eyes open, there can be no hiding in the hidden,  nothing secretive in the secret. There are protectors in every direction, for every pure intention, for every light ray that emanates  from my heart and my mind. I offer, offer, offer,  eight offering goddesses all dancing beautifully Crossed eyes, crossed wires, crossed brain, crossed channels wrapped around the head, crossed neural pathways of the eyes in the brain.  Peace, be still, and know that you are God.  we bring into connection, into coherence, through the figure eight of infinity, eight pointed star of the Lodge poles...

    In/visible Man

  8. Jun 11

    Deep Freeze

    I am waking up from a deep freeze of an entire life,  except I was not in an ice bath. I was walking around on the planet, living and breathing, but not really. Prestigious university in a deep depression, raising a family, talking, driving, vacations, most moments filled with fear and loathing, the frozen shock of it, and now I thaw,  the rivers overflow with melted ice and snow, emotion, sensation,  broken open by the penetration of a man with the same name  as a police comfort dog. Waking up on a street covered with snow, filled with red brick colonial buildings after a shooting,  people care about each other, I didn’t know profound upadesha, for realizing the mind as Dharmakaya, gathering clouds of blessings of the inner way of accomplishing  the Lama, not separate from the vivid appearance of the yogini

    Deep Freeze
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About

teachings, prayers, poetry, and sacred sound to explore and inspire Awakening Consciousness in the body, mind, and heart

Information

  • Creator
    Catherine Fehrmann M.D.
  • Years Active
    2021 - 2026
  • Episodes
    282
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Catherine Fehrmann M.D.
  • Show Website
    Song of the Dakini Tantras