Coming Out & Beyond Support for Women Questioning Their Sexuality Later in Life

Anne-Marie Zanzal 1ac1f670-c17c-11f0-806a-ef1502adef07
  • 4.3 (24)
  • SEXUALITY
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Coming Out & Beyond is a podcast for women questioning their sexuality later in life — no matter where you are or what your life looks like right now. Maybe you're sitting with a question you've never said out loud. Maybe you fell for a woman or something woke up recently, everything shifted and you can't put it back. Maybe you're untangling years of religious conditioning or compulsory heterosexuality and trying to figure out who you actually are underneath all of that. Whatever brought you here — this space is for you. Hosted by Anne-Marie Zanzal — Yale Divinity School graduate, ordained progressive minister, grief counselor, and LGBTQ+ coach who came out in midlife — Coming Out & Beyond offers real conversations, emotional clarity, and grounded support for women coming out after 30, 40, 50, and beyond. We talk openly about late bloomer experiences, being married with kids and questioning, single and not finding someone who is right for us, catalyst relationships, faith deconstruction, divorce, grief, identity shifts in midlife, and learning to trust the voice inside you that’s getting louder. This isn’t about rushing labels or blowing up your life. It’s about integration. Self-trust. And the kind of community that changes everything. Because women navigating later-in-life coming out do better — emotionally and practically — when they’re not doing it alone. New episodes weekly. Join the conversation on YouTube, and when you’re ready, step inside Authentically Us (https://community.annemariezanzal.com/)— Anne-Marie’s private community for women on this journey. This journey is yours and you are coming home to yourself. https://annemariezanzal.com/maybe-im-not-straight-guide/

  1. 2D AGO

    What Lies Are You Telling Yourself? Kathy Houston on Waking Up to Who You Really Are

    What do you do when a single moment — a woman's hand on your thigh at a work dinner — unravels 45 years of the story you thought was yours? That's exactly what happened to Kathy Houston. A West Point graduate, U.S. Army officer, 30-year retail leader, wife, and mother of two — Kathy spent decades doing everything exactly right. She married the day after she was commissioned. She left the military to raise her kids rather than deploy to Desert Storm. She built a career, a family, a life. And she had absolutely no idea she was gay. Until she did. In this rich, funny, deeply honest conversation, Anne-Marie and Kathy talk about what it really looks like to come out at 50 — the five years of doing nothing after the first spark of awareness, the open marriage, the first relationship that cracked her heart open, the lesbian gatekeepers who told her she "wasn't really gay," and the neuroscience-backed mindset work that helped her finally build the life she couldn't have imagined but absolutely deserved. Kathy is now a later-in-life coming out coach, a TEDx speaker (What Lies Are You Telling Yourself?), and a certified Positive Intelligence coach. She brings the same discipline that got her through West Point and Desert Storm to helping women face the biggest truth of their lives — with clarity, courage, and a whole lot of hard-won wisdom. This episode also marks the re-launch of Coming Out & Beyond with a sharpened focus on women coming out later in life — late-blooming lesbians, married women questioning their sexuality, and women navigating midlife identity shifts after 30, 40, 50, and beyond. If that's you, you are home. In this episode: The Kmart training trip that changed Kathy's life forever — and the woman she never saw againWhy she did nothing for five years after realizing she might be gayOpening her marriage, her first lesbian relationship, and what "limerence" actually isLesbian gatekeepers — and why they're becoming less commonWhat the brain does to keep us stuck, and how neuroscience can help us get unstuckHer TEDx talk and the three questions she wants every woman to ask herselfBuilding a modern family (and best-friend status with her partner's ex-husband)Why the end — the happiness on the other side — is absolutely worth itIf you're spinning, you don't have to do it alone. Authentically Us is a private community for women questioning their sexuality and coming out later in life. Come find your people: www.annemariezanzal.comFind Kathy Houston at runyourlife.biz — and watch her TEDx talk, What Lies Are You Telling Yourself? https://youtu.be/2h4YKR8Gmsg?si=Rxi1haeq-_KAFP6B #LateBloomingLesbian #ComingOutLaterInLife #AuthenticallyUs #QueerWomen #MidlifeAwakening

    49 min
  2. You Might Also Like: NearlyWeds with Molly & Tom

    2D AGO · BONUS

    You Might Also Like: NearlyWeds with Molly & Tom

    Introducing We're Getting Married! from NearlyWeds with Molly & Tom . Follow the show: NearlyWeds with Molly & Tom Hi guys - Molly and Tom here and we’re getting married! Oh, and we’re launching a podcast! Welcome to the very first episode of NearlyWeds where we document the ride of a lifetime as we plan our perfect wedding day! 💖 For our first episode we’re spilling EVERYTHING. From how we really met to what actually went down behind the scenes of Love Island: All Stars.  We’re also telling our full engagement story. Spoiler alert: it involves shoulder-barging, tequila shots, and a huge WhatsApp group chat that nearly ruined the surprise. And now, the wedding planning crunch time has officially arrived. There are SO many decisions to be made and let’s just say…our visions are not aligned 😳 Most importantly, we want to hear from you. Got a wedding disaster? A proposal fail? Or a juicy question you need answers to? Slide into our DMs @nearlywedspodcast or email us at nearlyweds@jampotproductions.co.uk Thanks for tuning in x  Instagram: @nearlywedspodcast TikTok: @nearlywedspodcast Email: nearlyweds@jampotproductions.co.uk YouTube: @NearlyWedswithMollyTom THE CREDITS Exec Producer: Ewan Newbigging-Lister  Producer: Flossie Barratt Assistant Producer: Issy Weeks-Hankins  Video: Jake Ji & Lizzie McCarthy Social: Anthony Barter  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. DISCLAIMER: Please note, this is an independent podcast episode not affiliated with, endorsed by, or produced in conjunction with the host podcast feed or any of its media entities. The views and opinions expressed in this episode are solely those of the creators and guests. For any concerns, please reach out to team@podroll.fm.

  3. MAR 13

    🤔So... Are You Actually Ready to Date?

    Are you ready to date — or do you just want to be? There's a difference, and this episode of Coming Out and Beyond is here to help you figure that out. Anne-Marie is joined by the wonderful Barbara Rowlandson — dating coach, psychotherapist, and co-host of our monthly dating segment — for an honest, warm, and often hilarious conversation about what it really takes to step into the dating world as a woman who has come out later in life. From the chaos of the "messy middle" to love bombing red flags, from building queer community to figuring out who you even are after decades of partnered life — this episode covers it all. In this episode, we talk about: Why building community should come before dating (and where to find yours)The time and energy dating actually requires — and how to know if you have itWhat it means to know yourself well enough to say no to the wrong personRed flags and why being ghosted is actually a giftThe importance of vulnerability — and the brick walls we don't know we've builtWhy the queer dating pool is smaller, and why that changes the rulesCatalyst relationships: what they are, what they open up, and how to survive themIntimacy, readiness, and what "getting it on" really means for women like usThe surprising role of menopause in why so many women come out in their late 40s and 50s Next month's dating episode: We're talking about dating while you're still married — and what love bombing looks like and how to protect yourself. Don't miss it. 🔗 Resources Mentioned📥 Dating Readiness Guide (free download from Lavender Dating) — Self-assess where you are on the readiness scale before you dive in. 👉 www.lavenderdating.com 📥 Maybe I'm Not Straight Guide — The best of our work on coming out later in life, all in one place. If you're in the messy middle, this one's for you. 👉 https://annemariezanzal.com/maybe-im-not-straight-guide/ 🌸 Join Authentically Us — Our Mighty Networks community for women navigating identity transitions later in life. Community, connection, and people who get it — ready and waiting for you. 👉 annemariezanzal.com 🗓️ This Authentic Life Cohort — Our 16-week group coaching program starts in May. Come through the messy middle with a whole cohort beside you. 👉 annemariezanzal.com 💌 Work with Barbara Rowlandson — Dating coaching for women in exactly this season of life. 👉 Book a free connection call here: https://calendly.com/lavender-dating-team

    47 min

  4. MAR 6

    The Losses No One Talks About When You Come Out

    Coming Out & Beyond has evolved. This season is now exclusively for women questioning their sexuality, coming out later in life, and creating a life beyond—at a human pace, with honesty and community. And if you found yourself here… you’re exactly where you’re meant to be. If something in you has been quietly asking a question you haven't said out loud yet — there's a free guide for exactly this moment. No answers required. Just an honest place to begin. Download our Maybe I Am Not Straight Guide In this episode, I’m joined by Anna Empey—business development consultant, LGBTQ+ coach, and someone who understands (personally and professionally) what it means to rebuild identity after a life-changing awakening. Together, we talk about grief—not just as something that happens when someone dies, but as our emotional, physical, intellectual, and spiritual response to any loss: the identity you thought you werethe life you imagined you’d haverelationships shifting (or ending) after coming outthe “good” changes that still carry real lossthe way unprocessed grief quietly stacks over time We also get practical. We talk about why community matters so much in this chapter—because when we’re isolated, our brains fill in the gaps… and they rarely fill them with kindness. This conversation is steady, honest, and deeply human. If you’ve been carrying a quiet ache you can’t quite name… this one will land. Watch Episode 10 on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube now: https://youtu.be/DnrRcKN8oT4 Go listen on the Coming Out & Beyond YouTube channel and join us in the comments—tell us what part hit home for you. 🔗 CONNECT WITH US Website: annemariezanzal.com Facebook: facebook.com/amzanzal Instagram: @annemariezanzalcoaching Twitter: twitter.com/annemariezanzal LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annemariezanzalpurposefulempowerment Ready to start your own journey? Book a free discovery call: https://calendly.com/annemariezanzalcoachingllc/30-minute-clarity-and-fit 💬 JOIN THE AUTHENTICALLY US COMMUNITY Authentically Us is a support community for later-in-life LGBTQ women at all stages of the coming out and beyond process. Whether you're deconstructing messages from a conservative faith tradition, experiencing divorce-related guilt, or struggling with feelings of shame around your coming out or sexual identity, Authentically Us has the right kind of support for you. Monthly subscription: $39/month 👉 Join Authentically Us #ComingOutAndBeyond #LaterInLifeLesbian #LateBloomerLesbian #QuestioningSexuality #CompHet #ReligiousTrauma #PurityCulture #QueerWomen #ComingOutLaterInLife #MidlifeAwakening #LGBTQPodcast #QueerHealing #GriefWork #GriefAndLoss #IdentityShift #NervousSystemRegulation #Authenticity #SelfTrust #QueerCommunity #MightyNetworks

    51 min

  5. FEB 27

    The Preacher Who Couldn't Pray Away the Gay (And What He Found Instead)

    What happens when the life you’re told to live is slowly killing you—and the life you’re afraid to live is the one that sets you free? David Hulse has been a spiritual teacher for over 60 years. But his journey to get here took him through Pentecostal fundamentalism in Tulsa, Oklahoma, conversion therapy at 17, a church in the Jim Crow South at 19, and a marriage to a woman he thought would save him from himself. In this episode, David shares how he moved from fear-based religion to expansive, love-centered spirituality—and what that path looked like across six decades of searching, breaking down, and building something real. We talk about the bridges that can help you move from rigid doctrine to genuine spiritual connection, why religious wounds don’t heal just because you leave the church, how this current moment in history might actually be “labor pains before a rebirth,” and why 80-year-old queer elders like David are exactly the pioneers our community needs right now. Whether you’re deconstructing your faith, navigating a later-in-life coming out, or just need to hear that it gets better from someone who’s been there—this one’s for you. Connect with David: davidhulse.com | Heartlight Spiritual Center, Charlotte, NC 🔗 CONNECT WITH US Website: annemariezanzal.com Facebook: facebook.com/amzanzal Instagram: @annemariezanzalcoaching Twitter: twitter.com/annemariezanzal LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annemariezanzalpurposefulempowerment Ready to start your own journey? Book a free discovery call: https://calendly.com/annemariezanzalcoachingllc/30-minute-clarity-and-fit 💬 JOIN THE AUTHENTICALLY US COMMUNITY Authentically Us is a support community for later-in-life LGBTQ women at all stages of the coming out and beyond process. Whether you're deconstructing messages from a conservative faith tradition, experiencing divorce-related guilt, or struggling with feelings of shame around your coming out or sexual identity, Authentically Us has the right kind of support for you. Monthly subscription: $39/month 👉 Join Authentically Us

    50 min

  6. FEB 20

    What Heated Rivalry Gets Right About Coming Out

    What Heated Rivalry Gets Right About Coming Out You wouldn't expect a steamy male hockey romance to hit so close to home for later-in-life lesbians — but Heated Rivalry on HBO Max did exactly that. In this episode, Anne-Marie and returning co-conspirator Barb Rowlandson break down why this show has gone viral across the LGBTQ+ community and beyond. From the real cost of staying closeted as strategy (not confusion), to the exhaustion of loving privately versus living openly, to why straight women are weeping at a gay hockey player kissing his boyfriend on the ice — the themes run deep. They explore how the show mirrors what so many women in midlife experience: the layered process of coming out, the fear of losing everything you've built, and the moment when hiding yourself becomes more painful than the risk of being seen. Plus, a honest conversation about gender roles, emotional labor, and why queer relationships often feel like a breath of fresh air after years of carrying the mental load. ⚠️ SPOILER ALERT: This episode discusses major plot points from all episodes of Heated Rivalry. Watch the show first, then come back — we'll be here! 🎧 Listen & watch now: 📺 YouTube: https://youtu.be/7ws7-FvaW38 🎧 Spotify & Apple Podcasts: Search "Coming Out and Beyond LGBTQ Stories" 💬 Want to keep the conversation going? Join our Authentically Us community on Mighty Networks for a live group discussion of Heated Rivalry on Monday, February 23rd! Join Authentically Us – a Community for LGBTQIA+ Adults to participate at https://annemariezanzal.com/ . 💬 JOIN THE AUTHENTICALLY US COMMUNITY Authentically Us is a support community for later-in-life LGBTQ women at all stages of the coming out and beyond process. Whether you're deconstructing messages from a conservative faith tradition, experiencing divorce-related guilt, or struggling with feelings of shame around your coming out or sexual identity, Authentically Us has the right kind of support for you. Monthly subscription: $39/month 👉 Join Authentically Us 🔗 CONNECT WITH US Website: annemariezanzal.com Facebook: facebook.com/amzanzal Instagram: @annemariezanzalcoaching Twitter: twitter.com/annemariezanzal LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annemariezanzalpurposefulempowerment

    44 min

  7. FEB 14

    U-Haul University: Stood Up, Stressed Out & Still Looking for Love!

    🔥 Ever get all dressed up for a date... and they never show? Ever wonder if you're too old for love at 43? Ever think maybe lesbian dating culture is just... toxic? Girl, pull up a chair. We're talking about ALL of it in this episode — and trust us, you're not alone. 📞 FEELING STUCK IN YOUR DATING LIFE? Dating is hard enough without doing it alone. If you're a sapphic woman feeling stuck, frustrated, or just plain lost when it comes to dating — whether you're freshly out, freshly heartbroken, or somewhere in between — let's chat. Book a FREE connection call with Barbara — no pressure, no judgment, just a lesbian therapist/coach/guide who has been there and can help you have a successful dating life. 👉 Book Your Free Call Here What We're Covering This Week: This week, Anne-Marie and Barbara Rowlandson are back with another round of Reddit questions from sapphic women navigating the beautiful, messy, maddening world of queer dating. These posts hit close to home: 🌈 Is lesbian dating culture actually toxic? Spoiler: No. We're talking about why what feels uniquely lesbian is really just uniquely human — and why pathologizing our community doesn't help anyone. ❤️ What to do when your girlfriend brushes off arguments that leave you spinning. Hint: It's about attachment styles and communication, not your queerness. (And "we never fight" isn't the flex you think it is.) 💔 The woman who got stood up on date three. Dressed up, dinner reservation made, Sephora closed for emotional shopping — the whole bit. We're sending her all the love. 🌸 A tough-love conversation with a 43-year-old who thinks she's too old for love. We're unpacking the stories we inherit and how beliefs like "there aren't enough good people out there" can quietly run your whole dating life. 💕 The sweetest question about first-time intimacy. Why excitement, not nervousness, is way more common than you'd think — and how to make your partner feel safe and comfortable. If you've ever wondered whether the intensity of your feelings means something's wrong, or if your dating struggles are a "lesbian thing" or a "human thing," this one's for you. 💬 JOIN THE AUTHENTICALLY US COMMUNITY Authentically Us is a support community for later-in-life LGBTQ women at all stages of the coming out and beyond process. Whether you're deconstructing messages from a conservative faith tradition, experiencing divorce-related guilt, or struggling with feelings of shame around your coming out or sexual identity, Authentically Us has the right kind of support for you. Monthly subscription: $39/month 👉 Join Authentically Us 💬 GOT YOUR OWN SAPPHIC DATING DILEMMA? We want to hear from you! Share your dating question or story, and we might feature it on our next episode of U-Haul University. 🔗 CONNECT WITH US Website: annemariezanzal.com Facebook: facebook.com/amzanzal Instagram: @annemariezanzalcoaching Twitter: twitter.com/annemariezanzal LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annemariezanzalpurposefulempowerment 🎧 LISTEN TO THE PODCAST Apple Podcasts: Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories Spotify: Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories Grab your headphones, maybe a glass of wine, and come sit with us. You're not doing this dating thing alone anymore.

    47 min

  8. FEB 6

    When the Shelf Breaks: Reflections on Breaking With Faith Tradition and What Lies Beyond

    It's the first Friday of the month, and that means we welcome back Anna Empey to the show! In this episode, Anne-Marie and Anna delve deep into their personal journeys of deconstructing their Catholic and Mormon faith, particularly in the context of their LGBTQIA+ identities. Each paints a vivid picture of what it was like to grow up in a home with conservative faith traditions, noting the moments when their "shelf broke" (a metaphor for losing faith), the emotional toll of leaving behind their faith communities and ingrained beliefs, and the impacts it had on their interpersonal relationships. Anne-Marie and Anna also share which pieces of their beliefs they retained, noting how they found freedom and peace as they moved forward in life guided by their values. ❓ What to Expect in This Episode: ✨Exploration of how church policies can be devastating for LGBTQIA+ individuals. ✨Thoughts on how personal relationships with a higher power can evolve over time. ✨Why anger is a valid part of the deconstruction process. ✨Encouragement to ask questions and seek your own beliefs. Authentically Us is a support community for later-in-life LGBTQ women at all stages of the coming out and beyond process. Coming out later in life is often accompanied by suffering. Whether you're looking to deconstruct messages from a conservative faith tradition, experience divorce-related guilt, or struggle with feelings of shame around your coming out or sexual identity, Authentically Us has the right kind of support for you. Monthly subscription to Authentically Us on Mighty Networks is $35/month, but you can try your first week for free. Find Authentically Us at https://bit.ly/Authentically-Us 💬 Join the Conversation: Are you someone who is deconstructing the lessons of your life prior to coming out? What are your takeaways from this episode? Let's talk about it in the comments! 🔗 Visit our website: Anne-Marie's : [ annemariezanzal.com] 🔗 Follow us on social media: 💠 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/amzanzal 💠 Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/annemariezanzalcoaching/ 💠 Twitter: twitter.com/annemariezanzal 💠LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/annemariezanzalpurposefulempowerment/ You can also tune into this episode of Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/coming-out-beyond-lgbtqia-stories/id1569859569 Spotify: open.spotify.com/show/27kocr4llm6syHKaeX1x9e 👉 Don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe for more inspiring stories and advice on navigating life, love, and everything in between! #LGBTQIA #LGBTQ #Queer #lesbian #sexuality #identity #selfdiscovery #lesbiancommunity #sexualexploration #queerculture #growth #comingout #podcast #lgbtqpodcast ##religiousdeconstruction #faith #lifeaftercomingout #resilience #exmormon #excatholic

    46 min
See All (172)

4.3
out of 5
24 Ratings

About

Coming Out & Beyond is a podcast for women questioning their sexuality later in life — no matter where you are or what your life looks like right now. Maybe you're sitting with a question you've never said out loud. Maybe you fell for a woman or something woke up recently, everything shifted and you can't put it back. Maybe you're untangling years of religious conditioning or compulsory heterosexuality and trying to figure out who you actually are underneath all of that. Whatever brought you here — this space is for you. Hosted by Anne-Marie Zanzal — Yale Divinity School graduate, ordained progressive minister, grief counselor, and LGBTQ+ coach who came out in midlife — Coming Out & Beyond offers real conversations, emotional clarity, and grounded support for women coming out after 30, 40, 50, and beyond. We talk openly about late bloomer experiences, being married with kids and questioning, single and not finding someone who is right for us, catalyst relationships, faith deconstruction, divorce, grief, identity shifts in midlife, and learning to trust the voice inside you that’s getting louder. This isn’t about rushing labels or blowing up your life. It’s about integration. Self-trust. And the kind of community that changes everything. Because women navigating later-in-life coming out do better — emotionally and practically — when they’re not doing it alone. New episodes weekly. Join the conversation on YouTube, and when you’re ready, step inside Authentically Us (https://community.annemariezanzal.com/)— Anne-Marie’s private community for women on this journey. This journey is yours and you are coming home to yourself. https://annemariezanzal.com/maybe-im-not-straight-guide/

Information

You Might Also Like