Parenting Teenagers Untangled: The award-winning podcast for parents of tweens and teens, offering realistic, science-backed

Rachel Richards
  • 5.0 (23)
  • Parenting
  • Updated Weekly

I'm Rachel Richards, Teen Parenting Specialist, former BBC Correspondent, CNBC Europe World News Anchor and mum, on a mission to make parenting teens much less stressful, and even enjoyable.  Do you ever feel like you don’t know what you’re doing? I've experienced that too, so have a big hug from me. Here's the truth. You’re doing better than you think you are. No, really, you are. There’s too much talk about what a parent should be, and how we can optimise and perfect ourselves, and not enough about how well you’re coping in this complicated world as you hold your shizzle together. I mean it, the most important message is that you CANNOT be perfect. You’re going to lose your rag, you’re going to get upset and say stupid things and make mistakes and hate your kids and your partner and your life from time to time. Take it from me, if you’re going to worry about anything make it: ‘Am I being curious enough?’ Asking questions will get you everywhere as a parent of teenagers, and the place to do most of your practice is… yourself and your own thoughts and beliefs. So, welcome, pull up a chair, drop your baggage, and make yourself comfortable. Let’s learn together. The Podcast: A fellow mum begged me to start my podcast because she wanted someone she trusted to help her through the teen years, and I’ll be forever grateful to her because the journey has transformed my own parenting and benefited my family beyond imagination. Here’s the good news, this podcast is free and you can learn everything I learned just by starting at the beginning and going through every episode. If you want to go a bit faster then scroll through and pick subjects that cover what you need right now. If you can’t find what you want then message me and I’ll tell you which one will help you most. If it’s not something I’ve covered then I’m like a dog chasing a stick, so you’ll soon get your answers. My main aim is to help you stop trying to be perfect, or comparing yourself and your kids with others. Your only real job is to focus on getting to know the amazing people you have in your life, loving them unconditionally, and showing them you believe they can do hard things. JOIN ME ON SUBSTACK:For those of you who want more, or who just want to help me feel like the pebbles I have dropped in the ocean of life are making a difference, why not join my paid community? You’ll get one-to-one support and printable PDF’s that give you the top tips from each podcast episode so you have your own little, bespoke manual. ASK ME ANYTHING: I’m very busy behind the scenes reading everything so you don’t have to, and when you subscribe you have the chance to ask me anything. If I don’t know the answer I’ll head out like an eager truffle pig, ready to snuffle out the best for you. COMMUNITY: I’ll be offering regular extras, including tips and thoughts, that help you tune into what matters. All of the community notes, and tips, will remain available to paid subscribers. I want to make this more about fun and less about fear. PDF NOTES: So many listeners say they have rewound the episodes to write down notes, well now there’s no need. Paid subscribers will have a weekly, downloadable, summary of the top tips from each episode, so you don’t have to take notes. Please let me know if there are any old episodes for which you’d like the notes. I’m very happy to supply them. POINTERS: Ask me if there’s something you’re struggling with, I can tell you which episode is most suitable for you, because there are a lot to trawl through.

  1. What Teens Are Trying to Tell Us: The Crisis of Connection and Masculinity

    23h ago

    What Teens Are Trying to Tell Us: The Crisis of Connection and Masculinity

    Ask Rachel anything What are we really telling boys about how to be a man? And why do so many teens seem to be struggling with how to be in the world, from masculinity to friendship, and mental health? In this conversation with Professor Niobe Way (NYU developmental psychologist, author of Deep Secrets and Rebels with a Cause), we dug into 40 years of research with adolescents. Her work is extraordinary because she has done something deceptively simple and radically powerful: She listened to teenagers carefully, over time, and took what they said seriously. What emerges is a completely different story about boys, friendship, and mental health than the one most of us have absorbed from culture, headlines, and even psychology textbooks. Professor Niobe Way Prof Niobe Way: LinkedIn My early episode in which I referenced Niobe's work Ideas covered in this episode Support the show Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit.  You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.  Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com  My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me: www.teenagersuntangled.com Find me on Substack: https://teenagersuntangled.substack.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/ Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/ You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

    58 min
  2. The Hidden Problem of Teen Gambling — and What Parents Can Do

    2d ago

    The Hidden Problem of Teen Gambling — and What Parents Can Do

    Ask Rachel anything There's been an alarming rise of teen gambling, according to Commonsense Media, with half of 16-17-year-old boys reporting gambling in the past year; surpassing alcohol, nicotine, and marijuana use. Commonsense media says 'we're at a pivotal moment for boys' well-being. We can either let gambling become normalized during a critical period of their development, or we can act now—with education, safeguards, and real accountability.' In this episode Dr. Chung highlights the role of gaming, particularly loot boxes and mystery boxes, in priming teen brains for gambling. She emphasizes the ease of access through mobile devices and the influence of social media and celebrity endorsements.  For my full notes on the episode click this link Dr. Chung advises parents to set boundaries, engage in media literacy discussions and stay curious.  She also stresses the importance of recognizing signs of addiction, such as secretive behavior and mood shifts, and the need for companies to be more accountable in protecting minors. Support the show Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit.  You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.  Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com  My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me: www.teenagersuntangled.com Find me on Substack: https://teenagersuntangled.substack.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/ Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/ You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

    33 min
  3. Parenting Thriving Teens using Science

    May 20

    Parenting Thriving Teens using Science

    Ask Rachel anything If you’ve ever looked at your teen glued to a screen, living on junk food, or melting down over “nothing” and thought, What am I doing wrong? — this episode will change how you see everything. In today’s fast-paced, often overwhelming world, understanding how to foster resilience, well-being, and cognitive development is key to raising thriving children Today's guest, Dr Katy Granville-Chapman, author of Growing Minds: The Science of Raising Thriving Teens”, gives us the evidence-based information we parents need to support our children's brain health. She explains: How big tech and junk food companies are hijacking your teen’s dopamine systemWhy your child actually wants to do well (and what keeps derailing them)Simple, science-backed ways to:Get buy-in on screen limits (without endless battles)Use identity-based habits so teens choose healthy behavior themselvesTeach emotional regulation as a skill, not a personality traitCheck your teen’s “body budget” (sleep, movement, food, connection) before assuming there’s a crisisWhy kindness and contribution are secret superpowers for teen resilienceAnd the one message every guilty, overwhelmed parent needs to hear: it’s never too late, and you’re doing better than you think.Listen now and learn how to move from nagging and panic… to mentoring your teen so they can truly flourish. Find the top tips here DISCOUNT CODE ON PRE-ORDERS OF KATY'S NEW BOOK:  Click this link and use the code UNTANGLED25 Katy Granville-Chapman: Support the show Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit.  You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.  Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com  My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me: www.teenagersuntangled.com Find me on Substack: https://teenagersuntangled.substack.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/ Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/ You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

    44 min
  4. Prepare for the Inevitable: The Guide to Grief for Parents of Tweens and Teens

    May 13

    Prepare for the Inevitable: The Guide to Grief for Parents of Tweens and Teens

    Ask Rachel anything Parenting tweens and teens is challenging enough, but when someone in the family becomes seriously ill or dies, it can feel overwhelmingly difficult. In all honesty, we Westerners are terrible at talking about death, often avoiding it, so when it comes to talking with teenagers about the subject most of us don't feel equipped. Many who have suffered a loss, or are suffering a serious illness will tell you that friends often fall away just at the time when they are most valued, because they're embarrassed or uncomfortable about the situation. In this episode we draw on research, personal experience - and some incredible listener feedback - to discuss how to deal with a serious illness or death when you're raising a teen. We pass on some amazing tips that have made all the difference, and also some awful 'what not to do's'. The episode is dedicated to the wonderful mum, Sophie Baker and her loving husband and boys, who did an amazing job in very difficult circumstances. Get the ToolKit Top Tips from this episode here BOOKS: When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi The Bright Hour by Nina Riggs You Can Stop Humming Now by Daniela Lamas Being Mortal by Atul Gawande Smoke gets in your Eyes by Caitlin Doughty The Choice by Edith Eger   Support for kids and young people who are bereaved: https://winstonswish.org/ https://hospiceofnorthidaho.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Supporting-a-Teen-When-Someone-is-Seriously-Ill.pdf https://www.hospiscare.co.uk/how-we-help/advice-support/children-and-young-people/how-to-talk-about-death-with-children-and-teenagers/https://thegoodgriefproject.co.uk/ https://yourteenmag.com/health/teenager-mental-health/how-to-talk-about-death https://whatsyourgrief.com/helping-a-teenager-deal-with-grief-2/ https://elunanetwork.org/resources/talking-to-teens-and-children-about-illness-and-death https://www.strong4life.com/en/emotional-wellness/emotional-expression/talking-to-kids-and-teens-about-death https://www.todaysparent.com/family/talking-about-death-with-kids/ https://www.winstonswish.org/support-a-grieving-teenager/ https://www.childbereavementuk.org/information-understanding-grieving-teenagers https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/two-takes-depression/201612/the-dos-and-donts-talking-child-about-death?amp https://audioboom.com/posts/6858679-talking-to-young-people-about-death-and-dying Support the show Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit.  You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.  Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com  My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me: www.teenagersuntangled.com Find me on Substack: https://teenagersuntangled.substack.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/ Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/ You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

    43 min
  5. The Vital Skill Parents Can Teach Teens and Tweens: Critical Thinking

    May 6

    The Vital Skill Parents Can Teach Teens and Tweens: Critical Thinking

    Ask Rachel anything Click here for my blog post and summary of the core skills Our teenagers are growing up in a world saturated with information, outrage, and algorithms designed to keep them scrolling. As parents, it can feel overwhelming: How do we help our kids navigate AI, social media, fake news, and online manipulation—without either over-controlling them or throwing up our hands? In this episode, I talk to Dr Maree Davies, senior lecturer at the University of Auckland and author of Teaching Critical Thinking to Teenagers: How kids can be street smart about AI, algorithms, fake news and social media. Her work is all about making critical thinking accessible to all teenagers, not just the academically gifted. And crucially, she shows how these skills can actually reduce anxiety by giving teens a sense of control over the flood of information they face every day. We explore: What critical thinking really is (beyond the academic buzzword) and why the tween and early teen years (11–15) are such a powerful window for learning it How cognitive bias, schemas, and teenage brain development affect the way young people react to information—especially on social media Marie’s Street Smarts model for teaching critical thinking at home and in school, starting from a teen’s own story and perspective How to talk to teens about algorithms, AI, fake news, and influencers in a way that feels respectful, engaging, and non-preachy The role of relationships, respect, and status in adolescent life—and how we can use these realities to open up richer conversations Why modelling our own struggles (with phones, news, time management, etc.) is far more powerful than lecturing Practical question types and conversation prompts that help teens move from emotional reactions to thoughtful, reasoned views This is one of my favourite recent conversations and I’d love as many people as possible to hear it. These skills matter because our teenagers are being shaped—every day—by forces they often don’t fully understand. Critical thinking isn’t about turning them into cynics; it’s about giving them tools, language, and confidence to question, to evaluate, and, when necessary, to change their minds. It’s also about strengthening our own connection with them, so that they feel heard, respected, and equipped to take their place in the world as thoughtful, compassionate adults. Support the show Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit.  You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.  Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com  My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me: www.teenagersuntangled.com Find me on Substack: https://teenagersuntangled.substack.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/ Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/ You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

    52 min
  6. Parenting in High-Conflict Homes: Protecting Your Kids When Your Partner Won’t Change

    Apr 29

    Parenting in High-Conflict Homes: Protecting Your Kids When Your Partner Won’t Change

    Ask Rachel anything “My husband is highly critical of the teenagers, gets angry over little things and yells, so I’m having to make up for his behavior, and I often avoid involving him in parenting decisions." This message came into my Substack. It was a plaintiff request for support and a plea to know how others deal with the problem.  When I posted it (with her permission), a flood of parents said, “This is my life too.” If you're dealing with high conflict in your home, whether with your teens or your partner, then this is the episode for you.  Conflict navigation specialist, mediator, and divorce coach Masha Rusanov helps us to unpack what really sits behind high‑conflict dynamics at home—especially when one parent is emotionally dysregulated, highly critical, or reactive. She says:  'We don’t choose our conflicts. We repeat them. Until we change the pattern." Link to my write-up on the topic In our conversation we explore: Why we repeat the same painful conflict patterns (and how to start changing them)Masha’s simple but powerful Exhale–Explore–Engage framework you can use in the heat of the momentPractical scripts and tools (EAR and BIFF) for navigating a high‑conflict partnerHow to protect your children emotionally, set boundaries, and avoid parentifying themWays to talk to your kids honestly about what’s happening—without overburdening themIf you’ve ever found yourself “making up” for a partner’s behaviour, or trying to keep things calm so your teens feel safe, this conversation is for you. Masha Rusanov Repatterned Book REMINDER: Please don't stay in a situation that is potentially dangerous. This is the national domestic abuse helpline for the UK, but you will likely have one in your country if you're listening somewhere else. Spotting the signs Is your partner jealous and possessive?Is he charming one minute and abusive the next?Does he tell you what to wear, where to go, who to see?Does he constantly put you down?Does he play mind games and make you doubt your judgment?Does he control your money, or make sure you are dependent on him for everyday things?Does he pressure you to have sex when you don’t want to?Are you starting to walk on eggshells to avoid making him angry?Does he control your access to medicine, devices or care that you need?Does he monitor or track your movements or messages?Does he use anger and intimidation to frighten and control you?Support the show Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit.  You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.  Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com  My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me: www.teenagersuntangled.com Find me on Substack: https://teenagersuntangled.substack.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/ Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/ You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

    33 min
  7. The Manosphere for Parents of Teens: Signs Your Son Is Being Influenced (and How to Respond)

    Apr 22

    The Manosphere for Parents of Teens: Signs Your Son Is Being Influenced (and How to Respond)

    Ask Rachel anything “Is my son secretly being taught to hate women?” If you’ve ever heard your boy casually repeat a line from Andrew Tate… seen him disappear into his room with his phone… or wondered what on earth he’s absorbing on TikTok and YouTube, this episode is for you.  The manosphere is grooming boys to believe women are the enemy—and most parents don’t even realise it’s happening.  In this conversation, I’m joined by teacher and author of Unmasking the Manosphere, Matt Pinkett to unpack how these ideas hook our sons, how they show up at home and in school, and—most importantly—how you can respond without shutting your boy down or pushing him further into that world. Toolkit: Checklist of How to Talk to Your Boys Matt Pinkett Conflict resolution skills Looksmaxxing Original Manosphere episode Talking to your teen about pornography The expert on talking about pornography Support the show Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit.  You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.  Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com  My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me: www.teenagersuntangled.com Find me on Substack: https://teenagersuntangled.substack.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/ Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/ You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

    35 min
  8. ‘Lazy’ to Motivated: Parenting Revision, Homework & Exams. Hear a Teen On What Really Helps

    Apr 15

    ‘Lazy’ to Motivated: Parenting Revision, Homework & Exams. Hear a Teen On What Really Helps

    Ask Rachel anything It's exam season and so important to keep a steady ship with all of the stress in the house.  I thought it would be a great time to interrupt my youngest, Amelia, for an honest chat about what she sees as both good and bad strategies for supporting teenagers through exams, and homework; particularly those with dyslexia and ADHD.  We wanted to give parents hope, an honest insight into how bumpy the road can become, and how long it can take to figure out what the best way of supporting your teen will be. Over the past six months at her new college, Amelia has really found her feet and feels motivated to work very hard. This is helped enormously by feeling she matters to friends, loving the college she is at, and receiving proper ADHD support and intervention.  She shares her previous struggles with homework and motivation, attributing it to a lack of emphasis on academics and being placed in less academically focused classes, but also made clear how important it is to take time to understand underlying issues rather than assuming laziness.  Amelia advises against nagging, focusing on long-term goals, and providing structure without micromanaging.  Listen to the end to hear Amelia's important, very spontaneous, message for all parents listening to this podcast.  As usual, my girls prefer not to be on camera, so this is an audio-only episode. Read my thoughts about our discussion here Get the toolkit tips here OTHER EPISODES: Helping kids with exam nerves Tips for parenting through the pressure of exams Trust your kids Boys who’re apathetic about study and exams Why school exam systems need to change How anxiety works and what we can do Support the show Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit.  You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.  Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com  My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me: www.teenagersuntangled.com Find me on Substack: https://teenagersuntangled.substack.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/ Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/ You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

    35 min
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About

I'm Rachel Richards, Teen Parenting Specialist, former BBC Correspondent, CNBC Europe World News Anchor and mum, on a mission to make parenting teens much less stressful, and even enjoyable.  Do you ever feel like you don’t know what you’re doing? I've experienced that too, so have a big hug from me. Here's the truth. You’re doing better than you think you are. No, really, you are. There’s too much talk about what a parent should be, and how we can optimise and perfect ourselves, and not enough about how well you’re coping in this complicated world as you hold your shizzle together. I mean it, the most important message is that you CANNOT be perfect. You’re going to lose your rag, you’re going to get upset and say stupid things and make mistakes and hate your kids and your partner and your life from time to time. Take it from me, if you’re going to worry about anything make it: ‘Am I being curious enough?’ Asking questions will get you everywhere as a parent of teenagers, and the place to do most of your practice is… yourself and your own thoughts and beliefs. So, welcome, pull up a chair, drop your baggage, and make yourself comfortable. Let’s learn together. The Podcast: A fellow mum begged me to start my podcast because she wanted someone she trusted to help her through the teen years, and I’ll be forever grateful to her because the journey has transformed my own parenting and benefited my family beyond imagination. Here’s the good news, this podcast is free and you can learn everything I learned just by starting at the beginning and going through every episode. If you want to go a bit faster then scroll through and pick subjects that cover what you need right now. If you can’t find what you want then message me and I’ll tell you which one will help you most. If it’s not something I’ve covered then I’m like a dog chasing a stick, so you’ll soon get your answers. My main aim is to help you stop trying to be perfect, or comparing yourself and your kids with others. Your only real job is to focus on getting to know the amazing people you have in your life, loving them unconditionally, and showing them you believe they can do hard things. JOIN ME ON SUBSTACK:For those of you who want more, or who just want to help me feel like the pebbles I have dropped in the ocean of life are making a difference, why not join my paid community? You’ll get one-to-one support and printable PDF’s that give you the top tips from each podcast episode so you have your own little, bespoke manual. ASK ME ANYTHING: I’m very busy behind the scenes reading everything so you don’t have to, and when you subscribe you have the chance to ask me anything. If I don’t know the answer I’ll head out like an eager truffle pig, ready to snuffle out the best for you. COMMUNITY: I’ll be offering regular extras, including tips and thoughts, that help you tune into what matters. All of the community notes, and tips, will remain available to paid subscribers. I want to make this more about fun and less about fear. PDF NOTES: So many listeners say they have rewound the episodes to write down notes, well now there’s no need. Paid subscribers will have a weekly, downloadable, summary of the top tips from each episode, so you don’t have to take notes. Please let me know if there are any old episodes for which you’d like the notes. I’m very happy to supply them. POINTERS: Ask me if there’s something you’re struggling with, I can tell you which episode is most suitable for you, because there are a lot to trawl through.

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