Parenting teenagers untangled. 🏆 Your Weekly Hug

Rachel Richards
  • 5.0 (21)
  • PARENTING
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Hello, I'm Rachel Richards, former BBC Correspondent, CNBC Europe World News Anchor and mum, on a mission to make parenting teens much less stressful, and even enjoyable.  In this award-winning ‘audio hug’ you can put down the baggage your parents handed you and relax.  It’s your chance to reflect on what's in your baggage; what's still working, and what needs to be tossed aside. You'll also pick up skills and ideas to help you navigate each new stage of your parenting journey. Each week, I pick a topic, research it, and find you the best answers. Whether interviewing experts, chatting with my mindfulness guru friend, Susi Asli, or getting the lowdown from my own teenagers. You'll hear what experts are saying about the problems we face and the way other parents are struggling. It’s a chance to think about your parenting, shame and judgement free. As the world leading expert on your own child you can then make your own choices about what works for you and your family. Do you have a question, a story, or just need to vent? Drop me a line at teenagersuntangled@gmail.com (total privacy, no judgment, promise). What the Independent Podcasting Awards Said: “The advice in this podcast is universally helpful—not just for parents of teenagers.”  â€œA great mix of personal stories and professional insight—refreshing, informative, and packed with extra resources.”  â€œThe chemistry between Rachel and Susie is fantastic. It’s like sitting down with smart, funny friends who actually get it.” Join the conversation! Find me on Facebook & Instagram.Want more from Susie? Check out her courses at www.amindful-life.co.uk

  1. Beyond Achievement: How to Raise Kids Who Know They Truly Matter

    3H AGO

    Beyond Achievement: How to Raise Kids Who Know They Truly Matter

    Ask Rachel anything Mattering is a deep human need to feel valued beyond achievements. It's something we all need, but are we getting it? The new book by Jennifer Breheney-Wallace focuses on "Mattering," discussing how societal pressures, particularly on teenagers, exacerbate this need.  She emphasizes the importance of adults feeling valued at work to better support their children.  Wallace suggests practical strategies like minimizing criticism, prioritizing affection, and fostering interdependent relationships.  She also highlights the impact of social media on extrinsic values and stresses the need for parents to focus on intrinsic values to raise resilient, well-rounded children. FIND JENNIFER HERE: https://www.jenniferbwallace.com/ BUY MATTERING HERE: https://amzn.eu/d/0fX3Q4Kd FIND RACHEL'S SUBSTACK HERE: https://teenagersuntangled.substack.com Mattering is a fundamental human need that drives behavior.The adolescent years are particularly fragile for developing a sense of mattering.Adults also struggle with feelings of not mattering, impacting their ability to support teens.Building connections and support systems is essential for both parents and children.Minimizing criticism and prioritizing affection helps children feel valued.Surrounding oneself with supportive families can reinforce shared values.Focusing on intrinsic values over extrinsic ones promotes better mental health.Social media exacerbates feelings of inadequacy and should be monitored.Parents can counter achievement pressures by communicating unconditional love.Support the show Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me: www.teenagersuntangled.com Find me on Substack https://Teenagersuntangled.substack.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/ Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/ You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

    27 min
  2. Exam Stress: How to Help Our Kids

    3D AGO · BONUS

    Exam Stress: How to Help Our Kids

    Ask Rachel anything Camilla asked if I could do a short recap of the things we’ve talked about on the podcast that will help us help our kids most. So here it is!  Now, tell me what you want for next week. Click this link for a list of the top tips: https://open.substack.com/pub/teenagersuntangled/p/helping-our-kids-with-their-exam?utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&utm_medium=web Support the show Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me: www.teenagersuntangled.com Find me on Substack https://Teenagersuntangled.substack.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/ Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/ You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

    10 min
  3. Why some parents become estranged (and how to prevent it)

    FEB 18

    Why some parents become estranged (and how to prevent it)

    Ask Rachel anything When Brooklyn Beckham publicly announced he didn't want to reconcile with his parents he was joining a painful catalogue of family stories that have gone wrong.  Estrangement is reportedly on the rise in Western societies but what's behind it?  Dr Joshua Coleman spends his life working with estranged parents so he sees, first hand, the main factors that can lead to it. He highlights that while emotional abuse is often cited as a cause, it's often a matter of unmet expectations and generational differences.  Some of the core drivers are divorce, children marrying someone who doesn't get on with your family, social media ideals, therapy culture and individualism.  Given that estrangement can be emotionally devastating for parents, leading to feelings of isolation and loss, he advises parents to take their children's complaints seriously and to be open to therapy and family discussions.   Dr Joshua Coleman: Family Troubles: https://joshuacolemanphd.substack.com/ https://joshuacolemanphd.substack.com/p/how-to-not-become-estranged https://www.drjoshuacoleman.com/ Teenagers Untangled Community Substack: https://teenagersuntangled.substack.com/ Support the show Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me: www.teenagersuntangled.com Find me on Substack https://Teenagersuntangled.substack.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/ Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/ You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

    35 min
  4. Body image, and getting teens to do chores. Vintage

    FEB 11

    Body image, and getting teens to do chores. Vintage

    Ask Rachel anything For all of the tips click here: https://teenagersuntangled.substack.com/p/how-to-talk-to-your-teen-about-body https://open.substack.com/pub/teenagersuntangled/p/how-to-get-your-kids-to-do-their?utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&utm_medium=post%20viewer A healthy body image: Feeling happy and satisfied with your body and what it can do.  An unhealthy body image: Highly self-critical, comparing their body to others and obsessing about some aspect of it.  Beauty and body image are universal triggers for shame. Shame is a deeply painful sensation from the belief that we’re not good enough and will not be accepted by a group. Only 5% of American women have the body type that advertising depicts as ideal. People magazine poll found that 80% of women respondents felt insecure when they viewed images of women in TV and films. There’s an entire industry fueling our negative feelings regarding body image. Resources: https://raisingchildren.net.au/pre-teens/healthy-lifestyle/body-image/body-image-teens The Body is Not an Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor  I Thought it was just me by BrenĂ© Brown Previous episode: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/104-teen-weight-and-body-image-a-mother-and-daughter-explore-the-issues/ Chores:  Household duties develop a sense of purpose. Lack of purpose is one of the most reported problems in suicidal people. Teens are capable of doing practically any household duty and gives them a sense of belonging to the family team. The Gift of Failure Jessica Lahey: Children prefer parents who hold them responsible for not meeting expectations over those who monitor their children.  Support the show Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me: www.teenagersuntangled.com Find me on Substack https://Teenagersuntangled.substack.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/ Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/ You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

    31 min
  5. Why teen friendships feel so intense, and the most important thing to say

    FEB 4

    Why teen friendships feel so intense, and the most important thing to say

    Ask Rachel anything 'Early adolescence is a friendship meat grinder, and your kid will eventually find their people,' according to Megan Saxelby of Wild Feelings. But oh boy it's tough!   Megan wants parents to know that using words like “dramatic” to describe genuine social pain can accidentally give us permission to dismiss their emotional reality and teach our kids that their experiences doesn’t deserve to be taken seriously. In today’s episode we explore why it hurts so much to watch our child struggle socially, and why our instincts to either dismiss or ‘fix things’ can often make it worse. The good news is that there’s new research, by the eminent Dr David Yeager, that shows there’s one thing our kids can learn that can reduce depression in teens by nearly 40%. We hear the details and some great tips for us parents on the frontline. Megan Saxelby: https://wildfeelings.substack.com/  Rachel's Substack: https://teenagersuntangled.substack.com/ The Study: https://www.nature.com/articles/s44220-022-00009-5 This is such a big topic I have created a lot of content to cover it: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/boy-friendships-and-supporting-our-sons-in-forming-positive-friendships-also-what-the-we-sho-1/ https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/114-friendships-frenemies-and-boy-banter-parenting-our-teens-through-the-relationship-pitfalls/ https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/puberty-toxic-friendships-pick-me-girls-top-tips-for-parenting-teenagers-from-teenagers-147/ https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/top-friendship-tips-for-teen-girls-lessons-from-real-life-sisters/ https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/139-preparing-for-secondary-school-friendship-groups-and-those-awkward-talks-about-porn-and-sexti/ https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/friendship-girls-and-toxic-groups-also-resilience-how-to-get-your-teen-to-keep-going-instead-of-g/ Support the show Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me: www.teenagersuntangled.com Find me on Substack https://Teenagersuntangled.substack.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/ Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/ You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

    55 min
  6. Positive Parenting: Using Strengths to Motivate and Understand our Kids

    JAN 28

    Positive Parenting: Using Strengths to Motivate and Understand our Kids

    Ask Rachel anything We want our kids to do as well as possible, so when they mess up, do dumb things, or seem to be failing, it's easy to focus on their mistakes and what they should do instead.  Naomi Glover, a leading applied neuroscientist and brain health specialist, says we'd get the best out of our kids by doing the opposite; focusing on their strengths. Coming from a  neurodivergent family, she truly understands the challenges faced by ADHD, dyslexia, and other neurotypes and offers practical, easy-to-use “brain hacks” for things like anxiety, focus, and emotional regulation. Naomi believes that once we understand how our brain works, we can work with it—not against it this episode gives us those tips. Naomi Glover: https://neuro-informed.com Find your strengths: PARENTS:  https://www.viacharacter.org/survey/pro/parentingstrengths/account/register UNDER 18'S: https://StrengthBoostU18.pro.viasurvey.org/ Top tips: Lead with strengths, not deficitsRegularly name what your teen does well (kindness, perseverance, curiosity, humour, etc.) instead of only correcting what’s missing.Swap judgment for curiosityUse phrases like “I noticed
”, “Tell me more about what happened”, and “What could we do differently next time?” to keep conversations safe and open.Use recognition as rocket fuel (especially with ADHD/RSD)Give specific, genuine praise:“That was really kind leadership when you
”“I really appreciated you helping with the washing up – that was great teamwork.”Reduce brain overload with routines and single-taskingBuild simple, predictable habits (e.g. “Saturday is bed-linen day”).Avoid multitasking; do one thing at a time and protect focus where possible.Teach nervous-system resetsUse quick tools for you and your teen:Breathing: in for 4, out for 8, 3–5 times.Nature breaks: ~20 minutes outside to reset attention and mood.Support the show Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me: www.teenagersuntangled.com Find me on Substack https://Teenagersuntangled.substack.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/ Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/ You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

    39 min
  7. Teen safety: Predator-proof your child

    JAN 21

    Teen safety: Predator-proof your child

    Ask Rachel anything While counseling sex offenders, Anna Sonoda, LCSW learned firsthand that grooming, the prelude to child sexual abuse, is intentional, gradual, and observable. Her message to us is, we're not bad parents, we just have a skills gap and she wants to fill it.  I grew up in an era of stranger danger, but the truth is the vast majority of abuse happens inside our homes, online and offline, with people our kids know. So how can we spot the signs that a predator is moving in on us and our kids?  Anna says there are clear stages of grooming that, once we know about them, we can intercept. She introduces the "4F formula" for grooming: flattery, favoritism, forbidden fruits, and fear, and stresses the importance of recognizing grooming's subtle signs. Anna advises parents to set clear device usage rules, use parental controls, and maintain open communication with their children. She also advocates for delaying social media access until age 16 and emphasizes the role of parents in curating their children's online and offline environments. In this episode we cover: What Is Grooming? (And Why Your Gut Isn’t Enough)Who Is at Risk? Myths About “Safe” CommunitiesOnline vs Offline Grooming: Why Both Matter The 4F Formula: Stages of Grooming Parents Need to KnowRed Flags of Grooming in Digital SpacesDevices, Social Media and Age: What’s Really Appropriate?Practical House Rules That Reduce Grooming RiskBuilding “Predator-Proof” Kids Through ConnectionReclaiming Parental Leadership in a Tech-Driven WorldResources: Anna Sonoda: www.annasonoda.com IWF: https://www.iwf.org.uk/ UK-based for reporting and removing innapropriate images Common Sense Media: https://www.commonsensemedia.org/ For useful and appropriate age guidance Predator’s Playground: AI, Gaming, and the Kids at Risk https://annasonoda.com/blog/f/predator%E2%80%99s-playground-ai-gaming-and-the-kids-at-risk?blogcategory=Online+safety Protecting Families in the Age of AI: 'Take It Down Act'  https://annasonoda.com/blog/f/protecting-families-in-the-age-of-ai-take-it-down-act?blogcategory=Online+safety Support the show Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me: www.teenagersuntangled.com Find me on Substack https://Teenagersuntangled.substack.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/ Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/ You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

    48 min
  8. How to raise happy, successful adults

    JAN 14

    How to raise happy, successful adults

    Ask Rachel anything Hint: it depends on how you define happy and successful. We all want our kids to be happy and successful but what does that mean? In today's episode, I'm joined by Giselle Goodwin, author of Can Women Really Have it All? to talk about our definitions of success and happiness, and how they impact the way we parent.  In this changing landscape where what we inherit can mean more than how hard we work what expectations should we have, and what message should we be giving our kids about their future if we want them to be happy? Do we have much of impact anyway? Eldest daughter syndrome: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/eldest-daughter-syndrome-and-the-trouble-with-parentification/ The Family Dynamic and the Role of our Community in our Success: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/141-success-what-nobody-tells-us-about-the-role-of-siblings-are-parents-that-important/ Inheritcocracy: How Society has Changed the Rules of Success https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/136-society-has-changed-are-education-and-hard-work-less-important-now-than-parents/ Dr David Yeager: 10 to 25 'Status and Respect' https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/motivation-how-to-motivate-your-teenager-and-why-blame-and-shame-doesnt-work/ Perfectionism: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/perfectionism-help-your-teen-and-yourself-overcome-the-need-to-be-perfect/ High expectations episode and blog: Episode: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/standards-setting-high-expectations-without-the-pressure/ Blog: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/blog/setting-expectations-without-piling-on-the-pressure/ Why mothers aren't happy: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/motherhood-and-careers-can-women-really-have-it-all/ Giselle Goodwin:  @gisellegoodwinwrites on Instagram and YouTube https://substack.com/@gisellegoodwin Support the show Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me: www.teenagersuntangled.com Find me on Substack https://Teenagersuntangled.substack.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/ Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/ You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

    52 min
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About

Hello, I'm Rachel Richards, former BBC Correspondent, CNBC Europe World News Anchor and mum, on a mission to make parenting teens much less stressful, and even enjoyable.  In this award-winning ‘audio hug’ you can put down the baggage your parents handed you and relax.  It’s your chance to reflect on what's in your baggage; what's still working, and what needs to be tossed aside. You'll also pick up skills and ideas to help you navigate each new stage of your parenting journey. Each week, I pick a topic, research it, and find you the best answers. Whether interviewing experts, chatting with my mindfulness guru friend, Susi Asli, or getting the lowdown from my own teenagers. You'll hear what experts are saying about the problems we face and the way other parents are struggling. It’s a chance to think about your parenting, shame and judgement free. As the world leading expert on your own child you can then make your own choices about what works for you and your family. Do you have a question, a story, or just need to vent? Drop me a line at teenagersuntangled@gmail.com (total privacy, no judgment, promise). What the Independent Podcasting Awards Said: “The advice in this podcast is universally helpful—not just for parents of teenagers.”  â€œA great mix of personal stories and professional insight—refreshing, informative, and packed with extra resources.”  â€œThe chemistry between Rachel and Susie is fantastic. It’s like sitting down with smart, funny friends who actually get it.” Join the conversation! Find me on Facebook & Instagram.Want more from Susie? Check out her courses at www.amindful-life.co.uk

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