Today we’re talking to Hakeem Bourne Mcfarlane Hakeem’s story: “I don’t come from a clean origin story.I come from a real one. I grew up an only child inside addiction, instability, and silence. My parents loved me but they were fighting their own demons and I learned early how to self-regulate, self-soothe, and self-protect. I was mixed race, never fully fitting in anywhere, always adapting, always observing, always trying to earn belonging instead of feeling it. The Sports Field was where I thrived and was appreciated. Then my little brother arrived when I was 10 and for six years, I finally knew purpose outside myself. When he died from cancer, something in me hardened. Grief turned into anger, anger turned into defiance, authority felt unsafe. The structure felt like control. I carried that fracture into sports, chasing identity through performance. I went Division I… then Division II… then Division III. I dropped out. My body broke: five knee surgeries, chronic pain, identity collapse. With no structure left, I spiraled. Addiction followed—substances, chaos, numbing, distraction. I was able to pull myself out to receive my bachelors and 2 years as an all american collegiate football player. Eventually after sports were gone, the suppressed anger and loss of identity led to incarceration. That was the moment I couldn’t outrun anymore. I didn’t get saved. I got honest. Recovery wasn’t just sobriety.. it was rebuilding my life from systems, not slogans. I learned how triggers reveal patterns, how the environment shapes identity, and how discipline can be a form of self-respect instead of punishment. I built what became the Choose Yourself process: foundation before motivation, structure before freedom, integrity before identity. I transitioned into sales, partnered with my uncle in a liquor company. I learned how pressure reveals character and eventually moved to Manhattan as top salesman in the company... not to escape my past but to integrate it into my future. That’s where Choose Yourself became a movement not just a method. Today, I speak from lived cycles: collapse, rebuild, test, refine. I don’t inspire from theory... I translate pain into process. My story resonates with people who’ve fallen off the path, questioned authority, battled addiction, lost family, rebuilt bodies, rebuilt belief, and are ready to stop repeating patterns with better excuses. If your audience values truth over polish, accountability over comfort, and hope that’s earned- not borrowed - I don’t just tell my story. I help people recognize theirs and choose themselves before life chooses for them.” Connect with Hakeem: https://chooseyourself.info/ https://www.instagram.com/bigdreamhakeem/ What resonated most with you? DM me on IG www.instagram.com/liveintechnicolor_ If you enjoyed this episode, leave a rating and a review. Remember - you’re amazing and thank you for being here! With Love, Baiba Support the show
