Shades of Love by Anthea Ong

Anthea Ong

Deep. Raw. Calling on love to talk about difficult topics and pressing issues with personal stories. "I think there is nothing more powerful than for us to bring ourselves into the change that we are advocating for.. our personal experience also informs the person(s) we are talking to that there is a human dimension that must be taken care of in the discussion - that this is not just another intellectual talkfest." - Anthea Based on her eponymous book 50 Shades of Love, former parliamentarian and social advocate Anthea brings her own lived experience from a chapter of the book to each episode and invites a guest to share their personal stories on pressing issues of our times. As a shameless treehugger, Anthea delights in pairing a tree to each chapter of her book and shares this with the listeners. This Shades of Love podcast is an invitation to those who dare to care and question 'why am I here?'. Let's explore this journey of Love together. About the host: Anthea Ong is a self-proclaimed mad hatter because of the multiple hats she wears as a former parliamentarian, social advocate and entrepreneur, impact investor, author and former corporate leader. As a Nominated Member of Parliament for the 13th Parliament of Singapore between 2018–2020, she spoke at every parliamentary sitting delivering 36 speeches and raised 120 parliamentary questions on mental health, LGBTQ+, migrant workers, sex workers, youth activism, the digital divide and many less convenient issue. As a social entrepreneur, she founded and co-created communities and social enterprises such as SG Mental Health Matters, Welcome in My Backyard, Hush TeaBar, the WorkWell Leaders Workgroup, A Good Space, Playground of Joy, and Project Yoga-on-Wheels. She also served as President of the Women's Initiative for Ageing Successfully (WINGS) from 2014 to 2017 which helps women embrace ageing with confidence, was the Founding Board Member of Daughters of Tomorrow, a registered charity that provides individualised coaching to vulnerable women and served on committees for National Council of Social Service, National Volunteer and Philanthropy Centre, Social Service Institute and many more. An intrepid traveller across all seven continents including being part of a climate change expedition to Antarctica in 2018, Anthea still says she's just a full-time human, and part-time everything else. Follow us on @50solove on Instagram. www.antheaong.com www.50shadesoflove.org

  1. Episode 1

    STOP with Corinna Lim

    In this episode based on the book chapter called STOP, I invite Corinna Lim to join me in a conversation about gender parity and identity.  "My first thought of who I would like to have a conversation with on this shade of love on gender and identity was of course Corinna Lim. Many know Corinna as a former lawyer and one of Singapore's most prominent women's rights activists for close to 30 years as well as the current Executive Director of Aware, the Association of Women for Action and Research. But most may not know that Corinna is a twin, a former national squash player and also a Fulbright Scholar."  Join us as we share openly about our fathers, the role of fatherhood in perpetuating or eradicating gender inequalities, what is toxic masculinity and what it means to achieve a state of gender parity that both women and men can enjoy.    Also, come find out why the Double Coconut plant in the Singapore Botanic Gardens is paired with this shade of love in the book!     MY INVITATION TO YOU: How have your family history and traditions shaped the way you see the world, and how you live your life?   RESOURCES:  AWARE Women's Care and Sexual Assault Centre https://www.aware.org.sg/womens-care-centre/overview/  SCWO https://www.aware.org.sg/womens-care-centre/overview/  WINGS https://www.wings.sg/  Pave https://www.pave.org.sg/  Babes Pregnancy Crisis Support https://www.babes.org.sg/  PPIS Singapore Muslim Women's Association https://ppis.sg/

  2. Episode 2

    PRETEND with Dr Rayner Tan

    CW: Mental Health, Suicide Ideation, Substance Use In this episode based on the book chapter called PRETEND, I invite Rayner Tan to join me in a conversation about imposter syndrome, identity and youth mental health.  "When I was thinking of who I would love to have a conversation with on this shade of love on our public and personal identities, and how our gender shapes the way we view the world, a dear friend came to mind, Rayner Tan. I first met Rayner at a public health seminar where we were both speaking, and I was very taken to the way he introduced himself to the audience as a gay man. He's the only man I know so far who has 4 cats, ran his own pastry cafe, now still a partner of Patisserie G and also a full time researcher in the Saw See Hock School for Public Health at NUS."  Join us for an exploration on identity, impostor syndrome, youth mental health and self-worth. I come clean about pretending to have a boyfriend in my teenage years because of my defects and discrimination whilst Rayner shares about how he also dealt with feeling like an imposter as a Chinese gay man and how that affected his notions of self-worth.    Also, come find out why the Chinese Banyan is paired with this shade of love in the book!     MY INVITATION TO YOU: How do you value yourself? How does your gender and sexual orientation determine the way you view the world?   RESOURCES:  (For substance use and recovery support) The Green House https://thegreenhouse.sg/  (For LGBTQ+ counselling) Ooga Chaga https://oogachaga.com/ /  Sayoni https://www.sayoni.com/  /  T-project  https://www.thetprojectsg.org/  CHAT https://www.chat.mentalhealth.sg/mobile/about-chat/

  3. Episode 4

    ADAPT with Zulhaqem Zulkifli

    In this episode based on the book chapter called ADAPT, I invite Zulhaqem Zulkifli to join me in a conversation about poverty, dignity and meritocracy.  "When I was thinking of who I would like to have a conversation with on this shade of love regarding dignity, agency and poverty, I immediately thought of my new young friend - Zulhaqem Zulkifli who has an incredible tale of twists and turns and whose father is also central to much of how he has been shaped. Not even 30 yet, Zul has a bagful of experience from sleeping in void decks to collecting cardboards to now studying his Masters in Oxford where he's zooming in for today's conversation. I remember reading about him in the papers because he is clearly newsworthy as a quintessential Singapore boy made-good story and also remembering how proud yet curious I was about his choice to pursue Buddhist studies."  Join us for an exploration on meritocracy and intergenerational social mobility in this honest conversation on the growing class divide in Singapore.    Also, come find out why the Walking Palms is paired with this shade of love in the book!     MY INVITATION TO YOU: How have you adapted yourself in tough situations? What does that say about your values?  RESOURCES:  Project Hills https://www.facebook.com/projecthills/  A Good Space http://www.agoodspace.org/  Social collaborative or socialcollab.sg http://wiki.socialcollab.sg/index.php/Main_Page  CAPE Community for Advocacy & Political Education – a student-run organisation based at Yale-NUS College https://cape.commons.yale-nus.edu.sg/

  4. Episode 5

    RISE with Alfian Sa'at

    In this episode based on the book chapter called RISE, I invite Alfian Sa'at to join me in a conversation about the arts and measures of success.   "When I was thinking of who I would like to have a conversation with on this shade of love on success and social acceptance, a friend whom I'm a big fan of was my first thought because the choices he made as a young adult could not have been more different from mine. Prior to that, we would have been seen as following a trajectory that would make all Singaporean parents proud - we both went to neighbourhood primary schools, moved on to top schools and then landed at the National University of Singapore. I finished business school and started my career as a young banker but this friend, Alfian Sa'at who's more than a few years younger than me, attended medical school but chose to take a road less travelled that led him to become one of Singapore's most acclaimed and prolific artists - Alfian is a writer, poet and playwright and currently the resident playwright for theatre group, WildRice."  This is a plain-spoken and enlightening conversation between two people who have had such contrasting life trajectories yet are charmingly similar in the way they have let themselves be led by life to find meaning in arts and community.   Also, come find out why the Tualang tree is paired with this shade of love in the book!     MY INVITATION TO YOU: How do you define success? What is the story you are writing for yourself?  RESOURCES:    WildRice https://www.wildrice.com.sg/   TheatreWorks  http://theatreworks.org.sg/cover/home.htm  The Necessary Stage https://www.necessary.org/  DramaBox http://www.dramabox.org/  Ethos Books https://www.ethosbooks.com.sg/  Epigram Books https://epigrambookshop.sg/

  5. Episode 6

    PARDON with Linda Collins

    CW: Suicide, Youth Mental Health and Abortion   In this episode based on the book chapter called PARDON, I invite Linda Collins to join me to explore the difficult topics of abortion, suicide and youth mental health.  "When I was thinking of who I would trust to have an intimate conversation with on this shade of love of loss and forgiveness that still shakes me, Linda Collins came to mind. I met Linda for the first time with a few mothers a couple of years back. United by the loss of their children to suicide, they founded the Please Stay Movement in Oct 2019. A survivor herself, Linda lost her beloved daughter - Victoria McLeod in 2014 when Victoria was 17. Linda generously shared her loss and grief through her book, Loss Adjustment which she gifted me with a copy at that first meeting. The pain of her loss permeates every page of the book yet the clarity and honesty of her words made it impossible to stop reading. I finished the book in one reading that weekend. Linda is also a copy editor with The Straits Times and has just published a poetic response to Loss Adjustment called Sign Language for the Death of Reason." Join us for an exploration on guilt and forgiveness through a most heartfelt conversation that breaks through the silence and stigma on abortion and suicide.    Also, come find out why the English Yew is paired with this shade of love in the book!   MY INVITATION TO YOU: What guilt do you need to release yourself from in order to move forward? What can you do to forgive yourself?    RESOURCES:  Find out more about the book, Loss Adjustment, at https://www.ethosbooks.com.sg/products/loss-adjustment  Caregivers' Alliance https://www.cal.org.sg/ Samaritans of Singapore  https://www.sos.org.sg/  Please Stay Movement https://www.pleasestaymovement.com/  Child Bereavement Support Group https://www.cbss.sg/  CHAT https://www.chat.mentalhealth.sg/  Shan You Counselling https://www.shanyou.org.sg/

  6. Episode 8

    EXTRICATE and DESTRUCT with Carrie Gill

    In this episode based on the book chapters called EXTRICATE and DESTRUCT, I am joined by Carrie Gill, a friend and lawyer who helped me through my divorce during one of the toughest phases of my life.  "When I met Carrie 14/15 years ago, she was the youngest lawyer to be made partner at her firm at that time before the age of 30. She didn't just act for me as my divorce lawyer but also took on all the litigation matters when the ex-husband sued my company, Knowledge Director. She also went through her own divorce as a mother of two young children about a year later. We used to hang out at bars and clubs after ploughing through volumes of affidavits! Carrie is currently a Partner, Family & Divorce Practice Group at Harry Elias Partnership. " Join us for a discussion exploring topics of shame, domestic violence and  the emotional pain that comes with divorce. We share our perspectives on marriage preparation and role modelling for children in this episode as well. Also, come find out why Cycads and the Giant Kapok Tree are paired with this shade of love in the book!    MY INVITATION TO YOU:  When did you stand up for yourself because you were all you've got?  What did you learn from that?   RESOURCES: Legal Aid Bureau https://lab.mlaw.gov.sg/  Law society Pro Bono Services https://www.lawsocprobono.org/pages/contact-us.aspx  SCWO Legal Clinic https://www.scwo.org.sg/what-we-do/services/legal-clinics/  Star Shelter https://www.scwo.org.sg/what-we-do/services/star-shelter/

  7. Episode 9

    TURN with Zakir Hossain Khokan

    In this episode based on the book chapter called TURN, I am joined by Zakir Hossain Khokan, a poet and author, also a fellow migrant worker to explore the conversation of gratitude and renewal. "When I was thinking of who I would like to have a conversation with on this shade of love on loss and turnarounds, I immediately thought of my friend - Zakir Hussain Khokan. I first met Zakir a good number of years back when he attended one of the Hush Teabar community sessions. Zakir was a journalist in Dhaka Bangladesh before he left for Singapore to join the construction industry here in 2003, that's 18 years ago! He won the first Migrant Workers' Poetry Competition, and became a strong voice for the migrant community. He was featured in the media, at the Singapore Writers' Festival, at TEDx Singapore, and on other platforms but he wanted to do more for the scene. Monir Ahmod and you edited Migrant Tales (2017), an anthology of poems by migrant Bengali poets in Singapore. He also started to establish a migrant writers community called 'Migrant Writers of Singapore' and started 'Carnival of Poetry', a monthly reading session with the support of Sing Lit Station which brings local and migrant poets together. He said poetry is like oxygen for him!" Join us as we discuss gratitude, resilience, loss and turnarounds, and how both of us experienced losing everything, to finding ourselves in the end.  Also, come find out why the splendid Tapia shrub is paired with this shade of love in the book!   MY INVITATION TO YOU:  How different would your life be if you focus on what you have instead of what you don't have? What is your "have" list? RESOURCES Migrant Writers of Singapore, One Bag, One Book, Migrant Workers Photography Festival - 2nd edition in Sep  https://www.giving.sg/singlit-station/onebagonebook  Migrant Library Singapore  https://www.facebook.com/pages/category/Library/Migrant-Library-Singapore-151309755494905/  Dibashram https://dibashrammock.wordpress.com/  Welcome in My Backyard https://www.wimby.sg/  TWC2 https://twc2.org.sg/  HealthServe https://www.healthserve.org.sg/our-centres/

  8. Episode 10

    SEEK with Imran Taib

    In this episode based on the book chapter called SEEK, I am joined by Imran Taib, a philosopher and an interfaith and multiculturalism expert to explore the realm of religion and spirituality with empathy and curiosity.  "When I was thinking of who I would like to have a conversation with on this shade of love on religion, spirituality and humanity, I immediately thought of my learned friend whom I enjoy these conversations of spirituality and religion with - he's none other than Mohamed Imran Mohamed Taib.  Imran already had a sterling reputation as one of Singapore's foremost interfaith and multiculturalism experts when I first reached out to him to meet after stepping down from Parliament. I was then increasingly concerned with some of the right wing and conservative ideas that I was hearing from certain religious groups and wanted to understand more from him. You know how you conjure up these images of religious scholars with long beards and robes? Imran completely disappoints when he showed up looking no different to my kawans from the neighbourhood. In fact, when I later moderated the Civil Society conversation after the general elections in 2020, I asked all the 9 panelists of which Imran was one of them to describe themselves in a 7-word biography - his first attempt was "Enjoys robust conversations over teh tarik" - how interesting is that?  Imran is also the co-founder of Centre for Interfaith Understanding or CIFU which strives to strengthen the multi-religious fabric that weaves all of Singapore together by advocating for deeper discourse among various faiths through dialogue, training and curriculum development." Join us as we explore the difference between spirituality, religion and culture, topped with our personal stories of our path to discover our versions of religion.  Also, come find out why the Epiphyte is paired with this shade of love in the book!   MY INVITATION TO YOU: What does religion and spirituality mean to you? Is there a difference? What beliefs help you move forward and what holds you back?   RESOURCES: IRO or the Interreligious Organisation   https://iro.sg/about-iro/  Youth-oriented groups such as  Being Bridges, https://beingbridges.com/  Roses of Peace https://rosesofpeace.com/  Interfaith Youth Circle https://www.interfaithyouthcircle.com/  More than Just https://www.buro247.sg/culture/buro-loves/more-than-just-race-racism-dinner-singapore.html  Minority Voices https://www.minorityvoices.net/team  Beyond the Hijab https://beyondhijab.sg/

  9. Episode 11

    THRIVE with Stephane de Montlivault

    In this episode based on the book chapter called THRIVE, I am joined by  Stephane de Montlivault, Asia Pacific President of OTIS.   "When I was thinking of who I would like to have a conversation with on this shade of love, more than a few leaders I know came to mind yet I don't think we can talk about thriving without discussing the climate and mental health crisis that we are facing, and unpacking the responsibility and purpose of leadership. So my friend, Stephane de Montlivault, came to mind. Stephane is French but has not lived in France for 2/3 of his life, he now lives in Singapore with his Singaporean wife Ivy, daughter Aimee and son Alban. He shared with me how he constantly craves to expand his purpose in life, through and beyond family and career. And we both share a deep conviction in championing workplace mental wellbeing as a leadership priority at the WorkWell Leaders community of CEOs and leaders that I started 3 years ago. Stephane is also the Asia Pacific President of Otis, yes the 167 year old elevator company founded and listed in New York."   Join us on a discovery of thriving in balance, complete leadership and corporate stewardship. We dive deep into our childhood and how it has shaped our views of the world, followed by a discussion on authentic leadership, business as a force for good and sustainability, and sustainability initiatives in businesses. Also come find out why the Olive Tree is paired with this shade of love in the book!   MY INVITATION TO YOU:   What do people thank you for?  What can you give yourself more credit for?   RESOURCES:   WorkWell Leaders http://www.workwellleaders.org/  A Good Space http://www.agoodspace.org/  Company of Good https://www.companyofgood.sg/  Community Foundation https://www.cf.org.sg/  Community Chest https://www.comchest.gov.sg/

  10. Season 1 Trailer

    Shades of Love with Anthea Ong Trailer

    Deep. Raw. Calling on love to talk about difficult topics and pressing issues with personal stories.  "I think there is nothing more powerful than for us to bring ourselves into the change that we are advocating for.. our personal experience also informs the person(s) we are talking to that there is a human dimension that must be taken care of in the discussion - that this is not just another intellectual talkfest." - Anthea Based on her eponymous book 50 Shades of Love, former parliamentarian and social advocate Anthea brings her own lived experience from a chapter of the book to each episode and invites a guest to share their personal stories on pressing issues of our times. As a shameless treehugger, Anthea delights in pairing a tree to each chapter of her book and shares this with the listeners.  This Shades of Love podcast is an invitation to those who dare to care and question 'why am I here?'. Let's explore this journey of Love together.   About the host:  Anthea Ong is a self-proclaimed mad hatter because of the multiple hats she wears as a former parliamentarian, social advocate and entrepreneur, impact investor, author and former corporate leader. As a Nominated Member of Parliament for the 13th Parliament of Singapore between 2018–2020, she spoke at every parliamentary sitting delivering 36 speeches and raised 120 parliamentary questions on mental health, LGBTQ+, migrant workers, sex workers, youth activism, the digital divide and many less convenient issue. As a social entrepreneur, she founded and co-created communities and social enterprises such as SG Mental Health Matters, Welcome in My Backyard, Hush TeaBar, the WorkWell Leaders Workgroup, A Good Space, Playground of Joy, and Project Yoga-on-Wheels. She also served as President of the Women's Initiative for Ageing Successfully (WINGS) from 2014 to 2017 which helps women embrace ageing with confidence, was the Founding Board Member of Daughters of Tomorrow, a registered charity that provides individualised coaching to vulnerable women and served on committees for National Council of Social Service, National Volunteer and Philanthropy Centre, Social Service Institute and many more.  An intrepid traveller across all seven continents including being part of a climate change expedition to Antarctica in 2018, Anthea still says she's just a full-time human, and part-time everything else.  Follow me on @anthea.ong and @50solove on Instagram.  www.antheaong.com  www.50shadesoflove.org

    Shades of Love with Anthea Ong Trailer

Trailer

About

Deep. Raw. Calling on love to talk about difficult topics and pressing issues with personal stories. "I think there is nothing more powerful than for us to bring ourselves into the change that we are advocating for.. our personal experience also informs the person(s) we are talking to that there is a human dimension that must be taken care of in the discussion - that this is not just another intellectual talkfest." - Anthea Based on her eponymous book 50 Shades of Love, former parliamentarian and social advocate Anthea brings her own lived experience from a chapter of the book to each episode and invites a guest to share their personal stories on pressing issues of our times. As a shameless treehugger, Anthea delights in pairing a tree to each chapter of her book and shares this with the listeners. This Shades of Love podcast is an invitation to those who dare to care and question 'why am I here?'. Let's explore this journey of Love together. About the host: Anthea Ong is a self-proclaimed mad hatter because of the multiple hats she wears as a former parliamentarian, social advocate and entrepreneur, impact investor, author and former corporate leader. As a Nominated Member of Parliament for the 13th Parliament of Singapore between 2018–2020, she spoke at every parliamentary sitting delivering 36 speeches and raised 120 parliamentary questions on mental health, LGBTQ+, migrant workers, sex workers, youth activism, the digital divide and many less convenient issue. As a social entrepreneur, she founded and co-created communities and social enterprises such as SG Mental Health Matters, Welcome in My Backyard, Hush TeaBar, the WorkWell Leaders Workgroup, A Good Space, Playground of Joy, and Project Yoga-on-Wheels. She also served as President of the Women's Initiative for Ageing Successfully (WINGS) from 2014 to 2017 which helps women embrace ageing with confidence, was the Founding Board Member of Daughters of Tomorrow, a registered charity that provides individualised coaching to vulnerable women and served on committees for National Council of Social Service, National Volunteer and Philanthropy Centre, Social Service Institute and many more. An intrepid traveller across all seven continents including being part of a climate change expedition to Antarctica in 2018, Anthea still says she's just a full-time human, and part-time everything else. Follow us on @50solove on Instagram. www.antheaong.com www.50shadesoflove.org