Just Tea Sundays by Come Abide Here

Bathabile Mthombeni

Just Tea Sundays is a bite of social justice and Racial Intelligence for champions of diversity, equity, inclusion, and belonging. Just Tea Sundays is sponsored by Come Abide Here LLC, the original Racial Intelligence coaching company. Join the live stream conversation on Facebook on Sundays at 4pm Eastern time at https://www.facebook.com/ComeAbideHere. Each episode is available for listening on the first Wednesday after the livestream. We welcome you to Come Abide Here. Come Hungry/Leave Transformed.

  1. 09/01/2021

    Can We Bring Joy to Doing the Work of DEIB Transformation_

    August 29, 2021 S2:E5: Can We Bring Joy to Doing the Work of DEIB Transformation? Whether it is a systemic pattern of failing to promote people on the basis of their group identity, or an inequitable distribution of services or resources in segregated communities that result in economic violence, or a pattern of brutality that leaves specific communities living in fear of those in authority, pain is usually at the root of the situations that compel institutions to initiate DEIB programs. Focusing exclusively on pain can be exhausting and undermine commitments to sustained effort. Is there room for balance? How can one insert joy into work that is often so rooted in sorrow? My guest this week is Kate “Sassy” Sassoon. Sassy has spent over 20 years turning her passion for efficiency, effectiveness, and equity into a thriving consultancy offering facilitation, training, and organizational design to social enterprise organizations. She develops inclusive collaboration frameworks, energetic dialog spaces, and authentic connections. Her work is known for being joyous, empowering, and deeply caring. She brings all that energy and a lifetime of experience with co-ops to the role of Director of Cooperative Membership at Zebra’s Unite Co-op. She holds 2 degrees from UC Berkeley - one in art and one in science, and approaches the world (and the work) with one foot firmly in each. She delights in deep questions, unexpected connections, and doing well by doing good. Please join us this week to talk with Sassy about how to sustain positive energy and joy in the face of trauma and pain. We invite you to Come Abide Here. Come Hungry/Leave Transformed. To contact Sassy for a consultation visit her website: http://www.sassycooperates.org/

    1h 5m

  2. 08/25/2021

    Can Your Organization Change and Stay the Same_

    Have you ever heard of the glass cliff? One of the biggest obstacles against achieving true DEIB in your organization is the expectation that things can change without actually being different. In this installment of our series on resistance to change, we examine the ways that individuals and organizations resist change by trying to keep things the same while going through the motions of change. We use the glass cliff as an example of how this dynamic works and we also identify the one crucial element that must be present for true, substantive, transformative organizational change to happen. Come Abide Here. Come Hungry/Leave Transformed.

    28 min

  3. 08/19/2021

    How to Recognize and Avoid Resistance to Change in Your Organization's Policies

    August 15, 2021 Just Tea Sundays Episode 3: How to Recognize and Avoid Resistance to Change in your Organization’s Policies How is it that a law intended to protect citizens became a tool that allows police officers who use force that is excessive in the opinion of conventional wisdom to be legally absolved of brutality? There are many ways by which an organization can use its policies to resist DEIB change - even unconsciously. In this episode I continue my series on unconscious resistance to DEIB change by looking at how even the best policies with the best intentions can be derailed by one specific area of unconscious bias: Whom your policies center. On today’s show I will talk about why more policies are usually not the answer and I will share the one policy-mindset shift that can neutralize attempts to co-opt your DEIB policies and revolutionize the way your policies function. I invite you to Come Abide Here. Come Hungry/Leave Transformed. How can we work with you? To contact Come Abide Here LLC please visit our landing page: https://www.comeabidehere.com/start-your-transformation-with-come-abide-here

    29 min

  4. 08/15/2021

    3 Steps to Creating Inclusion with Your Colleagues and Friends

    August 8, 2021 Just Tea Sundays Episode 2: 3 Steps for Creating Inclusion with your Colleagues and Friends I was a junior associate at a Wall Street law firm when I experienced my first epiphany about how easy it is to exclude someone on the basis of their identity without even realizing it. In this case, I was part of doing the excluding! My experience opened my eyes to how colleagues can act together to create exclusion without consciously intending to, how we can reinforce exclusion and interpersonal resistance to change once we realize what is happening, and the important role that power plays in the potential consequences of unconscious exclusion. In today’s episode, the second in our series on unconscious resistance to change, I will demonstrate how it is that, as dedicated as you are to making DEIB real in your organization or company, you and your White colleagues can often make this one unconscious decision that results in your colleagues from underrepresented or marginalized communities being (and feeling) excluded. This kind of decision often defies the best intentions of DEIB policies because it happens in split-second, every-day, “normal” ways of being. I will also discuss how greater access to power makes this situation worse. This second episode of Just Tea Sundays will show you how to recognize this one decision that can determine if your organization is inclusive or hostile to your colleagues from marginalized or underrepresented communities and learn three steps that you can take to ensure that you and your colleagues are not part of the problem together. We invite you to Come Abide Here. Come Hungry/Leave Transformed.

    37 min

  5. 08/08/2021

    Are YOU The Problem__ Find and Stop Resistance to Change in 3 Easy Steps

    August 1, 2021 Just Tea Sundays Episode 1: Are YOU The Problem? Find & Stop Resistance to Change in 3 Easy Steps The summer of 2020 resounded with impassioned announcements from companies around the United States that roundly denounced George Floyd’s murder, declared solidarity with Black Lives Matter, and promised sweeping change regarding diversity, equity, inclusion and belonging within the organizations. One year later, how much has actually changed in your organization? Are you doing or still performing? Today’s show examines one aspect of what often stands in the way of achieving substantive change around DEIB: Unconscious intrapersonal resistance to change. Anyone, no matter how committed to DEIB, can unconsciously undermine the change efforts that they champion if they do not identify and address unconscious resistance to the changes they say they support. In this episode of Just Tea Sundays you will learn how to recognize your unconscious resistance to change and how to resolve it. We invite you to Come Abide Here. Come Hungry/Leave Transformed.

    38 min

  6. 07/29/2021

    How to Manage the Pain of Confronting Systemic Racism

    July 25, 2021 How to Manage the Pain of Confronting Systemic Racism Confronting systemic racism can be emotionally exhausting. How do you find strength and inspiration while doing the often painful and frustrating work of detaching from racist systems? This week I am delighted to welcome Doris Cheung to Just Lunch Live. Doris is an amazing artist and a psychologist and she will talk with us about her own experiences as an Asian woman in the United States and share with us strategies for managing the pain of confronting systemic racism. Doris holds a doctoral degree in Developmental Psychology, is happily married, and has a 12-year-old daughter. She was born in Hong Kong and is a fluent speaker of Cantonese, Mandarin, Hakka, and English. She has worked with the underrepresented population in New York City both as a college instructor and a helper in Project Liberty, which aided September 11 victims. An experienced interpreter and interpreter trainer, Ms. Cheung had provided the Mental Health Interpreter Certificate Program and the Cultural Competency Education Program in her role as Cultural Diversity Director at the Mental Health Association of the Southern Tier for almost ten years. She recruited and trained mental health interpreters from various ethnic backgrounds, and conducted cultural competence workshops for mental health providers, recipients, and the general public. She was the recipient of the New York State Office of Mental Health Journey Award in Cultural Competence in 2011. She has also volunteered to be a crisis counselor and been a member of the Sexual Assault Response Team at Crime Victim Assistance Center since 2005. We look forward to sharing tips and strategies for how you can manage the pain of confronting systemic racism. Come Abide Here. Come Hungry/Leave Transformed. Please use the links below if you’d like to get in touch with Doris directly. Xylos Art and Design webpage: https://www.xylosartanddesign.com/ The Healing Creative Spa: https://www.xylosartanddesign.com/healing-creative-spa/

    1h 3m

  7. 07/25/2021

    Discover Your White Identity_ The Just Dinner Experience

    Discover Your White Identity: The Just Dinner Experience We have covered a lot of topics on Just Lunch Live (now evolving into Just Tea Sundays) but one we have not addressed directly in a while is, what, exactly does Come Abide Here do? Why is our tagline “Come Hungry/Leave Transformed”? What can Come Abide Here offer you? In this episode I am thrilled to welcome Chris Day to Just Lunch Live's special Sunday edition. Chris is one of our original guests at Come Abide Here’s flagship opportunity, Just Dinner. We will talk about what being part of Just Dinner was like for her and how that experience continues to contribute to how she approaches thinking about and confronting systemic racism today. Just Dinner is a Come Abide Here virtual gathering that provides a safe and brave space for White people who want to better understand and connect with their identities as White people. During Just Dinner, guests explore what it means to be White in a social system built on White Supremacy. It is a perfect opportunity for White members of diversity committees, community responsibility committees, and organizational leaders who are determined to bring DEIB to their organizations to find connection and inspiration, and develop community with like-minded people. Nurturing social and cultural change requires a mindset that is confidently grounded in self-knowledge, self-acceptance, and dedication to the purpose of DEIB. That mindset ensures that champions of DEIB will be unphased by the strong resistance to change they often encounter in their organizations and communities. Come Abide Here provides Racial Intelligence Coaching dedicated to providing guidance and support for developing a DEIB mindset. We begin with Just Dinner. Come Abide Here. Come Hungry/Leave Transformed.

    1h 4m

  8. 07/18/2021

    What My Parents Taught Me About Out-Smarting Racism

    [Please excuse the poor audio quality. Pretending that you are listening to an Edison phonograph might help]. What My Parents Taught Me about Out-Smarting Racism I cannot think of a time when I was not aware of how structural racism affects . . . well . . . everything. I remember knowing, in my earliest memories, that there was an invisible yet definitely material barrier between me and White people and that the system deemed me inferior. There is a hymn we would sing in church asking the Lord to cleanse us from sin. The refrain was, “Now wash me and I shall be whiter than snow.” I knew that I could never be whiter than snow. I remember feeling strange about being boy crazy in kindergarten because I knew that romantic relationships between us were not allowed. I don’t remember there being any Black boys in my first grade class but there were two brown boys. That was as close to Black as I was going to get so I dutifully picked the object of my attention from between them. My parents did not teach me that. I just . . . knew. What my parents did provide was an excellent example of the sophisticated analytical and strategic approach for defeating structural racism that People of Color must develop in order to not just survive but thrive anyway. Join me this Sunday for a frank conversation with my mother about how she and my father approached teaching me and my siblings to navigate racist structures. This is sure to be a fascinating conversation. Come Abide Here. Come Hungry/Leave Transformed.

    1h 19m
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About

Just Tea Sundays is a bite of social justice and Racial Intelligence for champions of diversity, equity, inclusion, and belonging. Just Tea Sundays is sponsored by Come Abide Here LLC, the original Racial Intelligence coaching company. Join the live stream conversation on Facebook on Sundays at 4pm Eastern time at https://www.facebook.com/ComeAbideHere. Each episode is available for listening on the first Wednesday after the livestream. We welcome you to Come Abide Here. Come Hungry/Leave Transformed.

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