BraveCo Podcast

BraveCo
  • 4.8 (138)
  • Christianity
  • Updated Weekly

BraveCo Podcast is here to serve a collective of men pursuing wholeness, purpose, and brotherhood.

  1. 3d ago

    237: My Wife Said, "She Feels Like My Mom": Why So Many Husbands Check Out at Home

    I brought my wife on to talk marriage, with a slight emphasis on the man's role. We've been married eleven years, going on twelve, and our story is a little unusual, she came into my life mid-hike, stepping straight into raising my three kids from my first marriage, and now we've got five kids between us. We use that story to unpack one of our favorite analogies: marriage is an empty box, and the only thing you can pull out of it is what you've actually put in. Most people think marriage is going to solve their problems or fix their loneliness, but the truth is marriage exposes whatever cracks are already in your foundation, and taking ownership of yourself is the first and most important skill for building something healthy. We get really honest about our own early years, including the alarm I used to set on my phone that just said "the house has needs," and how I realized that if I didn't want my wife to feel like my mom, I had to take responsibility instead of waiting to be told what needed doing. We talk about how there's no universal standard of "shoulds" in a marriage, everybody's definition of responsible comes from how they were raised, and how learning to make what matters to your spouse actually matter to you is a skill, not an instinct. We also get into a striking statistic about how a husband coming to faith is far more likely to bring the whole family along than if a wife or child does first, which speaks to just how much of a catalyst a man is for the emotional and spiritual direction of his home. We close out with practical tools for anyone who didn't grow up with a healthy model for any of this: get a counselor, get into a community of healthy men who will call you up instead of enabling you, and stop carrying secrets, because what you hide defines you, while what you bring into the light sets you free. I also bring in John Gottman's research on the "four horsemen" that can predict with striking accuracy whether a marriage will succeed or fail, and why resentment and unforgiveness are so dangerous once they take root. At the end of the day, the goal isn't just a peaceful marriage, it's a connected one, and that takes both people willing to take ownership. Thanks for listening, guys, stay brave, and we'll see you next week. Chapters: 00:00 – Intro 04:50 – The Marriage Box 09:40 – Who's Better at Taking Ownership in Our Marriage?  14:38 – "She Feels Like My Mom" 19:28 – The System That Never Gets Set Up  24:20 – When Dad Never Showed Weakness  29:11 – Why Counseling Isn't a Lifetime Sentence  34:06 – The Pressure of Being the Only One Who Knows  38:55 – The Man as Catalyst 43:46 – The Four Horsemen CONNECT WITH BRAVECO Join Our Free Community for Men (ladies, sign up your man): https://www.braveco.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/braveco.men Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/braveco.men/ Shop: https://shop.braveco.org/ ABOUT BRAVECO: We live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.

  2. Sep 8

    236: Does the Bible Talk About M*sturbation? Why Every Man Needs a Dopamine Detox

    On this episode of the BraveCo Podcast, I'm joined by my great friend Cole Zick, director of Moral Revolution alongside his wife, for our monthly conversation about what it actually means to be a man. This time we're tackling a topic most guys avoid talking about out loud: managing your sex drive. Cole and I get into why so many men in ministry and in everyday life are frustrated by their sex drive and even afraid of it, and we make the case that God didn't give you that drive as a curse to manage but as a gift with a real purpose behind it, one built to point you toward your spouse, the one person in your life you actually get to choose. We go deep on what it looks like to train that appetite well, comparing it to learning to manage desires for money, cars, and comfort long before marriage even enters the picture, and we get surprisingly direct about what the Bible does and doesn't say about masturbation, including an unexpected Old Testament verse that shows God cared enough about this appetite to draw hard lines around it a long time ago. Cole also opens up about his own story, ten years of a sexually active marriage followed by a divorce that took him overnight to zero, and the blunt advice a mentor gave him about staying clean until he remarried. From there we talk honestly about how much harder purity gets for single men, the loneliness that comes with it, and why setting your expectations ahead of time changes everything. We close out with some of the most practical tools in the whole conversation: how a dopamine detox, through fasting, exercise, and real human connection, can reset a brain that's been leaning on quick hits for too long, why owning your insecurity out loud with the people you're dating matters more than hiding it, and why building a group of men who are actually pursuing strength alongside you is the difference-maker Cole keeps coming back to. If you've ever felt like something is wrong with you because of your sex drive, I hope this conversation helps you see it differently. Thanks for listening, guys, stay brave, and we'll see you next week. Chapters: 00:00 – Why Men Fear Their Sex Drive  06:15 – God's Vision for Sex: Your Spouse Is the One You Choose  12:33 – Self-Servicing vs. Real Intimacy With Your Wife  18:43 – Training Your Appetite Young: Lessons in Managing Desire  25:03 – Does the Bible Talk About Masturbation?  31:14 – From 10 Years Active to Zero Overnight: Cole's Divorce Story 37:31 – Fighting for Purity as a Single Man  43:43 – The Dopamine Detox: Fasting, Exercise, and Connection  49:59 – The Vulnerable Text: Owning Your Own Insecurity  56:20 – Building a Brotherhood of Real Accountability CONNECT WITH BRAVECO Join Our Free Community for Men (ladies, sign up your man): https://www.braveco.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/braveco.men Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/braveco.men/ Shop: https://shop.braveco.org/ ABOUT BRAVECO: We live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.

  3. Sep 1

    235: Kathy Vallotton - Casting Out Demons in Our Living Room & Smuggled Bibles Into Communist China

    This week on the podcast, I brought on my favorite guest of all time: my mom. I wanted to sit down with her and dig into some of the wildest stories from my childhood, the ones I've never really told on this show before, starting with the night a demon-possessed teenager showed up at our home group and my parents accidentally launched a deliverance ministry that would define our family for years. My mom walks me through it in her own words, along with the story of Tracy Evans, a missionary who survived being shot at, shipwrecked, and hunted in the Philippines, and who later brought a young woman, the spiritual daughter of Anton LaVey, to live in our house. From there we get into some of the most intense moments of my upbringing: a manifestation that turned violent and sent my mom running for her life, my sister Jamie's terrifying medical crisis when she started having seizures as a kid, and the time my two older sisters, ages 12 and 14, were sent to smuggle Bibles into Communist China, one of them getting interrogated for hours and the other getting separated from her group in the middle of the night. My mom also opens up about the hardest financial season of their lives, losing their business, owing 1.8 million dollars, and watching God provide through a string of miracles that included a banker forgiving their debt in tears. We close the conversation talking about her Parkinson's diagnosis seven years ago and how she refused to let it define her, choosing instead to go elk hunting at 500 yards, harvest a black bear with a crossbow, and keep showing up for life instead of shrinking back. This episode is really a tribute to her, to her faith, her grit, and the way she and my dad lived out the gospel in real, messy, unglamorous ways long before it was something either of them had figured out. If this episode encourages you, give your own mom a call, and if you enjoyed it, like, comment, subscribe, and share it with someone who needs to hear it. Stay brave. Chapters: 00:00 – Meet My Mom  06:36 – The Night Deliverance Ministry Was Born  13:14 – Taking In Anton LaVey's Daughter 19:54 – Growing Up Surrounded by Angels and Demons  26:31 – When "Susan" Turned Violent 33:13 – My Sister's Terrifying Seizure and a Demonic Attack  39:51 – Smuggling Bibles Into Communist China as Kids  46:28 – Leaving Weaverville and Losing Everything in Bankruptcy  53:05 – The Miracle That Saved Us From $1.8 Million in Debt  59:41 – Parkinson's, Hunting Adventures, and a Tribute to Mom CONNECT WITH BRAVECO Join Our Free Community for Men (ladies, sign up your man): https://www.braveco.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/braveco.men Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/braveco.men/ Shop: https://shop.braveco.org/ ABOUT BRAVECO: We live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.

  4. Aug 25

    234: Why Every Real Man Needs His Faith Tested (Not Protected From It)

    If you've ever felt overwhelmed, triggered, or flooded by your emotions and reached for every tool in the book to regulate them, this episode is for me as much as it's for you. As a pastor and counselor, I talk a lot about self-awareness, objectivity, and positive self-talk, and those tools genuinely matter. But in this episode I want to hand you something bigger than a tool: a complete shift in how you interpret the season you're in. I walk through what I imagine an hour-long coaching session with God would sound like, and why a man whose faith has never been tested is a weak man. Using James 1 as a life verse, I break down why endurance, whether physical, emotional, or spiritual, is the only real process for growing into a stronger, more mature man. From there I get into the gym metaphor I use constantly with the guys in my life: nobody goes to the gym and calls themselves weak because the weights feel heavy. Resistance is the whole point. I talk about Jocko Willink's "Good" mindset, why we've been sold propaganda that life is supposed to be easy, and how living from a place of victory beats fighting for victory every single day. Then I get into the second, and honestly more foundational, key: how you see God. I dig into the moment Jesus was baptized and the Father declared, "This is my son in whom I am well pleased," before Jesus had performed a single miracle, and what that means for those of us who think we have to earn God's love through performance. I close out the episode with the great exchange from Philippians 4, trading our anxiety for God's peace, and why rejoicing isn't denial but actually a "cheat mode" that puts us into testimony mode, the spirit of prophecy that gives other people hope. I finish with a prayer over every man and woman listening, especially those carrying wounds from an absent father or a hard past, that this would be a season of breakthrough and restoration. If this episode encourages you, I'd love for you to rate, review, and share it with someone who needs it. Stay brave. Chapters: 00:00 – Welcome 03:02 – The Life Hack That Beats Every Emotional Regulation Tool  06:11 – Built Up, Not Broken Down 09:14 – The Gym Metaphor 12:19 – Living From Victory Instead of Fighting for It  15:20 – The Second Key 18:23 – What Jesus's Baptism Teaches Us About God's Love  21:25 – Practical Steps to a Deeper Connection With God  24:35 – The Great Exchange 27:36 – A Prayer for Breakthrough and Restoration CONNECT WITH BRAVECO Join Our Free Community for Men (ladies, sign up your man): https://www.braveco.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/braveco.men Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/braveco.men/ Shop: https://shop.braveco.org/ ABOUT BRAVECO: We live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.

  5. Aug 18

    232: Why Men Are Terrified of Their Emotions & How to Deal with Anxiety & Depression: Dr. Margaret Nagib

    I sit down with Dr. Margaret Nagib, a clinical psychologist and one of my most trusted friends, for a conversation I've wanted to have for a long time: how do you actually work through anxiety and depression as a man? Margaret breaks down why so many of us are struggling right now, from information overload to unprocessed childhood trauma, and explains what's really happening in your body and brain when you hit your window of tolerance. We get into the COVID season specifically, including her own story of telling God "I'm done" with the news, and how that moment shaped the way she now helps her clients regulate their emotions. The heart of this episode is a tool Margaret taught me that genuinely changed my life: recognize, relabel, refocus. I share exactly how I used radical thankfulness to pull myself out of anxiety spirals during one of the hardest seasons of my life, tapering off medication I'd been on for eight years while caring for a newborn. Margaret explains why fighting anxious thoughts only makes them louder, why distraction is actually a healthy tool, and why "it's not me, it's anxiety" became the phrase that finally let me detach from the spiral instead of getting swept up in it. We also go deep on depression, including the medical side I didn't expect, like a severe vitamin D deficiency that mimicked major depressive symptoms, and I open up about a recent surgery that triggered a spiral of hopelessness I had to consciously fight my way out of. Margaret closes with the psychology of hope, the story of the rats who kept swimming, and why every man needs a "hope holder" in his life when he can't hold onto hope himself. If you've ever felt like anxiety or depression was something only you were dealing with, this conversation is for you. Chapters: 0:00 – Meet Dr. Margaret Nagib 6:04 – COVID Overload: When the News Became Too Much 12:06 – Why Men Are Taught to Suppress Their Emotions 18:07 – Anxiety Isn't a Problem to Solve, It's a Spiral to Exit 24:12 – Avoidance, Trauma, and Why We Run From Emotion 30:14 – The Power of Radical Thankfulness to Break Anxiety 36:15 – Mapping Your Anxiety Triggers Before They Hit 42:20 – Vitamin D, Medication, and the Medical Side of Depression 48:21 – Jason's Surgery Story: Catching Depression Before It Spirals 54:27 – Agency, Hope, and Finding Your "Hope Holder" Dr. Margaret Nagib is a speaker, author, and clinical Psychologist. In this episode, Jay and Margaret explain how to deal with anxiety and depression. You will be better equipped to respond to your triggers and regulate your emotions. Episode Notes: - We experience anxiety and depression when we are beyond our capacity to cope. - One of the most powerless feelings for a man is wanting to help someone without knowing how to help them. - Avoidance is a symptom of trauma - Hope is the overall perception that a goal can be met - A person filled with hope has high agency (belief in yourself) and multiple pathways (ways to get where you want to go) Margaret's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/margaretnagib/ CONNECT WITH BRAVECO Join Our Free Community for Men (ladies, sign up your man): https://www.braveco.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/braveco.men Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/braveco.men/ Shop: https://shop.braveco.org/ ABOUT BRAVECO: We live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.

  6. Aug 11

    231: How to Turn Your Son Into a Man: A Father's Complete Guide

    This week I brought on my good friend Cole, who's raising three boys and a daughter, to dig into something that's been on my heart for a long time: how do we actually turn a boy into a man? We get into the real, practical side of fatherhood, from a flag football cheating scandal that turned into a life lesson on his sideline, to the conversation I had with my own son about learning to think and problem-solve instead of having every issue solved for him. Cole and I talk about how "becoming a man" isn't a single moment, it's language and intentionality threaded through everyday interactions, from sports to chores to the hard conversations nobody wants to have. We also get into why so many kids today grow up feeling unnecessary instead of needed, tracing the shift from the agricultural age, where a child's contribution literally put food on the table, all the way to today's information age, where kids can go their whole childhood without ever feeling essential to the family. I share the story of building what we call a family "ethos," teaching my kids what it means to be a Valentin, and how identity like that shapes behavior far more than rules ever could. And then I get real about one of the hardest seasons of my life as a dad: the moment my 17-year-old son decided to move out because he wanted more responsibility, and what happened over the year that followed, spaghetti dinners, blown budgets, and all. This conversation isn't about having it all figured out. It's about being willing to pay the personal price it takes to disciple your kids well, even when it costs you a practice, a peaceful evening, or your own comfort. If you're a dad in the thick of raising boys, or even if your kids are grown and you're wondering how you can still show up for the young men around you, this episode is for you. And don't forget, our Foundations of Masculinity course and our Sexuality and Relationships course are both completely free at braveco.org. Thanks for listening, and we'll see you next week. Chapters: 00:00 - Intro: Why Masculinity Matters Today 02:00 - The Role of a Father in Training Sons 05:10 - Teaching Responsibility: A Father’s Approach 08:35 - Sports as a Tool for Life Lessons 13:20 - How Vision Shapes Responsibility in Young Men 16:40 - Creating a Family Ethos 22:15 - Sacrifice as a Parent: The Cost of Discipleship 30:00 - Letting Your Kids Learn Through Challenges 36:10 - Navigating Tough Conversations with Teens 42:00 - Free Tools to Support Fathers and Mentors Connect with Cole Zick: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/colezick/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/cczick CONNECT WITH BRAVECO Join Our Free Community for Men (ladies, sign up your man): https://www.braveco.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/braveco.men Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/braveco.men/ Shop: https://shop.braveco.org/ ABOUT BRAVECO: We live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.

  7. Aug 4

    230: What Happened to Men Since the 1960s Sexual Revolution Will Shock You

    This episode is lesson one from our Foundations of Masculinity course. I start with a true story out of Kruger National Park in 1993, where wildlife officials relocated a group of young male elephants without any older males to guide them. Within a few years, rangers started finding endangered white rhinos brutally killed, not by poachers, but by these juvenile elephants who had no elder to show them how to act. The second they flew in a few older bull elephants, the chaos stopped. When I first heard that story, it hit me like a truck, because it's exactly what's happening to men in our culture today. From there, I trace how we got here, starting with the sexual revolution of the 1960s and Woodstock's "free love" philosophy, and how removing responsibility and courtship from relationships between men and women actually backfired, leading to a massive spike in fatherlessness that's still wrecking families today. I break down the real difference between being male, being masculine, and being a manly man, and why manhood isn't something you're born with, it's something that has to be poured into you by other men. I also get personal, sharing my own dad's story of growing up without a father and how my grandfather, a hardworking farmer, shaped an entire ethos around what it means to be a man, even without ever using the word "masculinity." By the end of this episode, I dig into what Scripture actually says about a man's role, starting in Genesis, and I talk honestly about the different but equally valuable roles men and women carry, using some pretty relatable stories from my own marriage and home along the way. If you've ever felt confused about what it means to be a man in today's world, or if you've caught yourself acting more like a "man boy" chasing short-term gratification instead of long-term reward, this episode is for you. I close it out with a prayer over every man listening. Thanks for tuning in, and if this episode hits home, share it with a friend who needs to hear it. Stay brave, and we'll see you next week. Chapters: 00:00 – Welcome 04:09 – The Elephant Story: What It Teaches Us About Fatherless Men 08:11 – The Sexual Revolution's Broken Promise 12:22 – Toxic Masculinity vs. True Manhood: The Confusion Today 16:32 – What Manliness Really Means: Jesus as the Model 20:42 – Man Boys: When Selfishness Never Grows Up 24:54 – My Grandfather's Farm: A Lesson in Manly Work Ethic 29:01 – The Sump Pump Story: A Man's God-Given Responsibility 33:12 – Different Roles, Equal Value: Men and Women by Design 37:17 – Don't Suppress Your Masculinity: A Prayer for Every Man CONNECT WITH BRAVECO Join Our Free Community for Men (ladies, sign up your man): https://www.braveco.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/braveco.men Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/braveco.men/ Shop: https://shop.braveco.org/ ABOUT BRAVECO: We live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.

  8. Jul 27

    229: John Eldredge | The 6 Stages Every Man Must Pass Through & How to Actually Hear the Voice of God

    This episode comes straight from our BraveCo conference. John open's by walking through one of my favorite overlooked stories in Scripture: the resurrection morning where Jesus spends his first hours back from the dead playing what can only be described as practical jokes on his closest friends. If you've never noticed Jesus's sense of humor in the text, I promise once you see it, you can't unsee it, and it changes how you relate to Him. From there, John lays out a framework I've spent years developing: the masculine journey through the stages of beloved son, cowboy, warrior, lover, king, and sage. John uses David and Goliath, stories from his own life growing up on my grandfather's cattle ranch, and even a scene from Kingdom of Heaven to show how God doesn't just drop courage and identity on us out of nowhere. He initiates us through real experiences, one stage at a time, and most of us are walking around as unfinished men still needing to be built up in one of these areas, whether that's beloved-ness, adventure, the fight with our enemy, or learning to truly know our wife's heart. The second half of this talk is where John get's really practical, because none of this framework matters if you can't hear your Father's voice for yourself. John shares some of the wildest, most personal stories of God speaking to me, through a nalgene bottle, an underwear tag, and a canceled sermon that turned out to save me from disaster, and then John walk's the room through simple, no-pressure ways to start recognizing his voice in your own life. We close together in a guided time of prayer, facing our fears, asking the Father hard questions, and breaking agreements we've made with the enemy about who we are as men. If you're hungry for more of God and tired of trying to figure life out on your own, this one is for you. Stay brave, and I'll see you next week. Chapters: 00:00 – Welcome 08:04 – You Are a Son 16:20 – How God Initiates Men Through Experience 24:21 – The Beloved Son Stage 32:35 – Eve, Beauty & Why Your Wife Needs God, Not Just You 40:42 – God Isn't as Religious as You Think 48:48 – The Key to Everything 56:59 – How to Actually Hear God Speak 1:05:04 – Facing Your Fears & Letting God In 1:13:14 – Warrior Prayer: Breaking Agreements With the Enemy CONNECT WITH BRAVECO Join Our Free Community for Men (ladies, sign up your man): https://www.braveco.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/braveco.men Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/braveco.men/ Shop: https://shop.braveco.org/ ABOUT BRAVECO: We live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.

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4.8
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About

BraveCo Podcast is here to serve a collective of men pursuing wholeness, purpose, and brotherhood.

Information

  • Creator
    BraveCo
  • Years Active
    2021 - 2026
  • Episodes
    235
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 BraveCo Podcast
  • Show Website
    BraveCo Podcast

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