An Evolving Man Podcast

Piers Cross
  • 5.0 (3)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Biweekly

An Evolving Man Podcast explores leadership, emotional intelligence, trauma, healing and peak performance. Hosted by Piers Cross, the show features conversations with leading psychologists, psychiatrists, executive coaches, authors, researchers and high-performance leaders, alongside solo episodes on leadership, resilience, relationships and personal transformation. Drawing on the latest research in psychology, neuroscience, attachment, trauma and human performance, the podcast helps leaders develop greater self-awareness, emotional intelligence and the capacity to lead with clarity, compassion and courage. Whether you are a CEO, founder, entrepreneur or aspiring leader, each episode offers practical insights to help you thrive professionally while creating a more meaningful and connected life.

  1. 13h ago

    Boarding School Syndrome: The Grief We Were Never Allowed to Feel | Piers Cross

    When my wife Michelle died in 2025, I expected grief. What I did not expect was that her death would reconnect me with another loss that had remained hidden for decades. The loss of my mother. The loss of my family. The loss of home. The loss of safety. The loss that began when I was sent away to boarding school. In this deeply personal episode of An Evolving Man Podcast, I explore the striking similarities between bereavement and the boarding school experience. Drawing on the work of Joy Schaverien, Nick Duffell, Peter Sykes and Paul Sunderland, I reflect on why so many ex-boarders struggle with addiction, emotional disconnection, relationship difficulties and unresolved grief. For many children, boarding school was not simply separation. It was bereavement. The difference is that society recognises one form of grief while often denying the other. In this episode we explore: • Why boarding school can be experienced as a profound bereavement • The connection between grief, addiction and emotional suppression • Why ex-boarders often struggle to access their feelings • The impact of losing parents, home and attachment figures at an early age • Joy Schaverien's work on Boarding School Syndrome • Nick Duffell's reflections on British culture and emotional disconnection • Practical ways to process grief safely • How emotional healing supports leadership, relationships and wellbeing If this conversation resonates, please consider liking, subscribing and sharing with someone who may benefit. Website: https://www.piers-cross.com/ #BoardingSchoolSyndrome #Grief #TraumaHealing #Leadership #EmotionalIntelligence #AttachmentTrauma #HealingChildhoodTrauma #AnEvolvingManPodcast --- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.  He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.  He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1  For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross  For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic  For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community  Many blessings,  Piers Cross  http://piers-cross.com/

    12 min
  2. Police Chief: From Ego to Emotional Intelligence: Dr. Ron Camacho on Leadership & Trauma | AEM #161

    5d ago

    Police Chief: From Ego to Emotional Intelligence: Dr. Ron Camacho on Leadership & Trauma | AEM #161

    What happens when a leader confronts their own trauma? In this fascinating conversation, Piers Cross sits down with Dr. Ron Kamacho, police chief, leadership consultant and author, to explore how emotional intelligence transformed his life and leadership. Ron shares his journey from highly driven, ego-based leadership to a more compassionate, accountable and emotionally intelligent approach. Together they discuss:  Childhood trauma and leadership  The father wound and identity  Emotional intelligence in policing  Leadership under pressure  Building healthy organisational culture  Why ego destroys careers  Self-awareness and introspection  Compassion and accountability  Mental health in law enforcement  The future of leadership A deeply honest conversation about what it truly means to lead yourself before leading others. Timestamps (1:03:25)00:00 Introduction to Dr. Ron Kamacho 02:05 Childhood trauma, policing and proving himself 07:30 Therapy, emotional intelligence and transformation 12:15 Leadership lessons from Afghanistan and Mexico 18:00 Humility, ego and personal growth 22:15 Leadership under pressure and SWAT experiences 28:10 Emotional regulation and self-awareness 33:20 Why leaders struggle with self-awareness 39:10 Growth mindset versus fixed mindset 43:45 Building culture through leadership 49:00 Ego kills careers 53:15 Accountability, compassion and leadership 57:30 Trauma, policing and mental health 01:01:00 Ron's book: Bringing Ego to the Forefront 01:03:25 Closing reflections --- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.  He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.  He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1  For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross  For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic  For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community  Many blessings,  Piers Cross  http://piers-cross.com/

    1h 3m

  3. Jun 3

    Prep School vs Public School: Which Was Harder?

    One of the questions I hear most often from former boarders is: "Why did I hate prep school but love public school?" Or sometimes: "Why was public school much harder than prep school?" In this solo episode, I explore the different experiences people report and why those differences may exist. Drawing on stories from Roald Dahl, David Cameron, Ranulph Fiennes, Bear Grylls and John Peel, I examine how children adapt to boarding school environments and why the first boarding experience often has such a profound impact. We discuss homesickness, bullying, adaptation, dissociation, betrayal trauma and the long-term effects of boarding school on identity, relationships and leadership. Whether you attended boarding school yourself or work with those who did, this episode offers important reflections on how early experiences shape adult life. --- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.  He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.  He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1  For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross  For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic  For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community  Many blessings,  Piers Cross  http://piers-cross.com/

    15 min

  4. May 27

    Why Ex-Boarders Struggle With Boundaries | Boarding School Trauma, People Pleasing & Leadership

    Why do so many boarding school survivors struggle with boundaries? In this episode, Piers Cross explores how boarding school conditioning can shape people pleasing, emotional suppression and difficulty saying no later in life. Drawing on trauma theory, attachment work and years of coaching leaders and ex-boarders, Piers explores why boundaries can feel dangerous for many trauma survivors — and why nervous system regulation is essential when learning to hold healthy boundaries. Topics include:  Boarding school and the “complier” survival strategy  Fight, flight, freeze and appease  Why boundaries feel unsafe  Shame, fear and conflict avoidance  Avoidant attachment and trauma  Boundary repair practices  EFT tapping and Havening  Leadership and emotional intelligence  Nervous system regulation and safety Piers also shares practical boundary exercises inspired by Diane Poole Heller’s work on attachment and trauma healing. --- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.  He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.  He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1  For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross  For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic  For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community  Many blessings,  Piers Cross  http://piers-cross.com/

    19 min

  5. May 20

    Why Do We Self Sabotage As Ex-Boarders?

    To register for the webinar: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/why-smart-leaders-still-self-sabotage-identify-and-break-hidden-patterns-tickets-1988408152310 Why do we sabotage the very things we say we want? In this episode, Piers Cross explores self-sabotage through the lens of boarding school survival patterns, trauma, leadership and nervous system regulation. Drawing on Gay Hendricks’ concept of the “Upper Limit Problem,” Piers explains how many ex-boarders unconsciously return themselves to familiar emotional states whenever success, intimacy, joy or uncertainty begin to increase. Topics include:  Boarding school conditioning and emotional suppression  Fight, flight, freeze and dissociation  Why success can feel unsafe  Relationship sabotage  Leadership and emotional regulation  The nervous system and uncertainty  EFT, Havening and mindfulness  Expanding the window of tolerance  Compassionate leadership and healing trauma Piers also shares details about the upcoming free workshop:  Why Smart Leaders Still Self-Sabotage A reflective and experiential leadership workshop exploring unconscious patterns shaping relationships, work and performance.   --- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.  He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.  He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1  For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross  For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic  For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community  Many blessings,  Piers Cross  http://piers-cross.com/

    13 min

  6. May 13

    Polyvagal Theory, Vagus Nerve & Boarding School Trauma

    Here is the link to this Friday's podcast with Sara Warner about the vagus nerve and wearables: https://youtu.be/HpxcTW0oKI8  In this episode, I explore polyvagal theory, the vagus nerve, childhood trauma and boarding school syndrome. Following my recent conversation with Sarah Warner about vagus nerve stimulation, wearables and nervous system regulation, I wanted to look more closely at what polyvagal theory actually means and why it is so relevant for ex-boarders and trauma survivors. The vagus nerve is one of the main communication pathways between the body and the brain. Much of this communication travels from the body up to the brain, which helps explain why we cannot always think or talk our way out of stress. I explore bottom-up regulation, top-down regulation and co-regulation, including breathwork, movement, humming, posture, touch, orienting practices and safe connection. I also reflect on Nick Duffell’s work and how boarding school trauma can affect emotional regulation, attachment, facial reading, intimacy, leadership and our ability to feel safe with others. --- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.  He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.  He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1  For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross  For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic  For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community  Many blessings,  Piers Cross  http://piers-cross.com/

    16 min

  7. May 6

    Why Criticism Feels So Painful for Ex-Boarders

    In this episode, I explore why criticism can feel so painful for those of us who went to boarding school. For many ex-boarders, criticism does not simply feel like feedback. It can feel like danger. It can activate old patterns of shame, fear, compliance, dissociation or defensiveness. I reflect on boarding school conditioning, the fear of getting things wrong, Nick Duffell’s work on wounded leaders, David Cameron’s response to criticism, Rick Hanson’s “Velcro for negativity and Teflon for positivity,” and Martin Seligman’s three Ps: personal, permanent and pervasive. I also share practical ways to regulate the nervous system before responding, and why learning to receive feedback is essential for leadership, intimacy and growth. --- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.  He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.  He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1  For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross  For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic  For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community  Many blessings,  Piers Cross  http://piers-cross.com/

    16 min
  8. Music Therapy, Boarding School Trauma & Healing Through Connection | Helen Odell-Miller | AEM #159

    May 1

    Music Therapy, Boarding School Trauma & Healing Through Connection | Helen Odell-Miller | AEM #159

    In Episode 159 of An Evolving Man Podcast, I’m joined by Professor Helen Odell-Miller OBE, one of the UK’s leading pioneers in music therapy. Helen has spent decades working with trauma, attachment, mental health and emotional healing through music. She also worked closely with the late Joy Schaverien, whose work on boarding school syndrome transformed the conversation around early separation and institutional trauma. In this episode we explore:  What music therapy is and how it works  Why music can help where words cannot  Helen’s own boarding school experience  Joy Schaverien’s ABCD model  Hidden abandonment and dissociation  Why resilience is often misunderstood  How music can support connection, regulation and healing A thoughtful and powerful conversation. --- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.  He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.  He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1  For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross  For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic  For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community  Many blessings,  Piers Cross  http://piers-cross.com/

    1h 2m
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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
3 Ratings

About

An Evolving Man Podcast explores leadership, emotional intelligence, trauma, healing and peak performance. Hosted by Piers Cross, the show features conversations with leading psychologists, psychiatrists, executive coaches, authors, researchers and high-performance leaders, alongside solo episodes on leadership, resilience, relationships and personal transformation. Drawing on the latest research in psychology, neuroscience, attachment, trauma and human performance, the podcast helps leaders develop greater self-awareness, emotional intelligence and the capacity to lead with clarity, compassion and courage. Whether you are a CEO, founder, entrepreneur or aspiring leader, each episode offers practical insights to help you thrive professionally while creating a more meaningful and connected life.

Information

  • Creator
    Piers Cross
  • Years Active
    2021 - 2026
  • Episodes
    308
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 An Evolving Man Podcast
  • Show Website
    An Evolving Man Podcast

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